To the dearest SL, where your heart lies.

Remain joyful and always remember to bring an umbrella!

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I never liked the rain.

We are busy with our everyday lives that we never have the opportunity to carry an umbrella with us. Maybe its just me, but that’s the reality. Everyday we are stuck in offices. I would look at the rain pouring out of my window near my desk.

Pit. Pat.

The rain relentlessly hitting on my window, drumming to the beat of a funeral elegy. It sickens me. He always showed up with a cup of Americano in his hands. Telling me how much I needed it. He knows my hatred for rainy days. Underneath this gloom cover hanging overhead, his smile warms me up.

Warmth. It felt good just to be with him.

His eyes glimmering as he told me a terrible joke. His laughs resonating to the beat of my heart. His hair glowed in his situation. It’s hard to admit, but I’m terribly in love with my boss, Kris Wu. We started seeing each other, he being by my side the second the sky gets dark. He was a flame I’m desperately holding on to. He was my light. He proposed to me 2 years later and we had planned a wedding in 2 months. It felt remarkable. It was spring, so the probability of rain coming down on us was close to zero. I never felt so happy, to have no rain and have him instead.

A week before the wedding and I had planned to send the invitation and plane tickets to my parents, inviting them to our wedding. Kris suggested that we should go together so we can have Americano at our favourite cafe.

It was bad luck that it had rained. Kris pulled out an umbrella in my bag, some kind of habit he is making me do. We only had an umbrella and the mail box was across the road. I told him I would go by myself while he waits for me at the cafe. He refused. He took the letter and umbrella out of my hands instead and told me to wait here.

Wrong choice.

The rain was pouring heavily. It was so strong you could barely see anything in your path. Walking across the road is like doing to your death. I grabbed his sleeve, telling him not no. He smiled and pat my head, telling me it will be fine. He kissed my on my lips, the sweetest kiss I had ever tasted. It was as if life wanted to play a game with me.

He turned and walked across the road.

I never liked the rain. I hate it.

Screeching of car tires. Bang. A scream. Everything just went down. I couldn’t feel my throat as I went screaming. My body was numbed. The rain continued plummeting down on me, as if it is trying to remove the evidence of its crime.
Blood. It was everywhere. His golden locks now tainted in red. His eyes had lost it’s glimmer. His body was so cold. But the smile remained on his face, the ghost of his last words remained.

I love you, so much.

I never liked the rain. In fact, I detest it. 

Because of it, I'm wearing black instead of white. Because of it, I'm giving flowers instead of throwing it. Because of it, I'm wearing a veil to conceal my face from others instead of him. Because of it, I'm writing a speech for the passing instead of our receiving of love. Because of it, I'm kissing him goodbye.

I never liked the rain. Because I can never see him anymore. It reminded me of the times we had. It reminded me of him.

I hate the rain. I can hear the ghost of his laugther lingering whenever it does.  The rain falls like the eulogy I've made. The rain falls and it reminded me of the warmth that I've lost. The rain falls and it reminded me of the cremating of his body.

When the rain falls, so does the petals of the white rose that was placed against the marble. When it falls, so do I.