daehyun had not noticed it at first, how junhong was always there, bumping up his back or brushing at his arms whenever they happened to sit side by side. it was casual, a normalcy, a routine; junhong coming up to him to tell him about this one new song he heard on the radio (mostly new hip hop numbers that didn't quite agree with daehyun's eardrums but he took the offered earbud anyway because it was junhong and he never said no to junhong), junhong drooling on his shoulder in the van on the way to their dorm after music shows, junhong fighting with jongup over which cartoon character was better, junhong just being…junhong.

it was maybe after their live on earth concert in hongkong (or before that) when daehyun began to miss the warmth; junhong beginning to disappear from his side more than once when they were eating, opting to fight with youngjae or talk with jongup instead, junhong aegyo-ing yongguk into buying him late night snacks, junhong goofing around with himchan. junhong not being with him.

sometimes junhong did come up to him and bother him like he usually did but daehyun always found himself alone not long after that, blinking in the too bright lights of their practice room with an earbud dangling off one ear. daehyun dismissed the little pinpricks in his heart as his own selfish need to have someone constantly on his side but somehow he felt a little bit jealous when he saw youngjae touching junhong's thigh or jongup headlocking junhong on the floor. he shook his head harshly. you don’t feel jealousy over your own group members, his rational thought whispered.

whenever he flipped the idea inside of his head, daehyun always assumed that he saw junhong just as a little brother—a dongsaeng—and he wanted to take care of him, feed him good food and buy him presents from time to time. he didn't want more from junhong, because the way they boy's face lighted up whenever daehyun gave him something was somehow always enough for him. he loved junhong like that, daehyun was sure of it.

"hyung," junhong whined to him one night, having climbed into daehyun's bed and tore away his multiple layers of blanket. daehyun woke up with a start, arms ready to push the intruder off his bed but he opened his eyes and saw junhong's wide eyes instead. he rubbed the sleep away from his eyes and flattened his messy hair.

"what do you want, junhongie?" daehyun yawned, but he shifted his body aside to make room for junhong's gangly frame. the boy crawled up to daehyun's side and sat cross legged, bony knee poking on daehyun's ribs.

"i'm hungry, hyung. let's go out and eat." in the dim light casted by the street lamp outside, daehyun  could make out the outline of junhong's pouting lips, and daehyun had to use all of his (sleepy) willpower to refrain himself from pinching junhong's puffed up cheeks. it was a quite a hard feat to achieve by daehyun's standard.

"what do you want to eat?" daehyun whispered, glancing at yongguk's digital clock on the wall. 3.11 am. "it's late, though. we have to be quick. rehearsal, tomorrow."

"um, i want ddeokbokki." junhong answered, tapping his forefinger on his lips. "get up, hyung! hurry up!" he got off daehyun's bed and began to put on his hoodie and coat. daehyun got off and lazily threw on anything he could find on the floor, ending up with a pair of last week's jeans and youngjae's tattered sweatshirt. they went out as quietly as possible and sneaked out of the dorm with practiced familiarity. they have done this too many times before.

"oh, hyung! let's go to that place. you know, the place where we went with himchan hyung and yongguk hyung that day? their ddeokbokki is literal heaven." junhong exclaimed with wide eyes. he skipped merrily along the street in front of their dorm and daehyun jogged a bit to keep up with his long legs. "junhong-ah, wait for me!" daehyun giggled uncharacteristically and broke out into a run instead.

"race you there, hyung! if you lose you have to pay!" junhong shouted into the empty street. daehyun worried for a second that somebody might hear them and he could only imagine the scolding they would get from yongguk and their manager tomorrow if they were caught. but junhong called for him to 'keep up, old hyung' and he found himself throwing his head back and laughing loudly.

junhong got there first, face red from the running, but daehyun knew that he would be the one paying even if he had won the race. they ordered a steaming bowl of ddeokbokki each and daehyun whipped out his wallet without regret. the small store had only a few seats and daehyun ended up with junhong cluttering his left elbow and he felt his cheeks heated up in surprise. if daehyun felt his face coloring, he blamed it on the spicy ddeokbokki instead.  they ate up in silence, only glancing up occasionally to make funny faces at each other and laughing their heads off.

they walked side by side on the way back, sharing a pair of earbuds plugged precariously into junhong's ipod. some upbeat hip hop number was playing and daehyun felt all light hearted inside, despite the tip of his nose threatening to fall off from the cold and his eyes trying to shut on their own accord. it was nice, being out with junhong this time at the night, where no one bothered them, no hoards of fangirls running after them with their glazed eyes and hysterical screams. junhong kicked some pebbles on the road, sending them scattering and skipping around them.

daehyun had wanted to say something—anything—to break the silence that hung heavily around them, but he felt if he opened his mouth, he might forget what to say. he left his words unsaid until they arrived at the front of their dorm and junhong quietly took the earbud from daehyun's ear and stuffed it in his pocket.

"sleep well, junhong-ah," daehyun whispered after they had safely got in and changed into their pajamas. junhong just nodded sleepily and climbed onto his top bunk, eyes shutting immediately when his head hit the pillow.

before he fell asleep for the second time that night, daehyun tossed and turned the idea inside his head again. junhong might not always be by his side anytime and everytime, but these kind of moments, like this, were the one he treasured the most. he might feel something else altogether towards junhong, something that he couldn't explain, but for now he was contented with this.