Anxiety
⇨Namjoo Oneshots⇦Title: Anxiety
Pairing: Sungyeol x Namjoo ~ YeolJoo
It was 3:39 in the morning, and Namjoo couldn't seem to get even just a little bit of shut eye. Her eyes kept fluttering open, and even the quietest of sounds seemed to bug her. A tick of the clock, the crack of the TV, and the sound of the air flowing through the vent seemed to urge her to stay up. How to fall asleep? Namjoo really didn't know how. She had tried all the methods she knew such as counting sheep or breathing deeply. She had even rubbed her ankles to help with the blood circulation. Nothing seemed to help.
"Ugh." A frustrated groan escaped her lips as she pulled her pillow over her head. Her eyes were aching to close, but sleep still wouldn't take her.
Was it because she was anxious? Probably. Her heart kept racing as she thought about the skit she had to do the next day in her class. She didn't want to go to school. She felt sick to the pit of her stomach just at the thought of giving any sort of presentation.
Anxiety attacks. That was her biggest fear. She'd been having them a lot lately. They came out of nowhere, and Namjoo often didn't see them coming. One minute she would be fine, the next, she would be gasping for breath, clutching onto her chest.
Namjoo shook the thought out of her head. She didn't want any anxiety attacks to happen at all.
--
The next time Namjoo had checked the time, it was 7:00 AM. That was the time she usually got ready for school. She had managed to overthink throughout the whole night.
She stood up, immediately wincing when she felt a headache from standing too fast. Wow, it was already a bad start to her day.
She trotted over to her bathroom, checking her face. She had bags, how great-- not really. Makeup would be able to conceal it. She did her morning routine and got dressed before heading to school.
-- *skip to skit presentations* --
Namjoo sat in her seat, squirming uncomfortably. Her heart was beating rapidly in her chest. Presentations were starting, and she was getting super nervous. She couldn't even focus on the group presenting because she was horrified. Presentations were her weakest point.
When the group finished presenting, Namjoo held her breath. Please, please don't let me be chosen. Those were the words that ran across her mind. She felt like crying.
Suddenly one of her group members raised their hand, "We'll present next!" She volunteered. Namjoo could only stare wide eyed and jaw dropped at her classmate. Namjoo's eyes darted towards the door. Maybe she could run--
Her friend grabbed her arm, "Namjoo, come on." It was too late.
Namjoo was standing before the class, and her knees began to wobble. God, how she hated seeing everyone stare at her.
"Namjoo! Pay attention, it's your line." Namjoo felt a jab at her rib. She hadn't realized her group had started presenting already.
"O-Oh..." Namjoo stuttered before speaking up her line in the script. Her voice shook with every word she uttered. How embarrassing.
The skit continued on well, but Namjoo constantly kept forgetting her lines because of how fast her mind was racing. The glares she earned from her group mates didn't seem to help. God, how she wished the presentation was over already.
When their scene had finally ended, Namjoo was ready to run back to the safety of her seat when--
"Namjoo barely did anything. All she did was say a few words." Lee Sungyeol, one of the smartest and most talkative students in the class spoke.
Namjoo felt her eyes feel heavy,
if she blinked, she was sure a few tears would fall. She was getting called out, humiliated in front of her whole class. "Yeah," some of the class agreed, or "No, she did fine." That was all Namjoo heard, but her mind only latched onto Sungyeol's negativity.
"You hear that, Namjoo?" Mr. Choi asked, "Let's redo it then. Take it from the top, people. Honestly, I wasn't paying attention the first time, so a redo is quite necessary."
That was when Namjoo lost it. A loud gasp escaped her lips, and she quickly rushed to her teacher.
"I can't breathe, I can't breathe..." She gasped, her whole body trembling.
"Okay, okay..." Mr. Choi seemed unsure of what to do.
And with that, Namjoo quickly ran out of the room. Her heavy steps echoed through the empty halls as she made her way to the women's restroom.
"Namjoo, wait!" She heard her friend Chorong call.
Namjoo didn't turn back though. She simply kept at her escape until she was in the corner of the bathroom, secured between the wall and the paper towel dispenser.
"Namjoo..." Chorong called, finally catching up to her, "Are you alright?"
Namjoo shook her head in reply, her hands trembling, her chest heaving up and down as she tried to calm herself.
"You'll be alright, Mr. Choi told me to go after you. Take deep breaths." Chorong instructed.
Namjoo nodded, and did as told. Chorong stared at her, concern plastered on her face. She patiently waited.
"I..." Namjoo's voice cracked, and she hung her head low, "I got nervous... Presentations aren't my strong point. It was hard just presenting the skit, but being called out by Sungyeol made it worse."
Chorong nodded in understanding, "I see. You did fine though. Sungyeol shouldn't have done that. He needs to understand that some people aren't very good at these things."
Namjoo nodded, "Yeah... That idiot." She then turned to the mirror, "I look like a mess right now... I don't want to go back to class."
"Take all the time you need." Chorong urged. Namjoo could still feel Chorong's strong desire to return to the room however.
"It's fine, you can go." She offered, "I'll be alright."
"I don't want to leave you." The older replied.
Namjoo sighed, "Fine, let's just go back together then."
--
Namjoo hesitated in front of the door. They were planning on going inside silently, but the door was locked, so they had to knock.
"Oh no." Namjoo whined. The attention was sure to be focused on her now.
When the door unlocked, and Namjoo entered the room, all eyes were on her. Even when she sat down, she could still feel curious gazes settled on her back. She really wished she could disappear.
--
Namjoo found herself walking alone, avoiding everyone after the class had ended. She was so embarrassed about the situation, that she felt she could never show her face again.
"Hey." Namjoo suddenly found Sungyeol standing in front of her. He was looking down at her, but Namjoo didn't bother to raise her head.
She wasn't in the mood to talk, especially not to him. She walked around him, exchanging no words.
"Rude." She heard him comment as he followed after her. She snorted. Rude? He was the rude one for calling her out infront of their whole class.
"Leave me alone." She stated. She wasn't even facing him, but her words were clearly directed towards Sungyeol.
Sungyeol, being the stubborn and persistent idiot, did the opposite of her request. He grabbed at her wrist, making her look at him.
"Not until you tell me what happened during class." He said.
Namjoo's eyes drifted elsewhere, "Forget it."
Sungyeol only tugged at her wrist, causing her to jerk closer to him, "An anxiety attack, right? What triggered it?"
The corners of Namjoo's lips lifted, a scoff escaping , "You already knew that it was an anxiety attack, yet you still are asking me these things."
"Just answer the question." He ordered.
"You." She simply answered. She watched as his expression contorted into confusion, before turning to walk off.
Only a few steps away, Sungyeol jogged up to her. "Me? I don't get it."
"You and your stupid comment triggered it." She muttered, "Now go away, please."
"Well, it was true. You didn't do much--"
"The work I'm doing is in my head. Trying to stop anxiety attacks is tough, and I'd rather put more effort in keeping sane than in doing my best at a skit we're not getting graded on." Namjoo muttered, "You wouldn't understand."
Namjoo let out a bitter laugh, tears streaming down her cheeks at her frustration. Sungyeol stared at her before slowly reaching out to cup her face. He wiped her tears with his thumbs.
"Sorry... You're right, I guess I don't understand." He apologized, "Seeing you suddenly have a mental break down worried me though... You should open up to me."
"You're crazy." She snorted, pushing him away from her, "You humiliated me infront of the class, and you want me to open up?"
"Yeah?" Sungyeol blinked.
"Better luck next time."
"Namjoo, please." He insisted, "I want to help you get through these. I have anxiety too. It's just I haven't had an anxiety attack in a long while. I think I can help you."
Namjoo observed his face. He looked quite sincere. "Alright.."
He smiled, "Good then. I'll be your counselor."
Namjoo let out a soft laugh before mumbling beneath her breath, "I doubt you'd be a good one."
"Huh? What was that?" Sungyeol asked, leaning down to look at her face.
"N-Nothing." She stammered, face red.
"Thought so." He smirked, pinching her cheek, "You're cute, did you know that?"
"Shut up. You're trying to kiss up to me, aren't you?" She rolled her eyes, "Anyway, you better be a good counselor. The last time I had a friend counsel me, she caused the anxiety attacks instead of stopping them."
"Maybe," he said with a playful grin, "Hey, I'll stop them, alright? I've got some brains on how to deal with them."
"I'm sure you do." She laughed, nudging his shoulder lightly.
Sungyeol smiled, "Yep... So, are you up for some food?"
Plot idea inspired by my own experience of having an anxiety attack in the middle of presenting a skit. Unfortunately, I'm presenting another skit tomorrow. I'm currently praying that nothing goes wrong or that my group ends up presening on Monday or Tuesday. sobs.
Anyway, I personally am not satisfied with this oneshot, but I hope you guys enjoyed it nonetheless. Btw, if you guys are wondering why the oneshots in this collection are short, it's because I only have so little time to put a story together.
I'm kind of back! ^^ Oneshots from "Countdown" were transferred into this collection.
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