It was a slightly overcast day, like always, although she did not mind. Days like this were perfect to her. The clouds and the rain were all welcomed by her especially on days that were not too chilly or windy. She did realize with the flip of the calendar that this is the first day of September. She had been in South Korea for 8 months.

Her quiet cup of morning tea was interrupted by a loud crash outside her kitchen window. She was only slightly concerned, having assumed it was just the neighbor kids playing outside. A quick peek out the window and all was confirmed. A large trash bin had been knocked over. Thankfully no injuries, no crying. Kids will be kids. Even though she had never had children, she heard this saying way too often, it had to be true.

A list of things to do today ran through her head. If she was to remember them they had better make there way onto some paper. She needed to go to the market and get the ingredients on her list. This afternoon would be her regular cooking lesson the the wonderful Halmoni that lived just two doors down. The lessons had been very helpful since her arrival to South Korea. The shops, the food, the cooking were all different. A cooking style she had not experienced back home. At first she thought, can I really learn something this new? But learned she had. She loved the new cuisine and the help from the neighbors and friends would prove to be invaluable. She will admit not every dish turned out as planned. Sometimes things were just bad. Although never tossed out, because even edible was good enough. In this respect the neighbors may have been too nice. Today she would learn the importance of rameyon cooking and the proper pot.

 

One year ago this slightly older woman had decided it was time for a change. She had led a happy life. lived in the same small town since birth. She knew almost everyone and almost everyone knew her. Her life was safe, secure and to her knowledge lacked only one thing. She felt that she had steadily grown invisible and boring. Each day just like the other. She longed to go somewhere where people didn't recognize her. Not because they could not see her, but because they had not yet met her . After saying good-bye to her youth, the ability to sleep well, to see far away or up close like she used to, just the ability to remember why she walked into a room and all the other little things in life that make you look forward to each day. She was ready for a change. Not that geography could change or halt these signs of aging, she felt strongly that she needed to kick start this next phase of her life. Her 50th birthday had come and gone. What was she waiting for?

Having been a long time fan of the Asian culture she decided this would be her destination. Years of watching Korean dramas and listening to KPOP had practically groomed her for this, or so she thought. She would eventually learn this lesson (albeit a little too late) but watching a particular group of people in the safety of your own home, does not make you one of them. Learning 20 or so Korean words does not prepare you to converse with them either. Still this was her goal and she had to make it happen. It would happen.

The almighty checklist began.

1. Acquire passport
2. Look for job opportunities in South Korea
3. Will I need a visa?
4. Where do you get a visa?
5. How long can you stay?
6. What's the weather like?
7. How much money will you need?
8. What kind of vaccinations are required?
9. Consider picking a country that does not require vaccination
10. How do you find an apartment?

As the list began to grow her fears began to disappear. Anticipation was building and her goal would soon be realized.

It may seem common to those in South Korea, that most Americans that come to their country to work, come to teach English. She would be no different. It was the best choice for her. After meeting some qualifications, criminal background check, etc... she would soon be packing and saying goodbye to all she had known, for a year that is. Whether that's too long or not long enough would remain to be seen. Once the actual flight had been boarded and she made the very long journey to her new temporary home, she would find out more about the job and what would be expected. She already knew the hours would be long, but weekends and some holidays off would be great for doing what she wanted. For this she also had a checklist.

She began going over the last year in her head. It had literally flown by. She went as far back as as when she stepped off the plane. It was January, it was Winter and it was colder than she had ever experienced. It would soon be painfully obvious that she did not pack well. She may have been at a disadvantage having just come from a place in the United States that typically had very mild temperatures. Winters were cold yes, but never snow. This slightly older lady would also realize shopping in Korea would be a dismal experience. Having never been the size of the average Korean, where would she find proper Winter clothing? Perhaps she would first search for a yarn store.

Those first days and then weeks were a jumble of moving into her tiny furnished apartment, meeting neighbors, finding her school and settling in. She did have some free time during this period and she wanted to experience as much of South Korea that she could. She visited most of the famous landmarks, the Blue House, Ggotji Beach and Jeju Island, to name a few. She really enjoyed walking down the "not so busy streets" in Seoul and on one rare occasion she found herself at a street temporarily blocked off for the filming of a movie. She was able to stay for hours, watching all the behind the scenes activities. Her time paid off because she actually got a close glimpse of one of her favorite actors, Song Joonki. This was his first major project after returning from his Army enlistment. He looked great and happy to be working. He was very gracious to his fans who stayed by his side. This was her first "best day" in South Korea. Many more "best days" would be added during her visit to this beautiful Asian country. 

Her dream of experiencing a huge Korean music concert would also be fulfilled. CNBLUE had been one of this lady's favorite groups. She had been a fan practically since they debuted. She kept track of them through the years, buying their music and DVD concerts. She and many other fans watched as they made it through their army enlistment. No matter who leaves, they would be silent as a band. First Jung Yonghwa and Lee Jonghyun. A year later Kang Minhyuk would enter followed by Lee Jungshin after a few months. The boys while not in the  army, stayed busy with modeling and acting, never letting the CNBLUE image falter. Shortly after Jungshin went in Yonghwa and Junghyun would be released. They were kept busy with press work, acting jobs, talk shows and writing. Lots of writing-music and lyrics. They had to prepare for the comeback of all time. Faithful fans had waited for several years to hear them sing and play together again.

That concert did happen. It made every headline, talk shows and broke records at fan events. Best of all, this slightly older lady was in Seoul for that comeback concert. It was amazing timing. She even attended a "fan event" with thousands of other faithful BOICE. She got some crazy stares as she stood proudly like every other Noona there. To be honest she was more like and Sugmo (auntie) and was very proud of this band and watching them grow up, as a fan of course. This fact didn't make her any less giddy when she found herself in front of each young man, hoping for an autograph. They had grown accustomed to having fans all over and of all ages. Thankfully they did not at all. They signed her fan items and seemed genuinely appreciative-as always.

Many more "best days" would be accumulated as time went by. She enjoyed the teaching job and had even adjusted to the hours. She had the mornings free and came to enjoy her time at the apartment complex, her neighbors and the sounds had become more and more familiar. She was lucky to be surrounded by the most wonderful people. There was one quiet man who kept to himself, but he didn't mind them and they didn't mind him.

 

Now that September had arrived, she looked forward to cooler days. Classrooms and students alike would be more comfortable. Cooler weather made her really crave ramyeon. She had discovered, while in South Korea, that this was a very popular dish any time of day and all throughout the year. The lady just had a habit of associating "soup" like dishes with colder days. Todays "ramyeon" cooking lesson would be wonderful. She had looked forward to learning how to make this popular Korean dish from Halmoni, whom she considered to be an expert. The kindest and most interesting neighbor happened to be the first person to invite her in for tea and a chat. It was only her fourth day at the apartments and feeling a bit lonely, it was nice to get this invitation. The lady felt less than impressive with the 20 or so Korean words in her vocabulary. The tea was nice, the conversation was...well, limited to say the least. From that day on they would be Halmoni and the American, two people who would eventually become very good friends. Bonding over tea doesn't always require words.

As usual she was given a prepared list of items to buy. Shopping at the local open air market would be the highlight of her morning. Unable to shake the instinct to be by herself, shopping alone was pleasant. She had learned it is not as embarrassing as shopping with Korean friends and looking foolish. Shopkeepers didn't usually mind be extra helpful with the Americans.

Even before moving to South Korea, the Lady had become fond of instant ramyeon. So making it fresh had to be a million times better. "Fresh is always best," Halmoni would say. With shopping complete and everything cleaned and ready to go, she knocked on her neighbors door, eager to get started.

Halmoni opened the door and although the greeting exchanged was typical, the lady noticed Halmoni looked more tired than usual. It was not totally unexpected that she was instructed to wash everything again. Try as she might, something was always lacking in her preparation. It was okay because she enjoyed her company and her diligence toward making everything perfect.

Chopping ceased and with water boiling everything was assembled in the cooking pot. She had used the pot quite often during her cooking lessons. Halmoni seemed to be fond of it as if no other pot would do. She wondered if it had sentimental value since it looked old, worn and well used but in a trusty irreplaceable way. The pot was like a good kitchen friend. The two woman cooked and ate and talked through the afternoon. Since one new little English and the other new very little Korean the conversations were often kept short. There were lots of smiles and gesturing. The lady had picked up on the fact that sounds were often used in place of words. This turned out to be very helpful.

 

The Winter days grew colder and time passed at a pleasurable pace. The end of the lady's year was coming up fast. She did not look forward to her time in South Korea ending. The people, the classes and the country itself had really grown on her. It saddened to think of leaving, so she put those thoughts off as long as possible.

The lady did think of renewing her contract and staying for another year. She actually wanted that very much. She had become visible. Maybe it wasn't that the people in this country saw her in a different way. The fact was clear, she saw herself in a different light and that has made the difference. Maybe she was ready to go home, just not willing to...yet.

Her visa would be running out and her decision had to be made. Was she going to stay? Everyday she would think about all the people and places she would miss. She would have the pictures in her scrapbook as well as those in her head. Available to flip through whenever she longed for this place. It didn't have to be the end, but just another beginning. If this year had taught her anything it was that she had strength to do whatever she wanted, even if she tried to convince herself otherwise-the evidence was there. This past year had also made her wiser and an infinitely better cook. The lady now spoke about a hundred words of Korean with confidence. She was NOT able to consume a bottle of SOJU on her own, but drinking with a friend was better anyway. There were still places she wanted to see in Asia.

Although she had learned to be creative when clothes shopping she found that with all the walking and the eating style of the Koreans to be helpful in losing some of her American fast-food weight. She felt better and looked better with just enough grey hair to be respectable.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. She asked, "who is it?" The reply was familiar, it was one of the moms from the complex. She looked sad and held her gaze to the ground as the slightly older lady opened the door. Then their eyes met and the moms earnest look made the lady's stomach sink. The mom came inside and they sat at the familiar table by the window. The lady heated some water for tea to help with the chill that came in with the mom. They awkwardly exchanged choppy sentences.

It did not take long for the lady to realize someone had died. She couldn't help but wonder about the special visit and this news. Although the mom and the lady had several chats over the past year, she was equally as close to everyone in the complex with the exception of...

Then it hit her. With much difficulty the mom was telling her that Halmoni, the lady she was so fond of, was in fact the person who had passed. It happened last night while she slept. The words that had been so difficult to understand were met with tears by both woman. The older lady expressed her sadness and asked if there was anything she could do? There must be something, she thought. The slightly older lady was completely unfamiliar with the mourning process. She knew that certain arrangements would be made. Halmoni's son and family would be arriving later today. They were flying in from Japan. She asked to be kept informed as the mom thanked her for the tea and left.

Silence. She sat in silence, crying for the loss of her friend. She felt sad thinking she had to leave this world alone. She let her thoughts drift as she remembered their first meeting. How the Halmoni was amused by the lady's confidence in traveling to a country some 5,000 miles away from everything she knew, but was afraid to go shopping at a fish market alone. What could be so scary at a fish market? The lady's 20 or so Korean words made her unable to pinpoint the exact fear. Gestures of large mouths with frightening teeth and bulging eyes on the fish as they lay on mounds of ice should have done the trick. This made Halmoni laugh and the lady herself laughed as well, realizing how ridiculous she must look. From that point on there was nothing they could not talk about, even with the limits of vocabulary. What the lady did not know, was that she helped Halmoni in return. The lady became the family she missed so much. Halmoni's son, wife and children had moved to Japan some time ago. Although he wanted her to go with them-she refused. She wanted to stay where she had been all her life. She also refused to be a burden to her son and his family.

Not a day had passed before arrangements had been made. The slightly older lady felt out of place and kept her distance even though she really wanted to help. She met the son and his family briefly when they first arrived. They were very cordial having heard about the American, over the past year. The slightly older lady was surprised they had such knowledge of her. She was happy to know that she had been a good friend to Halmoni. Her resolve to stay in South Korea would be bitter sweet, knowing she'd lost a good friend and one of her favorite things about living here.

The ceremony for the departed was sad. After doing some reading about Korean funerals she felt less nervous. She wanted to be strong and less of a burden to the family. The reading also gave her something to do and pass the time. Traditionally, black was worn. The oldest son took care of everything. He was in charge of the ceremonies. There was  visitation at the home. Although this was different than funerals back in the U.S., it was very respectful and she was glad to be able to be part of this. She entered the home of her friend as she had many times before, this time there were no smiles, no laughter. The photo on display was one she'd never seen. Halmoni was a beautiful lady. Proper respect was offered, a deep sincere bow to the son. People from the complex and family she had never met before came with envelopes of money and containers of food, lots of food.

The slightly older lady found herself at a small table with 2 children. She recognized them as the grandchildren she had heard so much about. They both had had English classes, so it was nice speaking her native Language with them. The children were quiet and well mannered. They were sad that Halmoni had died. She was kind to them and spoiled them every chance she could. They all three talked for a while and then the Lady made her way to her own apartment.

The long day welcomed the moon as it rose up in the sky, notice to all it was time to rest and get some sleep. The lady skipped her dramas that night and fell asleep dreaming of chopping vegetables and then chopping them again the right way. That made her smile.

The next Morning a knock at the door pulled her away from the familiar kitchen table. She had been stirring her tea and staring out the window. When she opened the door she saw the tall man, Halmoni's son. She invited him in. The man, who had also been learning English, spoke to her about his mother. They exchanged a couple of sweet stories. He explained, "she was very fond of you and enjoyed teaching you Korean cooking." "You were a good student," he added. Mother grew more and more impressed, adding "this was not an easy thing to do." Finally before he left, he handed her a package wrapped in a beautiful floral silk scarf. He was following specific instructions. He also handed her an envelope. She said good bye and watched until he left before opening the envelope. Inside was a letter that was hand written in Hangul but translated into English just below.

The words were kind and sweet. The lady cried again but promised this would be the last time. In the letter Halmoni spoke of sadness. The sadness she felt when her husband died and again when her son moved away. Then she spoke of courage. The courage she did not have to leave the home she'd known for so long. She also spoke of the pride she felt for her son for becoming a great man, husband and father. Although she did lack courage and did experience some sad times, she lived with no regrets. One of her favorite joys this past year was cooking with her American friend. She said, "You may never fully understand the Korean culture, but you do understand how to make a proper ramyeon." With that she said good bye, live a happy life wherever you are.

The lady unwrapped the scarf and opened the box. Upon looking inside she smiled. No tears from the lady this time, just that smile as she gazed out her kitchen window.

 

Weeks had passed and arrangements had been made for the lady to continue teaching. She renewed her visa and her contract for another year. She looked forward to Winter session and the colder weather itself. Warm clothes, sweaters and scarves were her favorite things. The courtyard was bustling on this day as the new tenant would be arriving. Halmoni's apartment was being let to a young Australian woman who would be teaching English as well. The lady knew how that first day can be. She had planned to welcome the newcomer and do all she could to make her feel at ease.

The lady wanted to give the young person enough time for her to settle in but something inside her said "go now," she may need to see a friendly face. Being an English speaker was just a bonus .The lady knocked on the door and cheerfully greeted the new girl. The door slowly opened. The shy face behind the door brightened immediately. The teachers smiled at each other and before she could make it through the doorway the young girl hugged the lady and invited her in. The lady explained you may want to hold back the hugs with our Korean friends. They are not like Americans or Aussie's in this resect. The young girls eyes grew big and she said, "yes, of course." "I better read my handbook again." The lady agreed that would be a good idea.

"Are you hungry?" asked the lady. The young girl said, "yes, starving!" The lady knew just what to do. She said, "give me 20 minutes and I will be right back."

This was her moment, the time for her to show off her Korean cooking skills. Having learned from experience her refrigerator was full of nice fresh vegetables as well as some left over chicken. She went to the cupboard above the stove and opened the door, the lady stood there, looking inside. She reached for the item that had become so important to her and to her kitchen. It was a pot an old pot, perfect for cooking ramyeon. Given to her by a dear friend that she would never forget.

 

**Halmoni...."grandmother" in Korean**