A/N: here goes the first chapter, hope you guys enjoy! :)

001.

It's been 4 years. 4 years without him, 4 years without his voice, his scent, his smile...

4 years had passed so fast, and our child, Jaehyun is 4 years old now. Jaehyun was stronger than I thought. He never asked me about his father before, even though he knew his father never appeared in his life.

Today is Jaehyun's first day to pre-school. Of course, as a mother, I will be extremely nervous.

"Jaehyun-ah," I called as I walked around the house searching for the little monkey with his school uniform on my hand.

"Jaehyun-ah, where are you?" I called again, still can't found him. As I walked up to the stairs, I heard kid's giggles from the bathroom. The door was partially open and I could heard gigglings.

"Kim Jaehyun, how many times I had told you that stop hiding in the bathroom?" I yelled as I walked to the bathroom.

Jaehyun immediately stood in front of me with his head looked down on the ground and his hands behind his back. I squat down to his height  in front of him and wipe off his sweats from his forehead. He looked up to me with his puppy eyes.

"Mommy, can I stay home? I don't want to go to school." He said with his low voice and bit his lips after that.

"Baby, look. You will meet a lot of friends once you go to school and you will learn something too." I smiled and helped him to wears his school uniform. Then, he looked at me with a helpless expression.

"Done! There's my handsome Jaehyun." I said once I finished button his button on his uniform.

"Do I really have to go?" Jaehyun looked down on the ground again and playing with his fingers.

"Yes. We are running out of time now, so let's get your bag and ready for school." I stood up and holded his hand and walked to the living room.

"Good morning!" A voice greeted us as we were still walking down from the stairs. He is none other person, Oh Sehun, my cousin, my mom's stepsister's son.

"Uncle Sehun!" Jaehyun called and threw my hand away and ran towards him. Sehun opened his arms and hugged Jaehyun up.

"Are you ready for school, little fella?" Sehun asked and pinched his cheek. Jaehyun's face changed immediately after he heard the word 'school'. I lean against the wall watching these kiddo uncle and nephew and smiled.

I imagined what if Jongin was still here playing with Jaehyun? Jaehyun has a daddy to calls everyday. But these not never gonna happens again, ever.

"Noona, noona." Sehun called and waken me from my imagination.

"Hey." I smiled at him.

"Mommy, you're day-dreaming again." Jaehyun pointed at me. Then, I walked beside them and fixed Jaehyun's hair with my hand.

"Thinking about him again?" Sehun asked me with a very low voice, of course which only me and him will heard. I will never imagine how my life gonna looks like if Sehun wasn't here with me all the times. He is a nice guy, a little brother who always understands his cousin, his friends. If it wasn't him, I don't know how would I gonna live with a kid. He was the one who stayed beside me when I was having the worst moment of my life, asking me to stay strong. After Jongin's death, I have to took over his place in the Kim's family company which is a huge company in Asia. Gladly, I have Sehun's helps.

I smiled weakly at him. Obviously, he knew what was going on my mind.

"It's been 4 years, noona." He let Jaehyun down from his arms and fixed Jaehyun's collar.

"I know. At least I'm not crying, right?" I patted his back and Jaehyun was looking at me.

"Mommy, I saw you crying last night." Jaehyun said. It's true. I was missing him again. I missed him, so much.

Sehun looked at me with his dissapointed face. I let him down, really.

"Noona..." He called.

"I'm strong, alright? It just happened, I can't control at all." I tried to explain, to be sure that Sehun was okay.

"Noona..." He called again.

"I'm fine, okay? Don't worry about me. Jaehyun is last for school now, we have to go." I picked up Jaehyun's bag from the floor and walked to the door, holding my tears back.

hey there!

the first chapter is out! woohoo~

well, im sorry that its just that short..

i will try and update longer ones on next chapter okay?

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thank you! ^^