“Balance”

If I had known such word before, would it made a difference?

“yeonwoo-ah! yeonwoo-ah! yeonwoo-ah!” I was literally jumping my way towards my girlfriend. Ecstatic would be an understatement as to what I’m feeling right now.

“what? Why are you so jumpy?” she let out a small giggle as she made her to the couch.

“”guess what? guess what? guess what?”

“what? Just spill it out you are making me dizzy. Stop repeating words will ya..”she was lazing off the couch as she fumble through the channels while here I was emitting happy rays at every corner of our apartment. Yep we live together.

I shove a piece of paper to her face..

“TELL ME THAT’S NOT A JOKE!! TELL ME TELL ME!!!” I gave her  a very wide grin

“It’s not a joke baby.” My grin grew wider when she literally threw herself at me and kiss my face…

Now if you are wondering what we’ve been fuzzing about.. well..

I’VE BEEN ACCEPTED AS ONE OF THE SONGWRITERS FOR SMENT’S NEW BOY GROUP EXO!

“oh my gahd baby we made it we made it we made it!!” she was very happy so was i. it has been our dream eversince even before we dated, I mean music was the reason why yeonwoo and I are together now. We were music majors way back in college,  and now that we are together for almost five years I think we deserve to be this happy even if I was the only who got in.

“Baby we should celebarate, go on and dress up.”

 Those were one of the happiest days of our lives. Once in a while she’ll help me write songs. Life was simple we were more than happy and content. But then things went out of control…

“baby I have to sleep over at sment, sajangnim told me to do so, so that exo members can help me write their songs. As much as I want to be with you I can’t... I’ll make up to you ne?” I regrettably said to her while she was sitting on the bed with her music sheets.

“ok just text me or call me whenever you can and don’t forget to lock the door when you leave.” she said without giving a glance to me.

“ok baby, good night don’t stay up too late.” I bid goodbye and kissed her temples before going out as she silently hum…

“uhm baby, can I ask something?” I stopped on my tracks when I heard

“sure…” I replied

“am I beautiful?” she asked no hint of joke written on her face. I chuckled lightly and made my way to the bed..

“baby why are you even asking that? You know you’re beautiful even with your bed hair on.“

“really?” she asked wanting some assurance

“yes but, well you seem a bit pale, you should go out sometimes okay? Have some sun. I’m going to be late. I love you okay.” I said and kissed her then left…

More and more nights have been spent without yeonwoo by my side and without me knowing we have been like this for months. I’ll come home tired, her with her music sheets. However never did once I heard yeonwoo complain. Although all I can give her was ample time, she never nagged me, she doesn’t demand for anything. She was very understanding, she was what I needed. And because of that I realized that she was the one I wanna spend my lifetime with. Yes I know I’m not yet well off, but I can’t bear to lose her. I just keep on falling in love with her.    So then I’ve decided that I’ll propose to her once I’m finished with Exo’s album.

NEWS:

EXO hits 2^nd at Oricon Charts

EXO won best rookie group award

EXO…

EXO..

EXO.

I was staying on sment’s lounge watching EXO’s success when I received a call from yeonwoo…her voice trembling, needy… begging me to come home. This was the first time yeonwoo called me at that manner. Of course something must’ve happen. I hurriedly grab my car keys, said my farewell to my co writer’s watching with me and  was about to leave when sajangnim called me and introduce me to who knows who, I badly wanted to leave, I know something happened. But I can’t, sajangnim was introducing me to this person, saying I was the one behind EXO’s successful songs, and whatever… it was only after 15 minutes when I was able to excuse myself. I was literally shaking now. Who knows what happened. I sped up my drive like I own the road, violating who knows how many traffic rules. In my mind there was only yeonwoo

Yeonwoo

Yeonwoo

Yeonwoo

Yeonwoo was nowhere to be found in our apartment. I searched everywhere but she wasn’t there. I went out and asked our neighboors but they have no idea as to where she was. I called her friends but they’ve got no idea either. Tiredness was creeping to my body but my mind and heart doesn’t seem to give up.

Crazy. I am literally losing my sanity. I went to hospitals, police stations, for weeks, I’ve been finding her…

But to no avail. There was no person named Han yeonwoo in their records.

I went to every places we’ve been but there was no yeonwoo in sight..I was almost at the brink of losing my sanity and giving up. It has been 4 weeks of me looking for her everywhere…

Until there was only one place that I haven’t been… her hometown.

I did what I have to do to go there. Prepared my things…

This is the last place that I have never been to. I hope I’ll find her there.

“The han’s have moved out just last week. They were very keen on moving out we did not even notice that they’ve left until Sunday’s mass. Han’s never failed to attend the mass ” the neighbour said.

That was it.

That was all I needed to lose my sanity. I cried. Crying would be an understatement. There was too much to feel, too much just too much that all I wanted was beg someone to rob the air out of me. It was mainly my fault, if only I had the will to disregard sajangnim that night. If only I wasn’t too engrossed with my own desires, If only I’ve payed more attention to her, maybe I would have answers by now…

I came back to seoul with hopes that I could still find her. See her, or even have a glimpse of her. I no longer wish to be with her.i know it’s my fault. I just want to see her and have reason, have explanations as to why she left me.

Months. Within those times, I found myself talking to myself at night more like talking to my proposal ring. That was supposed to be on her ring finger now.

3 months to be exact I still continue doing my job but because of that all of my works are being rejected. My songs are not just meant for EXO, neither to any sment artists.

I’ve been a living dead.

Up until now, it has been a year and a half, I keep on waiting for her, who knows right? It’s not wrong to give up right? I keep on smiling though, I can no longer let it affect me or else I’ll be jobless. Yes I often blank out, stare somewhere, or just doze off. Just like today…

“yah hyuung hyuuuuuuung!!! Earth to hyung!!” sehun was calling me multiple times and I did not even notice..

“oh what? Sorry hahaha=D” I smiled widely and faced

“I think this is for you the messenger was about to send it to you but since I was there and wanted to see you I told them I’ll be the one to send it to you.”

“thanks..why do you wanna see me?”

“hyung I like this girl I’ve seen at the coffee shop just adjacent to our building. She’s so cute and please don’t tell this to anyone. I beg you.. we’ve been seeing each other for some time now….”

“so…”

“is it possible for me to ask you a favour? Can you please make a song for her?”

“sure hahaah just get a piece of paper and write down what you wanted too tell.just give it to me tomorrow”

“thanks you’re the best.” Sehun went out my office and I was left with the package.

There was no sender indicated but only a date. It was given last 6 months but it was also stated to give it after another six months. Oh well whoever gave this, surely, a little bit out of the norm.

As I opened the box, there I saw a CD-rom, pencil, eraser, an mp3 player, and a folder.

Inside the folder were music sheets..

Unfnished music sheets..

Music sheets that smelled familiar.

I only know one person who personally scents her music sheets

Yeonwoo…

Painful memories came back as fast as a bullet train.

It was rapid yet vivid.

I grab my earplugs and opened the mp3. There was only one song…

To_baby_boy…

(haha forgive me guys I just wanted to make a little effort since it’s chanyeol we are talking about so I made a very short song xD just imagine that it was made by yeonwoo xD this was rushed by the way. i actually made a video of this song but f yeah youtube .)

Never have been there once before…

But there’s this one thing I know for sure

I’ll be watching you as far as I can go

Up above or down below…

Tears. More tears. Her voice was rash.

I will always be there forever with you…

Although things will change this I can promise you

The spark we made will forever remain as fire

Even if I ran out of life…

No! Please tell me I am getting the wrong idea here. Please.

I got my laptop and inserted the CD-rom

“hi baby, how are you? sorry for calling you like that...i shouldn't have done that. Are you okay? I’m sorry for leaving you like that..” and the speech goes on… but I can no longer care.. what I care about was my baby in a hospital gown, with almost bald scalp and tubes connected to her nose with her blood flowing in it.

“I’m sorry baby I can’t tell you. I’ve been meaning to tell you that I’m diagnosed with stage 4 leukaemia but seeing how happy you are I just can’t. I rather you hate me than pity me. I’m probably dead once you received this package. Just… I love you and please be better without me. Promise me you’ll forget any painful memories with me just keep the happy ones. Okay?”

Those were the final words and the video ended.

Guess I’ll be stuck with writing songs just to forget.

-------

A/N:

here goes my nothingness xD

wat is layp?

BLAME THE RAINNNNNNNNNNNN

hopeyoulikeit