Luhan refused to answer any phone calls that day. He stayed cooped up in his tiny rented apartment on the outside of town, cocooned in the soft blankets on his bed. He was never really that introvert. Apart from being mute, he often liked to hang out in large groups with a smile on his face, laughing along without a care in the world. So when Sehun got his answer phone message for ninth time that day, he knew something was wrong.

They'd been friends for so long, and although sometimes it felt like a one sided friendship, he still cared for Luhan. He had his reasons, and Sehun knew that something tragic was behind his silence, but he never questioned it. He felt it rude to ask, and he wouldn't even get an answer anyway. As much as he wanted to hear Luhan's voice, he could wait. He was patient.

Knocking on Luhan's door, Sehun swung on the balls of his feet, slapping his left fist into his right palm repeatedly. He looked up and down the corridor of the apartment building. It was rather lavish, with cream walls, marble floors, even a real plant in a pot in the corner. He'd checked to see if it was fake, to see if the janitors of the building were cheap. He was impressed that they weren't. Sehun wondered how Luhan had managed to afford such a lovely place. He didn't work, from what Sehun could gather. No one would employ a mute person, considering most jobs required speech and interaction, even in the interview. A trust fund, maybe? Savings? Who knew. 

The door slowly opened, and a doe-eyed Luhan stood in the doorway. He was clad in stripy pyjama pants and a baggy white shirt that looked like it was eating him up. His eyes were tired, his hair messy, his lower lip curled into a pout. Sehun couldn't help but smile. Even in this state, Luhan still looked extremely gorgeous, and it only fuelled Sehun's crush on him. The crush he refused to tell anyone. The crush that was eating him alive. Considering Luhan was the mute one, Sehun refused to speak on that topic, which amused him ever so slightly.

"I didn't disturb you, did I?" Sehun in his lower lip and bit down on it, sliding his hands nervously into his pockets. Luhan shook his head. He could tell it was a lie, but there was no way he could extract the truth. "Are you okay?" Luhan hesitated. He could lie again, nod and smile, invite Sehun in and they'd have a laugh like nothing had ever happened. But today, he couldn't. Today, Luhan didn't have the strength. Again, he shook his head, dropping his gaze to the floor. And as if by instinct, Sehun stepped forward and enveloped his arms around the older boy, pulling him into a tight, comforting hug. Even just by the hug, Sehun could tell there was something not quite right with Luhan. the hug wasn't his usual tight, squishy hug that almost lifted Sehun off his feet, regardless of the height difference. Sehun just held Luhan, rubbing his back, his hair, whispering soft comforting words into his ear, anything to show that he was there to help. He got nothing back, but he hadn't expected anything.

A few minutes later, Luhan pulled away, but kept his eyes on the floor. He threaded his fingers through Sehun's and clamped down on his hand tightly, tugging the younger boy inside. He closed the door and led Sehun through his apartment. Sehun guessed they'd end up on the couch, watching some crappy film that Luhan loved that he himself and no interest in. But when they passed the door to the living room, Sehun frowned a little. Okay, maybe tea first? Again, no. they passed the kitchen, and Luhan opened the door at the other end of the corridor. Luhan disappeared inside, and due to their hands still connected, Sehun followed. He stopped just a little into the room, gazing around. He'd never been in Luhan's bedroom before, which was weird, considering he'd lived there for years. It was always the kitchen, the balcony or the living room. Luhan had been in Sehun's bedroom countless times, sat on his bed, spun on his desk chair, balanced himself on his window sill. This was a whole new experience for Sehun.

Luhan took a seat on the bed, his back against the headboard, knees tucked in to his chest. He resembled a small child, and considering the circumstances, he felt like one. He didn't feel like his usual happy, bubbly self. He just felt empty, and he hated it. But he couldn't help. Sehun took a few more exploring looks around his room, soaking it all up in case he never got to see it again before taking a seat beside Luhan. Instantly, Luhan curled up into Sehun's side, and Sehun wrapped his right arm around Luhan tightly. They stared there, curled up together in silence, Luhan listening to the soft beating of Sehun's heart to his chest, his eyes fixated on the wall to Sehun's left that was covered in photos, memories. 

Minutes dragged by, and to Sehun, it felt like hours. He hated the silence. Normally it was always him holding up the conversation, but nothing felt right to say. The boy in his arms looked so lost and broken that Sehun had nothing inappropriate to discuss. It was crushing him. He hated seeing Luhan so upset. He missed his beautiful smile, the brightness of his eyes. That's what he'd fallen for; the little giggle that came from Luhan whenever Sehun threw him a weird face or a lame joke, the pretty pout he pulled whenever Sehun was reluctant to make him another cup of tea or get him another slice of cake, the way he tugged on Sehun's arm and pointed at something he wanted, the way he'd curl up in blankets just so only his eyes up were visible, the way he'd ruffled his hair to get it from his eyes, and if that failed, he'd stick out his bottom lip and blow his fringe away. Everything was just perfect, but right now, that wasn't Luhan. That wasn't his Luhan.

Sehun was now sick of the silence. He looked around to see if there was a radio, a CD player, an iPod dock in the room, anything to play a little noise. There was a docking station, with no iPod. Sehun sighed a little, looking down at Luhan. his eyes were still on the wall. Sehun turned his head to look at the photographs, smiling as he spotted the ones he and Luhan had taken on their trip to London together. Luhan had bought two Union Flags, to which he tied around his and Sehun's wrists. He refused to allow Sehun to take it off, shaking his head and pouting every time Sehun tried. Other memories came flooding back, causing a huge grin to spread across Luhan's lips. He was so wrapped up in reminiscing that he didn't notice Luhan slip his fingers through Sehun's once again, this time holding a little tighter. He used his free hand to point up at a particular photo, a selca they'd taken on their hotel room balcony. Luhan was smiling brightly, the orange glow from the sunset hitting his skin perfectly, making him look breathtaking. Sehun, to his surprise, was also smiling. He rarely smiled in photos, but this one he was. He looked extremely happy, of course he was. He was on holiday with Luhan, the boy of his dreams. He didn't look quite as beautiful as Luhan, no one did. but it was still a lovely photo. Luhan made grabby motions with his hands and Sehun reached up, plucking the photo carefully off the wall .He offered it out to Luhan who took it, smiling a little down at it. Sehun watched him, wondering what he was thinking. Did he think that Sehun was breathtaking? Did he even think that he was good looking? Was Luhan attracted to him at all.

"I love that photo." Sehun whispered quietly, and Luhan nodded. He glanced up at Sehun with a blank expression. It was a step up from his sad droopy eyes from earlier. Luhan dropped his gaze back to the photo and gently flipped it over, revealing some text in black ink scribbled messily on the back. He offered it out to Sehun and he took it, reading the text carefully. "London '12, HunHan." Sehun couldn't help but chuckle at the mashup of their names. It was something their friends had conjured up, considering they'd spent so much of their time together. A bromance, they called it, but that word stung Sehun. He wanted more, he craved more. He didn't want friendship. He wanted to be able to sweep Luhan up in his arms and kill him with kisses whenever he liked. He wanted to shower him with love and gifts and praise, anything to get a beautiful smile, just for him. He wanted to call Luhan his, but it didn't seem possible. Sehun had lost hope long ago, but his feelings had never faded. They only grew, suffocating him to the point where sometimes he'd cry at night because he couldn't get over his crush. Except, it wasn't a crush. Not anymore. It was love. He was truly in love with Luhan, and he couldn't ever tell him.

Sehun held on tightly to the photo, continuing to stare down at it. somehow, holding this memory, sharing this moment gave him courage. It was now or never. What could Luhan really do? Throw him out? Refuse to speak to him again? Maybe. Maybe then Sehun could forget his feelings and move on, find happiness with someone who returned those feelings. "Luhan.." Sehun begun, his voice quiet and weak. No, he had to be strong. He had to be sincere and show he meant it. "Luhan, I love you. I've wanted to tell you for so long, but I was afraid. Afraid you'd reject me, afraid I'd love my wonderful friendship with you. Ever since I met you five years ago, I've been head over heels for you." His eyes stayed transfixed on the photo, whilst Luhan was staring up at him with his usual doe eyes. "I want nothing more than to call you mine, hold your hand, kiss you, love you, have a couples fight with you, move in with you, grow old with you. It's what I want so badly, and I don't know how you feel. I wish I knew, but sometimes... I've never once complained about you being so silent. But this time, I just want to know. I want to know how you feel. I don't want t joke about this anymore. I don't want to keep calling you baby and you faking your blush. I don't want to keep attempting to flirt with you only to get nothing back because you don't speak. I want to know how you feel. I want to know what it is you want. If it's not me, then that's fine. I'll be okay with that. I'll be okay moving on, I'll be okay forgetting this ever happened. But I just need a sign. Please, give me a sign. Just... Anything." By the end of his speech, Sehun was quiet once more. His heart was aching, expecting disappointment. He hoped for the best, but as usual, he expected the worst. The only good thing in his life was his friendship with Luhan, and this was the turning point. It could get better from here, but it could surely get worse.

A hand suddenly cupped Sehun's cheek and lifted his gaze from the photo. Sehun didn't have to comprehend anything, he was still too wrapped up in his own embarrassment. But then he felt something warm and soft on his lips, and his whole body tensed. He was being kissed. By Luhan. Luhan was kissing him. Their lips were touching firmly in a sweet, somewhat messy kiss. This was happening, and Sehun felt like he was about to pass out. He'd stopped breathing, getting light-headed, but he was enjoying it. It wasn't exactly how he'd planned his first kiss with Luhan to be. He'd pictured many scenarios; running at each other in an airport as he reached him in the nick of time, their lips crushing together as the rain beat down on their faces, the moon illuminating their faces in some romantic rain scene, even a spin the bottle scene and popped into his head. But this, this was better than what he could ask for. Because even though Luhan would never speak a word to him, he felt like he could understand anything and everything he'd ever wanted to say in this kiss.

Luhan slowly and reluctantly pulled away, but still remained close to Sehun. His eyes stayed close, but Sehun opened his, staring at Luhan in shock. Did that really just happen? He gently placed his hand over Luhan's that was still on his cheek, and the older boy opened his eyes. The eye contact hit Sehun like lightning, causing his heart to beat faster, almost exploding from his chest. He felt like he was going to be sick. Sick with happiness. Luhan smiled that beautiful, sickeningly sweet smile he always did around Sehun, and Sehun smiled in return. He could see it now. He could see the affection in Luhan's eyes. How could he have missed it? Maybe he'd convinced himself that Luhan didn't reciprocate the feelings. But now he could see he did. And Sehun couldn't have been happier. Luhan didn't need to talk. Sehun was perfectly happy just kissing him for eternity.