Sept. 20th, 2013 - 'Words I never said.'

Dear, xx...

Today you left..

Today's the last day I fear I'll never see you again.

I waited all week for you to show up again so I could tell you these words I've never said. My pride held me back from all those chances; now here I am sitting alone at my desk filled with regret. Those times I could've reached out to you that I didn't, those possibilities you sent to me that I took in but ignored. We had a lot in common, we got along well and I don't even know if you saw this as well. I went to all the periods I knew I'd see you, yet you started not coming. I wondered if I would never see you again, that if you left already until today. Until sixth period came, there you were in the library excited to leave. I'm excited for you, I just wish I would've told you that last moment I had with you, I really like you. I got up to leave once depression seeped in me, I hurried quickly to my locker in hopes to relieve my mind. Once I wrenched those doors open to the hallway, I was nearing the brink of convincing myself I was being childish. I stepped to my locker with the door opened and blocking my view, once I closed it you were there to my disbelief. You walked over and hugged me tightly leaving my heart to nearly beat from my chest. There's the second chance I had that I didn't take, that was the last chance I might ever have. Yet, my pride defeated me for the millionth time. The only words I could say was, "Be safe." Even so I'm suffering from never taking the chance to confess, I'm happy I got to at least wish you well before you leave. And I still do, I want you to stay well so that maybe, hopefully, one day we'll see each other again and I can say these words I've never said. I'm going to miss and remember you and hope you'll do the same. I hope that in some way, you cared a little for me in the short period we knew each other. I hope when you arrive to the Navy, you'll think of me.

Just once, think of me. I'll be thinking of you in return.

Sincerely, xx.