Taemin didn't know when it happened. He didn't know when he got this attraction to his hyung Minho, someone he was so close to. Maybe it was when he found out they both were interested in guys, maybe that's where he started growing closer to the older. Or maybe it was the first time they met and he saw his big beautiful eyes.  It was really hard to tell, but he knew that he liked him, and he knew..well he thought he knew the other liked him as well. 

 

You see Minho had a way of making Taemin feel special. He made Taemin feel wanted and that he was the only one that mattered most especially when Minho would be tired and wouldnt want to be bothered with others, yet he would talk to Taemin and Taemin would foolishly say: "I must be special then". Then Minho, being the oblivious person he is would chuckle and reply: "Of course you're special". With those simple words Taemin's heart would sore, yet he held it inside, he wouldn't dare show how much he loved hearing those few little words.There was still a chance that all of this was just teasing with no real intentions for Minho. Especially when he gave him little nicknames like babe, or baby.

 

So Taemin went on with his life, talking with Minho whenever he had his free time, or putting off work just to reply to his texts and everything was good. However that was when the teasing got worse. It was Minho this time who started the teasing when he would send text messages saying " You're mine you know that babe? c: ". And those text messages were Taemin's favorites, at first he was shy replying to them, but now he replies confidently, thanking that Minho might actually like him the same way so he would say: "Of course I know that all yours!". You could say that was where things started going down hill, well for Taemin mostly.

 

Taemin and Minho had the same group of friends and Taemin began to notice tiny things when he would be around his friends and Minho. He would notice the small laughs he had with Jinki, or the mini impromptu photoshoots he would have with Krystal, or how he constantly texted Key even though they sat together. But he brushed it off, he figured he was just being the jealous type. Minho was his own person, he could do what he wanted and hang out with who he wanted, it's not like he liked them like he liked Taemin, so with a reasonable mind Taemin brushed it off. 

 

However that rational thinking flew out of the window when he went to visit his friend Krystal to hang out. They were on the couch and just chilling while music played when Krystal busted out laughing. He looked at her as if she were crazy and she showed him her phone. It displayed a text from Minho which said: "Hey babe if I rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together ;D ". When he read the text, he felt a pang of hurt in his chest but he didn't show it. He just smiled and laughed weakly. Krystal asked if he was okay and he lied and said yes but not to soon he left. He couldn't believe Minho called others his petname and he sent them flirty messages. He was suppose to be the special one right?

 

The rest of that night Taemin ignored all his text messages and calls and just spent time to think things over. Maybe he wasn't the only "special" one in Minho's life. Maybe he was just like everyone else Minho's life, just a good close friend that he could tease without worrying about feelings. Taemin didn't know and he wanted answers, but he was to scared to get them. He always figured one day Minho would confess to him and things would be great, but apparently things were far from great and he knew that he would have to confess to Minho to get the answers he needed, so that's what he would do.

 

So the next morning Taemin got out of bed and got himself ready in his best clothes and made himself up to look the best he could and once he was satisfied with how he looked he put on his shoes and headed off to Minho's place. It took about an hour to get there because of traffic and once he was there he felt his nervousness hit him dead on. He started to shake and his hands became sweaty and he was debating if he should really do something like this, what if he said no? What if it ruined their friendship? Was he truly ready for that?

 

Well after about 10 minutes of debating he was about to get out of his car when Minho came out holding some guy's hand. He didn't know who he was, but he saw their fingers were laced together and he saw how Minho smiled at him with a twinkle in his eye, something he never did with Taemin, something Taemin craved for but he now knew he wouldn't get. Feeling defeated he was about to drive away and go sulk on his couch when he saw Minho kiss the other. It wasn't an innocent peck, it was a loving kiss, something shared between couples and that's what broke Taemin. He felt tears falling down his face and he pulled down his mirror in his car and looked at himself to confirm he was crying and indeed he was. He laughed bitterly "special indeed" he muttered as he started his car and drove away from Minho's place.

 

He now knew he wasn't that special one Minho made him out to be. He wasn't the one in his heart and he's have to deal with it alone and pick up the pieces of his heart alone. He didn't think being rejected would hurt this much, but was he really even rejected? Minho didn't even know of his feelings and he never said anything, so no this wasn't a rejection at least then he would have had a chance to lay his cards on the table. Instead he was nothing, nothing was shared nothing was known, and nothing was done to help him. He now knew it was true that the most painful love was one sided one. For one person to make you feel so special and to lift you up only to crush your heart with a smile and not even know it and you have to pretend to be fine with it, that was the worst pain anyone could go through with love. 

 

Maybe one day Taemin will find someone who will make him feel special and love him how he is, but for now he just has to go through his life carrying this burden and picking up the pieces of heart one by one,who knows one day someone could come along and help put him back together with that one missing piece that was always there.