(A/N: I'm trying to make the story feel like it's written in a notebook with lined paper, hense the lines and the underlining.)

Dear Journal,

First I'd like to say that the other notebooks have been completely filled up so it's time to start with a fresh one! Yay!

I went to the hospital again today because I cut myself when I was chopping vegetables. It wasn't really anything major, but since I've been skipping out of my infusions I needed to go. Baekhyun came with me though. Even though I really don't like hospitals, having Baekhyun there just makes everything easier. I had heard yesterday that Jongin was was in the hospital again, so I figured we should go visit him. I kept getting lost though and Baekhyun kept making fun of me. He kept saying that I should know the hospital in and out since I practically live there. I don't explore the place. I just go in and do what I have to before leaving. That's it.

It took us almost ten minutes to find the right ward and room. When I was about to open the door it opened before I even had a chance to grab the handle. Another man came out of the room and Baekhyun was the first to react, pulling me out of the way. He was so much taller than I was. He had hair the color of gold and chocolate brown eyes that looked slightly sunken. His skin was pale and he looked like he hadn't eaten in days. The first thing I thought was that I had the wrong room. I knew most of Jongin's friends and he wasn't familiar to me. He mumbled out what I think was an apology before hurrying away. I was curious though. When Baekhyun let me go I looked into the room and there Jongin was, looking beat up and staring at the ceiling. He had his leg in a cast and suspended in the air, his arm also in a cast. There were other cuts and bruises all over his face and neck. Baekhyun walked into the room before me and demanded to know what happened. Jongin just grinned at us and told us it was a skateboarding accident. Apparently he had been trying to make a video with Sehun, his best friend. Baekhyun and I laughed at him.

Jongin asked us why we came all the way to the hospital since he couldn't be the reason. Baekhyun pretended to be offended by the accusation telling him he was like a little brother to the two of us. Jongin just rolled his eyes and I laughed. They went back and fourth like this a lot. He asked what the real reason was and Baekhyun made me confess to my accident this morning. Jongin groaned and threatened to lock me up in a padded room if I wasn't more careful. Baekhyun laughed, but I didn't find it funny. I told him if he did that I'd be the reason he ended up in the hospital again. They thought I was joking, but I really wasn't. This condition of mine already stops me from doing things I want to do, I wasn't going to let it slow me down anymore. In attempts to change the subject I asked Jongin who the person we ran into was.

He told us he really didn't know. Apparently his name was Kris and he liked to wander the hospital, visiting people who couldn't leave their rooms. He was a very nice person, but he didn't talk much and it took nearly a half an hour for Jongin to even get a name. That made me even more curious as to who he was. Did he come and go from the hospital or was he a patient that was there for an extended period of time. Neither was a good option in my opinion, considering I have done both. When I was younger my parents were really overprotective and didn't know what to do to make sure I didn't hurt myself. They came up with leaving me at the hospital for weeks as a solution. I do not miss those days.

Jongin requested that the next time we visit him we should bring food since hospital food is terrible. I told him I would bring the extra food from when I cook since I usually make too much for just me and Baekhyun. Baekhyun immediately started whining about how he took those leftovers for his lunches since he worked at a big corporation. Jongin was quick to tell Baekhyun to stop being so selfish and share. I couldn't help but laugh. It was funny when people fought over my cooking. It was also very satisfying.

We had to leave shortly after their little argument, and I still promised Jongin some real food when I visited him again before Baekhyun could protest. He drove us home, which was normal since I didn't have a car. I didn't really like driving, but I partially blame my parents for that. They kept telling me the dangers of moving vehicles and made me afraid of them. I barely ride the bike I have because of it. All this talk of my parents reminds me that it's almost my mother's birthday. I should at least send a card.

Baekhyun disappeared into his room like he always does. When he doesn't go into work he still has to work on his computer and do a lot of conference calls. I generally try to stay out of his way. He told me that if I ever needed him all I had to do was ask, but I tried very hard not to bother him. It only lasts until six o' clock anyway

Since we got home around four thirty I went into the kitchen to make sure he had everything for dinner. I planned on making a vegetable soup which is why I was chopping all those vegetables this morning. I went to the cupboard to pull down the seasonings I needed and realized we were out of olive oil. I scribbled a note on the white board for Baekhyun telling him I was going to the store for a bit and walked out. The store wasn't that far away from the apartment where we lived, so I just walked. I found what I needed right away since I knew the store inside and out. I did all of the shopping because I did all of the cooking and Baekhyun was usually too busy to go out. Sometimes he would come with me and carry the groceries if I bought a lot though.

I was happy when I realized my favorite cashier, Chanyeol, was working today. I went to his line, even though it had the most people. I guess he wasn't just my favorite cashier. I grabbed two candy bars while in line, one for me and one for Baekhyun. Baekhyun had quite a sweet tooth and I liked to do little things for him once and a while. After all he paid most of the rent without complaint. We had a system. I would give him a little bit for rent and I would cover all of the food and cleaning supplies. I did all of the cooking and cleaning anyway, so I thought it was a fair trade. He still refuses to tell me how much he pays for rent though, which is frustrating.

When I got up to the front of the line Chanyeol greeted me with enthusiasm as he usually does. He's very good at being happy with all of the costumers, but I could tell when he was being like that for work and when he was genuinely excited to see certain people. We chatted for a little bit, the normal hellos and how are yous. I didn't mention my trip to the hospital. Baekhyun and Jongin were protective enough, I didn't need Chanyeol looking at me with worry. He asked how Baekhyun was doing and I told him he was busy as ever. He told me I should bring him along again sometime soon. I laughed. It wasn't really a secret that Chanyeol had a crush on Baekhyun. Unfortunately Baekhyun was the only person who didn't get it. I promised I'd be back in a couple days with Baekhyun to do the big grocery run. Chanyeol smiled excitedly and told me to text him before we did to make sure he was working. I told him I would and headed back to the apartment.

When I got back I got right to work. I finished cutting the vegetables, carefully this time, and started cooking the soup. My timing was perfect again because Baekhyun came out of his room just as I was about to take the soup off of the stove. He rubbed his eyes, looking frustrated, but put on a happy face when he saw me. I hated it when he did that. He always kept his troubles to himself, but I told him everything. I served the soup in two bowls and cut the bread. Baekhyun tried to offer to do it, but I refused. I knew he was going to be extra protective of me cutting things since that's how I ended up in the hospital this morning, but I wasn't going to let it stop me. He just sat down and I served the bread. He praised my cooking, like he always does, and I thanked him. I never got tired of hearing it. He and I both had seconds and I put the leftovers in the fridge.

After dinner I handed him his candy bar and I could see how excited he was about it. I laughed and he thanked me. He retreated to his room again, telling me he had some extra work to take care of. I told him that was fine and cleaned up the kitchen and the table, doing the dishes. I hate it when dishes pile up. I just do them every night so they don't have a chance to.

After I finish cleaning up I went to the soup kitchen that I volunteer at. It's a little far to walk, but I don't mind. I like helping out when I can. I try to go at least twice a week, usually Wednesday and Saturday, and I get there before the dinner rush, which is at seven thirty. I got there and greeted everyone. I'm friends with pretty much everyone that works there now. There's Yixing who serves, Joonmyeon who makes sure everyone gets their fair share and doesn't fight, Luhan who helps me cook, and Minseok who just helps people if they need it. Joonmyeon is the owner as well and he's really nice.

Luhan and I get cooking right away, not wanting to be late. The people are generally very nice and understanding, always polite if we're a little behind schedule, but we don't like to be. We've gotten it down to a science and are right on time. The soup today we made was a simple potato, but everyone said it was really good.

By the time we closed up it was almost ten o' clock. We said our goodbyes and Luhan offered me a ride home, but I said no. I liked walking, especially during nights like this when the air was crisp and only a little chilly. The moon was full tonight, although I couldn't really see the stars since it's the city. One day I would like to vacation to the country and just lay outside, staring at the stars.

When I got home I went to my room and read for a little bit. I enjoy reading, it's relaxing. I looked at my calendar and realized I should really get a infusion soon. I really shouldn't avoid them since they made it so I didn't have to go to the hospital so often. I just don't like them. After maybe another twenty minutes of reading I got up and went to my desk and now here I am. I'm going to be after I finish this entry. I have to get up early so I can make something for Jongin in the hospital. Hopefully I'll run into Kris again. I'd really like to talk to him. Well, goodnight.

Saturday, October 13