"I met other people beside you, but everytime, as if it's natural, I went through a breakup."

"I thought something like love would never come again, but you came to me. You appeared before me."

 

It's been a few weeks since that breakup with Hara.  I still remember it clearly.

 

It was cloudy that day, like it was about to rain.  We both agreed to meet up at a cafe near her company building.  We usually would order a cake to share, but this time we each ordered a small cup of coffee.  The atmosphere wasn't good for cake anyway.

We tried at a conversation as we drank our coffee, but the air around us was drenched in awkwardness.  We knew why we were there.

"So," Hara set the mug down and smiled awkwardly at her cup.  "About, you know.."

"Yeah."  I my own mug and bit my lip.

"Our relationship is getting a little complicated.  Since we're singers.  Of different companies."  She mimiced me in her own cup.  Her eyes remained glued to the table.

I nodded.  "We never see each other anyway, and it's inconvenient, so it'd be better off if..."

"We just break it off."  Hara finished quietly.  "It's not that I don't like you, really.  I really like you.  You're kind to me.  It's just---"  She couldn't seem to finish as she got up.  "I'm sorry.  Really.  I.. hope I'll see you sometime."  She gave one last apologetic expression before walking away, and leaving.  She turned around the corner and disappeared.

 

"I'm sorry too,"  I murmured, and my eyes became transfixed on my toes.  "We were preparing for it.  We saw it coming.  We don't hate each other."

Yes, I've had a lot of girlfriends.  Too many, even.  Even Doojoon once mentioned I couldn't count the amount of girls I've dated with my fingers and toes.  Countless girls, and just as many breakups.  Of course I should have gotten used to it by now, but I guess the experience wasn't enough.  Everytime I get dumped, or even vice versa, it feels like they took a little shard of my heart with them.  Even this recent one.  We had nothing against each other.  It was for the sake of our jobs.  but still, it hurts.  Now I feel like there's one speck of a shard left in my chest, where my heart used to be.  I don't think I can handle anymore.  I really can't.

I lifted up my hands and feet.  Did I really have more girlfriends than this?

"Yah.... are you awake?" Gikwang appeared in the hallway, rubbing his eyes.  He held his pillow between his legs.

"Ah... yeah."

"Don't tell me your sulking about Hara again...?"

I didn't answer, and Gikwang smiled lazily.  "You'll get over her, trust me.  I remember when my last girlfriend cheated on me.  It hurt a lot.  But then I realized that it meant she wasn't the one for me."  He paused for my reply, but when I didn't, he sighed.  "Just go to bed now, will you?  It's two in the morning."

He disappeared into the hallway, and I leaned my head back to look at the ceiling, and closed my eyes.

Oh god.  I can't even think right now.  What will happen after this?

And right there, I out.

~~

"Junhyung, watch this part.  It's really funny!"

I opened my eyes, and I was sitting on the same couch I fell asleep in.  The TV was showing some kind of drama, and I blinked.

Next to me was a young girl, maybe a few years younger than me, I don't know.  Her hair fell down in glossy waves over her shoulders, and the light reflected so brightly I couldn't pay attention to what color it was.  She wore an over-sized t-shirt and loose shorts, with striped fuzzy socks.  Her delicate hands were clasped over .  I couldn't see her eyes.  My vision kept blurring out.  But one thing stood out in particular.  A beautiful diamond ring, on her wedding ring finger.

"Uh, excuse me."  I prodded her shoulder, but she paid no attention.  She picked up the remote and turned off the TV.  She smiled and cuddled next to me.

"Can I sleep on your shoulder?"

I was at a loss for words, and managed a nod.

She rested her head on my left shoulder.  "Good night, Junhyung.  Saranghaeyo."

~~

"How'd you sleep last night?  I heard you were sulking again."

"Hm?"  I looked up at Yoseob as he stood over me, holding a bowl of kimchi stew.

I struggled to remember.  "I had a dream."

"Oh really?"  Yoseob took a mouthful of stew.  "You know what they say.  60% of dreams tell the future."

Yoseob didn't say another word as he finished his breakfast.  I just looked to my left, where the girl was sitting.  I smiled.

 

Huh.