Today, I saw him standing on podium with calm face. But I knew for sure, he’s nervous now. How could I know? Because I could see he almost every time his lips, haha. Together with him for 2 years 7 months, made me quite understood his unique habit. He opened a paper and looked around to the other graduates, ah .. no.. no.. i could see his eyes looking for me and when our eyes met he smiled, while I just nodded and rose my left hand. He bowed to the rector and professors first, then started his speech.

Did you know what I like about you, Hyesung-ah? The answer was when you made a sound, whether it's you're just talking, speech, or humming. I did love your voice. The voice that gave me peace, warm and comfort feeling..

Looking at him now, got me back to the memory of the summer, two years ago.

-Flashback

I was walking out the gate to the nearest bus stop. Today, Seoul is extremely hot that made me wanted to got home as soon as possible. I already asked my dad bought me the motorcycle, but he just too stone headed and refused as he always told me to live simply and felt the difficulty first before having fun with my own effort. Tsk, what a cruel father he is!

                " WATCH OUT!!!" I heard a scream from behind and without I could turn around to knew what’s wrong, I felt my body was hit by something and made ​​me fell down facing the ground! Oh ! My nose hurt like hell! Aish!! If my nose broke, then my mom couldn’t brag my good looks anymore to her friend! I tried to get up and ready to scolded who dare to gave me this pain.

                " Enghhh ... " I heard groan came from the boy who also fell down facing the ground in front of me. But, his condition was worse than me because the bike that he used pressed his thin body. This boy tried to get up but it looked like he had a little trouble. I immediately lifted his bike and helped him up. I could see the scars and blisters on his cheeks, arms and legs, and yes.. it’s made me cringe.

                " Ouch ! It's hurt .... " I found myself holding his blisters hand and immediately i loose my grip. This boy could stood up now but his face told me that he was holding back the pain. He looked at me and second later he bowed his head.

                "I'm sorry! I didn’t know if my bike brake was broken!"

                His suddenly action startled me and let me dumbfounded for awhile as i looked at his eyes were full of regret. My thought about scolded him before suddenly disappeared when I saw a pair of brown eyes looking at me now, teary eyes. Did he want to cry? Did he was in pain so much?

                "You ... are you okay?" I asked him, worried.

                He looked at me blankly and then bit his bottom lip, " ... Actually ... I can’t feel my left hand ... it .. can’t move .. What to do… " his voice trembled and my eyes immediately widened to heard that.

                " What??! Hey! This is serious! We have to go to hospital now!" Oh yes, I didn’t know why but I was panicked, especially when this boy bowed and his shoulders shaking. Was he crying now?

Luckily, taxi passing in front of us and I immediately stopped it.

`               " Hey, we should go to the hospital! Hurry!"

The boy nodded slowly and got into taxi. I asked the driver took us to the nearest hospital as soon as possible.

On the way I heard this boy hissed, hold the pain. I didn’t know what to do and I just patted his shoulder softly, while occasionally rubbed his back. Well ... I did it because my mom always did this to me when I fell down and cried.

We not let a single out from our mouth, yes.. until we arrived to the hospital.

**

Two days later

I was in my class, waiting for lecturer to came and yawn. Ahh .. I hate morning class. Suddenly, a small yet slender figured appeared in front of me and when I lifted my head, I saw the boy who hit me two days ago, smiling to me.

                " Hi.." he said softly

I blinked my eyes for a second before answered his call, " H - hi .. ". My gaze turned from his face and fixed on his bandaged left hand.

                " Your hand?" I said, pointing to his left hand.

                " Oh this? Doctor said it’s cracked little, take one month to be heal" he said, smiled, and occasionally his lips.

                " Oh .. yeah ... um .. you .. are you in this class?" I might be sound stupid, but I didn’t know anyone in this class especially when our classmates and classes often moved. And…hey ! This was my second year in university! It’s not big deal to not knew all your university friends right??

                "No. .. I was in another class, and this morning I saw you got into this class. Never expect we are in same major"

                " Yeah .. this world is small, eh?" I chuckled

                "By the way my name is Hyesung, Shin Hyesung. You?"

                "Eric"

and I see frown on his forehead.

                "Well .. actually my name is Mun Junghyuk, but I'd prefer to be called Eric. Does it sound cool, eh?” I grinned widely, because yes! I knew this name was cool, hahaha.

He chuckled softly and somehow made me felt a strange sensation in my stomach.

                "Ah .. I'm still not completely apologize about what happened two days ago. I'm sorry, Eric - ssi" the boy who named Hyesung, bowed his head and made ​​me feel uncomfortable

                " He- hey .. Hyesung-ssi , stop .. you make me embarrassed. Never mind .. it's not your fault anyway.."

Hyesung lifted his head and smiled prettily. And at that moment I felt another strange sensation of my body and made my heart stopped beating for a moment.

                "Thank you Eric-ssi . But .. are you hurt? The plaster on your nose ... is your nose broken?"

                " Oh this? Hahaha! Of course not! Just a little cut and isn’t it looks cool, eh? Has plaster on my nose? Like a gangster, hahaha"

                Hyesung chuckled again, "That's not cool ... it's outdated!"

                I snorted, " and see what's in your cheek? a large plaster makes you look pathetic! "

                " At least I choose to look pathetic than outdated, hahaha"             

We giggling together as if we just old friend that for long time not saw each other..

End Flashback-

Since that day, I couldn’t take my mind from his smiling face every night, and that beautiful laugh always made me felt warm inside my heart.

I looked back at Hyesung who speaking right now. Well .. this guy was something.. he’s great! He's the best graduate from our university and became representative of the graduates to gave a speech. I was bit jealous to him, but I also felt very proud of him. yeah.. just like that day…

Flashback -

                " Yaaahh! What the hell are you? Just week ago you won gold medal of taekwondo championship and now you became the best attorney role in court competition? I am lost for words for you Shin Hyesung .. you’re really like comet ! wusshhh ! " I said as I drank a glass of soju in front of me.

                " Hahaha ... It’s nothing Eric-ah .. It just coincidence" he said quietly and pour me soju in my glass.

                " Coincidence? you are like God! Like your name! Shin! Hahaha! Anyway, thanks for your treat today " I said and raised my glass to made a toast to him.

                " It's nothing, I should treat you in better place, Eric-ah" he gulped his soju.

                "Better? Hey .. this is the best! VIP room and with a large portion of sashimi is more than enough!"

                " Really? Then thank God .... hahaha " he said and poured another soju in his glass.

That night we were talking and chattering happily to celebrate his victory. Unfortunately, this kid did not know his alcohol limit and now sleeping with red face. I saw his face that partially covered by his hair. His mouth was slightly open. Perhaps he'd say he looked so pathetic now, but .... to be honest ... he looked so cute! Aww… I wanted to pinch his cheeks… could I?

I tossed his hair that covered most of his face. Strange sensation came again.. and this time is stronger as it made weird desire appeared in my brain. This desire wasn’t  controlled and perhaps because of alcohol, I realized that my lips touched his soft cheek. I wondered why his skin felt so damn soft and smooth and for God sake he was man! It’s weird and rare that man had this smooth skin right? Hey! Wait! Man?! I immediately jerked and stared at Hyesung with my already wide eyes. What have I done?!

End Flashback-

I chuckled softly to remembered what happened that night, and to be very honest since that day I kept thinking about the strange sensation on me and in the end.. I admitted that I liked you, Hyesung-ah .. not just as friend, but as someone who special to me. This feeling was quite difficult and almost made ​​me give up and tried erased it. But what could I do? Shin Hyesung always made this feeling grew bigger and bigger every day.

I want to be loved, but you don’t seem to love me

Well.. sometimes I had thought that I would let it flow and never told to him, without the slightest he would know it. Although I really wanted he felt the same as me, but might be it's very difficult right? To admit my feeling for him was difficult enough.. Moreover to expect he to loved me back.

Do you love me? Or not love me?

As for things like that, it's already fine either way

No matter how I wish

There are many unchangeable things in this world, right?

That's right, and because only the fact of my loving you

Is the truth unchangeable by anyone

Over the past 2 years and 7 months, after passing through a thousand nights to thought about him, I always asked to myself, did he love me back? or did not? However, to loved him until now was enough for me, because I knew my feeling to him never change

His voice that echoed in the room had stopped. Boisterous applause made ​​me realized that he had stopped talking. I saw he bowed and smiled smugly. Yes.. such a beautiful smile that often I saw on him.

In this broad world, I can’t express the joy of encountering you with words

So we smile, sing about the vividly passing autumn in do-re-mi

Turn our backs on winter, wait for the sunlight streaming through trees in spring

And become reborn anew, so that we can protect someone

Seeing his smile like this made me felt that my days were happy and perfect. Just like when it was...

Flashback-

                " Never know that it’s already fall.. why days passed so fast? " Hyesung said while tightening his brown jacket and put both his fingers in the pocket.

                " Yeah .. and I don’t like it " I said as I looked at the leaves fell from its tree. The wind was blowing pretty strong today and I hate it.

                " Why?" he seemed surprise with my word and looked at me as his brows met.

                " Because it’s  cold, Hyesung-ah ~ ~ ~ !" I wailed to him and stomped my feet to ground

Hyesung chuckled softly , "but I like it so much ... "

I frowned

                " Autumn ... The brown color is so beautiful, right?"

                " Beautiful ? I don’t see any beauty in it beside litters everywhere" I  grumbled and pointed the pile of leaves.

Hyesung chuckled again. He then got up from the bench where we were sitting and he took pile of dried leaves. He walked to me who looked at him confused.

                " What do you gonn- "

Brash ! I felt the leaves over my face!.

                " YAH ! You Shin Hyesung ! " I yelled to him and stood up, brushing my body

                " Hahahaha ! You should see your own expression Eric-ah! so funny ! hahaha !" he laughed until I couldn’t see his eyes

I couldn’t help myself to laugh hear the laughter came out of his mouth . I immediately took the leaves and ran towards him.

                " Eric? Eric !! Don’t  you dare!"

Hyesung ran and I chased behind.

The field was silent a moment ago, now crowded with boisterous voice from us. Under the autumn sky, we looked like two little kids throwing and chasing each other. We stopped when we already tired and lied down staring at the sky.

                " I never thought that I’m getting older now.. " I told all of a sudden

                " Why?"

                " Because we just ran for 30 minutes and it’s made ​​me tired like this, hahaha"

Hyesung chuckled, sounded cute…

                " Hey .. "

                " Umm .. " I muttered and looked at him which is currently closed his eyes

                " You want me to sing you a song?"

I quickly got up and sat down.

                " Of course! I've heard you sing before in your room when I was waiting you in your home. And you know what? Your voice is absolutely beautiful!"

He chuckled again and very cute.

                " You always exaggerate, haha"

                " I'm serious! " I told him and furrowed my brows

He smiled and stared my eyes deeply. "All right ... do you want to listen me singing with your current position or lie down with me? "

I thought for a moment and lied down, " I think this is more comfortable.."

Hyesung then began singing, humming a song for me .. yes .. just for me .. because he said he wanted to sing for me…

And ... for some reason.. with him like this .. could saw his smile, heard his singing, made my day was perfect enough..

End Flashback–

                " What are you thinking?” I didn’t realized that Hyesung was back to his original seat, next to me.

                " Thinking about you... "

                " Huh ? "

I chuckled softly , "I thought about why you looked so cool  before.. you’re such a good speaker Hyesung-ah"

I saw Hyesung face flushed, he was embarrassed. " Stop .. you just make me feel ashamed"

                " Well .. Okaaaayy. I’ll stop then. Umm.. after this, where are you going?"

                "Of course I’ll meet with my family first. You ? "

                " Just like you ... if so, we can meet at the usual place, OK ? "

He nodded and smiled, " OK "

**

My heart’s beating fast, as I strengthen my grip on the bouquet of blue roses in my hand.

I want to be loved, but you do not seem to love me

I wander within that repetition

I found one answer, that even if I'm scared, even if I'm hurt

Then I saw him was sitting under a tree and staring at the blue spring sky. perfect

                " Hyesung-ah " I ran towards him . Hyesung turned, and stood up.

                " Are you waiting me so long? My mother was too excited to take pictures with 12 poses and you know, she's always not satisfied with one take! " I  grumbled

                " I know your mother well, hahaha "

Saw and heard him laugh like this made my heartbeat race faster again. But, what would happen next.. I had to say it to him or there’s no more chance for me...

I’ll overcome the thousands of nights and go meet you now

There is something that I must tell you

                " Hyesung-ah ... are.. are you sure you will take scholarship to US for three years? " I asked and looked deep into his eyes. Please say no .. please say no ...

He smiled and took off his eyes from me, he avoided my gaze... " I'll take it ... "

It’s hurts

I knew .. perhaps I was too selfish to said that Hyesung should not took that scholarship. But, I’ve no heart to destroyed his dream... and also, I’m nobody to him..

I looked down at the bouquet of blue roses that had been in my hand.

                " Hyesung-ah ... "

Hyesung turned and looked at me, " Hmm?"

I lifted my head and smiled, "For you .. " I gave him that blue roses.

I saw his brows furrowed and his face confused, " Why so suddenly? And wha- "

                " Hyesung-ah ... do you know what the meaning of blue rose? "

He shook his head

                " That .. is something that is not easily to express.."

                " What..you mean?" he asked and looked at me in bewilderment.

I took a deep breath and throw it away slowly. At least I had to made myself calm first.

It's scary to turn my feelings into words

                "Hyesung-ah .... I ... since I first met you .... "

Eric .. You could say it ... said or you'd regret it latter. But ... it's scary ...

I sighed and stared at those pair brown eyes of him.

                "Since then .. I think about you all night ...."

                "And I realized one thing ..."

                “ Although I know.. it’s impossible to you…

                “ It’s hard to say it…but.. I think I should say that to you..”

                "That I ... I love you... "

I love you, Hyesung-ah

It's scary to turn my feelings into words

But I can say "I love you" to the person who I love

I looked into his eyes and he did the same thing. We spent a few seconds in silence, and I didn’t know what he's thinking now.. somehow it’s made me afraid... Then, I saw him moved toward me, slowly. I was afraid to the chances that would happen next, in reflex, I closed my eyes tightly. I thought he's going to hit me and assume that I was doing silly joke for him now.

But ... that doubts and scary thoughts faded away when I felt two arms embraced and hugged me tightly. When I opened my eyes, I could see that Hyesung was hugging me now. I could feel his body scent, his cologne, and shampoo scent of his silky hair.

                " Hyesung-ah...."

                "Can you say that words again?"

I smiled.

                "I love you .. for the first time we met ... "

I could feel his arms tighten and the words that came out from his mouth made me flying to the seventh cloud.

                "Me too ... I love you .. from the first moment ... "

I felt relief and happiness welled up from my chest. I regret nothing, and nothing to be afraid anymore. Because I knew, the slender and perfect figure was currently hugging me, was mine .. until forever, ever..

We still hugged for couple minutes until we released our hug and looked each other. He smiled shyly while I could take my grin became widened. I hold his hand, cold.. perhaps he’s too nervous like me.

                “ I’ll wait you, Hyesung-ah… until you comeback, you still mine, right?”

He smiled and nodded, “ Of course, same with you.. always be mine..”

While holding each other hand, we looked up to the perfect beautiful sky. Spring sky, that filled with hope and love.

**

After passing through a thousand nights thinking about you ... finally I could express my feeling to you .. and in the end, you belong to me… only for me

-fin-

___________________________________

so many flashback, eh? I hope you can understand this fic...hahaha. Thanks for reading and have a nice day^^