To say that the next day was worse than the day before would be an understatement. Taemin fell asleep for about three hours and luckily he didn't get any nightmares but he was so tired the next day and his arms hurt and this time it wasn't the soothing kind of pain, no this pain made him wince every time his cuts came in contact with anything at all. It even hurt to wear a long sleeved shirt but Taemin knew he didn't have any other choice.

And as if that wasn't enough, Jongin had called twenty eight times and sent him nineteen messages, all of them wondering if he was okay and if something happened. Since Taemin didn't want to worry him and didn't want to drag him into all this, he decided to lie.

'I'm sorry for not answering and making you worried, I fell asleep early yesterday. I have to hurry up and go so I can't tell you the details of what happened but I'm fine so don't worry :)'

Well he didn't really lie that much, he just decided to not tell the truth. He didn't want to put anyone into his problems anymore, he would have to fix this alone if it was possible. 

Taemin stayed in his room until the manager came to get them and didn't bother with breakfast or hiding the fact that he was tired.

The ride to SM took half an hour and in the meantime Taemin tried to figure out how to hide his scars since they're going to do a photoshoot. He was starting to regret doing them but it seemed like a good idea the day before. Maybe some bb-cream could hide them and if not then he could only hope for a long sleeved sweater.

Sighing, Taemin put his head on the window and closed his eyes in hopes of getting a few minutes of sleep. Just as he was beginning to doze off, the van stopped making him flinch awake and look outside the window just to see the SM building. As they got off and headed inside, Taemin felt as if the fans outside the building was looking at him as if they saw right through his clothes to his scars, as if they could see what a freak he is for liking a guy instead of a girl. That of course wasn't true but that's how Taemin felt the moment the fans spotted them. 

They got inside and was led to the make-up room to get dressed and get their make-up done. Some stylists came with three different clothing themes for each of the members and told them what clothes to put on first before they were ushered to change behind different curtains. Taemin had some luck on his side today since two of the shirts he got were long sleeved but the third one was a short sleeved button up. He would have to take the bb-cream when they were going to get the make-up done after they've changed.  

And he did. As they got their make-up fixed, Taemin carefully put the cream in his pocket when no one was looking. 

They started the photoshooting and did what the director told them. But it was all a fake act. The smiles and skinship and happy faces were all fake, of course they made it look real but the body language was too awkward. If the director told them to stand closer they would take a step forward or back and go closer so they didn't have to touch Taemin in any way but still made it look like they were standing closely. And that really hurt.

The shot for the second outfit went well too but it was at the third one that it stared to get bad. It was at the third outfit when it stared to go down. Taemin had the short sleeved button up and the bb-cream didn't cover everything; faint red marks were still visible but there was nothing to be done about it. 

Unluckily for Taemin, in this shoot they had to put their arms around each other's shoulders but he was happy he didn't have to stand beside Kibum for this one since Kibum would surely freak out from being touched by such a disgusting person. Taemin stood at the far right and lightly put his arm on Minho's shoulder to not put much pressure on his arm and Minho put his arm around Taemin's waist. Taemin could feel that Minho was a bit tense but they all smiled like nothing was wrong at all, or well, everything went well at that moment until Jonghyun, who was at Minho's other side, talked to Minho who turned his head and was met with some barely noticeable red lines on Taemin's arm before Taemin pulled his arm away a bit in hopes for Minho not seeing.

Minho on the other hand wasn't sure of what he saw. Had that been marks from a rubber band or something? But they were only on the underside. Minho shrugged it off as nothing serious because it didn't cross his mind of what Taemin's been doing to himself, or it may be that he didn't want to think about how far they pushed him with this ignoring thing.

Soon the photoshoot ended and they got twenty minutes break before next schedule. Taemin hurried to change back to his clothes and to the safety of the long sleeves. He felt relieved that he made it through the entire shoot without messing up. He changed back to his clothes and went out to the closest restroom to wash away the bb-cream so it wouldn't mess up his sweater. 

As Taemin opened the door to the restroom, he got a shock from seeing Jongin in there. Like come on! The person he's tried avoiding out of the like fifty artists is in this restroom of all the twenty restrooms. What are the odds?!

"Taeminnie! There you are, I was getting a bit worried about you about yesterday", Jongin said and went over to hug Taemin, who was tense, but wrapped his arms around Jongin's neck.

"Sorry for not calling you, I had a bit to do and I was tired yesterday so I slept early", Taemin mumbled. Jongin loosened his grip a bit to look at Taemin.

"So what happened? Are they still mad or...?" And that's when Taemin started panicking on the inside. Should he tell him the truth and get him involved in this mess or should he lie to keep Jongin out of it? 

"Uhm..." Only by looking in Jongin's hopeful eyes, Taemin got his answer. "They actually  opened up a bit , we discussed everything and they realized it's not so bad. We're back on talking terms again even though it's still a bit awkward with the skinship but there's nothing to worry about", Taemin said with a happy voice and from the way Jongin smiled, it seems like he believed it.

"That's great! I'm glad you're getting along again. I felt kinda guilty since I'm the reason they are mad but now everything will be okay. You'll be okay", Jongin said in a relieved voice and his smile was really happy that Taemin felt guilty for lying. 

'You're wrong Jongin, everything won't going to be okay, it's only getting worse. I just know it', Taemin thought and had to fight the tears from forming in his eyes. Jongin pulled Taemin to his chest and kissed his hair gently. Moments like these were Taemin's favourite but now he just wanted to get away from Jongin before more lies would slip out. 

"I think I have to go", Taemin said as he backed away a bit. "My break is almost over and I need to be on time." Jongin looked disappointed but didn't argue.

"Okay. I'll text you later then." Jongin kissed Taemin's lips once before Taemin gave him a smile and walked out. He was lucky the corridors were empty so no one would see the tears he fought to keep from falling or how pained his face was.

'I'm sorry Jongin, but this is for your own good'. 

Taemin walked a bit to not take any risks of running unto Jongin again and when he was sure he wouldn't, Taemin leaned his back against the wall to support his wobbly legs. He felt in his pocket and took out the broken mirror piece he put in his pocket that morning. Taemin didn't know why he took it with him but now it feels like he won't make it through the day without it. 

Taemin stood there looking at the sharp object, debating whether to give in or not... 

                                   *********************************

I'm soooooo sorry for not updating but I just can't seem to find inspiration but I promised myself that I would finish this before my winter break ends and it's the last day today so here it is. I'm sorry if it was a bit boring but I didn't know what to write and getting to see how Taemin thinks seemed like a good idea when I started on the chapter... Anyway hope your Christmas and new year were good! I'll try to come up with some ideas that makes me want to write so I'll try to update at least once a month (notice: ILL TRY). Anyway comment and tell me what you think ^^