“He’s projecting it,” Luhan deduces one day as he sits with Yifan at a nearby Starbucks while they wait for Junmyeon to join them after ordering his drink.   Yifan sighs, trying to ignore the elder’s presence and contemplate on the reason why he was there in the first place instead of staying at home in his warm comfy bed in his warm, reasonably and incredibly attractive duck-littered pajamas with his adorable troll of a boyfriend Jongdae.   “I’m serious,” the elder states, slamming his hand down on the table just as Junmyeon gets there and jumps from the sudden action, “He’s projecting it.”   “What,” Yifan drawls out, leaning back in his chair as he tries to fix his nonexistent collar of his jacket and Junmyeon sits down next to him, “Are you talking about – at nine in the morning on a Saturday?”   Luhan stares at them like they’re crazy, watching as Yifan’s eyes are attempting to close to go back to sleep and Junmyeon’s gently blowing into his coffee cup with similarly tired eyes. “Yixing!” he finally exclaims out, throwing his hands up in the air in exasperation, “I’m telling you… he’s projecting his neck sensitivity thing onto other people!”   Junmyeon sighs after taking a tentative sip of his coffee, “And how did you come up with that conclusion?”   The other huffs, leaning back in his seat and crossing his arms in front of his chest, “Well, it all started with Sehun-”   “We don’t want to know about his life,” Yifan quickly interrupts, trying to will away the oncoming images as Junmyeon nonchalantly continues to drink his coffee.   “I wasn’t going to say anything about that!” Luhan protests, pout forming on his face.   “Why do you even know anything about his life,” Junmyeon deadpans, not even looking up from his drink as he continues to lightly mumble, “Hasn’t he been dating Jongin for a while now?”   The eldest smiles proudly, “He has!” before he continues on, “But what I was going to say was that Yixing kissed Sehun’s neck last year while we all took a trip to Russia.”   The youngest man’s eyebrows furrow in thought, because it’s still really early to be functioning like a normal human being, as he finally looks up to the other across from them, “Wasn’t Sehun dating Jongin then?”   “And Jongin let it slide because Yixing profusely apologized,” Luhan answers back, “So, being the wonderful hyung that I am, I let it slide as well because this is Yixing who would never hurt anyone intentionally.”   “Okay,” Yifan simply says, moving to stand up from his seat, “I’m going back home to Jongdae.”   “Wait!” Luhan shouts out, reaching out to grab onto the other’s jacket, “I’m not done yet!”   “Oh my God,” the other mutters out, sitting back down and rubbing the bridge of his nose, “What else?”   The eldest smiles happily again, continuing his story, “So, we already know that Yixing hates it when anybody blows on his neck,” he looks at each of his friends as they nod knowingly, “Okay, so we can get past that.” He nods to himself before going on. “You know how we went to that club for Kyungsoo’s party a month ago?”   “Don’t remind me,” Junmyeon mumbles out into his almost empty coffee cup. To put it bluntly, Zitao got a little too drunk and wouldn’t stop grinding himself on his boyfriend who tried desperately to control him but to no avail. He ended up having to leave early to satisfy his surprisingly eager and out of control younger boyfriend.   “Anyways,” Luhan waved off, looking up in thought, “I was taking pictures when Kyungsoo wanted to take a picture with Xing. Xing ended up wrapping a tight arm around him and kissing his neck when I snapped the picture.”   “Oh,” Yifan lets out, brows furrowing in response, “I remember that. You almost clawed Xing’s lips off while Kyungsoo was trying to hold you back and everything.”   Junmyeon frowns, trying to remember that event, “Probably after I left.”   Luhan nods before a twinkle appears in his eyes, “Luckily, Kyungsoo just knows what to do to calm me down.”   “Easy now, tiger,” the youngest states, eyeing his friend, now feeling more awake after having his coffee, “Now, why do you think Yixing is projecting whatever it is he is projecting?”   “Because of Yixing’s neck sensitivity when air is blown over it, despite his excessive use of no-collar and low tank shirts, he transfers his want of someone doing something to his neck onto doing it to other people,” Luhan oh-so-helpfully explains, earning raised eyebrows from each of the two younger men across from him.   “That doesn’t make sense,” Yifan finally mutters out after minutes of just staring at somebody who’s supposed to be older than him. He turns to Junmyeon next to him, “Does it?”   The latter shrugs, sighing as he leans back and sinks down in his chair in thought, “He said once that he couldn’t handle air going over his neck…”   “But he kisses other people’s necks,” Yifan concludes, brows furrowing to try and understand the situation.   “Other people’s necks that are taken, mind you,” Luhan mutters out before clapping his hands, serious expression now on his face, “Now, time for the plan.”   “We did not sign up for this,” Yifan immediately says, preparing to stand up once again when Junmyeon, with eyes closed in annoyance, grabs his arm and harshly pulls him back down to collapse in his chair. He lets out a sigh when Luhan thanks him for his hard work.   “You signed up for this when you first made eye contact with each other,” Luhan simply states before moving on. “So,” he mischievously says, rubbing his hands together as he gives them his famous creepy stare, which consisted of a sinister-murderous-looking smile, “Here’s how we’ll do it.”   Junmyeon sighs as Yifan glares at the eldest.   “I’m not going to like this at all.”   ---   “Get down here,” Luhan hisses as he pulls on Yifan’s arm to bring him down to his level, “Now stay at this height, and we’re good.”   Yifan glares at him, “This hurts my back, and people are giving me weird looks.”   “I’m happy with my height for once,” Junmyeon comments as he lazily looks around all the stores in the mall, “Why are we here?” He grunts when Luhan suddenly smacks him on the chest, turning his attention away from a Gucci store only to see the elder pointing in the direction of a music store. “What?” he huffs annoyed.   Luhan smirks deviously before making a supposedly languid beeline for the store, “Kyunggie told me he and Yixing were going to hang out today.”   “And you think they’re in this store,” Yifan deadpans as he stands back up again, only to growl when Luhan pulls him back down.   “Yes,” is all they get before they witness Luhan peering around the entrance of the store only to see Yixing and Kyungsoo laughing about something his boyfriend picked up. He sighs happily at hearing Kyungsoo’s laugh. “He’s absolutely precious.”   “Are we spying on your boyfriend or your best friend?” Junmyeon asks genuinely, about to go in and greet them when Luhan tugs him back to hide behind the wall.   “Both.”   “You don’t trust Yixing, do you?” Yifan questions, peering inside the store as well, “He’s like your little brother.”   “Who goes off kissing other people’s necks!” Luhan exclaims back at him, watching with confused eyes as he sees Yifan wave behind him. His eyes widen when he realizes what that means.   “Hyung? What are you doing here?” Kyungsoo suddenly questions, walking out of the store with a happy Yixing next to him. His eyes widen as realization dawns on him. An angry appearance takes over his face as he walks forward and pokes his boyfriend’s chest, “You’re not seriously going through with this idea of yours, are you?!”   Junmyeon and Yifan sigh in relief. “So, you know.”   “How many times have I told you not to meddle with other people’s personal lives, hyung?!” Kyungsoo continues on anyways with a confused Yixing next to him, “He’s doing perfectly fine on his own and would probably prefer it if you didn’t try to figure out his es.”   “His what now? His who?” Yixing suddenly pipes up next to them, drawing wide eyes from every single one of them.   Luhan frowns at him before walking over and blowing a short puff of air on his best friend’s neck.   Yixing instantly recoils, covering his sensitive neck, “Ge!”   “We’re leaving,” Luhan decides, grabbing Kyungsoo’s hand and dragging him with him. He turns to Yifan and Junmyeon, “You two are free to go,” before turning back to Yixing, “Find somebody else to shop with.”   “But Luhan!” Kyungsoo yells out, trying to pull free from his surprisingly stronger boyfriend, “We just got here!”   The other three watch with wide eyes as Luhan shuts his boyfriend up with a kiss before dragging him away to go home. Yifan and Junmyeon sigh before turning to Yixing who’s still looking confused as ever. “Need a ride home or something?” the eldest questions, “I’m going back home to Jongdae.”   “And I’m going to call up Zitao if he wants to go somewhere that isn’t the mall,” Junmyeon mutters before taking out his phone and texting his boyfriend back about where he is currently.   Yixing sighs before shaking his head, “I drove Kyungsoo and I here.”   Yifan nods as he nudges Junmyeon along, “We’ll take that as our leave then.”   Yixing pouts as he waves them away before taking out his own phone and going to his car. “Fine then.”   ---   Kyungsoo’s frowning as he impatiently waits for Luhan to open the door to their apartment. Once they’re inside, he’s shoving the elder on the arm before making his way to his sanctuary of the house. “I can’t believe you’re trying to unravel Yixing-hyung’s es.”   “It’s a mystery as to why he won’t let others breathe on it when he likes kissing others’ necks!” Luhan exclaims exasperatedly, throwing his arms up in the air and following his shorter boyfriend into the kitchen, “And it’s a mystery I want to figure out!”   “You’re not even dating him.”   Luhan gives him a look, “Oh. I know your es,” before going into the fridge to find some fruits to eat, “I’m just curious as to why he kissed your neck and why he kissed Sehun’s neck.”   Kyungsoo blushes but shrugs nonetheless. “Maybe he’s a vampire.”   It becomes oddly quiet while he begins chopping up vegetables to get a head start on their lunch. He furrows his brows as he turns to see what his boyfriend is doing. He stares at him. “You are not thinking that he’s a vampire, right? He watches his own reflection when he dances, and he wears the skimpiest shirts I’ve ever seen in daylight.”   Luhan nibbles on a piece of fruit as his face scrunches up in thought. “You never know.” He suddenly takes out his phone, Kyungsoo not even bothering with the other’s plans.   ---   Yifan grunts, trying to lift Jongdae up high enough so that he can latch onto the ladder for the fire escape outside the apartment complex. He lets out an undignified yell when the younger tries to climb up his back and onto his shoulders. Yifan doesn’t want to think about what sticky and wet substance he just touched on the bottom of his boyfriend’s shoe.   “Why can’t we stay at home and sleep all day?” Yifan whines, trying to balance himself as Jongdae pays no mind to his pain or discomfort at all.   “You sleep too much,” is all the younger offers before he latches onto the bottom rung. His eyes light up with victory. “Yeah, hyung! I got it!”   Yifan sighs, watching as his boyfriend easily pulls himself up afterwards. He stares up, slightly defeated as the younger continues on his journey before he hits the second floor. “Baobei?” He winces when Jongdae unlatches the ladder and it squeakily loosens up enough to fall low enough where he can reach it. He sighs again. “Why did I tell you about that man-child’s stupid idea?”   Jongdae huffs, waiting for his boyfriend to join him so they can climb the stairs together. “Because it is a brilliant idea, and you know it.” He looks over to the street and his eyes widen, quickly looking down to Yifan and hissing, “Boyfriend! Stop moving and shut up!”   Yifan’s brow twitches, halfway between pulling himself up and falling onto his . He closes his eyes in annoyance, about to yell up at the younger his frustrations of the day, when all of a sudden, Jongdae happily yells out, “Okay! You can talk again, boyfriend.”   “What the hell-”   “Hurry up!”   Yifan frowns, chanting in his head – I love this troll. I love this idiot. He is beautiful. He is amazing in bed.   By the time they reach Baekhyun’s floor, they’re climbing over rails and platforms trying to see where their friends are. Of course, Jongdae is leading them when he suddenly stops, almost pushing Yifan over the railing. His eyes widen, blissfully ignoring Yifan’s cursing, as he leans in closer through the window to get a better look.   Jongdae swears he sees Yixing gently hugging Baekhyun from behind, and he swears he sees Yixing putting his head on Baekhyun’s shoulder. His eyes widen even more before he lets out a screech, Yifan letting out a surprised, girly scream next to him. They don’t see the little kid peeking his head out of his window next door before Jongdae’s face is about to split into two when Yixing goes back to plant a kiss on Baekhyun’s neck before letting him go.   He screeches again.   Yifan screams like a girl. Again.   Jongdae happily watches as they both go to answer the door, and he sees a little kid talking to them. Yifan’s scowling, about to grab Jongdae to bring him back down to the ground, “Jongdae. You’re being creepy. Let’s go,” before he sees Baekhyun stalking up to them behind the window.   Their eyes widen as Baekhyun opens the barrier and grabs a hold of the younger’s collar instead.   They should’ve ran.   “Are you kidding me, Jongdae?! What are you doing out there?!”   ---   An hour later, Yixing and Baekhyun walk in blissfully unaware of their surroundings, as they take a seat by the window of a small café and bakery. They don’t notice Chanyeol dragging in Minseok and sitting a few tables away from them, which is surprising because Chanyeol can’t easily be hidden. Minseok groans, wearing a hat and sunglasse