Title: My Turn

Words: 970 words

Date Started: 02/01/2014 3:00:05AM

Date Finished: 02/01/2014 4:10:43AM

Characters: Byun Baekhyun, You. 

Darkness greeted me as soon as I opened my eyes. I walked and walked, struggling to find light. I need to get out of here. I must find a way. Step by step I took, changing my paces from slow to hurried alternately. Sweat began dripping from my forehead, but I did not care. I continued my steps, as I was desperate to find the light. Sweating and panting I was, yet the light was still nowhere to be found. As soon as my feet could not take it anymore, I collapsed on the ground heavily panting. This is not my end, I shall find the light. Those were the words I kept chanting on my mind. I then saw him – a blinding light, smiling ever so brightly, in which I would bear all the pain just to be able to see hear. My lips curled into a smile, but quickly changed into a deep frown when he turned around, his back now facing me. I can hear my heart breaking into million, gazillion pieces the moment he walked away from me. It was slowly becoming dark again, with him walking away from me. For a moment, I saw a tear come out of his eyes. Then it struck me. He was crying, and I wasn’t there to hold her.

I suddenly jerked awake, catching my breath whilst my face is covered with sweat and tears. By instinct, I turned to my right and reached for something. I felt nothing but coldness. I frowned and remembered he wasn’t there anymore. His side of the bed felt so cold, so lifeless. I slowly sat up, clutching my blanket as tears started rolling down my cheeks unknowingly. I then walked towards the window and opened the curtains and was greeted by the moon. I sighed and blinked, as I think I saw the moon looking so sullen. I went to my study table and pulled out a pen and a paper. For a moment, I didn’t know what to write. But as soon as I started, the words came out naturally, and before I know it, I was writing him a letter.

Dearest Baekhyun,

How are you? Are you alright there? Are you coping up just fine? Was it that hard being an idol and such? I heard it was hard. Ah, you must have cried a lot. You’re a crybaby. I miss you a lot. I miss your melodic laughs, your bright smile, your captivating orbs, everything. Everything about you, I miss it. I miss us. But I love you too much that I will let you go just for you to be able to achieve your dreams. Keep on doing great! This is your dream! Fighting!

I smiled bitterly as I placed the letter away. I couldn’t help but reminisce. Oh, good old times. Good old times.

“How’s training?” I asked the moment he stepped inside our house. He had a stressed look on his face, and with no words said, I knew what happened during trainings. I quickly told him to go to the kitchen and eat, but he refused, saying he wasn’t hungry and made his way to our bedroom, with me trailing behind him. He sat on the bed, took his face in his hands and ruffled his hair in frustration. I went to his side and hugged him. Instantly, he began crying, finally pouring all his bottled feelings out. “It’s okay, Baek. It’s okay. It may be really hard. They may get really hard on you, but it’s okay. It’s normal. Everyone passes through problems and troubles. They’re only trying to make you stronger. This is your dream, remember?” I felt him nod, which made me smile a little. “Then don’t give up. Show them that you’re strong. That you’re not a crybaby like you are right now.” I joked, in which I earned a pinch on the nose. We both laughed after, as I wiped the tears away from his cheeks. “You know, you shouldn’t cry in other places without me.” I said. “And why is that?” He asked, wiggling his eyebrows. “Because you cry a lot.” I earned another pinch on the nose, and after that he started tickling me.

No, it’s my turn to cry, I’ll cry now. I’ll take all of your tears.

Fresh tears came out of my eyes one by one as I stared at our old photos. It was already yellow and some parts started to fade. This was supposed to be thrown away months ago, but I couldn’t bring myself to throw all the memories away. Not when it was the only thing that reminds me of him. Of us. Of how we were before. I closed my eyes tightly and as the memories flooded my mind, my heart clenched. It hurts. It really does. I laid down on my side of the bed, staring at the ceiling. I then glanced at his side of the bed, and began imagining that he was there. With my hands, I traced his face, which I memorized so carefully, in the air.

Your shy smile and gentle eyes. I want to hug you, what do I do?

“Byun Baekhyun, please don’t cry in any other places. I wouldn’t be there to wipe the tears away and hug you like I do, before.” I whispered the message into the thin air. “I love you. I still love you so much, I miss you.” I continued.

Baekhyun shuffled in his bed, turning around, finding the position to be able to sleep. But no, it never came. He stared at the ceiling, as his mind wandered through his past. Her. His angel, his everything. “Please be happy. I’m missing you, so so much. I love you.”

I love you, I love you, don’t cry.