Bzzt.

I twisted and turned in my bed, burying my face further into my pillow. Groaning, because something woke me up, I tried to fall asleep once more, because I needed it. I needed to sleep longer, or else, I would be a cranky idiot.

Bzzt.

There it is again. That sound. What is that? Is that my neighbour, using the lawnmower this early? This time, I grabbed my pillow, and placed them on my ears, creasing my eyebrows in annoyance. I hope he stops it soon.

Bzzt.

This time, I was getting curious. That's not a lawnmower. That sounds like.. a cellphone.

Wait, that's probably my phone!

Bzz--

"Hello, Luhan speaking." I said, my voice sounding raspy, and I even answered a little sloppily. I dragged my fingers through my hair, waiting for an answer.

But the thing I heard was.. a sniffle.

"Excuse me, hello?" I asked once more. Who is this? Who is sniffling while talking to someone? I cursed myself for not checking the caller-ID. I can't just pull the phone away from my ear, or else I might miss something.

I heard a whimper. "Hell--"

"Luha-an.." was what I heard, from a broken voice. A familiar, broken voice.

"Excuse me, who is this? How do you know my name?" I asked. I was getting confused. Who is this person?

"Luhan.. Luhan, please, I-I... I need you, please.." This time, my eyes widened. This voice was too familiar. "Luhan, c-can you hear m-me? H-Hyung?"

 

"Sehun?"

 

 

I was driving now, despite how early it was in the morning. Despite missing work, I would just make an excuse that I was sick. I needed to get to his place, fast. Something was wrong. Something happened.

The reason why I didn't recognize his voice at first, was because it has been too long. Ever since Sehun got married, I have been ignoring his calls, ignoring everything from him. He didn't know where I lived, if I lived with someone, or what happened. He really didn't know anything.

He knew why I left, though. He knew why THAT happened. I left because I was tired. Tired of my heart breaking every time I see their hands tangled, or their lips connected. I hated it. That was the night I left. I left after screaming at him, his girlfriend had to run away, because I was screaming too much. She didn't hear what I said, before I left. She didn't hear me admitting to Sehun that I loved him even before she came along. Only Sehun heard. After that, I never turned back, I moved away from Seoul, and went back to Beijing, living with my parents.

That didn't work. After I found myself growing tired of living with my parents, I quit my job in Beijing, and decided to move. I moved back to Seoul, but made sure that I wasn't even close to Sehun. Right now, I regretted it.

I was half an hour away from Sehun, and I still remembered where they live. 

I finally reached their house, quickly parking, and running up to his door. Before I could even knock, the door opened. The sight.. made my jaw drop.

Sehun was as pale as a ghost. His eyes were red, dark rings around them, and bags under them. His cheekbones were clearer than ever, his arms dangerously skinny. He was shaking. His lips dry, trembling.

"S-Sehun?" I said, my tone showing disbelief. Was this the man I left a year ago?

"Oh.. Luhan.." he whimpered, and threw himself into my arms, my eyes widening when my arms wrapped around him.

I could feel his ribs, poking my chest. I quickly pushed him away.

"Sehun, what happened?" I asked, as I was close to just breaking down. He looked... horrible.

"Jinri... She... She's dead, Luhan!" Sehun panicked, and collapsed to his knees.

Wait. 

"What?" I asked, disbelief still painting my tone. I lowered myself to Sehun's level, placing an arm around him. "She... how?" I asked.

I managed to get Sehun to his feet, pulling him over to the couch. As he sat down, he started sobbing in his hands. "Sehun, I need a story.. I.. I don't know what happened." I said softly, still holding him.

Sehun then inhaled shakily, and looked at me, his eyes bloodshot.

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"Sehun, go home." my boss said for the 5th time today.

I understand him. I looked tired, I haven't eaten like a decent human being, and often, my focus was on something else. I sighed, and looked up at my boss. It was almost a little too hard not to burst infront of him.

"Sir, I'm fine. I-I just wanna continue my work, if I may." I gave him a fake smile, and started typing numbers. I wasn't even sure what I was typing, I was really actually trying to look like I was working, so that my boss and others weren't gonna bother me, and start asking questions. Because I really wasn't in the mood anymore, everything around me hurt, and questions made it worse.

"Sehun, I'm seriously gonna fire you if you don't take atleast one week off. You need to set things straight with yourself, and come back when you feel you're healthier, and don't look like you're anorexic." he slammed a flat palm against my table, staring me right in the eyes. I was so ing tired of this, tired of everything.

"Sir, everything is honestly f--"

"Oh Sehun, get out of this office. I'm calling you when you can come back." he ripped off my clipcard with my name, and snached my office-keys. "Get out. Now."

I sighed, giving up. I raised myself from my chair, and started dragging my feet out of the office. All the while, I kept my head down, while my boss was walking infront of me, patiently stopping and waiting for me at times.

I got confused glances from others, but also releaved ones. As if they wanted me out. As if maybe five of them had complained about my skinny self, and how unmotivated I seemed. I tried not to notice the curious glances from my colleagues, but it was impossible. They were burning on me, my whole body on fire.

My boss pushed me into my car, and closed the door.

"Get home, rest, and I expect to see you a week later, okay?" he smiled, and asked one of the gate-guards to open the garage, to let me out. I twisted the key, until I heard the obnoxious vroom from my car. I drove out quickly from the garage, and headed home.

The reason why I was working myself to the bone lately, because me and my wife have not gotten along ever since Luhan left. Ever since his confession. Ever since the fact that I broke his heart unknowingly. I have tried over and over to drown myself in work, so that I wouldn't have to listen to her starting an argument with me, which ended up with me on the couch, and her in our bed, crying herself to sleep.

I love her. I mean, lately, I feel like I haven't loved her as much as I should. But I also feel like she doesn't love me. She's the one starting the arguments after all.

She had always brought up Luhan. Always. She had told me that I should contact him, which I tried, and failed with. She said I should try to contact his parents, and failed with that too. She said I should drive around, and look for him, because he just drove off, and could be anywhere. I did everything she said, and with pleasure, because I honestly wanted Luhan in my life, even though he had confessed something big to me.

I finally pulled up to our house, stepped out of my car, and locked it. I took steady steps up to the door, and unlocked it. I expected to find her in the couch, with the same, cold expression she has had every day since Luhan left, but no. All that was in that couch, was a CD, a note, and emptiness.

"Jinri?" I called out. I took off my shoes, and closed the door behind me. I slowly walked over to the couch, picking up the note, which read "Watch the DVD", which I quickly did.

When the DVD started working, all I saw was her hands fidgeting with what I suspect is a camera, until she sat in this couch. I looked closely at the screen, noticing that her cold expression held some worry behind it.

"Sehun.." was what she started with. I sat there, carefully listening.

"Lately... things haven't been the greatest between us. We're distant, you're always at work, while I am at home, thinking, stressing, and sometimes even crying. Sehun, everything in me hurts. My heart hurts. My head hurts."

I leaned back in the couch.

She went silent for some seconds. "Sehun.. I.. this is hard for me to say. I-I found something.. in our room, in the closet, in a box. I'm sorry that I snooped through your stuff, but I had to know something. I had to know if it was true."

"If what was true?" I asked the screen, as if she was here.

She held up a note, which had big letters "To: Luhan". My eyes widened in realization.

"Sehun.. I won't say what's on this letter, because it hurts enough as it is. But.. I won't stand in between you. That's why, my dear Sehun.." she whimpered. "I... I'm leaving."

I was already in tears, holding a fistful of my own hair. I was panicking.

"I'm gone, Sehun. I hope you'll be happier now, and maybe I will too."

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"She.. she was found later, in the streets, passed out. When they had gotten her to a hospital, they informed me, and I quickly went over. They.. they said she was i-in a deep coma. B-Because of the state she was in, she collapsed, while she was trying to find s-somewhere else to go, to run a-away to." Sehun spoke, his voice shaking.

"A.... And then.. m-maybe a month l-later.. her pa-parents had decided to pull t-the plug on her, to t-try to shock her awake.. she s-struggled for t-two days, and today, I-I..." he broke down, and hugged around me, screaming into the nape of my neck.

"You got the news.. that she was gone." I whispered, my expression blank, while his hands gripped the fabric of my shirt tighter, screaming and crying.

 

~           ~           ~           ~           ~

 

I stayed with him, holding him in my arms often, while he was crying. I really didn't have anything to say. I was blank. I couldn't say anything that could possibly make him feel better, I couldn't do anything. I could just be there, which I wasn't after they got married. I had so much to make up to, and now was the time to do it. I didn't want to loose Sehun again, I didn't.

Today was the day of her funeral, we were both sitting in the livingroom of my house (because he couldn't be in that house anymore), our black tuxes on. Both me and Sehun were blank today, none of us spoke.

"Luhan, can you help me with my tie." was what Sehun decided to say, after 15 minutes with silence. I sighed, and turned to him.

"Sure." I said, or rather sighed. I felt empty, but I bet he felt even more empty. I quickly grabbed his tie, and started doing the knot. By the time I finished, I looked up, only to see his empty, brown orbs staring back at me.

"Could you do mine?" I asked, and he nodded. He took the silk fabric between his fingers, admiring it for a second. After a minute or two, I started snapping my fingers infront of him. "Sehun?" I said.

"You still have the tie. You still have it, even though I broke your heart, even though I made your life a living hell. You still have it." he spoke harshly, and started tying the knot. I stared at him, my eyes a little wider. As he finished, he looked at me. "Why do you still have it?" he asked bluntly.

I took the tie into my hands, and stared at the pattern. "Because, it reminds me of how we used to be. How we were so close. How everything was alright." I caressed the silk fabric, and looked up at him. "It reminds me of you. Of how you were with me through hard times." I sighed, and looked down at it again, trying to hold back a few tears. "Now.. it's my turn." I whispered.

Suddenly, Sehun pulled out a note from behind his back, which was folded. "When we're done with the funeral, I want you to read this." he said, and stood up. "Now, let's go."

 

~           ~           ~           ~           ~

 

Everyone bid their goodbyes and condolences to Sehun, as they started leaving. Sehun stared at the tombstone, as I leaned on a tree, fidgeting with the note in my pocket.

I pulled it up, and out of my pocket. I bit my lip nervously, and unfolded it. The first sight I was faced with, was "To: Luhan", which brought back the video he had watched. 

I started reading.

"Written the 12th of February, 2010

I don't know why I'm writing this, when I could actually just say this, but I'm a coward.
I'm in a complicated situation. I'm in love with someone who is very close to me. I don't know if I should follow my feelings or not.
A certain person learned me to do so. To follow my feelings. But I can't. It's hard, it hurts. Because the person that taught me this, is the one I'm in love with.. And now I really wanna tell you who this person is.
Hyung, it's you. It is you, Luhan. You're the one I love.
I can't tell you this, because you've shown your interest in someone else.
You've even told me her name. That's nice, she seems nice. I don't know her, but I know whoever catches your heart, is nice.
I want you to be happy, so I'm gonna suppress these feelings, even though I wanna tell them to you badly.
I don't know why I wrote this, it's as if I'm writing to no one.
But I know that one day, this will come in handy, and I'll give it to you, and maybe we'll both sit down, and laugh with our wives in the hooks of our arms.
I wish you all the happiness, and I hope I will experience the same one day.

~ Sehun"

Tears had welled up in my eyes by the time I was done with the letter. I hadn't noticed that Sehun joined my side, until he sighed a little loudly. I looked up at him, my eyes teary. 

Before I could say anything else, he pulled out another note. He unfolded it, and started reading out loud.

"My last wish is that Sehun makes Luhan happy, and that he shows his true feelings to him. I know that Sehun still loves Luhan, and I want them to marry, and to live happily ever after. That is my wish.
I want true love to blossom from my death."

I started crying hard, as he held me in his arms.

"Luhan.. my love for you.. never died." he whispered.

"H-How can you still l-love me? W-Why didn't you t-tell me?" I whispered, and started hitting his chest.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" he whispered. I looked up at him, tears streaming down my cheeks. "I want to fulfill her wish.. and my wish." Sehun whispered, and leaned down, capturing my lips.

I melted in the kiss, and as I closed my eyes, I saw Jinri, smiling at us.

She looked at us with adoration, as she whispered:

 

"Let the love blossom from my ashes."

---

 

There.

I'm done. I'm so done. I didn't even think "Please don't..." could get a sequel, but I somehow managed it.

Hope you guys like it, and hope you guys don't mind that I lended Sulli's real name as the girl Sehun married... she needed a name, and I didn't know what else to choose, and besides... Jinri is such a beautiful name.

Sorry. No, it isn't Sulli who died, it was my imaginary wifey for Sehun, Jinri.

 

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