Kris stayed at the corner of the cemetry as he watched his girlfriend sob over his dead body. He watched her hiccup from crying too much while trying to make her speech. He watched as his friends and family held her back as the coffin was being buried. He watched his best friend’s look of affection and heartbreak as she cried on his shoulder. Kris wanted so badly to hug her and kiss her tears away. But all he could do was watch. Even if he stood next to her, she wouldn’t be able to see him. He was gone, out of her reach.

            Kris watched his best friends hold back their tears as they walked into the car when the funeral ended. It hurt so much seeing everyone he cared about in pain. Especially her. He followed them and could still hear her sniffling when she got home, with Baekhyun & Yixing accompanying her. They all plopped on the couch, emotionless. For once, he felt out of place. This tense atmosphere was caused by him. But what could he have done? It’s not like he could liven up the atmosphere.

            “He’s gone. He really is gone.” Kris’ heart felt like it was being torn into pieces, hearing her barely audible whisper. A little ironic considering Kris doesn’t exactly have a beating heart right now.  She burst into tears as she buried her face into her palms. Kris instinctively rushed towards her, hoping to be able to cradle her until she stops crying. He halted to a stop when he saw Yixing’s arms wrap around her. She sobbed even louder and soaked his t-shirt with tears. Kris’ felt a tint of hope when he heard her say, “It feels like he’s still here though. It feels like he came back to prove to me that he loves me.”

            He wanted to just go up and hug her. He wanted to scream, “I love you!” Deep down inside, he knew he couldn’t do much to prove it if she couldn’t even see him. He promised to protect her but how could he do it if he couldn’t even protect himself when he was alive? With careful steps, or floats, Kris sighed as he plopped himself on an empty seat beside Baekhyun. Baekhyun was oblivious to the fact that his best friend was right next to him, because all he felt was a rush of wind. He was in such deep thoughts he didn’t realize Baekhyun and Yixing were getting ready to leave her house.  He finally came to a decision to stay with her until it’s time for him to leave.

            That very night, he watched her cry herself to sleep. It hurt him so much seeing her like this, watching her suffer because of him. He wanted to cuddle like they always did and give her a breathtaking kiss, like they used to. But even if he did that, it’ll just be like wind. She wouldn’t know it’s him but she’d feel it, which would probably creep her out at a time like this. He didn’t know how long more he could handle holding back his urges, so he decided to roam the house. He went to the living room where there were little photo frames. Kris smiled to himself when he saw the photo of them when they first met. They looked awkward in the picture but anyone could tell they were attracted to each other.

            Kris watched as she walked into the classroom with a pokerface. She was the new transfer student while he was the student council of the class. The teacher told him that he would be giving the new student a tour and was ecstastic when he saw a pretty girl walk in the class. She introduced herself before making her way to he empty seat next to Kris. Shy smiles were exchanged between them.

            The bell rang, indicating that it was time for break. Everyone started heading to the cafeteria.

            “Hi, my name’s Kris Wu. I’m the student council and I’ll be your buddy for the week. Feel free to throw me questions if you need to.” He grinned at her.

            “Nice to meet you, Kris. My name’s –“ she shook his hand but got interrupted when the school photographer approached the both of them.

            “Hi, I’m Yixing and I need a photo of you both.” He introduced. She gave him a weird look. He smiled, showing a dimple. He then explained a very long explanation that goes along the line of, “It’s for the school magazine. To promote communication between students or something.”

            Kris awkwardly wrapped his arm around her shoulder and stole a glance at her. He smiled and the picture was taken. It was this moment that was the start of a beautiful friendship between the three aquaintances.

            Before he knew it, it was morning already. He decided to follow her to work. Anyone could’ve seen her lack of energy when she was walking. Yixing picked her up and drove her to her workplace. Kris could tell that Yixing genuinely cared for her when he saw the amount of worry plastered on his face, but he just couldn’t accept the fact that another man would be with her. She insisted everything was fine. When she got into the office, Kris followed closely behind; worried that he might lose sight of her.

            “Hey, how’re you doing? I’m so sorry for your loss.” she gave a small smile when Jongin, her closest colleague, greeted her with a hug. She responded by giving him a small smile and hugging him back tightly. Kris remembered him. Jongin lead him to her office cubical when he came to bring her lunch on her first day of work. They’ve bonded everytime he would come and bring her lunch.

            He admired her beauty as he watched her work. At least try to work. He could tell that her mind was occupied with other things. He wanted to give her the motivation and tried to think of what he could do. He grinned to himself when he saw the post-it notes in front of her desk. His grin turned into a playful annoyed look when he saw that she accidentally stuck a post-it note above the one he wrote. It was already about to fall off. Kris suddenly rushed past her cubical. As expected, it surprised her but she was caught off guard when she saw the post-it note that reminded her of him. She slightly smiled to herself, reminicsing about the past.

            D-3. She called her office and applied for an emergency leave. She just didn’t feel like meeting anyone. She wanted to just stay at home and indulge herself in ice-cream and movies. She had a blanket wrapped around her, while she held onto a tub of ice-cream. She watched comedies, chick-flicks and every kind of movie available. Kris sat at the sofa next to her the whole time. If this were the closest feeling he’d to being able to touch her, he’d accept it. He admired how adorable she looked. He smiled when she saw her laugh. His fought the urge to hug her when he saw her cry. That was how he spent his day. How they spent their day.

            D-2. Kris watched as she met up with Yixing to have lunch together. He couldn’t help but feel a little jealous. Nevertheless, he still tagged along because he missed the three of them hanging out together. He walked with them just like the old times in high school.  Kris waited outside their regular coffee shop while they both ate in there. He didn’t want to go in because he just couldn’t bear watching them together without feeling a single hint of jealousy.

            Yixing and her had lunch in the coffee shop before Kris heard them deciding to take a walk before they head back to work. They walked to the Han River and Kris started reminiscing about when they had a date.

            “Guess who?” Kris smiled when he felt someone cover his eyes.

            “Hmmm, I wonder who’s hands these are. So rough.” Kris jokingly remarked. He felt her hands liften from his eyes as she harrumphed, frustrated. Kris watched her sit down next to him, facing the opposite direction. He walked over to the opposite direction and sat there.

            “Baby, I was joking. Don’t get angry. Your hands are beautiful, you are beautiful.” Kris said, comforting her and kissing her lightly on her lips. She was a stubborn one though, she didn’t even budge. Kris continued to lightly peck her lips, pulling back to see if he was forgiven. She slowly gave in as she smiled and kissed him back. He chuckled before whispering, “I’m forgiven.”

            She smiled and turned her body so they were now both facing the river. She leaned on his shoulder and he rested his chin on her head. It was comfortable for them. Everything fit like a puzzle piece. They started talking about each other’s day and the conversation went on until the sun started setting.

            Kris watched the both of them make their way to a bench. She sat down and stared blankly into space. Yixing realized it and gave her some time to process everything. A tear rolled down her cheek unknowingly. Kris went forward and bent forward, wanting to wipe away her tears. Yixing was a step faster; he used a tissue and wiped off the tear. But as he wiped, more tears flowed down her cheeks and she started sobbing. Yixing gently pushed her head toward his shoulder as she just cried her eyes out until she fell asleep. Yixing stared into space, waiting for her to wake up. Kris watched from afar. He never thought he would see her do that on another man's shoulders. Then, he saw her shiver. However, Yixing being the blurcase he is didn’t realize it.

            An idea came into Kris’ head. He floated past Yixing extremely quickly. Yixing looked around when he felt a sudden gush of wind hit him. He immediately diverted his attention to her and saw her shivering. He took off his jacket and gently placed it over her. She snuggled closer to him when she felt warmth. Kris smiled painfully, knowing this was the most he could do. He could only indirectly care for her.

            D-1. Kris knew he only had one last day to spend with her. Knowing that she left for work in the morning, he went off to his parents’ home to see them for one last time. When he got there, he saw his mother watering the plants and his father reading the newpaper at the balcony. As he went closer to them, his mother’s eyebags became more prominent. He could see that his father’s wrinkles were not his normal happy ones. A wave of guilt washed over him when he thought of the reason why they were like this. He loved them both dearly. He missed them so much. He remembered when she’d always tell him to hurry up or he’ll be late for work. He remembered his mother’s expression when he brought his first girlfriend home. He remembered being punished by his father when he was younger. He remembered running around the garden and just playing by himself. He didn’t have any siblings so his mother would devote most of her free time just trying to keep up with her active son.

            “Goodbye, mom, dad. I love you both so much. I’m so sorry you had to go through so much pain because of me.” He said it sincerely. He looked around the neighbourhood before reluctantly leaving.

            When he got back to her house, he saw her sitting at a cabinet next to her study table. She was looking at an album intensely. Her eyes were practically glued onto to them. Kris went closer and he realized that she was looking through the scrapbook she had made for him on his birthday a few years back. It used to be in Kris’ bedroom but she asked it back on the day he left. She was holding back tears as she flipped through their high school memories. He was next to her the whole time. It was like they were both flipping through their memories. It was hurting both of them like hell. Eventhough she could not see him, Kris felt content enough just being able to spend this moment with her.

             D-Day. Kris felt anxious. He didn’t know when was the last time he could see her. He wanted to see her smile before he left, and he wasn’t sure if he could at all. He was worried they’d take him away before he could see his angel smile.

            He still didn’t give up hope. He still followed her, knowing he could disappear from the face of the earth any time soon. She met up with Yixing again to take a walk at the park. This time, Kris just couldn’t feel anything anymore. He wasn’t jealous, but he was ecstastic either.

            They took a walk around the park until they got tired. They found a bench to sit on. Kris sat the very corner of it, wanting to be a part of the moment although he physically isn’t a part of it. She looked up at the trees and at the children playing at the park. Kris heard her whisper to herself, “if you were still here, those might be our kids in their place right now.” This would probably be the nth time that he felt like his heart ached, except this time it’s much worse. It felt like someone stabbed him in the heart.

            Yixing had heard her. He felt his hopes sink and hit rock bottom. But he saw her beautiful face and just felt the urge to release everything. He did, just not how he planned it to be.

            “I like you. A lot.” He blurted. Kris was taken aback by his impromptu and sudden confession. This wasn’t the Yixing he knew. The one he knew may have been blur but he was a very well-planned and organised person. Not only that, she was surprised too. went ajar and she was speechless. All the 3 of them could hear were dry leaves rustling and the occasional dangling dog chains sounds.

            “What?” she asked.

            “I like you.” Yixing repeated. It was too much for her to take. Kris watched as she mumbled something about being busy and stood up from her seat. He followed suit, hoping to follow her wherever she went.

            However, Yixing grabbed onto her wrist, making sure she wouldn’t leave. “No, please. It hurts me seeing you like this. I know you still love Kris but give me a chance to prove myself. I will always care for you. Please just open your heart to me. Just this one time.” Yixing practically begged. She looked at him, stunned.

            “No, baby, please don’t accept him. I don’t want to let you go. I can’t give you up” Kris whispered to no one in particular, his voice fading slowly towards the end.

            “Answer me.” Yixing asked after a while as the silence was too much for him to bear. The silence was driving Kris insane too. She hesitated.

            “Yes, Yixing. I’ll give you a chance” The words he dreaded to hear slipped out of . Shock was written on Yixing’s face before he let out sigh of relief. She smiled as she looked up at him. Kris felt the time stop when she smiled. It’s been days since he has seen that angelic smile. He watched as he saw Yixing gently kiss her forehead and pulled back to smile at her affectionately. For the first time since his funeral, he saw her smile. It was the same smile that made him so in love with her. Her smile never changed. Even though she looked wary, she still looked beautiful as ever.

            “Ge, if you can hear me. I promise you I’ll take good care of her.” And that made it all the harder to let her go.  It broke Kris to pieces. It felt like he was officially handing something that was so dearly to him away, without even being able to have a say in it. For that moment, he hated fate for being so cruel to him, but he knew he had to accept it. He could feel tears wetting his cheeks. He backed away from the couple as he reluctantly nodded in approval.

            “I will always love you.” Kris whispered. He felt himself being carried away by the wind, going endlessly.

            And if she had known about his presence, she would’ve known what Kris’ sign of love sitting on the bench next to her, meant.  

author's note:

Hai, readers :)

This is my first shot at writing a tragic one-shot. 

Hopefully it didn't turn out too bad. 

Here's some y after all the sadness ♥

Please comment, rate, upvote & subscribe :3

And if you have any questions, follow me on twitter or just ask directly at my ask.fm (: 

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Thank you for your time.

-lynn ♥