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The beginning was coincidental for us. When I bumped into you for the first time, I was mesmerized by your charming gaze, but that didn’t last too long. Five seconds after that beautiful scene, the way you looked at me sent shivers down my spine. And it wasn’t a pleasant look.

 

At first, I didn’t know that this was going to be love, it just crept up on me.

 

I can’t believe that a few months ago, I thought you were biggest jerk. I thought, “You don’t know how to treat women.” I guess love always comes like fate, because I didn’t expect this for sure.

 

But, now I know. You’ve shielded yourself from this cruel world, completely covered in this hard shell. What would it take to crack open that shell and show the world that underneath the handsome face, an amiable human being is living and breathing?

 

I don’t know what changed my perspective of you. It could’ve been the first time you took me to school after crashing into me. Or it could’ve been the time you dragged me out of a fight. It couldn’t have been the time you gave me a flower from one of your fan girls, because that hurt. It must have been that first accidental kiss. The way you pulled me in. I know you weren’t in your right senses, but I couldn’t help myself from enjoying every moment. Your eyes may have been too blurry from the tears rolling down your cheeks but your warm hands on my shoulders gave me confidence.

 

There have been several instances where you have proved yourself to be worthy of your popularity.

 

After seeing how you left your band mid-performance to take care of your mother, I realized just how thoughtful you were. I was melted by your sweet love. All along it was there, I just failed to see through you. I feel dirty for doubting your personality. For thinking you were a rotten human being, I’m sorry.

 

I know I’ve caused you a lot of discomfort. Now, you won’t have to worry. I’m going. I’m leaving this treacherous place. I won’t be getting in your way.

 

I don’t how to say this, but…, “You have done a lot for me, and I’m grateful, beyond words.” I don’t think I can continue, but I can’t leave without saying goodbye.

 

So, selfishly, for myself I must continue. “I’m leaving. For the US. I got a scholarship, and I won’t be coming back until I become a household name.” I spoke in broken sentences.

 

“Oh…I see.” What is this? Why do you sound hurt. Are you, by any chance, disappointed? “Good luck,” you say anyway.

 

“Thanks. Your words are encouraging. I’ll treasure them…and, I’ll miss you.” I don’t know if I should’ve said that last part but if not now, then I’ll never get the chance.Whenever I close my eyes, your face keeps appearing. How am I supposed to deal with that? I have to tell you.

 

“You’re not going to come visit?” Do you want me to? Are you saying that you’ll miss me too? If you’ve got something to say, say it now. Although, I somewhat wish you wouldn’t say anything that would make me regret my decision. I want to come back a better person. I want to make you fall in love with a girl worth loving and living for.

 

“Will you wait for me?” Your face was expressionless, until now. You look like you heard something outrageous. Is the thought of making you wait too selfish?

 

And your response, “So, I guess this is goodbye?” For now. And you almost give me heart attack when you hug me tight. So I guess this really is goodbye. “Well, I will.” I guess not. “As long as it takes.”

 

I don’t know this feeling. It’s warm and fuzzy. When I see your face, I can’t help but smile. And now, when you’re holding me in your arms, I feel like I’m suffocating. You’ve showered me with more affection than I can handle. And when you let go, I wish that I suffocated a little longer. Even if the moment passes by, I’ll love you forever.

 

Once I step back, I feel like I need to leave soon…I can’t stand this feeling of leaving you. If I stay any longer, I just might cry…and I don’t want that to be our last memory together. And so I start walking away, but not before giving you one of my biggest smiles.

 

You, yourself, told me not to fall for you. I should’ve listened to you. You said you weren’t right for me. You said you wouldn’t be able to keep me happy. But, what was the point of giving me a warning after I had completely given up on pushing away these feelings, after I engraved your name onto my heart? It’s far too late now, there’s no helping it. I’ve fallen for you.

 

I turned around to bid farewell, but instead I ended up saying, “This isn’t the end Jung Yonghwa. I’ll be back. And I will make you fall for me.” I waved for the last time.

 

“You won’t have to worry about that!” You shouted after me. Is that your way of telling me not to go? “Min Sunye, I’ve already fallen for you.” Did I hear that correctly? Is my heart deceiving me? Am I that desperate? I just want to get a glimpse of your face now. How come you look so serious? And happy too? Did you really say that just now? After I see your eyes, I know I’ve fallen for you. I promise I’ll come back.

 

“Please, only look at me until then if that’s really how you feel.”

 

“I’m looking forward to the day you come back. I promise to be the person you want to fall in love with.” You want to change yourself? For me? I want you to stay the same. I fell for this Yonghwa. What if I don’t like the new one?

 

“Don’t worry about changing yourself. Like I said, I’ve already fallen for you.”

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Lovely poster by xRiChan @soompi