It was a generically quite morning as Suho cracked his eyes open on the peaceful Saturday morning. The light that was filtering through the windows and the birds happily chirping away not to mention the butterflies gracefully flying past the glass only added to the almost Disney feel morning and now he only needed to start singing to finish off the scene. Humming the melody to Circle Of Life he quickly got up and had a shower changing into a fresh pair of clothes before going over to check his phone. He noticed one missed call and scoffed at the idiot who would even consider trying to call him at 5 o’clock in the morning on his day off.

His smirk immediately fell as he looked at the name of his managers number on his phone and sighed as he thought of what his manager wanted from him now that was so important that he called so early. 

“YOU WANT US TO WHAT?!” Suho yelled into the phone as his manager tsk’ed him over the line.

Not too soon after his outburst he was met with his door being slammed open and an alert yet zombie like Chen holding a fly swat above his head ready to attack. His hair was tussled in every direction possible and he was clad in a long black tee and his Adventure Time boxers.

“HYUNG! What’s wrong? A burglar? ? Where is he I’ll swat him. Get behind me.” Chen shouted surely waking up the rest of the dorm before going to run forwards to his ‘helpless’ leader, miscalculating his footing on one of Suho’s socks and face planting the floor, his knee connecting with the edge of a desk.

“Ow, ow, ow.” Chen chanted as he bit back tears. It wasn’t because it hurt or that he was a little (extremely) humiliated becoming acquainted with the floor; he was a man after all. It just came sharp as all or that’s what he kept telling himself.

Suho sighed as he watched the younger writhe painfully on the floor; his practically useless fly swatter still clutched in his hands as he meekly waved it around. Telling his manager he understood and that he would tell the rest of Exo Suho hung up the phone before walking over to the now unmoving figure on the floor.

“Nothing is wrong Jongdae, just some surprising news.” Laughing as the younger on the floor sluggishly raised his head, he raised his brow at the fly swat.

“And what did you expect to do with a fly swat? Hit the guy till he was annoyed enough to leave or kill us both. I think the plastic would break before you did any if at all damage.”

Getting up off the floor Chen patted his shirt and boxers before shrugging. 

“Knowing you hyung, you probably would scream at a bug at 7 in the morning plus it was the first thing I could get my hands on. Just be thankful that I actually bothered to try and save your sorry unlike everyone else that cares more for sleep then their left nut.”

Suho nodded before patting Chen’s already ruffled hair and moving around him.

“Well thanks for trying to be my savior Chenchen.” Chen couldn’t help but let a smile cross his face but let it fall as Suho continued.

“Even if you inevitably could of gotten us both killed in the end.” He laughed as he left the room.

“Hey, it’s the thought that counts, right.” Chen shouted before following after the leader.

~***~

Now Suho had always noticed that his band members weren’t exactly always on the same level as there age suggests but it never really worried him because as long as they continued to practice and impress on stage then they were doing their jobs correctly. It wasn’t till he realized that they were going to take on some major responsibilities that he began to become slightly more worried about his childish members.

He gasped as a loud bang echoed through the dorm from the direction of the bathroom and Luhan came flying into the living room his hair pulled back tightly behind him with a black, sparkly head band and his face an unusually green tinge.

“OK, WHO DID IT? WHO DID IT? WHICH ONE OF YOU LITTLE S PUT GREEN FOOD COLOURING INTO MY FACIAL MASK CREAM?”

Everyone turned their gazes to the piercing eyes of the blonde diva and immediately averted their own afraid that the look Luhan was giving would burn their eyes and make them melt out of their sockets onto the floor in a pile of goo. 

“No one is moving till I know who the idiot that messed with my stuff is caught.”  Everyone stayed silent and Luhan huffed at the lack of response.

“Well I know it wasn’t me and I’ve got things to do” Kyungsoo said getting up to leave the room. He stopped however when a panda coaster from the bench flew in front of his face hitting the wall beside him and falling to the floor, looking up to see Luhan in a post throwing position. He gulped as he slowly sat back down on the couch.

“Hey don’t hurt my Kyunggie bear!” Chanyeol wailed as he protectively put his arms around the smaller earning a scoff from a certain eyeliner-clad man across the room. It went unnoticed by the two on the couch and so he threw up his hands and went to get up forgetting the fuming, green blonde. When Luhan further lectured him to sit back down and demanded who dare touch his face products he boredly put his head in his arms and preceded to block out the morning chaos that seemed to take place every damn day.

As know one cared to give details on the troublemaker and soon to be victor to Luhan’s wrath, Luhan had no choice but to use his last resort.

“You guys do know I know the password to the Internet which means I can turn it on and off as I please.” Everyone stiffened as they gauged if the elder was being serious and by the smirk that was plastered over his green face they guessed he was.  

“How the hell did you get the password?” Xiumin spoke up in disbelief. No one but the managers knew the password. Not even Suho or Kris.

“I have my ways.” Luhan smirked bringing up his nails to inspect them before chuckling, his face darkening considerably and the others were sure that dark tendrils would shoot from the ground and drag them into the depths of hell before they had the chance to run.

“Ok, if that’s how you wanna play.“ He sing-songed, smirking when 10 fingers pointed towards the culprit and Sehun sinking as far back into the couch as possible. 

Suho sighed as he got up from his position on the couch following Kyungsoo and heading toward the kitchen. He knew he should probably stop Luhan from mutilating the youngest member of the team but instead decided to leave it for the two to sort out for themselves or until Kris got annoyed enough to break them apart himself.

He was contemplating on how he was going to break the news to the other members and the situation they were being placed in when Kai came out of his room holding a pair of holey white briefs at arms distance and sauntering over to the kitchen.

“Hey Kyungsoo, do you know where my good underwear is?” Kai asked inspecting the underwear he had in his hands and deeming them un-wearable.

“I think the question is why isn’t all your underwear good pairs of underwear Jongin?” Baekhyun snickered from his place at the dining table.

Kai shrugged and ignored the question as he focused his attention on Kyungsoo.

“There is some in the clean washing basket and ew Jongin get them out of the kitchen I’m cooking in here.” Kyungsoo grimaced looking at the rags in the youngers hands.

Kai merely beamed as he nodded and went to walk out of the kitchen stopping momentarily to look at Luhan pinning Sehun on the couch, one arm pulled behind his back as his face was being pushed into the couch, the muffled sounds of his apologies to the elder male and insistance that it was a joke falling on deaf ears.

He went to start walking again when he heard Kyungsoo beginning to talk from behind him.

“What did you want your good underwear for? Last time I checked you only wore them to special concerts or family outings.”

Kai spun around and smiled at the curious cook.

“You know me too well Kyunggie. I’m visiting my mum and sisters this weekend and I need to be wearing the absolute best."

"Aww that's sweet. You want to be all nice for your mummy." Baekhyun cooed pretending to squish Kai's cheeks from a distance.

"Well that and she has some sort of psychic power that can sense what kind of underwear I’m wearing and if it’s not to her standard she can get pretty terrifying.” He shivered at the past lectures and more than embarresing moments that had surfaced because of his mothers strange for clean underwear and letting everyone know about it.

“Oh yeah.” Sehun gasped and sat up now being released from Luhan’s grip as the elder stalked back off to the bathroom. 

“Remember your 14^th birthday when she magically took them off you to show the other parents what condition they were in and then flung them into that poor kids face when he said they were fine.” 

“Ugh don’t remind me. And he just so happened to be the one that had a crush on me."

"Maybe he enjoyed having your underwear in his face then." Sehun laughed.

"Not if they look like that he wouldn't." Kyungsoo emphasised nodding towards what Kai had in his hand.

Kai frowned as Kyungsoo laughed and continued with doing what he was doing.

"Well he never came back over after that so I doubt he wanted to be anywhere near my mum or underwear again.”

“Scarred for life probably,” Sehun suggested. “But it still amazes me how she does it. It’s like she is going to give you a wedgie and then bam they are in her hand.” 

Kai shook his head as Sehun was lost in wonder about his mother’s capability of removing ones underwear before walking out the kitchen to claim his clean boxers.

Suho sighed as he placed his chin in the palm of his hand wondering what in the hell he had just been listening to and resting his elbow on the table.

“Is no one able to take care of themselves around here?”

~***~

3 hours later and Suho had been able to round up the other 11 members in the living room fiddling with the edge of his shirt as everyone sat down and looked expectedly towards him.

“Ok so I’m going to cut this short cause there is no point beating around the bush.”

“Yeah especially bushes like the Gympy-Gypmy.” Suho squinted in confusion as he turned to face Chen.

“Do I even want to ask what?”

“I am just saying you wouldn’t want to beat a Gympy-Gympy.” He sighed at the looks of confusion before elaborating further.

“It’s a really toxic tree and if you touch it it’s like being sprayed with hot acid! In one disturbing case a man committed suicide by shooting himself after he used it as toilet paper.” Chen explained.

The room was silent as everyone processed the new and pretty useless information, silently judging the other and wondering how he came about such random facts. 

"Your an idiot." Xuimin exclaimed, whacking the other over the head with the book he had been reading and getting a punch in the shoulder back. His eyes widened as Chen leaned in closer whispering in his ear for only him to hear.

"I wouldn't mind beating around your bush." Chen chuckled blowing into the others ear and smirking as Xuimin shivered before coming back to his senses and pushing the vocalist off of him. 

"You really are an idiot." He muttered trying to fight back the smile that kept threatening to come forward. Chen pouted before smiling to himself and settling back on the couch.

“Um ok, anyway as I was saying." Suho continued.

"The manager called me up this morning and he has a task for us.”

Whispers sounded around the room as everyone discussed what the manager had in store for them. They fell silent when Suho cleared his throat to continue.

“I hope you all like kids.” 

A/N: Ok so I finally put the first chapter of this up YAY!! I'm warning you now guys I am so bad at being funny that it's ridiculous OTL. Ugh I'm trying though >< Oh and if you are wondering (your probably not but I'll tell you anyway) the Gympy-Gympy is an actual tree here in Australia and yes a man did shoot himself after mistankingly using it as toilet paper :O 

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