The crowd’s uproar was definitely deafening, and the flashes of light almost burned Himchan’s eyes. He decides to avert his gaze from the glares and eyes at the man comfortable sitting beside him, answering random questions the fans throw at him.

Himchan smiles a little, because he loves it when Yongguk talks. He has this glow, that draws anyone who is anyone in, deeper to the abyss that you can’t escape.

Because that’s how he fell for him. Madly, completely, and utterly beautiful.

“Oppa, what is your ideal type?” A harmless question. Himchan hears this and decides to settle back on his chair, waiting for what Yongguk might conjure. He can’t freely say that Himchan is his ideal type, no. (Although the blonde wishes he does.) He blinks once or twice and the next second it’s Yongguk’s voice filling the conference room.

“I like people with pretty hands.” The leader smiles at the fans, and Himchan couldn’t help looking at his own hands.

It wasn’t the prettiest.

It was calloused on some parts and he hated to admit this, but he felt insecure.

~

The ride home was silent, except for the light tunes emitting from the younger member’s handheld game consoles or smart phones, and Himchan’s thoughts still cloud at the idea of Yongguk liking pretty hands. He doesn’t want to overthink it, because he is Yongguk’s boyfriend, he was chosen, loved, and cherished for a reason. But a part of him itches and just wants to shut the world out because as much as possible, he yearns to be Yongguk’s definition of perfect.

“Channie?” Yongguk looks at him eyes saturated with worry and something else that the blonde couldn’t figure out. He whips his head to the older’s direction with a smile, fake or not, he needed to appear all right to his worrisome boyfriend. “Anything wrong?” Yongguk’s hand rests on his thighs, giving it a light squeeze. Himchan shook his head. “I’m just tired.” He rests his head on Yongguk’s shoulder, inhaling the scent, feeling comforted.

Himchan hides his hands in his pocket the whole ride.

~

Each member had their own world in the dorm, and Himchan was just sitting motionless on the bed, staring at his palms. A knock was heard and he the doorknob turned, revealing Yongguk. “Are you going to eat, Channie?” Himchan thought that he didn’t need more pounds which might probably sky rocket his insecurities to the constellations. He just wanted to look so beautiful and yet he feels that he is not enough. He hates it, so he just shook his head, lying down on the bed, facing away from Yongguk.

“Himchan, it’s either you tell me what’s bothering you or I won’t leave you alone.” Yongguk chuckled, sitting beside the man who seemed to be out of focus ever since the fanmeet.

Please don’t leave me alone. Please stay with me.

The bed dipped at the added weight and Himchan just shrugs, and groans. “Nothing is wrong, Bbang.”

“Oh, so you’re calling me ‘Bbang’ now? What happened to ‘Gukkie’?” Himchan could feel the gummy smile radiating of the man and he can’t, absolutely can’t resist that voice, that smile, that smell, that everything which makes up Bang Yongguk. He makes clear things blur up in a fog until the only thing that Himchan needs is Yongguk’s words, his touch, his love.

People say love can make you crazy.

Himchan thinks he is crazy.

Yongguk puts an arm over Himchan, who is still facing away from him. “Baby? Tell me what’s wrong?” He whispers and it has an opposite effect on Himchan, the warmth of Yongguk’s breath caused a cold trail of electricity down his spine. A kiss on the neck later, and Himchan turns to Yongguk.

“I just..Ah, I think it’s silly.” Himchan closes his eyes, and snuggles close to Yongguk. There is no way he can admit something as shallow as that, let alone me upset over it by a large magnitude.

“Beautiful.” Yongguk muttered, and he cracks his eye open. “S-stop saying things you don’t mean. I’m not beautiful, I don’t have a flat stomach, my nose looks weird, My skin isn’t flawless enough, my hands aren’t pretty and—“

“Is that why you’re acting weird? Because of what I said?” Yongguk pulls away from Himchan and hover atop of him, his forearms resting on the side of Himchan’s head same with his legs to Himchan’s hips.

“No..” Himchan tries to deny, but he knows that Yongguk knows when he is lying, it’s only Yongguk who knows him like he is the back of his hand. It’s only Yongguk that knows he prefers long kisses on the days where Himchan is a little too cranky, How he likes it when Yongguk touches his inner thighs, How the hot breath of Yongguk felt so good against his skin on the winter nights when blankets weren’t enough to keep him warm.

Yongguk was like a dance of a thousand sunrays on Himchan’s world.

“Brush me off, or not. Kim Himchan, you are beautiful.” And the next second, Yongguk is loweing his head down and plants a tender kiss on Yongguk’s forehead. “Kim Himchan is beautiful. His skin is like snow, always cold yet so white. I feel like I need to burn him with touches so he’ll have some color. I like it when his cheeks turn red when I say I love him, or how his skin burns up when I touch him like this.” Yongguk runs a hand down Himchan’s chest, and finds it’s way back to the other one’s face.

“Y-Yongguk stop.” Himchan is scared, and yet he wants to feel more. It’s not the first time his insecurities ate him up, but it is the first time it slipped for Yongguk to know. “Never. Because when I stop, then I will lose you. I don’t think I want you to be away because you’re the one that keeps me stable.” Yongguk kisses Himchan’s cheeks and then his nose, then his other cheeks, and lingers for a long while when they are on his lips. He tastes like cherries, and a whole lot of want, or need. Himchan needs Yongguk like anything in the world.

Yongguk stares into Himchan’s eyes because he needs to how the beauty that he sees. Yongguk starts kissing the jawline, and Himchan wraps his arms loosely around Yongguk’s head, throwing his head back on the pillow subtly because he craves for reassurance, and here is Yongguk, telling him all the good things that he wants to hear, that he wants to believe in. “I love it when you talk a little loud, or when you hold my hand when you laugh too much you can’t breath, I find it beautiful when I wake up early in the morning, and the sun bathes you with this orange hue and you look like an angel. I like it when you smile every time I leave you morning kisses, You look beautiful when I kiss you.”

Himchan's breath becomes heavy and he pulls Yongguk’s head just so he could see his face, a grin sprawled on it. “You look beautiful when you’re flustered.” Yongguk’s lips are again on his and this time, Himchan tugs at him harder, and when it’s time, Himchan parts his lips, and Yongguk slides his tongue in, exploring Kim Himchan because Kim Himchan to him is perfect. The said would always bite at his lips, angle his head so that they would find harmony in the kiss. Yongguk always leads the kiss. He plants a simple one, and adores the flushed face that Himchan has.

“I love your hair, your nose, your eyes. They sparkle every time I look at you. I glow because I see you.” Yongguk’s hand slides down Himchan’s body, and settled for the other’s hands. He kisses each knuckle and Himchan is dumbfounded,

Himchan was surprised at the sudden intimate action that the other one have given to him, but instead of complaining, he closed his eyes, and let Yongguk do what he wants, it’s not because he felt pity for himself but it’s because he wanted it too. Yongguk pulled away from the simple kiss, not shifting his gaze away from the younger. Himchan was amused at how Yongguk’s face looked like he wanted more of it, and he, gladly wanted to grant the invitation that Yongguk was showing him. Himchan kissed Yongguk’s parted lips, his tongue fondling Yongguk’s lower lip. Himchan wanted to push his tongue out of his mouth and other’s lips, he wanted to taste Yongguk like he never wanted to taste anything in his life.

Himchan pulled his neck more, to deepen the kiss. He was the one who tilted his head to the side so his tongue could go deeper. Himchan Yongguk’s teeth, caressed his tongue with round moves and the both of them just couldn’t resist the sensation. The tip of his tongue lightly fondled the bottom of his tongue.

To Himchan’s surprise he didn't backed away. Little by little Yongguk’s tongue moved, his body moved, his arms wrapping around Himchan’s sides as his tongue caressed his. Himchan wrapped his arms around him, afraid that he would run away, vanish with his touch. He his tongue inside his mouth, their tongues weren't battling; it was more like a dance. Twisting and interlacing.

Himchan hugged him, not breaking the kiss, just bringing him closer. Himchan was gentle, caring and careful. He was so glad for this. He pulled away and saw Yongguk’s flushed face, breathing heavily hoping to catch his breath.

“Kim Himchan is beautiful in every way. And I am so lucky to have him.” Yongguk is smiling again and just switches their position, with Himchan straddling him. He nuzzles his head on the crook of Himchan’s neck and he breathes deeply. “He’s perfect. I don’t get why he gets insecure because he is perfect to me.”

Himchan almost wanted to break into tears because Yongguk was like a pilar of support, and he is more than glad to share his insecurities with someone else but himself. Yongguk lifted boulders he took years and years to carry, and with just a simple kiss, the last of this night, sealed the deal that he will see himself as more than enough.

Because if Yongguk loved him, then he can’t be anymore perfect.

ew what is this fluff shame on my cow

ugh basically just fluffy fluff i wanna stab my eye rn

whew and if there are any BBC lol ohmygod i'm very very good *sobs real tears*

comments are loved 

ps; unedited and i make embarrassing typos