Nothing went right for Taemin today. At breakfast no one talked, at their schedules he kept doing mistakes and guess if he got scolded. The only thing that kept him from breaking down was Jongin and his reply to Taemin's message. 

 

 

Taemin had agreed meeting up with Jongin at EXO's dorm after his schedule ends at 6 pm. It was now a quarter left of the radio program they were guesting in. It went pretty good, Taemin didn't talk unless he was asked to but no one questioned his silence.

 

When it ended and no one was around, SHINee let their smiles fall. It was hard to fake a smile for such a long time but they got used to it after being an idol for a while and have to smile and act happy so the fans would be happy. 

 

Taemin got his bag with the clothes he used earlier and headed out. No one asked him where he was going since their ride wasn't here yet but he didn't even think they would, they barely even talked to him.

 

It was a good half an hour walk to EXO's dorm but Taemin didn't have anything against it. He had time to think alone without anyone disturbing him, especially the fans since it was getting dark and he had his black hoodie on so it would be hard to see him. Taemin listened to music on the way which helped him keep all the noise from the street out. 

 

'How am I going to live with them if they won't even talk to me?' Taemin thought. 'I don't even understand their problem. It's not like I've changed, this has always been me so what makes me different from before they found out?

 

Taemin stopped walking when something caught his attention; a couple holding hands while walking with their friends. Everyone was smiling and talking. Taemin couldn't help but feel jealous and continued walking.

 

'It must be nice to be able to be with your friends and lover at the same time and having fun.' Taemin smiled sadly at the thought. 'It really would be nice. And it would also be nice to talk to my hyungs like before. Did I really do the right thing in choosing Jongin over them...?' Taemin started to doubt his choice again but remembered that if his hyungs really loved him then they would support him no matter what.

 

'I should really stop those thoughts, I'm happy with Jongin. With time everything will be better... I hope.' Taemin stopped thinking about everything and just listened to his music. 

 

When he reached EXO's dorm he knocked on the door and Jongin opened a second later, as if he was waiting in front of the door, and hugged Taemin tightly. Taemin was grateful for that, he had longed to this warmth of his boyfriend's body holding him tightly. He missed the feeling of being safe. 

 

But it ended quickly when Jongin pulled away.

 

"Come in, you're cold." Taemin wouldn't even have noticed he was cold if Jongin hadn't pointed it out, he just felt warm from Jongin but he went in without a word. He took of f his jacket in silence and that bothered Jongin since Taemin usually complains about his hyungs as soon as he gets inside. He knew they had a big fight but he would still complain about how unfair they are. "Are you okay?" What a stupid question but that was what popped up in his head. 

 

Taemin didn't reply, instead when his shoes were off, he jumped into Jongin's arms and stayed there for a good minute.

 

"I've missed you. I've missed being in your arms like this. Please hold me for a while." Taemin's voice was shaky as if he was going to cry but there was no tears in his eyes. Jongin didn't say anything, he just held Taemin closely and waited till he relaxed. When he felt Taemin relax and stop shaking, he started talking.

 

"Let's go to my room, it's better to talk there", Jongin said softly but Taemin only held onto him harder. "It's okay, just come with me." Taemin slowly let go and Jongin led him to his room with his on arm around Taemin's waist. Some of EXO was sitting in the living room when the couple walked past. They could see something was wrong with Taemin but Jongin shook his head when he saw them wondering.

 

Inside Jongin's room Taemin sat on the bed and looked at his legs while Jongin closed the door and then sat beside him. They sat in silence and Jongin didn't know what to do so he simply waited for Taemin to talk.

 

"You know...", Taemin's voice startled Jongin since its been quiet for a while. He looked at Taemin and saw him staring at the wall in front of him. "I've been wondering how it would feel to be together without someone judging us. How would it be to have fun with our friends and they wouldn't feel awkward around us?" Jongin didn't know how to answer that since he also didn't know how it felt but he knew that wasn't what Taemin meant.

 

"I'm sure they'll get over it, don't think about it too much", Jongin said and rubbed circles on Taemin's back. "I know it can be hard when you live together and all but it won't make any difference if you think."

 

"I know. But it's hard. When I'm alone the thoughts comes by themselves. I can't stop it. I don't want to care since they don't seem to care about me but I can't stop thinking about it. I'm afraid to do something I might regret...", Taemin's voice cracked at the end. Jongin couldn't take that broken voice and those tear filled eyes so he grabbed Taemin and laid back on the bed, letting Taemin's head rest at his chest right above his heart.

 

"Please stop thinking like that", Jongin whispered. "I can't see you like this. You have to tell me when you feel like this or else this will turn out really bad." Taemin didn't say anything, he just laid there listening to Jongin's heart beat, the heart that beat for him. 

 

"I love you." Taemin didn't know why he said that but it felt needed. He lifted his head and caught Jongin's lips in a soft kiss. Taemin felt Jongin's heart beating faster and he felt better knowing he was the cause of it.

 

"I love you too", Jongin said when they broke the kiss. Jongin hesitated before he spoke again. "Do you want me to talk with them? Or if not me then maybe some of my hyungs?"

 

"No, I don't want to involve you in my problems. I can take it", Taemin said and forced a smile which Jongin immediately saw was fake.

 

"Please let me help you. Look at how you've become thanks to them. You need someone beside you, helping you. You can't take all this alone and besides it's my problem too since you're my boyfriend and I'm part of the reason why they're like that so please let me help you", Jongin pleaded. He didn't want to see Taemin in pain anymore. He would do everything to get him to feel better.

 

"Let's talk about this tomorrow", Taemin said and Jongin understood that Taemin didn't want his help and that hurt him. Without saying anything more, Taemin went under the blanket without changing and Jongin crawled in beside him with his arm around Taemin's waist. 

 

"Good night baby", Jongin said as Taemin pressed his back against his chest.

 

"Good night", Taemin whispered before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep with Jongin's warmth on his backside.

 

Jongin waited for a couple of minutes before he heard Taemin's even breath and slowly lifted his arm from his waist. Taemin didn't even stir and Jongin quietly went out from the room and saw his hyungs sitting around the kitchen table. Since they had a schedule today they didn't have time to eat properly so they made food now. Jongin went over to the empty seat between Minseok and Sehun. 

 

"Guys", he called and got everyones attention. "What should I do? Taemin doesn't want my help but I have to do something. They're ignoring him and he's hurting so much from it. I can't see him like that."  Jongin looked around and saw them looking at each other, looking if someone knew what to do.

 

"Why don't we just go and talk with SHINee? We can hear them out and see why they are so against it and maybe make them change their minds?" Baekhyun suggested.

 

"He doesn't want that. He doesn't want to get us 'involved in his problems'", Jongin said with a sight. "He's so stubborn. Can't you help me talk to him tomorrow?" 

 

"Why not now?" Sehun asked.

 

"He's sleeping right now. He fell asleep in some minutes. He must've been exhausted." Jongin was really worried for Taemin's health. He shouldn't have let him sleep without eating first.

 

"Don't worry, we'll fix this together either he wants it or not. We're a family and a family helps each other", Joonmyeon said and smiled reassuring at Jongin and Jongin could only hope for the best for tomorrow. 

 

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