“Hyung.”

“hmm?”

“Let’s play a game of dare.”

“Oh…Dare? What?”

“I dare you, to love me.”

“Eih? You're crazy? What do you have up in your sleeves Sungjongie?” Myungsoo was shocked by the sudden propose of his friend. They’ve known each other like, since a few years ago he can’t track back. Maybe it was his second year in High school where Sungjong was just a newbie, they were somehow introduced to each other. Started out as just friends who you say “Hi!” when you see each other following with a “Bye~”, became friends that sometimes you hang out with, grab some lunch with, a friend you’ll save his place in the cafeteria for him until now a close friend that there’s almost nothing between them, spends most of the time together, often sleeps over at each other’s house, call’s each other’s parents “MOM and DAD”. Yeah, they do silly things together, skips school once in a while together maybe just to have ice-cream at the ice-cream parlour down the street; play at the Arcade Centre a few blocks away from Sungjong’s house; pull pranks on their classmates or even teachers; and daring each other to something.

This time, Sungjong proposed a dare to him, but what? He dares him to love him? This sounds just weird.

“You know Sungyeol hyung? The one that I have band practice with? The drummer?”

“Yeah, I know him… So?” That tall guy from year three, duh~ Who don’t know him~ He’s quite a popular guy is school, second to him though the girls in school made a poll.

“You see, he keeps on bugging me. He asked me a few times already, why you or me don’t have a girlfriend. I said, well, maybe we just ain’t interested yet nor have anyone that can make us be interested in. Then he goes like “I bet you two are gays. You like each other and are secretly dating. Pretends you’re friends and rejects all the girls!”. Well… I denied it, I swore that we are not dating at all, then he goes “okay fine~ But it’s not it. You guys must have feelings for each other, or else you won’t be both single till now.” It’s frustrating, no matter how many time I told him no he still bugs me. Then today he dared me, he told me to date you for one month, then at the end of the month, we break up continue being friends. Then he’ll believe we’re purely BEST friends, and stop bugging me asking me to date his sister… UGH!!! You know Lee SunHwa?! His sister that’s same age as me? I can’t stand her!!! She don’t get it when I told her I’ve no interest in dating her, I mean she’s not even as pretty as me and she’s such a whiner and pain in the ! I even have to walk the long way home after my part time job to avoid her.” Finally Sungjong finished his complains, crossed his arms and puffed his cheek to show his dissatisfaction.

“I don’t know about this… Jong ah…” Myungsoo is unsure of this idea.

“Oh please Myungsoo hyung… You can look at it as helping me… That dammit Lee Sungyeol also called you a gay! I mean don’t you wanna prove him wrong?” Seeing his hyung seems like rejecting, Sungjong pouts.

“sigh…Okay…One month... Okay?”

“OKAY! So hyung~ You should send me home now~ hehe… Like what couples do right!” Happy that Myungsoo gave in at last, Sungjong jumped up from the grass patch they’ve been sitting for some time, patting off some dirt off his shorts.

Myungsoo just smiled a little, stood up after him eyeing Sungjong like saying “lead the way.” And see the younger boy skips off in front of him. Seriously, he sends him home everyday before they even started this.

After sending the boy home, greeted his mother went in to have a piece of cake and some tea that she insisted him to have and finally bid goodbye, Sungjong to send him to the door and say the last goodbye to him before closing the door. Myungsoo turns away to walk home after the door closed, walking slowly, his expression not so good.

Darn it Lee Sungyeol… He cursed in his heart. He and that lad, they’re actually quite close, Sungjong doesn’t know. Though it’s said they have almost nothing between them, just ALMOST. There’s things Sungjong doesn’t know like besides he’s close with Sungyeol; he also has a few big photo album in his house that he keeps under his bed full of Sungjong’s photos; every valentines he’ll write a simple letter anonymous with only one sentence “I love you.”, stuck it in Sungjong’s desk with all the other presents and letters from his other admirers; the fact that he actually likes Sungjong more than a friend. Some things Sungjong just does not know. He never told anyone all these either, Sungyeol found out when he saw his photos in the camera accidentally and forced him to admit to the fact. He was actually planning to keep the secret until dead carry it with him into grave but then Sungyeol found out, he made him swore he won’t tell anyone but he always is still afraid that the boy will just blurt it out anytime, but seeing he had been keeping the secret quite well for almost a year or more, he was starting to think his secret is safe with him. But he’s messing with Sungjongie now, ugh… He decides in his heart he shall not speak to the elder lad for this whole month.

The following month, nothing really changed between Myungsoo and Sungjong, they were very close already before all these, just that now they hold hands and share hugs more often and walks hand in hand from time to time, Sungjong will sometimes peck on his cheek, forehead or nose tip surprising him making his heart flutter. They also go on dates more often now, amusement park, movies, ice-cream parlour, book store and so on. Myungsoo was actually enjoying this. Well, at least he can get a taste of dating Sungjong though they will be breaking up, going back to friends again after a month, if Sungyeol didn’t set them up, he’ll probably never have a chance at all.

One month was about to end, one more week left. Myungsoo looked at the calendar and sigh… This game is about to end and… everything’s about to go back to where it was before. It was very nice dating Sungjong, despite him counting down the days its going to end. But well, they are best friends! Maybe Sungjong will be used to giving him kisses and hugs they can still have it between them, but to think of it, since they start dating, Sungjong never invited him to his house ever again, he always leave at the doorstep… Maybe he doesn’t want his parents knowing… shrugging Myungsoo puts on his jacket and goes out ready to pick up Sungjong to school. When he arrived at the door the one who opened the door was actually Sungjong’s mum.

“Hi Mrs Lee, I’m gonna go to school with Sungjongie…” He says very casually.

“Oh Myungsoo ah…you’re here… Sungjongie can’t go to school today, can you help him inform the teacher? He’s not feeling well…” Mrs Lee looks kinda worried but still asked Myungsoo calmly.

“Oh… Its okay, I’ll tell… He’s okay? Is it… serious?” Myungsoo is worried, that boy seldom falls sick, and its weird to fall sick at this kind of weather…

“He’ll… be fine… Thank you Myungsoo ah… I’ve to go now, you better get on your way to school too…”

After bidding goodbye, Myungsoo just can’t stop being worried although Mrs Lee said Jong is fine, decides that he’ll go visit after school, he saw Sungyeol walking towards him. Though he decided before not wanting to talk to the elder for this whole month, he’s a soft person actually so he was about to walk towards him and start a conversation. To his surprise, Sungyeol seem to be avoiding him instead, he was walking towards him but suddenly pulled back and turned to the stairs at the corner. Well that’s weird, mostly he would be like shouting from across the hallway, but he didn’t think much.

Finally one long day at school ended, without Sungjong with him, break time seems dull, boring and long. Walking towards the school gates, he was surprised to see Sungjong standing there, waiting for him, in his yellow T and ½ canvas shorts. Sungjong saw him and waved a bit.

He picked up his pace a bit and bring himself next to Sungjong, “Waeyo? I thought you’re sick?”

Sungjong gave him a light smile nodding “Nae… It’s nothing… Just down with a fever… Don’t worry.”

“Oh… You should’ve rest home then…” Happy to see his boyfriend though his hand muffled Sungjong’s hair a bit.

“Hehe… But I wanna see you~ and I want you to send me home still…” Sungjong pouted a little where Myungsoo find extremely adorable.

He held Sungjongs hand and pulled lightly, “Let’s go… You need to rest…”

Myungsoo sent Sungjong home again, today too until the door, Sungjong gave him a peck on the lips before closing the door behind. Myungsoo was startled, touched his lips, the soft moist sensation, he can still feel it, he walks home smiling like a fool.

Sungjong went to school again on the next day then the following week just goes on like always. Just that Sungjong always gives Myungsoo peck on the lips often, it only took Myungsoo a few time to get use to it, he can now react back pulling the younger before he leaves and kisses back, deepening the kiss involving tangling of their tongues, ends up a long wet kiss. Sungjong’s face always flush bright red after that and Myungsoo loves it, he pulls the boy into his embrace and hugs him tightly.

Finally it’s the last day of their dare, Myungsoo really don’t want this day to come nor end. Both of them walking hand in hand, slowly up to Sungjong’s house, finally stopping at the door.

“oh well…It’s the end Myung…We’re back to friends starting tomorrow… hmm…” Sungjong says with his head down.

“I… guess so…” trying his best not to tremble while answering, its hard, but he still fakes a light smile. “ We’re best friends.”

“Okay… Well… Bye… Goodbye…” Sungjong gave a fast small peck on Myungsoo’s lips and immediately went into his house, closing the door at once behind him.

Myungsoo’s tears just trailed down like that. Done… Everything is over… over… He walks home, tears not stopping, but little does he know, the door slammed in front of him, the boy who slammed it, slid down and sat the cold doorway also, is tearing…

The next two days were holidays, no school for them, Myungsoo just stayed home the whole two days, looking through his collections of photos of Sungjong that had grown more since they dated, reading his diaries from the day they started dating and recalling the happy moments between them.

It’s finally school day, Myungsoo still went to Sungjong’s house as he always does, to go to school with him, but knocking the door, ringing the bell, no one answered at all, he was puzzled. Then the neighbor came out and told him that Sungjong’s family said that they will be going outstation for some time, no idea when they’ll be back. Myungsoo thanked the person and went on his way to school.

It’s weird that Sungjong never told him that he was going anywhere, mostly he’ll text if anything special comes up, he called and texted Sungjong but no one picked up and no replies from him at all. Myungsoo still went to Sungjong’s house every morning to check if the family’s back but he always ends up disappointed.

Things continued to be like this for four days and Myungsoo gets worried, why didn’t Sungjong reply him?! He went to Sungjong’s class teacher to ask if he knows why Sungjong’s absent from school lately but he was shocked by the teacher’s answer that Sungjong already resigned from school.

What is all these? Something is not right he sensed, the next person he can think of to ask something out of this is Lee SungYeol

“YAH LEE SUNGYEOL!” He screech the elder’s name as soon as he arrived at their class finds him sitting there in his place with ear piece on. The boy just calmly removed his ear piece and looked straightly at Myungsoo, stood up silently pulled him away to a corner in school where there’s nobody else, not forgetting to ask his classmate to tell the next teacher coming in that he’ll be excused for class.

“About time you showed up…” Sungyeol just stated calmly.

“What do you mean about time?! You know something don’t you?!” SungYeol sounds like he’s been hidden from something, and this boy knows.

“Just… just go to Jongie’s house today… You’ll know… It’s better you… hear from his parents…” ready to leave after finishing, “Ah… and I never told you… I’m Jongie’s cousin by the way…” and he goes back to class.

Terrified, scared of what he’s about to face but have to know the truth, Myungsoo fled to Sungjong’s house as soon as school ends, rang the bell and finally after few days of disappointment the door opens, Mr Lee greeting him.

The man saw the young lad, just showed him the way in, not saying a word.

“Sir… I’m here to find Sungjong… is he in? I can’t contact him these few days I-“

Mr Lee did not answer him still, just went to the table and took a key, placed it into Myungsoo’s hand and told him, “Just… Go to Jongie’s room…you’ll know.”

Taking the key with him, the worried feelings grew in him, its like eating up his heart, he opens the door but no one in there. He sits down on Sungjong’s bed, the room looks like how he remembered one month ago, the teddy bear on the right hand side of his bed the night lamp on the left side table, the lemon yellow curtain slightly opened, book shelf beside the window, the closet closed… but what’s all these…besides the night lamp, there’s so many… pills? What are these… He took the packet and examined it, no, he can’t understand the doctor’s writing. Grabs the teddy bear, he hugs it tightly, Jong… where are you… why did you disappear… he’s asking then he finds a letter that the bear was sitting on, picked it up…

“To Myungsoo” it was addressed to him…

With trembling fingers he opened the letter, he read it, tears fell down just like that…

“Myungsoo ah… Myung ah~ Myungsoo Hyung~ Myungie… I’m sorry I can’t call you like this anymore… I lied to you, sorry again. The dare was fake, I just want to date you for the last month I have to live. Yes, I only had one month left… sorry… for not telling you. I had this sickness, can’t be cured… the name is so long, I can’t remember, you know I’m not good at remembering these things right…hehe… okay…

Yeolie hyung…is my cousin, you should’ve known by now eh… I know you like me you pabo ya… I like you too… I just never said… But I can’t take it, I’m selfish I want my last days to be happy so I made that dare, sorry Myungie… I’m selfish eh? Please don’t be too sad that I’m gone now… at least… at least we had happy memories that can be cherished… right?

Move on hyung… I won’t blame you for hating me or forgetting me after these… I love you…

Lastly I just wanna say

The photos you took of me, I love them, you know you can become a very great photographer, persuade your dream please, be happy.

Eat well you pabo… Even if you like something a lot, don’t get obsessed and only eat that, you need balanced diet you know! To be healthy…

Your clothes, even though I always complain you wear too much black… But I actually think it looks good on you… You’re the best Myung…

The letters you give me every year for Valentines, I saved them in my desk you can open it… I actually wrote a reply letter to you every year too but I didn’t give you… They’re all together… sorry for the late letters…

Smile more hyung, your smile is really nice you know? Although I may be jealous if other people see your smile… hehe… selfish me…

And again…sorry…I love you…I really do… But I have no choice… If I can in next life… I’ll make it all up to you… saranghae…

                                                                                                                                                           From : Jong Jong”

The letter laid on his lap, it was kind of wrinkled, seems like Sungjong’s tears dropped on the letter and it dried… now it’s wetted again, warm tear from Myungsoo on the sheet of paper…

5 years later

A man in black suit stood in front of a grave, looks at the smiling photo, his fingers lingering on the name carved on the tombstone.

“Jong ah…I’m here again… did you miss me? I’m sorry, I’ve been busy lately with the photography exhibit… I’m eating well don’t worry. Black see~ I look good in suit right? Hehe… but sorry Jong, I still can’t move on… You don’t jelly okay? I’m only smiling for you now.”

He sits down after spreading a blanket beside the grave, and continues “so~ lemme tell you about lately… Your mum and dad are fine don’t worry~ I’m taking care of them you know… But your mum caught a flu that day. It’s okay, we went to the doctor already and Yeolie hyung, he’s gonna get married next month………”

Myungsoo just sits there, talking to his loved one. its just like Sungjong never left…