When a couple comes to their final decision of divorce, first of all the things, they look for the best firm to hire a lawyer. Bae, Kim & Lee is basically the best firm of the Seoul city where you can find the paramount divorce and private attorneys. And the wonderful thing is all the Bae, Kim & Lee clients are always willing to pay the millions that we are billing; while we’re travelling in their vehicles, or having coffee at Deli, they’ll pay it off. At times I wonder if divorcing worth that much, if so, did marriage do so too. However I’m very well convinced of living single for the rest of my life.

And today, a nice Monday on which I would rather sit and bill some client by being at the den of lawsuits, I had to attend my latest client’s hearing as a junior litigator, the litigation of a very desperate couple for divorce.

Kim Sung Gyu and Kim Jiyeon had been married for five years, and have a four years old boy that I swiftly disliked. The real reason that Mrs. Kim, or Jiyeon as she wanted me to call her, wanted a divorce is that her husband was too much engaged in work and was never at home which depressed her, for four years, he had failed to provide the relevant affection and attention for her.  This was claimed as unreasonable behavior of her husband. So she left him and her child at his apartment three months ago. She returned wanting a divorce and her child’s custody and petitioned before hiring me as her lawyer. Her husband on the other hand didn’t agree with the facts and wanted to defend the divorce. Things got complicated up to the court, like they normally do, and was to be discussed in a few hours at the court.

I, as Jiyeon’s lawyer am supposed to defend her side of view and settle down the divorce she wanted and let her have the custody of her child. It was a hard process, given that she had left the child with her husband. But as her facts claimed, Mr. Kim had been very irresponsible in the past few years and had seldom spent attention on his family but had been busy with his work. It was a good reason to file a divorce, but her husband refused to agree with her facts. I’m inexperienced but in my opinion, a woman should be ready to undergo such situations when getting married, especially if the husband is still ready to accept her as his wife. But however, I had no idea of what married life could be.

But when I sat at Deli today, giving her a girls-prep-talk about the divorce of which she was completely worried, especially about the child’s custody, I didn’t give her my real opinion. Instead, I made up a speech out of those I’ve heard at other trials and seen in other lawsuits. She was, for my surprise, fairly satisfied.

“That is a strong reason for a divorce Jiyeon, as a married woman you need love and affection.”  I didn’t see if it was a strong reason, only because it said so in law, I had no idea of love and affection. “The child’s custody will be given for you under the current circumstances, but not unless if he had cared enough of the child during the time you were gone. We’d have to give stronger facts to show his irresponsibility” She nodded at me with tear filled eyes. I suddenly felt arising sympathy in me for her. I patted her hand and consoled her, glad that I won’t encounter any situation of such.   

The trial was only hours away and I sat back watching the people pass by the glass panes of the Deli. Jiyeon had become a close friend of mine by now, and she never hesitated to tell me all about her miserable life. Kim Sung Gyu worked for the Korea Observer, and he was always busy that he never had time to see what was happening around her life. I had some understanding in spite of my experience on divorce trials, but never understood the reason why Jiyeon petitioned. Kim Sung Gyu as I had heard of him seemed to be a very noble man though he didn’t have time to carry on both his married life and his job together. She was suspicious of his late-night work. The fact made me wonder if my mother was suspicious of my all-nighters. I slept at the office in a sleeping bag, mostly on Wednesdays, and my concern was certainly not on the associate who’s in the cubicle next to mine, and who has a likeness towards me. I have no experience as a reporter, but as a Seoul city lawyer, I knew for an employee in the city of Seoul, the work was never done. Nonetheless, there could be, by any reason, something behind the late-nighters without her awareness, and it was not on my concern. If my client didn’t claim anything of such, I saw no reason to find out. However, Jiyeon was exceptionally skeptical. She should have given her husband a chance before coming to such a conclusion in spite of her opinion and doubts, but of course, I had no experience. My opinion cannot be taken into account. I’d just finish up my job and run home and have a good sleep.

When we reached there, the county court was already crowded. Jiyeon was slightly shaking, but her tears were no longer there. I told her to keep the tears for later, when I start taking her testimony in front of the jury. Divorce trials are generally done at county courts, and they are taken into court only if the petitioned party soughed to defense the divorce, like Kim Sung Gyu did. If not, the court will issue something called the decree nisi, and things are done two seconds flat. Just like that. But while the divorce was defended, well, here we’re at the court for a hearing.

As usual, I kept a clean legal pad on the table in front of me, then a gold pen that I got for a birthday from my brother few years back, and leaned back to see how nicely I’ve organized my things. Jiyeon watched me, with a weird look on her face as if to say you are a lawyer for crying out loud and smiled. I nodded and patted her skinny hand which had gone pale in spite of the tension. A few seconds later, after Mr. Kim and their little boy arrived with his lawyer, the lawyer whispering something into his ear, the bailiff announced the arrival of the judge. Then the hearing commenced.

First, the petitioner’s party was taken into account. Jiyeon was called for her testifying, and I went first. Like Jiyeon was supervised, she had her tears ready. That was for the benefit of her (and mine, otherwise my hardships will be worthless) and especially for the custody of the child who looked more like a little devil to me. I started out with the typical, divorce-attorney questions.

            -“How long have you been married Jiyeon?” I asked confidently, after pacing in front of her until she settled herself down.

            -“Five years” She answered as if I never knew.

            -“How old is the child then?”

            -“Four” good age for a brat.

            -“Did your husband take care of him before you left?”

            -“Seldom. He was always busy with his work.”

            -“Did he take care of you during the time you were pregnant?”

            -“Occasionally, but I was on my own most of the time.”

            _”Are you saying that your husband failed to provide the affection you need during the time you most needed it. Is that so Jiyeon?”

            After a few minutes of hesitation, she answered.

            -“Yes”

She was doing perfect.

-“and after the child was born, did he pay enough attention?”

-“He never had enough time, he was hardly at home.”

-“Then where was he? At work?” That was an obvious question which I had to ask.

-“As I’m aware, yes. I know nothing more of his late night work.”

-“Hadn’t he ever told you about work?”

If not, that would be a strong fact. Jiyeon took time to think.

-“Occasionally.” She finally answered. “But hardly about late night work. I’m asleep with the child by the time he comes home, and when I wake up, he’s already gone. We never get a time to talk.”

-“And you’re alone at home most of the time, is that so?”

-“most of the time” she agreed. By the corner of my eye, I saw the petitioned party flinch. Not all of them though. Mr. Kim’s lawyer kept scribbling ceaselessly on his legal pad. Something told me I knew him, but neither his face nor his name clicked. Nor did I care anyway.

-“You were unemployed before you left, is that so?”

-“yes, I was”

-“Your husband lends you the money?”

-“I had a separate bank account; I received money from my father when I got married.”

-“And you only spent from that.”

-“Yes, before I found a job as a receptionist” I felt things were going well.

-“Then you have a steady job.”

-“Yes”

-“Did your husband intend to do any payments for you before you left?”

-“Back when we were newly married, yes, after that, he had no time to see my money inquiries.”

-“What about the child. He intended to do his payments?”

Jiyeon stared at her son for a few long minutes and turned back to me. Her eyes were filled with tears. Things were going very well, just as I expected.

-“Occasionally before I left, but I think they were just a lack of responsibilities.”

-“But you did everything that your husband and child required. Am I right?”

More tears filled her eyes as she answered. “Always”

Then I went for the kill. “Jiyeon, were you ever appreciated for your hardships? Did your husband appreciate your conduct?”

She swallowed and glanced at her husband who sat straight staring at her intently.  The lawyer of the opposite party stopped scribbling and watched the petitioner closely to get a fact.

-“Long ago, he did…after then…he hardly even saw what I was doing”

-“He was too busy to see was he?”

-“Yes”

-I stated the conclusion that I kept ready for the hearing since the day I got my hands on the case.  And I was proud of how it sounded like. “That means Jiyeon hadn’t received the affection that a woman needs for a long time. A job of a mother is hard, and needs an immense amount of affection otherwise it would cause depression, mental instability, so and so. And a husband is the one who must save her from the above mentioned issues.” I eyed the petitioned party and caught the lawyer’s eyes but I still couldn’t remember how I’ve known him. “If the needed affection was not given to a wife, she has every right to file a divorce, in spite of her husband’s unreasonable behavior. A woman’s life depends on the love she receives. If it was not given… a woman cannot be what a man wants her to be…” I concluded in a steady manner and realized that the other lawyer still hadn’t ripped his eyes off me. I glanced at him as grimly as possible, as if to say you all are the same, and turned back to the judge. “My round of questioning is done, sir” I told him. “Thank you, you may be seated.”

Then came to the chance for the other lawyer to start questioning.

Mr. Kim Sung Gyu had been tricky enough to hire a lawyer from the next best law firm of Seoul .Kim & Chang, or the ‘K.Cs’, as we call it, is the major competitor that Bae, Kim & Lee have to wrestle with. The two firms were born rivals, so are all the associates. The firm is possessed with over 450 lawyers from the heart of Seoul, and approximately 200 are recruited under previous experiences. Bae, Kim & Lee on the other hand has nearly 300 legal representatives worldwide and about 175 are employed after reputable previous experiences. Us first year, or junior associates are supposed to do only minor cases for the first few months to show our potentials to the partners before they decide who’s to be assigned on bigger trials. And Kim Myung Soo, as the other lawyer called himself, is one of the junior associates at the ‘K.Cs’ who had been hanged onto a boring divorce matter. The name seemed to click, but I still didn’t remember who he was.

He questioned Jiyeon with an unexpected roughness.

-“You said you had been married to Kim Sung Gyu for five years, isn’t that so?” he asked in a voice, way too deep for his appearance.

-“yes”

Some of the same questions were repeated, and Jiyeon was already in her tears as Myung Soo went for the kill.

-“During the five years of marriage, has your husband ever been involved in adultery Mrs. Kim?” I noticed how he said Mrs. Kim instead of Jiyeon, as if to say, you are still a Kim. I quickly jotted down on my legal pad.

 I watched Jiyeon’s face as she shook her head. “No”

-“Or has he been unfaithful?”

Jiyeon shook her head. “No”

Myung Soo was rough that I was ready to pull off my Prada heel to throw it at his nice face to save my client.

-“Has he ever physically abused you Mrs.  Kim?”

-“No” she was in tears.

-“Or has he been verbally abusive to you?”

The answer was no. The case was going out of hand, and I was impressed that Myung Soo was good at defending his client.

-“He only failed to provide affection and attention as you assume, am I right?”

-“Yes” she said with a nod, and I was about to sigh with relief when Myung Soo exploded and I dropped my pen flabbergasted.

“Then who looked after you without any hesitation even after you was caught being unfaithful Mrs.  Kim? Who?”

I did everything to hide that of my client but obviously the defendant’s side was aware of the fact. I was even more impressed of how he broke the fact of Jiyeon being so innocent, I wasn’t happy with that either.

Jiyeon gave no answer.

“Who the hell did Mrs. Kim?!?”

“Objection” I stood up for my client’s defense.

“Please mind your language Mr. Kim” said the judge, but Myung Soo ignored us both and carried on.

“Wasn’t that your husband Mrs. Kim? Every time you got sick he took hold of the child, and you say he never looked after the child, and you said you received money from your father when you married but you only received 200,000,000 wons the rest was from your husband did you ever know that?”

Jiyeon shook her head and started crying. I was about to stand up for my client when Myung Soo blasted again.

“You say he’s never at home, but when he comes home at nights after hard work to find money to fill your debts, you’re already in bed without even kissing him good night, now who was not being affectionate if he always wished you good night that you did not?”

“Objection” I said after I found my voice, but Myung Soo held his palm up. And continued. He gestured his hand at Mr. Kim’s direction and said; “That man, your husband did everything for you, Mrs. Kim, he let you live in the way you wanted to. Have you ever known why he had been that busy lately? That was earning for you and the child, of all the things, none of us see a reason for a divorce here for Christ sake!”

“Objection” I said again with my temper rising. Now I really could throw my Prada at his face. “Objection sir, Kim Myung Soo is not questioning my client he’s giving his opinion, he’s motivating my client” I said to the judge but Myung Soo never stopped.

“You deserted your husband and child with no specific reason and Mr. Kim had his chance to file a divorce but he did not, you were unfaithful to him and committed adultery but even after he found that out did he file a divorce? Did he Mrs. Kim? No, because he needed no divorce, isn’t that enough of love and affection for you?”

Jiyeon was crying harder and the whole court was in utter silence. Mr. Kim’s face was red and screwed as if he was about to cry too. His hand was around his son and his lips were on the boys head. The scene was heart filling and made me wonder why I was defending the client who filed a divorce because she had no idea what her husband was going through for her. I wondered how doubt and suspicion could lead to major chaos. Was this how the life is supposed to be? Was it how the married life supposed to be? Fights and doubts and suspicion, children suffering crushed-by and pulled-towards the both sides? If so, what is the meaning of such a marriage? Isn’t marriage all about love and the affection for each other? Holding hands together and going through the challenges together as one, being one no matter what? If not, what is it then? A signed paper and lots of troubles, is it?  I had no idea of love and affection, that I’ve only received from my mother, and had no idea how it is like between a man and a woman, but looking at around the world, I knew the bond was strong, different, beautiful, and never ending. Probably something I would never encounter with. But those who have, why do they want to ruin the beauty? Isn’t it like pulling the petals of a rose until there is nothing left? Why would anyone want to do that other than indulging themselves with the pleasure of it? Feeling the beauty of everlasting love? Isn’t that what is important? Not just what you think and what you doubt? There is always something beautiful behind what you consider as bad. You have to live with it until it is revealed, or else you will be too late. Maybe that’s what I’ve been missing in my life.

Jiyeon’s great big sobs were what which brought me back to the real world at the court, and as I looked at the hearing in the process, every eye was focused on me. I blushed, realizing I’ve been thinking about something that I never have. And noticed-I can’t believe I did because I never do-how beautiful the man standing in front of me looked, and something just clicked. Yes, I did know him, but how? Was this it then?

No, I can’t let anything distract me, not even if the distraction was right there in the silent courtroom. I had a client to protect.

I swiftly stood up and went to Jiyeon who was crying harder than ever, her eyes glancing at her husband and son after every sob, and Myung Soo seemed to have had enough. The boy and his father were in their worst stage, both ready to cry, and the judge looked bewildered, can’t blame the old man, and I rubbed Jiyeon’s shoulder and confidently eyed Myung Soo. “That’s enough” I told him as Jiyeon buried her face against me. Myung Soo must’ve been a good boy to his mother that he nodded after staring at me and Jiyeon too long, and backed away. “That is all I have sir” he muttered loud enough so the whole court heard him and turned back to the defendants table when suddenly-

“No, Wait” a shaking voice muttered and my hand stopped on Jiyeon’s shoulder. I pulled it back, and soon she was on her feet. Myung Soo was side tracked and stood still with surprise. She was done testifying and he was done questioning her, and it was my turn to question her husband, what else did she have to say?

“I think you’re right”

Okay, now I’m the bad guy.  Myung Soo turned to her, his eyes filled with uncertainty. I could now guess what he was thinking; Am I hearing right?

“I…I’ve been all wrong about him…” She said not eyeing her family but Myung Soo.

“All these days…I’ve been a fool to not to see how wrong I’ve been …Sung Gyu…he…he had always loved me, now I know…I’ve been too much of a fool to not realize that…he had…” She was stronger now that I let go of her arm that I was clutching and Myung Soo, who had turned red as if he was Mr. Kim Sung Gyu, turned to me and his mouth opened to say something but while we were still in the court, he didn’t. And sat back on his chair at the petitioned party. I followed him and moved to my place, leaving the rest to Jiyeon and her husband.

Maybe things could change. In an unbelievable way, in a way that you never expected it to happen. Maybe it could be the turning point of your whole life, the point where your life really starts. Maybe it was the turning point of Jiyeon’s married life, the turning point of Sung Gyu’s and the child’s. How wonderful the life could be…? You wake up in the morning realizing that you’re about to lose everything, and then someone tell you that you shouldn’t have to because you still have it but you’re the one who’s trying to lose it, soon you see your mistakes and amend them, then everything is all right, as if nothing had ever been wrong. And where things turn, where you realize your mistakes…a court? A court where many lose what they own? Their lives, their loved ones, their property and things they’ve taken care of for a long time that they don’t even remember since when? And I was there, the very court, the court that seemed bright and wonderful than ever before, witnessing the most beautiful thing that could ever happen in a court. The lovely reunion of a broken family. The end of tears and sorrow and the times they’d sit and moan for the lost love and happiness. The beginning of a new life. How lucky am I to witness such beauty? You’d go and stand on the top of the Namsam tower and say the sunset was ever breathtaking, but here, the very moment as I sat in the court and watched the starting of a new life of a once-moaned woman, was far more breathtaking. It was a moment that I will never forget.

Once I came back to the real world, I was witnessing the return of happiness between a man and a woman, the rejoining of a lovely bond. Jiyeon was crying into her husband’s chest, mumbling ‘I’m sorry’ over and over again, and her son stood huddled between his mother and father. Mr. Kim or Sung Gyu-ssi, as I more intended to call him, had his face buried into his wife’s hair with tears rolling down his cheeks. This was wonder, a beauty. Then this was love that I had never been through. This was the life that I should find. I was a woman after all, and hadn’t I said a woman’s life depends on the love that she receives? Then if I receive no love, have I got a life? Yes, I do. But it makes no sense. Just money and time. That was all that were real for me. I wake up every morning to the same day to the same work and the same life. Days go by, I get old, but my life had always been the same, and I knew nothing. I never knew the reason why people cry when they lose their loved ones because when I did, even then I knew nothing. I never knew why couples dine in fancy restaurants staring at each other’s faces with wonder; they were just clowns for me. All I knew was billing, like mad, like I had nothing else to do. I billed at Deli, in the big black car of which I can’t remember the name, and at the office when I waste time in the den. What have I been all these days? Just a silly little junior associate at a major Seoul law firm? Couldn’t I be something more? Something strong filled with lots of emotion? Just like the woman I saw just now? When will I ever be that?

I sat in my car about an hour later and watched as the crowd filed out of the county court. They were all content, as much as I was. Every face seemed to glow with happiness, witnessing the reunion of the broken family, and I was proud, as I was a part of it. But I was not the one who caused the beauty. Even certain roughness could mean something strong. I wanted the segregation, and he soughed after the reunion. How people’s minds differ from each other’s… Maybe he was more matured, more aware of what life could be. Only which worth for me was the 500, 000 Wons I earned during the hours spent at the trial. Money. Just money.

I watched intently with tear filled eyes as Kim Sung Gyu and Kim Jiyeon walked towards me hand in hand. I quickly shuffled myself out of the car. Jiyeon flashed me a huge smile, the smile I saw only on her wedding photo, so did Sung Gyu, and the little boy was huddled between his parents again. I smiled and bent down to touch the little boy’s cheek. I felt a sudden affection towards him and wondered why I ever hated the lovely child. He had the same resemblance of his father.

-“How could we thank you Bae Suji-ssi? It was such a …” Jiyeon started. I cut off what she was about to say, because I knew I had done nothing for their gain.

-“Oh, thank you…and I can’t explain how happy I am for you…it was wonderful…” I had no idea how else to put it. “But I don’t see if I had done any help…it was all you…”

Sung Gyu leaned over and kept a hand on my shoulder. “Look, Suji-ssi, if you didn’t show me what I hadn’t done for her…things would have never changed. And now, you have…I changed…be proud of what you have done…”

I nodded, feeling tears sting my eyes at his brotherly words. Jiyeon took my hand. “You were a sister that I’ve never had…I don’t know how I should thank you for all you did for me.”

The little boy my free hand, and I was delighted by the little touch. “You don’t have to…because you already have. I think…I think your little reunion have changed my whole life…thank you…”

I was hugged by a very content Jiyeon before I watched the little family leave waving me good bye. Now I soughed for a real life. The time that I’d leave a beautiful place hand in hand with the one I loved.

“Well that went well didn’t it?” A deep voice said from behind me and my heart skipped a beat.

 “Bae Suji? Oh come on, you couldn’t have forgotten me already!” He said when I made no response. Of course not. But only I didn’t remember from where I knew him. I turned around to the tall but beautiful figure of Kim Myung Soo, and I smiled because I didn’t know what to say. His harshness against my client made me think he had forgotten me too. Not that I remembered who exactly he was, at least I knew that I knew him from somewhere.

“I was there with you at Kyeonghee remember? You were the weird…nerd girl and I was, well…a college heart-throb?” I was surprised at how much his tone had changed from the roughness that he had before.

I laughed and eyed him, and I realized how short I was. I should move from pumps to platforms. “Yeah…I remember you all right…but I didn’t know you remembered me? And my name?” I chuckled “How come you know my name?”

This time it was him who laughed. “Well I kept an eye on the girls then...particularly”

A long pause as we both tried to find words to say, and we both talked at the same time, a moment of embarrassment. Ah, well…maybe that’s how those things start.

“Well I was-.” Said Myung Soo

“Are you-?” I said and we both stopped.

He chuckled and said “You go on Suji-ssi”

I invited him to go first.

“-Well I was wondering if…if you were free…tonight…so that…”

“-So that?”

“So that we could go out for dinner…and you know…talk about college, firms…”

“Wait” I stopped him with a palm held out. He paused with his eyes wide. “Aren’t we supposed to hate each other? I mean, you’re a K.Cs and I’m a Bae and…”

He raised his eyebrows which stopped me talking. “Just because the firms hate each other, do you think we have to do so too?”

I smiled. Then this was it. Maybe I had a life.

“-Tonight?” he asked.

“-well…” I made a thoughtful face “I was hoping to do an all-nighter…or, well…maybe not…I’m more willing to have a nice day off…”

“-great. Tonight…Any specific place?”

“-You choose”

“-Let’s pick somewhere random”

“Somewhere random” I nodded and smiled. His eyes met mine. And they were beautiful, dark and gentle. He had been right about himself being a college-heart-throb. Because he looked good enough to be so. He stared at me as if he wanted me to say something, I waited him to start. It was one of those awkward moments that I had seen on soap operas, I never knew it happens for real. It was weird to encounter such situations. Finally, he gave up and spoke after making a move towards me.

“You said a woman’s life depended on love…” He said in a low voice that only I could hear. And I now knew that it was meant only for me. “Is that term counted on you too?”

I couldn’t help it so I laughed.

“Yes…I guess it does…” I told him, and I looked up at the court of wonders where my whole life changed.  Where any life could change.