It is already midday, definitely time where people are in the middle of their activities.

It’s a time where elders are working, teenagers are schooling, kids in playgrounds, streets busy with vehicles, and right time where people should exactly rather not at home, especially in bed.

“..Yoona, how long are you going to stay in bed?” Yuri asked her sister, staring with pity and worry, mostly worry, but she can do nothing out of it.

Yoona doesn’t answer, not because she doesn’t want to, but simply because she doesn’t know what answer to give.

Yuri knows what her sister’s problem, and it’s not her that she wants. It’s someone named Sooyoung.

Yoona has her eyes red and swollen, tearstained on her cheeks, puffy and tired with her body lying on the bed hopelessly, hugging tightly to the pillow where she can burying her face to muffle her sobs.

The tall brunette has been crying, crying her heart out all night to where tears can flow no more, and even if there still are, she has no strength to wipe them anymore.

There is a phone lying by Yoona’s side just in matter of inch.

Yoona is definitely waiting for someone to call or at least a massage.

But no, not even one, ever since last night, where she knew that she screwed up. No call, no massage, and its killing her, greatly.

She tried to call, even left massages, and up to this moment, none of the replied by the one and only Choi Sooyoung. No response, no massage, nothing..

Yoona knows that she messed big time, it struck her considerably the moment Sooyoung left their dinner. Yoona knew that this time, she is terribly screwed up.

Sooyoung left the dinner.

And no matter how long, and how much their friend asked her to stay, from the playful Yuri to the wisest Taeyeon couldn’t even get the brunette to stay.

Yoona couldn’t even lift her face last night.

She was scared of the anger from Sooyoung’s face.

But it was a glance when Yoona knew that Sooyoung wasn’t mad. She was hurt, Sooyoung was. She even got a glance of Sooyoung’s bleeding lip.

And of course it was him.

Yoona hates the fact that she hurts someone she loves, that someone else hurt the one she loves.

But she can do nothing, and that’s what makes her hell damn frustrated!!

How would it turn out if she was mature enough to stay out of the conversation throwing by the only man there?

How would it turned out if she was understanding enough to know that Sooyoung has took it more than she could?

How would it turned out if she was calm enough to stop when Sooyoung told her so?

It keeps lingering inside her head, filling her with worry and fear, doing nothing but crushing every little pieces of hope that left. The hope of her and Sooyoung to be together.

She has not that much time until the marriage, and she cursed herself for blowing out her only chance to get the love of her life, to fix things, and just living with happiness.

For now, Yoona doesn’t even have a slight idea of what’s going on by the other woman’s side. She can guess, but not exactly what she needs. She can run her way there, but it’s like the situation couldn’t get any worsen.

There is reason why Yoona knows about no response from Sooyoung.

She knew that Sooyoung must have something to take care herself, taking care of the mess she had done.

How the hell she was so easy to get into that senseless conversation?

How the hell she was so weak to put on fake smile and pretending that they’re friend?

How the hell that was so stubborn to listen when Sooyoung told her to stop?

Why she had to screw up when she is this close?

Yuri is staring at her sister in more sadness the more she stares. And the white envelope in her grip doesn’t help any better.

Yuri knows that it will break every wall that left on her sister, she knows that it will break her down than how she already was.

But she has no choice. Yuri knew that she is in no place to blame anyone.

Yoona is her sister, but Sooyoung is her bestfriend. And it’s definitely anyone fault.

“..she left to Japan..” and what escaped Yuri’s lips is enough to get her sister sitting on the bed, staring at her hoping that her sister said nothing.

“She left me this in my workplace..” she added “I went home to give you this..”

Yoona is staring deep into her sister’s eyes, hoping that it’s a joke. No, hoping that it’s a dream.

“..but I don’t think you can handle this..” Yuri mumbled to which it break Yoona all over again.

“Yoona.. I will tear this if you want me to..” Yuri said as she lifts the white envelope “..she told me do so.. and tell you that she already left..” she said “you won’t catch her.. not this time..”

Yoona tore in tears and pain. She doesn’t even know how to make it less hurt. It hurts like hell..

“..Yoona.. tell me what should I do with this..” Yuri asked softly, standing right by her sister’s side.

Yoona is staring on the letter while her shaking hand reached out to hold the latter.

Yuri leaned down to place a soft kiss on Yoona’s hair before she whispered “..I’ll be outside if you need me..” and she walked out, closing the door, giving all the time and place where Yoona could be with herself.

Yoona’s hands are shaking when she carefully opened the letter. It was a handwritten. And it’s Sooyoung’s.

Yoona..

By the moment you have this with you, I will be already on my way to Japan..

I am sorry for leaving a piece of paper as my goodbye because I am not strong enough to say it right in front of you..

And Yoona knows from the tearstained that it was the truth.. Sooyoung cried.. and so does she..

I can’t bear it.. this kills me just as much as it kills you, and the last thing I want is the inability to hold you in my arms, to be your strength and comfort when I, myself is crumpled down on my defenses and wanting to kill myself out from the mess I got you into..

I am sorry for coming back into your life when knowing that never going back might be hurt less and easier for both of us..

I am sorry for the pain I caused you.. for hurting you.. and what’s worse is that I can do nothing to be there when you need me..

I couldn’t be possibly written all the things I’ve been sorry about because it will be hell long, and I have not much time for that..

But Yoona.. I am truly sorry.. and I wish that by the other chance we meet, that little kindness I ask for you is only to give me a smile despite I know that I don’t deserve one..

Yoona..

As you said, time only number to count and what happened in between were all we need.. that’s so I know, no matter no long we’ve knew each other.. no matter how long we’ve parted.. I know, Yoona.. I always know.. that you’re all I need..

There might be a lot of things of us that we don’t know about, but I don’t mind spending forever to get to know about you more.. all your weird sleeping habits, all that mood swings, all of what you wished me to know by time.. call me crazy, but I love them just as much as I love you..

There might be a lot of misunderstandings, but I don’t mind spending forever to apologize, just as long as you’re here.. with me.. just close, so close where I can hear your heart beats..

There might be a long road ahead that we have no idea about, but to tell you the truth, I never mind walking in the dark with you, as long as you hold my hand, so tight that you will whine on how cramp it would get..

There might be a lot of differences in between us, but I just love everything about you.. every little things.. and every stupid things.. and just everything about you..

Yoona, why did you think that you need a month to make me falling in love for you again? You know I love you.. and you know I always do..

I clearly aware that I had so little to offer, and what little I had might be never enough for you.. and what’s best out of me might not even cross that little expectation of yours.. but trust me.. when I said I love you.. I love you with every way I possibly do, with every way you let me to..

I love you just of who you are.. Yoona, I always do..

And there is the price of every little step that people take.

For the question that had lingered inside Yoona’s head, and by the latter on her hand. Yoona got exactly the answer she would never want.

And instead of getting the answer of her question, what she got is the total opposite of all of them, where it keep reminding her..

That she screwed up..

That she lost the only chance she could have.

And if Yoona thought that she had done crying, hell, she is so wrong, because the moment she read every words from the letter, tears flowing out, more than before, more than how she thought she could had, more than she could deal with.

We’ve gone to far, and wherever we’re walking right now, wherever we’re heading right now, it hurts like hell.. just so hurt because you’re not here.. with me..

You know, I was broken once, and never did I think that I will get this feeling back.. more than before.. more than I could take care for..

And by all the things that happened, it got me one things..

Yoona, how would it be it we’re humble enough that we kicked aside that stupid stubborn pride and had that one.. only one day in between that five years as we apart.. just to say ‘I love you’..

Will it be different?

But here we’re, wondering blindly simply because we never took the chance..

Blame me all you want, because sure I deserve more of it..

Hate me all you want, because more of it, I was one who started this..

But please do remember, that wherever I am, however I do, whenever I breath, and from the start of me to the end of me.. Yoona, I love you.. and I will always do..

In my heart you lives and you stays, because my heart has been yours, still yours, and always be yours..

We’ve parted once.. and we’ve met.. to which I wish that we can meet again even if it means that I need to live another life..

Until then..

With love,

Sooyoung

And if she thought that she was already crumpled down to her limit..

She was wrong.. because the pain hurt her mercilessly, over and over again…

It was enough to kill her to know.. that Sooyoung left..