He says he found someone else. Someone who can fill that empty spot in his heart.Just by being watched, he was able to do what Jongup specialized in doing, making him smile. Of course, Jongup's first reaction was to be happy for him, but soon after, he began to feel a little lonely himself.

But wasn't Himchan his best friend in life?

Why did he feel so insecure?

Jongup feels like he's fading away, slowly being forgotten.

Jongup used to be the only one who could put a smile on Himchan's face when he was having a hard time being bullied. Himchan was schizophrenic. Jongup was his loyal sidekick who brushed off his weird moments of talking to air. Whenever said outcast was cornered, Jongup would magically appear to save him. It seemed like the whole world was afraid of Jongup.

"Thanks again, Jongup." Himchan would say at least five times a week while watching the same group of boys run away from the scene.

~*^*~

The sun slowly dipped lower, leaving the sky painted in miraculous shades of pink, blue, purple and orange. Jongup sat on the window sill, brown hair dancing in the evening breeze as Himchan glanced at him occasionally from behind the sketchbook in his hands.

"Hey Channie hyung."

"Hmm?" The artist didn’t lift his head to look at his model.

Jongup glanced over at the elder. His pencil was flying across the A3 sized piece of paper as he sketched the outlines of Jongup’s silhouette against the setting sun.

Jongup thought about how immersed he looked and shook his head. "Don't worry. Keep drawing."

"Jonguppie? What are you thinking about?"

Jongup cast another look out at the sunset. In the distance, he could see the faint outline of Himchan smiling at someone else.

"You feel further away."

Himchan let his pencil drop to the table. "Jongup-ah..." He whispered. He placed his book on the table and walked over to the other and wrapping his arms around him tightly. "I'm sorry..."

"Wh-what are you apologizing for?" Jongup asked, confused.

"I'll spend more time with you, okay?" Himchan asked cutely, squeezing Jongup. Jongup let out a laugh at the elders little antics and gave him a sweet smile.

“Okay.”

~*^*~

Two days later, Jongup found himself standing on the front door of Himchan’s house (where he also happened to live). He was standing perpendicular to the door while Himchan was suppose to be introducing his friend but Jongup couldn't see anything, or anyone. The chilly spring breeze whipped in his face, causing him to flick his fringe away over a million times. Himchan’s right hand was on his shoulder, his left hovering in midair as he attempted to introduce his new friend to Jongup.
 
"Jongup! Meet Youngjae!" Himchan enthused, a rare bunny smile on his face. His eyes were twinkling. Kim Himchan's smiles were rare indeed, and Jongup felt like he could stare at them all day long. The way his lips curled up and eyes shone like stars in the black night, Jongup found it absolutely breathtaking.

Jongup doubtfully held out a shaky hand in front of him. Was Himchan starting to see people now? Jongup wondered what 'Youngjae' looked like.

"N-nice to meet you Youngjae." He said, managing a small smile.

"Agh! Shake properly!" Himchan exclaimed, grabbing his hand and linking it with 'Youngjae's'. He made him shake hands firmly with his friend and let Jongup's hand go only when he was satisfied.

Yoo Youngjae. To be honest, Jongup didn't like this guy at all. He felt a stab of jealousy every time Himchan would laugh at thin air or play with no one in particular. He wanted to be the only one who could cheer up Himchan. Youngjae was just a figment of Himchan's imagination, Jongup couldn't see him but tried his best to join in by getting snippets of the twos conversation. They were talking about biology now.

~*^*~

The next day, Himchan freaked out. He ran around the house (hand intertwined with Youngjae's) calling out loudly for his brown haired friend. Jongup stayed in the shadow of the cupboard, curled up in a ball and trying not to be seen. His face was a mess. He had just been crying and didn't want Himchan to find him this way. He always felt he had to be strong for Himchan and never shed tears in front of him. His sudden longing for alone time was probably from all the pent up emotions and over thinking, that's what he thought. He was feeling really bothered by Youngjae's existance in Himchan's mind.

He stiffened as the footsteps came closer and the door flew open, pressing himself further into the corner. Though his bangs, he saw Himchan's eyes pass through his hiding spot at least thrice before said male ran of to search another room.

A sigh of relief left his mouth and he squeezed his knees tighter.

Then he heard Himchan sobbing.

He pushed away the image of the elder hugging Youngjae as if he was his lifeline. To be honest, Jongup didn't really know what Youngjae looked like. All he had was Himchan's sketch of his new friend's portrait. And Himchan was a really good artist.

He thought Youngjae looked like a marshmallow, squishy and cute. There really was no other way to describe him. Of course, no one could compare to his Himchan, but Jongup could help but be attracted to the cheeky smile that lit up that oh-so-adorable baby face of Youngjae's. Jongup is pretty sure Himchan had somewhat exaggerated that look of adorable-ness in the others face, if that was even possible.

On the other hand, looking at Youngjae's sketched picture gave Jongup a sense of familiarity. And it didn't make Jongup feel any less uncomfortable, the gut feeling that he knew that person.

~*^*~

The next day, Himchan locked himself is his room and refused to come out, even with Jongups extra persuasive powers. Jongup scaled the wall outside, climbing in at the open window only to see Himchan alone and talking to himself.

Jongup thought he would see the cheeky smiling Youngjae next to his friend but he didn't.

Oh wait. Jongup couldn't see Youngjae.

"Are you okay Himchannie-hyung?" He asked, taking small hesitant step towards the older.

The closer he went, the clearer the elder's mutterings became.

"...then he asked to see my sketch of Jongup in art class and wanted to keep it. I knew they liked each other." Himchan whispered to himself.

The soft flutter of the curtains caught his attention and his head snapped up. He yelped when he saw Jongup.

"How did you get in here?" He asked with large eyes, watering slightly.

"The window. Are you feeling alright hyung?" Jongup looked like a puppy, eyes wide with concern as he slowly approached the other.

Himchan nodded shakily. "J-Jae-yah..."

Jongup blinked. Blinked. Turned around to face the air the stared back at Himchan. Jae... Youngjae?

"Is he here?" He asked in a small confused voice.

Himchan didn't answer but plopped himself on his bed instead, an invisible figure by his side, comforting him.

Jongup gulped down the lump of jealousy rising in his throat, guessing the other was there and Himchan was ignoring him again. He left the room to let them have their privacy. What had just happened back then? Did Himchan see Youngjae there? But why did he think Jongup liked Youngjae? Was it because... because of that one time he called Youngjae cute? He couldn't help it, the word just slipped out of his mouth at that moment. Besides, Himchan thought he was adorable too.

Kicking a few stones on the ground, he found himself in a park. This was the furthest he had ever been from Himchan, physically. He had never been that far away from Himchan, even in school since he took all of Himchan's classes.

"Jongup!"

Jongup turned at the sound of Himchan's voice in his head and ran straight back home. He didn't expect to receive a bone crushing hug the second he got through the door.

"H-hyung!"

"Where've you been all day? I missed you!"

"I was..." For the first time in his life, Jongup felt lost and confused. 'I was with you in this room awhile ago. Before your stupid friend came that is.' That's what he wanted to say. But he did a double take and realized that it wasn't something he'd usually say. Himchan would definitely tell something was up.

"I was just in the park, hyung." He shrugged. Himchan looked at him apprehensively through teary eyes but accepted the excuse anyway. He hugged Jongup again, promising to never let him out of his sight.

~*^*~

But then it happened again.  Jongup started to suspect something was up. Why was Himchan oblivious to his existence?

They woke up on the same bed, as usual, since Himchan really hated sleeping alone.

Jongup was halfway admiring the sleeping beauty when sleeping beauty woke up. He quickly drew his hand back, his face burning red when he was almost caught staring his friend's uncommon peacefulness. (By that he meant Himchan's sleeping face. He found it really calming. Like how Himchan would suddenly pout in the middle of his dreams or start talking about Jongup.) The quick movement threw him off the bed and he landed with a low thud on the floor.

"Jongup?" Himchan's clear voice rang through the night.

"I'm here hyung." Came the soft reply. Jongup was rubbing the bump that magically appeared on his head, half-expecting Himchan to pop over the side of the bed and hit him playfully for being such a klutz. But Himchan just wandered out of the room calling out his name and Jongup watched him go.

Today definitely wasn't his day. Jongup knew Himchan was schizophrenic, but he never thought his friend would ignore him for this long. He didn't even do anything wrong, except not be there when Himchan woke up. He was on the floor at that time. As they walked to school, he watched for the side as Himchan interacted with the oh-so-realistic Youngjae, smiling, gesturing and laughing.

His stomach fell and he suddenly felt sick. His paces were slowing down. He opened his mouth to tell Himchan, then paused. Maybe, just maybe, Himchan will get worried and look for him. It was a hopeful wish that Himchan would let go of his schizophrenia and return to reality instead. And he trudged home by himself, he prayed for the well being of the other.

Swinging lightly in the swing, Jongup noted how the wind shook the cherry blossoms out of the tree. The flowers, and sometimes individual petals, rode the wind like a roller coaster, fluttering softly to the ground when the sudden quick gust ended. Jongup flicked his fringe out of his eyes.

The flowers made him think of Himchan, the most beautiful boy he knew. It was not right to call a boy 'beautiful', but in Jongup's books, he definitely qualified as beautiful. Maybe even more than that. Jongup felt like something was missing, Himchan was missing from him. He glanced in the direction of the school, though there were a few kilometers between them, and thought about how his friend was slowly slipping away from reality.

Jongup stood up in a huff and left the park, trailing home and deciding to wait there instead. He lived with Himchan, how he came to, he had no idea. His latest memory was from when he was 2-years-old. Himchan fell off the swings, in the very same park with the cherry blossom.

But Jongup knew he wasn't Himchan's sibling. The innocent boy, when he was young, had told him he was an angel from the sky. A stunningly beautiful, gentle and kind angel from above, that what Himchan said when they were in the hospital together. Jongup was the only one allowed to remain even after visiting hours closed because Himchan had pleaded and begged with the doctors and nurses for his friend to stay. A nurse came to check up on them every half and hour or so, making sure the two were safe.

Just as he landed on his bed, he heard the sound of the front door closing. He got up, heart quickening slightly, and peeked out from the room, face falling when he saw Himchan was still with Youngjae. He could tell, because Himchan was hugging the empty air, whispering and laughing as they tumbled onto the couch in front of the tv.

"Great." Jongup muttered dejectedly, closing the door with a little more force than he should.

Himchan's laugh was heard from outside, "The wind is really strong today!" Jongup could hear him smiling. As if on cue, the wind slammed the front door shut. "Thanks Jaejae!"

Jongup felt like kicking something. He was so mad, mad that he couldn't go out there and stop Himchan from getting dragged into his imaginary world. He couldn't, or wouldn't? His body didn't want to listen to him anymore. Brain must be malfunctioning.

His body led him out of the window and down the tree that grew conviniently outside. He saw the small piece of his ripped uniform on a branch but ignored it. Though the wind blew, he was already too numb to feel it's chilling effects. His feet brought him through the marketplace of town, and there he sighed at his lonely existance.

The marketplace seemed kind of empty. He continue through the food stalls, stopping every once in awhile to gaze longingly into the stores. He cursed, a very non-Jongup thing to do, when he realized he didn't have his money with him.

At the tenth store or so, his stomach rumbled unhappily and he decided to see if he could land some free food or something. He felt like he looked miserable enough... and good-looking, as Himchan always said he was.

"Excuse me?" He said hesitantly, peeking into the stall.

Then he realized that it the owner wasn't there. Probably taking a break or something, but his stomach couldn't wait. He groaned and returned home, hoping that Himchan had something for him to eat.

"Hyung!" Jongup whined, pushing the door open. The house was eerily dark and quiet. Jongup's hands darted over to the light switch and flicked it, sighing in relief as the dim yellow lights slowly came to life. He wandered over to the fridge, pulling it open and scanning through the contents. He'd have to go out shopping sometime.

As he closed the fridge, he found a sticky note on the door reading, 'Youngjae and I made you dinner, it's in the fridge-' Jongup looked at the container in his hands, '-Tell your hyung what's worrying you, I'm always here for you my dear Jonguppie~ ^^'.

Jongup smiled a bit and left the container on the counter as he crept into the room they shared.

"Hyung..." He whispered, a smile lighting up his face. But Himchan was already asleep, on top of the covers with his phone in his hand. Himchan had fallen asleep while waiting for him, he felt a small bubble of happiness expanding in his empty stomach. He tucked Himchan in and crept under the blanket with him. "Sleep well hyung, I love you."

Seconds later, the screen of Himchan's phone lit up as another message came in.

'Good night to you too, hyung. Sleep well. -Youngjae'

~*^*~

"This is stupid." Jongup groaned, tailing Himchan at a distance.

Just last night, he was ecstatic over Himchan actually waiting for him, but this morning was no different than the last. 'Youngjae' had come around 7 in the morning and offered to accompany Himchan to school. The latter didn't refuse and they were currently chatting casually as Jongup turned into a third wheel.

"Himchan hyung." He whined, attempting to grab the others attention, but Himchan didn't turn.

Jongup considered skipping school again, just to see Himchan wait for him but he thought against it. Either way, he knew he needed a man to man talk with his friend.

Cornering him after school, he asked Himchan to stay back a bit, hoping 'Youngjae' wouldn't follow them. Apparently he didn't, since Himchan yelled to him about following Jongup at the school gates.

"Youngjae says he'll wait for me." Himchan smiled, taking Jongup's hand and asking, "What's up, Jongup? Did something happen?"

Jongup just gently pulled the elder to the back of the lockers. They stood there in silence, Himchan waiting for Jongup to speak. But how should he start? He couldn't seem to find the right words to tell the other. They stared at each other for awhile, Jongup willed his unsaid words through their eye connection, but for once, their telepathy failed.

"What's troubling you Uppie?" Himchan asked softly, cupping Jongup's face with his warm, warm palms. Jongup closed his eyes briefly, enjoying the warmth radiating from the other.

"I... You..." Jongup couldn't force out the words because they sounded too mean. He wanted to yell, 'Stop getting dragged off into your fantasy world, hyung! You're schizophrenic! Youngjae is not real!' and maybe end with a confession. 'I get jealous of you every time you talk to him and not me. It's not fair how you don't spend time with me anymore. I miss you hyung.'

But when his mouth opened, the words which came out were absolutely hopeless in clearing the situation. "Y-you're schizophrenic, hyung."

Himchan smiled softly. "I know Jonguppie." His arm wrapped around Jongup and pulled him in closer. Jongup's heart started pumping faster as the elder buried his face in Jongup's neck.

"Youngjae-"

"I know Jonguppie. But he feels so real." Himchan sighed as he sat back. "I-I forget about my disease when I'm with him, it's so hard to push him away when he makes me feel like I'm normal."

Jongup pulled back slightly. "It's not a disease hyung! You are normal, you just... see things..."

Himchan laughed. "You say that to comfort me and you complain about Youngjae not being real. Make up your mind, Jonguppie!"

Jongup watched Himchan's bright expression and closed his eyes, letting his bright aura engulf him. He felt Himchan pull him into another silent hug and minutes of silence later, realized they were sitting on the floor. When did they even sink to the ground?

He opened his eyes to find Himchan completely gone.

"Hyung?"

"Jongup?" He saw no one, yet the voice was as clear as the night, right next to him. He sounded twice as confused as Jongup.

Then he blinked and, as his sight slowly returned, saw someone helping Himchan up. Some by the name of...

"Youngjae?" Himchan was looking up at what Jongup thought was a stunningly good looking guy. Jongup rubbed his eyes. Was he becoming schizophrenic too? Could he possibly be imagining the same things as Himchan?

But then it hit him, when he heard the soft buzz of typical high school kids leaving school. For the first time in his life, he could see people, see people other than Himchan, hear people other than Himchan. He peeked out of the window and took in a inhaled sharply. Since when was this town so populated? He turned back to Himchan, reaching out a hand to comfort him. But the mirror in the unused locker told him his body didn't even exist.

So, Jongup figured, he was Himchan's imagination.

With a bitter smile, Jongup realized his prayer was answered. Himchan was indeed free of seeing things, things that were not there, things that could not keep him company. Things like Jongup.

Youngjae called Himchan's name softly as he wrapped his arm around the shaking male. Jongup turned away, stumbling to his feet and dusting his knees. He felt sharp jabs as the blood rushed back into his leg then started making his way out from the locker room. Halfway out, he glanced back at Youngjae and thanked him inaudibly.

"I'm sorry," was his whispered answer. Jongup froze, and for another second, believed in his existence. But when he looked up, Jongup didn't see himself in the reflection of Youngjae’s brown eyes.
 

~*^*~ The End ~*^*~

(A/N: Last two weeks of term = essays everywhere ._. Sorry, I've been really irked by how little work I've been getting done lately and this has been lying in my bag for me to proofread for a few weeks OTL)