At the age of 17, Jieun met Yongguk through a mutual friend. Hyosung was meeting the guy she had been exchanging messages in cyworld for the past three months. Though they matched well as they chatted in the cyber world, Hyosung was quiet worried about their first impression.

“Please come with me,” she pleaded and it didn’t take five seconds for the girl to agree (guy and girl who never met each other are just strangers at its best, she said).

It turned out that the situation on the guy’s side was no different. Kikwang enjoyed his conversation with Hyosung and the pictures available in her profile showed him everything that he always wanted in a girl. Just what if she turned out to be really different from what he had been expecting, he thought. So he dragged Yongguk, who was usually loath being trapped in that kind of situation, but couldn’t reject because Kikwang was a senior he knew since a long time.

It was summer that year and they promised to meet in a large infamous park in the town. All their worries were lifted the moment they met. As if two old friends who found their way back together again, they chatted and laughed and walked together a few meters ahead, leaving the two strangers who knew nothing but each other’s names behind.

Yongguk was no man to initiate a conversation with an unfamiliar girl first, usually, but Jieun kept rubbing her arm and looked away tilting from time to time out of discomfort. Hence he started a conversation, asking how old she was and it was going all smooth after they found out that they were born in the same year and particularly only a month apart.

While Hyosung and Kikwang drowned in their own lovey-dovey world, they dug more about each other too. They found differences, especially about their personality, but it was put aside when they realized that they both shared major interest in music. The genre was again different (he was more into hip hop and she was an avid fan of R&B or ballad) but it didn’t matter because they believed people was free to choose their preferences and Jieun played piano while he had since long wanted to learn one. They decided to exchange mails and to keep in touch.

At the age of 18, Jieun found her self often in noraebang with Yongguk. Her parents were against her wish to pursue music because she was still young and they were worried it was just a hormonal teenager’s impulse. She stopped talking about wanting to get a singing lesson, but her parents was understanding enough with letting her getting the piano lesson still. However, Yongguk didn’t want her to let her dreams died down so he made the “stage” for her in that small room of karaoke place, asked her to sing songs, gave her evaluation of her improvement and areas she still lacked of and mostly acted like her biggest fanboy, shouting her name and cheering for her singing.

When he was not spoiling her with compliments on noraebang sessions, they would be hanging around in some music instruments stores, playing around trying different kind of instruments. He got into LP one day and started collecting it with the money he got from part-time jobs (sometimes he also helped an underground hip hop group performing) and she would tag along him hunting for the rare pieces.

Remembering the first minutes they spent meeting each other back then, none of them expected that they could be this close.

She was 19 when the first butterfly’s wings spread inside her stomach. They were getting real busy with final exams and college entrance preparation. He didn’t really have an intention to go to college but he needed to at least pass the exam so his parents could let him go pursuing his personal goals. His grade was always excellent and he was always good with study since the beginning (his head was good) so it didn’t really bother him much.  She on the other hand had been stressing out about exams and cram school.

He asked her to meet one afternoon but she said no over the phone call. Her schedule was a mess and she needed to catch up in some lessons. She hung up hurriedly with his 'fighting' that she didn’t even bother to listen to the end.

She got back home almost midnight, struggling all the way back in the bus to keep her consciousness. And he was there, as she was about to step into the apartment building, sitting in a corner near the pot of a miniature tree.

“Yongguk?”

He looked up when she called his name so doubtfully, because it was for the first time he appeared just like out of nowhere in the middle of the night, and spread a gummy smile across his face. She asked him what he was doing there at the time like that, he ruffled her hair and handed her a small brown paper package she didn’t notice was there before.

“It’s just some random stuff I recorded in little time. I’m sorry I still can’t sing you properly ballad songs though. Good luck with exams!”

By the time she noticed that he was fidgeting in his place despite his usual calm composure, she was sure whatever feeling the spreading warmth inside her heart indicated to, he felt it too. But it was not the right time to jump into conclusion and started something new, so she just leaned over and slipped her hands through his hanging ones to his back, hugging him so close and whispering ‘thank you’.

Yongguk had the courage to confess on his 20^th birthday, after long contemplations about the changes they would encounter going on from a really close friend into a romantic relationship. The tense from exams was long gone, she was a freshman majoring in music (she succeeded convincing her parents, after all she was accepted into a famous university) and he after much consideration had taken his parents’ advice of getting into college while still doing things he loved. They were both happy and satisfied with college life so far and it was his special day, she booked a room in noraebang just like the old days and personally baked him a cake. She sang cheery songs and he joined her once in a while after being nagged by. At the sequence of one hour and twenty-something minutes they found themselves engaged in singing love song (the result of his random numbers choose). He stopped singing and put his microphone away as he absorbed how cheesy the lyric was but couldn’t help to not notice how it actually described them. He gathered his courage and continued singing loudly and wholeheartedly, and by the end of the song he screamed ‘Song Jieun be mine’.

Jieun blushed flushed, smiling widely sweet then laughing at his confession. She jumped at him, hugged him tight and whispers of repeated ‘yes’ got into his ears. And she let him kiss her when they about to went home.

Their relationship lasted for one year and seven months before they decided to go separate ways. During their early college years, Yongguk had developed a new passion, volunteering. He participated in many charity events held in the town and donated his money. He used to go to countryside too to do volunteer, living there from one week until a month. Jieun never complained about it even when her friends kept telling her that he spent more time doing charity than being with her. It didn’t matter to Jieun though, because she understood him and wanted to support him in every good deed he did. There was never really a problem in their relationship, except the small argument here and there usually escalated from her naggy-nature and his lack of awareness to maintain his health.

Thus, she never expected it to come at that time. Yongguk decided that he had found a new path he wanted to try; he wanted to travel around from country to country and do charity works. He told her he would take a temporary leave from college and she was thinking in her mind that there should be no problem since she was all ready to wait for him to be back again. However, the words ‘break up’ slipped out of his mouth.

She was really angry at first, half-yelling to him that she must have listened to her friends. That he didn’t care for her, he never thought of her feelings. She spitted her rage at him with tears running down her face. He held her hands and explained that he couldn’t be in a relationship because he didn’t even know when he was coming back and where he would go and whether he could keep the communication with her. He said that he didn’t want to bind her in that kind of relationship with no certain direction.

Her pain and anger was unbearable though, she couldn’t listen and chew his logic. She left and walked away in the end.

He departed without seeing her because it was only a few days away since then and she still refused to see him. He left a bunch of the same message on her number (in case she would delete it right away without reading it) telling her that he at least wanted to remain friends and if she could accept his wish, he asked her to send an e-mail and he would try to contact her once in a while when he got connection.

Two weeks after that she left him a short message through e-mail.

Ok.

For all the time they spent together and for all the good memories he gave her, and actually for the love she still bear inside for him.

In her twenty-two years life, she only ever had two relationships. The first one was in junior high, a skit that only lasted for three months, ridiculous puppy love. It was not wrong if she said what she had with Yongguk was her first relationship, the first serious and real one, and it was a happy and good one too. She had a hard time moving on because of those thoughts, also because Yongguk was still there, looking happy and beautiful (yes, beautiful) smiling in those picture he sent her from various places.

Yongguk came back three years later, a bit tan and way skinnier than the last time she saw him in person. She had promised to fetch him in the airport and he was thrilled to see her again. Just, Yongguk often forgot that they were no longer dating (and he was the one who called it a break first) and it upset him when she showed up with a man beside her, clutching to her hand. She had never mentioned word ‘boyfriend’ in their exchanged mails.

She was 25 and the guy, Suho, was a year younger than her. Out of all the men her friends tried to hook up with her, Suho was the only guy who succeeded in making his way to her heart. He was really persistent even when she repeatedly gave him cold shoulders, and he was kind too, he smiled often and he loved children (Jieun opened a music studio with a friend, where she mostly taught piano for kids, and Suho dropped by often). There were times when Jieun looked at him and thought that he reminded her of Yongguk. But she assured her self that no, she didn’t accept Suho for that, that she sincerely liked him.

It was like her relationship with Yongguk was back to how it used to be before they developed romantic feelings. They didn’t go to noraebang though, but Yongguk came to her music studio occasionally and watched her giving lessons to her students. His music colors developed as he visited many places, but his skills with modern instruments like piano had dropped down much as he didn’t have much chance to practice. He said that he depended on technology more these days to make music.

Since they were adults now, they went out for drinks too at night, that way they learned to get closer to each other again. They talked about many things they couldn’t share through mails for the past years. He told her his experiences being overseas and she informed him of common things like how she finished college and how Hyosung and Kikwang were planning on their marriage. At one point, it turned into silence after they talked too much and laughed too much. He downed another shot of beer before (crazily and carelessly) blurted his heart out.

“I miss you.”

Jieun just stared at him with an incomprehensible look in her face. She gulped down the remaining liquid inside her can of beer.

“You never told me that you have a boyfriend.”

Deep down inside, Jieun silently told him it took long enough for him to mention that. She thought he really didn’t care and would never say anything about it.

“Well, you know now.”

They finished late and quite drunk that night, Yongguk was worse than her. She thought maybe she should send him back home with a cab, but she impulsively brought him back to her apartment instead. When she put him to sleep on the couch, he snuggled inside the pillow and mumbled her name and some other words she couldn’t clearly figure out. He repeated it three times, before falling into deep sleep. Jieun woke up the next morning with a headache and a weird dream of having wings and Yongguk’s kiss that felt so real. When she checked the living room, he was gone and the blanket was folded neatly with the pillow on top of it.

Yongguk left for army a few months after that, they were 26 by then. She bid him goodbye this time, even setting up a small farewell party the day before he left. On the day of his enlistment, she spotted Yeongju was present, a girl he told her he met in one of his volunteer work. She wasn’t sure why, but she thought it was safe to assume that they were in a road into relationship (well, Yongguk had never really talked about it). So when he hugged her and asked her to send him letters because it would be so lonely and hard in military, she only gave him a small smile and said she would try. For she was sure Yeongju would showered him with letters, based on the looks she gave to him all the time.

Jieun was back to her daily activities after that, the one she experienced when Yongguk was away. She wrote to him three times in the span of one year and sent him food twice. She tried not to think about him and the sound of her name he called in his sleep that night he was drunk. But it was hard, he called her half the time he was given the chance for a phone call, complaining with his deep bass voice on why she didn’t write to him often.

Also hesitantly telling her that he missed her even more than when he was away overseas.

After the 14^th month of Yongguk enlistment, Suho proposed to her. He booked the whole restaurant, hired someone to play piano and decorated the place himself with lots of roses.

The food tasted good and the wine was a fancy old one. The place was beautiful and Suho looked extremely fine and handsome in his suit, and adorable from his nervousness. Everything was excellent but the moment he opened the ring box, she was hesitating. No, it was not that the ring was bad or anything, precisely it was beautiful and she was sure it cost him quite a fortune but her mind kept going back to Yongguk, to the night when she was still 19 and Yongguk had came to her with his own composition of some hip hop songs. When she came to think about it again, Yongguk never gift her something really expensive but she could remember each little thing of it, and the memories still made her feel warm to this day. Yongguk was never like Suho who was a romanticist that would make her cringe and weep from all the surprises and events he made. Yongguk was never like that.

But then again, why did she kept thinking about him when she had this kind of prince charming in front of her, giving her one exact thing Yongguk didn’t give her before, a steady relationship and certainty.

Looking at Suho with tears in her eyes, Jieun realized that she had never moved on all this time. She was stuck in the same place Yongguk left her before. She still loved him after all these years (clearly the reason why she agree to remain friends after the break up for she couldn’t bear the thought of having no idea about his whereabouts and how he was doing), and it was stronger than before. It was not just some random teenage love because she could picture going through everything life had to offer her with him. Just with him, not anyone else.

“I’m sorry, Suho.”

She tried to talk truthfully to Suho, without hiding any facts and feelings she had. He took it really well in her eyes, saying that he had known it all along and it was partly his fault too for clinging to her and pretended he didn’t see the way she looked at Yongguk. It made her feel more guilty after she heard it, but he told her to not to.

“Honestly, I’m really thankful. I’d rather have you as my friend than my wife while you’re not even happy with it.”

He asked for a last friendly hug when they parted way that night. “You better tell him soon, time is precious and you wouldn’t want to lose a chance again. Put aside your pride. Pride will always charge us a lot.”

She thought of Suho’s advice and planned to give him a visit. But visiting someone being trained in the army was not a simple thing. She came once and he was out in the forest, guarding a post. The second time she came, he was in a war simulation. So she decided to just wait for his next call.

The days felt long and she spent the night restless and sleepless. She remembered Yeongju and her mind started to speculate things. What if they were dating? What if it was too late for her? At the time like that, she took out the old CD he recorded for her and played in her room, listening to his voice, assuring her self that there was still chance left when she had yet to try.

His phone call came a month and a week after Suho’s proposal. It scared her that she almost missed the call because she was away in the bathroom. Praise the Lord she got to her phone right before the last ring.

“Song Jieun, what took you so long?”

Jieun felt she was back to her teenage years, when her heart fluttered and blossomed from the many little things he said and did. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“How have you been doing?” he asked, voice sounded tired but merry.

“I miss you, Yongguk.”

Jieun decided it was time to be brave. She needed to express her self clearly, there was no room left to be tentative.

It must have surprised him because for eight seconds (she counted) he sat there soundless, far away in a small cubicle of the army’s phone. It had been so long since Jieun said the kind of emotional words to him, in fact it had stopped since that day when they were twenty-two.

He cleared his throat. “Oh, yeah, Jieun, I miss you too.”

“No, Yongguk, you-wait-how many more minutes you have left?”

He glanced at the timer. “Two minutes more or less.” He was calling his parents before her.

Jieun, alone in her flat, walked back and forth while grabbing a handful of her skirt. How did she explain everything in such short time.

“Jieunnie-”

“Are you going out with Yeongju?”

“I-what-hey-”

“Yongguk just please say yes or no,” she cut impatiently. The time was ticking and she wouldn’t survive waiting for his next call.

“Jieun- okay, no.”

It felt as though a really heavy weight had been lifted from her heart and she thought she could go screaming and dancing and running around the house. There were times for that later.

“Yongguk, it’s really a long story but you have not much time left but I love you, I still do, I always do, so come back to me and be mine again.”

Yongguk tried to remember the date of that day after what she said, he was sure it was not April 1^st so no one should play that kind of joke with him. But there was Jieun’s voice again, rang out through the phone, rushing him to say something.

“Hey-I-but-how about Suho?”

Jieun wondered whether the army turned his head bad or it was the situation that did.

“Do you still have to ask about it when I just confessed to you and we’re running out of time here?”

Oh.

“Jieun-I-oh-how-okay, YES! I-”

Tut…tut…tut....

They got married at the age of 29, just not long after Yongguk finished his army duty. The wedding was not grand, but it was a beautiful garden party as the commemoration of their first meeting. He finally learned to compose a sweet melody song and she sang it on their wedding day. The honeymoon was well spent on Greece, where they toured around the island, trying new things, ruining their pre-marriage diet results with bunch of tasty foods and exercising through the nights making love to each other (which gifted them a honeymoon baby).

Their marriage life was blissful through the years. She was happy and he was too. They loved each other, took care of each other and got into arguments just like any other couples. But they made up before the day changed and everything was to be thankful for.

Just, there was one thing Yongguk regretted. When their three children (two sons, one daughter) turned teenagers and started talking about their crushes, they went to Jieun and asked, “Mommy, how did you and Daddy end up together?”

Jieun stared at him from across the kitchen counter, lips smiling and eyes shining. He sensed that she was up to some mischief and he would be humiliated by his kids forever.

“You know, sweethearts, I told your father to be mine, and so he did.”

In his entire lifetime, Yongguk regretted that occasion the most, where his phone call got cut off because he was run out of time. Or else, he could say something cool to her that would scratch her ridiculous way of confessing (threatening).

Later that night when he climbed over the bed and slipped under the blanket with Jieun snuggling closer in his chest, he complained to her.

“You shouldn’t tell the kids that. I’m a cool father and no cool father was confessed to by the mother.”

She chuckled and tightened her hug around his waist. After years, a trace of childishness had found its way back in him.

“It doesn’t matter who made the first move. As long as by the end of the day, you are mine and I’m yours.”

He smiled and she reached out for a kiss. And Yongguk whispered in her ear, “I think it’s not too late for the fourth baby.”

________________________________________________________

*fin

A/N:

I got the idea out of nowhere in the middle of the night when I was supposed to go to sleep because I had a morning class. It feels so good to write Bangsong again after a while. I did write some drabbles of them (and other couples too) in my livejournal account though. If you are interested you can check it here ---> http://seopiro.livejournal.com/

ah, Jieun's new song is really good and the one she did a duet with Zelo is really good too. maknae Junhongie is growing up.

have a nice day everyone!