“Shut up,” Yoona barked in frustration for the nth time, cursing in her head that she doesn’t understand how she should wait in the same room as the so called dancing machine from the newbie band she never even talked to. It's the year-end concert, too, and all the pressure and exhaustion were just pushing her buttons.

And Jongin, or like he had to keep on reminding himself, Kai, kept on nagging about the gay outfit and stupid makeup he had to wear. All he wanted was to dance, he says, to which his manager shot, “Yeah, but the fans came for the smiles and abs, so it.”

And Yoona shouldn’t have cared, because he’s just a junior, but she smirked at Jongin’s desperate sigh and deep frown anyway.

And Jongin shouldn’t have been irked by her smirk, because she’s just a role model, but he blames her for taking pleasure over his sorrow.

-

The exclusive steakhouse was crowded and one could barely hear another. All of the SMTown concert members and crews were chattering, some drunk, frustrated, and nonchalant.

"Like I said, you should start dating. Then maybe our company would stop being flooded with dozens of love letters every day," Taeyeon said, actually thinking so.

"And like I said, I'm not interested in that kind of things. My life is already as exhausting as it is, I don't need another person to worry about," Yoona sighed.

"Being with someone can actually make things easier, though," Jessica said, "At least at the end of the day you know there's someone you can come to and be with. Someone to lean on and love," she continued with a vague dreamy expression.

"Yeah, sometime later maybe," Yoona shrugged and downed her glass. She looked at her wrist-watch and noticed it's 11 PM already. Time to go home: she still had stacks of scripts to memorize.

The topic shifted and the atmosphere lightened as they laughed at each other's jokes and the funny memories they shared.

“I think I’m going home,” Yoona politely excuses herself like she always does, and picked her belongings to leave. Her friends just booed at her and tell her take care, and she smiled in gratitude.

She bowed to the staffs and other people, smiling and excusing herself.

She walked over to the door, thinking about what Taeyeon and Jessica said earlier. What if they were right? she wondered. She contemplated about the pros and cons of meeting someone and imagined the fans' reaction. The thoughts and possibilities hurt her head so she shrugged it off in the end.

But she bumped into a man, or like she mocked him as she looked up, boy, and asked, “You’re leaving too?” To which Jongin nodded and after a while Yoona tried to mask her smile forming by coughing, then asked if he wants to share a ride. It will be awkward, she understood, but she just felt like asking.

And he’s a junior, so of course he had to comply, that’s what Jongin told himself. But deep down he wondered why he was trying not to squeal or blush as their hands brush against each other while sitting in the cab.

They arrived at SNSD's dorm and Yoona opened the door to get off.

"Bye, Kim Jongin," Yoona said, "I'll pay you back the cab fare someday."

Jongin waved it off and said, "Bye, Im Yoona. And no need to, it's nothing. Take care,"

Yoona smiled, "I'm your sunbae. Anyway, I'll treat you to a meal instead then," and closed the door before Jongin even had time to refuse.

But while looking at her shrinking waving figure from the window he thought, maybe I would've accepted the offer anyway if I had the chance. Somehow he wanted to get to know his senior a bit more. Maybe because he wanted to learn something from her experience, but then again maybe not, he wondered.

-

It has been weeks since the year-end performance and they both had forgotten all about each other thanks to the infernal schedule of them both.

Funny, their job was also the ones to get them together once again.

“Why not Kris?” Yoona asked, “He looks way more mature,” elongating the ‘a’ of the word ‘way’. Kris perked up at his name and muttered, thanks, I guess? with a confused look.

But for the sake of not getting yelled at by the managers, Yoona and Kai slung their hands awkwardly at each other, before each mumbled to themselves to be a professional, and all the pictures came out perfect—perfectly commercial and, well, fake. But the public and the fans won’t see that, because all they know is wow KaiYoon fits each other and belong with each other and maybe they’re dating, when in fact they just met weeks ago, hours before setting into the same waiting room.

Yoona changed back into her clothes after the photo shoot and frowned at herself—Jongin’s just another colleague, another partner to act with, so why the hell couldn’t she get her act together and why wouldn’t her urge to nag at every little thing he does wrong go away? Like when he held her hand a little too tight, or when they pointed at each other and Yoona realized his finger pointed a little too much towards the ceiling than to her, why did she have to try so hard to shut her lips close?

But Kai also couldn’t comprehend, why the hell he was sweating so much and his lips kept on getting dry when they held hands. Why he felt his hand tremble in her grasp and felt the temperature rising up. And why, for the sake of his dance moves, he felt like looking away and had to glance behind her instead, which somehow made him point at the ceiling, not that he notices.

He cursed, must be the years of not dating, and sneered, thinking about how many times Yoona must have been way more intimate with a guy that she could do it so easily, making him felt like the glint of what the photographer called chemistry and feelings were so real and his heartbeat bounced.

"Hey Kai," Yoona called out while Jongin was replying Sehun's text.

"Call me Jongin," Jongin said. He liked the way Yoona said Kim Jongin the other day, for some reason.

"Wanna get some lunch before heading back?" Yoona asked, nails digging into her palm as she balled her fist to get a grip on herself.

"Sure," Jongin nodded and packed his bag, quickly sending Sehun a message saying I won't be back that soon.

Yoona insisted to pay and Jongin did too, so they had a rock-paper-scissor match that Jongin won easily; he was an expert at the game.

Yoona whined that she was planning on paying Jongin back for the cab and Jongin said, better luck next time.

He caught himself dumbfounded as the realization of what just slipped through his lips came. He felt his cheeks heating up and hoped his dark skin tone would favor him this once to cover up the blush.

She found herself dumbfounded as she wondered so there's a next time? And questioned herself what she felt about it.

Jongin asked about her day and the conversation moved on, with occasional witty remarks from both of them and laughter every now and then.

Jongin found out Yoona was the one who cried the most on her girlgroup's debut day, that she preferred chocolate over vanilla, and that she thinks Lay is the most handsome EXO member. The last one made Jongin a bit envious of the dimple-smiled man.

Yoona found out Jongin disliked his y image and laughed at him. She found out Jongin liked his power of teleportation in the latest MV and that he has two older sisters who treat him like a little child.

They parted ways as their schedule forced them to, feeling light and happy on their way home.

-

It was months, more than half a year later after the year-end concert and the awkward photo shoot that Kai saw another side of the somehow different senior.

He practises the dance his fans say he can pull off effortlessly—tch, as if, Jongin sneered—till midnight, and decided to go home after tripping himself for the fourth time. He was rubbing his eyes, trying to hold on till he gets home, when he heard the sound.

A mumble. Very faint, and if Jongin didn’t use to try and listen to the secret whispers between his parents, maybe he wouldn’t have heard it.

Jongin tries to turn back because it’s none of your business, now turn your idiot and get some sleep. But his feet won’t listen, and trudges silently towards the sound.

The mumbles got clearer and Jongin was almost sure it’s who he thinks it is, but if anything, it made it even harder for him to leave.

He peeks from behind a wall and noticed the petite, shaking shoulder, of the figure leaning against a wall, and realised she’s crying! She’s freaking crying! Why would the girl the world envies be crying?

He walks over tip-toeing, and he knows it’s an invasion of private space, but he envelops the girl muffling her cry into her folded legs into his embrace anyways. He gets ready for a slap, but the girl only wiped her tears away and looked up, and he feels bad for even thinking but she looks prettier with tears. He hates it, though.

And Yoona smiled gratefully, it’s so not her but she didn’t even think. She just let Jongin sit down and fix their position, and Yoona goes on sobbing into her hands, and Jongin puts his chin on top of her head, her frail, bony back and inhaled her faint scent, as he tries to convince himself it’s reality. He realizes he’s somehow not even a teeny bit sleepy anymore. He wants to ask her why she’s crying, and why it’s somehow making him sad, but he didn’t want to break the comfortable position. He likes the feeling of her near him, in his arms. He likes that she allows him to see her break down, saw her so broken when she covers up for everyone else. He understands her, in some way and another, and slowly realized it’s because he’s that way, too. Maybe Yoona knows as well, and that’s why she’s letting me be here.

True, Yoona knows. She noticed his silence when his bandmates complained that the world is so unfair, that Kai gets all the fans and the looks and the dance moves and never had it hard. She witnessed him shrugging with tight lips and caught a falter in his usually playful eyes. She knows, but that’s not the only reason.

Really, Yoona just feels oddly comforted by Jongin’s presence. Just him being there.

He didn’t count, but realized Yoona’s sobs soften and finally disappear, and he’s confused as to why he feels so relieved and then feels something missing as Yoona wiggled away and let go of his shirt she’d been crumpling in her hands.

Yoona inhaled and exhaled before whispering, “Thank you,” and Jongin likes the way her voice rang, even with the post-crying rasp.

“Can you promise you won’t ever tell anyone else?” Yoona croaked even after drinking directly from Jongin’s bottle—so not her—to which Jongin agreed, if she promises to never bottle up to herself and talk to him, and never cry alone but instead let him accompany her like just now. Jongin feels his requests are odd rolling off his tongue but he knows, too, how lonely it gets when everything, every last bit of his veneers break down and he doesn’t understand anything anymore.

So when she nodded, feeling unsure, they exchanged numbers, and Jongin takes her home safely, and bid her goodbye.

And the rigid right-angled bows and the formal hellos were slowly replaced by how are yous, and they look in each other’s eyes, and they would answer fine, realizing the question means much more than simple greeting. They nag at each other and yell, but miss one another’s voice when they are separated for too long.

So they started making time for each other, a luxury for people in their fields, and it’s an unsaid agreement for them to see each other every two weeks. And even though Kai feels like hell after countless stages, and Yoona feels sore after countless photo shoots, they would realize it’s the second or fourth Friday of the month, and somehow finds the strength to change into baggy clothes and meet up. Sometimes in a coffee shop, but the fans got too irritating and they often get takeouts and chill at one of their dorms’ living room.

The meet-ups were not eventful; they mostly talked, about annoying co-workers, silly album themes, nasty hairdos, hearsay, anything. They quarrel over the most trivial things, but only slightly, and they let it go. At times, one or both of them feels that everything’s just too much, and they just said hi and hug, basking in each other’s presence and comfort. They pat each other’s back, share encouraging quotes and stories, whisper cheer-up words and it’s okays and pray for each other.

Sometimes it’s not even Fridays, like the day when Jongin was knocked off his feet by aggressive fans. He texted Yoona ow, my feet hurts now with a sad emoticon. Yoona calls immediately, and Jongin picks up at the first ring because even though he won’t admit it, he’s been tapping his phone on the table, checking for her concerned text or anything from her. His wince and grimace vanished and his face light up, telling her his current position.

She showed up with his favorite tomato soup in the whole town and patted his head. Jongin felt like a little boy but didn't complain when Yoona suggested she should feed him even though his hands are perfectly fine. He kinda likes it instead.

She insisted to watch over him till he sleep, and Jongin pretended to sleep just because he could see the dark circles below her eyes, and as much as he wished she could stay, he knew she had early schedules the next day.

Yoona exited and Jongin was proud of his sleeping act. He didn’t know Yoona rolled her eyes and smiled just before kissing his forehead and whispering get well soon. All he knows is now his forehead tingle and he likes it.

Nowadays he likes too much of Yoona. He likes everything about her.

Yoona feels the same too. She thinks it’s stupid for her to feel her heartbeat when Jongin’s face beams at her every time they bump into each other.

-

It’s been over two years since they were in the same waiting room; almost a year and a half since Yoona first cried in Kai’s embrace, and they’re still that way.

Turns out Yoona likes Kai's voice when he's not nagging like he was at the waiting room and turns out Kai likes her laugh, as long as she's not mocking him.

They’re magnets; they met with their like poles facing and so they resent each other. But there’s always the other side of the magnet, and somehow they fit together. Their relationship is undefined, but doesn’t mean it’s less meaningful than their other relationships.

They don’t call each other boyfriend and girlfriend, they’re simply close friends with really long ‘o’ when they say ‘close’. They don’t look for dates because they’re content with each other and why limit themselves to another person?

They’re just there for each other, together.

This is sort of a background for a plot i thought of, idk.

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