During the past couple of months, he’s gone from “the Chinese exchange student”, to “classmate”, to “friend”. Now he’s in my room, we’ve long since finished doing homework when he receives a call which he is currently still taking, unfamiliar words flowing out of his mouth softly like silk. I’m quite certain it does not sound anywhere near as beautiful when I talk in my mother language, so I avoid doing that in front of him, and just pretend to not listen when he’s speaking Chinese. It’s like a soft music that come to end rather abruptly when he shuts off his phone and throws it on my bed. He has a habit of just throwing stuff everywhere, hence the pile of books from his bag spread carelessly around the floor.

I’m sitting on the floor, the book I had pretended to be reading while he was talking in my lap. It’s been on the same page for 20 minutes but he hasn’t noticed. He sits down across from me, crossing his legs. For a minute he’s just staring at me while I’m staring at my book, trying even harder now to look like someone who’s reading.

“Hey.” He says as he reaches forward and turns a page provokingly. I sigh and look up at him. His eyes are incredibly beautiful and he’s smiling stupidly.

“Tao, I need to read this.” I say determinedly.

“You’re saying it wrong.” He’s not smiling anymore when I look up.

“What?”

“My name.” He shakes his head and I’m terrified. Why is he shaking his head?

“Oh. Uhm, I don’t know how…”

“Try to say it.”

“Tao.”

“See, there’s something wrong with the vocal. Repeat after me. Tāo.” 

“Tao.”

“No, Tāo.”

I breathe in, giving it another try even though it seems helpless.

“Tao.”

“Okay, you’re not trying. You need to, uh, how do I explain it, you need to feel the vocal. Right here.” 

He lifts two fingers to point out his own Adam’s apple and repeats his own name.

I try to mirror the gesture, awkwardly placing my fingers on my neck.

“Tao.”

Tao reaches out and his right hand removes my hand from my neck, replacing it with his own. His two fingers pressing lightly against the spot he had pointed out, he looks into my eyes and says “Tāo”.

“Tāo?” I answer. It still sounds kind of wrong and like a question more than a statement but now his hand is sneaking around my neck and he is pulling me closer, close enough that our lips are about to touch when he whispers “yes?” and I almost inaudibly answer “kiss me”.