" 4 months, it's just 4 months but why does it seems to be years?. I know that I always get a chance to see her, her face is featured everywhere, but her presence, it is what I need. She looks lovely in those tv shows but she's definitely lovelier in person. I miss her, I miss her touch, I miss her scent, I miss her kiss, I miss my baby, I miss her everything. I wanted her here, I wanted to be with her. But she's an idol, and I'm nothing, nothing but her boyfriend. " 

It's almost midnight but I'm still awake, thinking about her, about us. Sitting in the couch where we used to cuddle makes me long for her more. My phone became a part of me since Im always waiting for that call, a call from someone very special to me. Since she's an idol, I can't just call her when I wanted to, I might distract her like what her manager always says. 

My relationship with her is a secret. Although we dated and became a couple 3 years before she debuted, we still kept it as a secret. She was a my childhood friend. We grew up together as bestfriends and eventually fell inlove with each other. My family and close friends accept her, so does hers. 

The thoughts of how Im going to sneak for her drifts me to sleep when a sudden vibration wakes me up. My heart skipped a beat as I look for my phone inside my pocket. I can feel my hands trembling as I open the SMS. I scoffed at disappointment.

Hyukie <+8811296>

Hyung ~ Wake up! Noona's on the show. She looks pretty.  

It was a message from my dongsaeng, Hyuk, who is apparently sitting on the floor. I glared at him and he put his best aegyo. I kicked him as my eyes drifted to the beautiful lady on screen. My lips curved into a smile as I scan her embarassed face because of something that the host blurted. I miss her. I was so dazed to notice that Hyuk is smirking at me. I don't care about anyone now, my girl is on the show, she is all that matters now.

Host: I believe that you heard the rumor about our Seyi-ah having a long time non-showbiz boyfriend. Is it true or just a rumor?

Hyorin (leader): Ah, no. It's just a rumor. Our Seyi is not in a relationship.

Host: Is that true Seyi-ah?

Se yi: Y-yes. 

Silence filled the room. I can see how Hyukie made a face for what he heard and I feel the same, but Seyi is an idol. I know that this is a part of being an idols boyfriend, you will always be denied.