The sound of the clock on the wall behind him was the only noise coming through the vast, white halls of the building. His head in the palm of his hands, his eyes closed, listening to the clicking coming from the clock above him. Thoughts and scenes played through his head, his mind focusing on only one thing, and his nerves reminding him that it was near.

He had dreamed of this day for years, and never saw it coming until he met her. There was something about her that caught his eye that no other woman had ever. The way her long, wavy hair flowed smoothly down her back, to the way her eyes sparkled with genuine care towards the children she helped each and every day – she was the one.

When he met her, he knew she was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. The way she laughed at the simple jokes he said, to the way she always asked him to join her on her adventures of community service, he loved every aspect of her. It was almost love at first sight, with of course the help of destiny.

Yongguk sighed, and looked up at the ceiling, staring deeply. Ever since his pre-debut times, he had this passion for children. He always wanted to help them achieve anything that was possible, and even sponsored two with World Vision. Even so, he yearned to hold a child of his own. One that he helped make, that contained his eyes, his nose, something related to him- a baby child that he could be proud of, and show to the world.

So why was he so nervous? Was it the fact that he was so close to becoming a father? Or was it the fact that he didn’t know what to expect? Yongguk sighed, taking out his cell phone, looking through his twitter. He smiled as he checked his mentions; thousands of his fans were still congratulating him on the announcement of his wife’s pregnancy. Many, hoping everything was going well. He smiled, and tweeted something to his fans.

Suddenly, a phone call came in, answering. “Hello?”

“Ya, Bang Yong Guk! How’s everything?” Himchan said, smiling on the other side of the line. Yongguk chuckled, knowing too well that his best friend would call sooner or later.

“Everything’s fine right now. She hasn’t come out of the room, so I’m not sure yet. What about you? How’s everyone?”

“HI YONGGUK HYUNG~” the boys of B.A.P said through the phone. Yongguk took the phone away from his ear, and stared at it before sighing.

“You have me on speaker, don’t you, Himchan?” Yongguk said, shaking his head. Himchan giggled on the other line.

“Hey, we’re all excited for you, okay? Good luck, and let us know how everything goes. Oh, Junhong wants to talk to you.”

“Hyung? Hyung! Can you tell noona that I made her favorite foods and that I’m excited for her to come home?” he said, obviously excited. Yongguk chuckled, and told him okay. After a few minutes of talking with each of the members, their conversation ended, and Yongguk was now back to the nervous wreck he was before.

He looked through is phone more, and found pictures of him and his wife a couple of years ago when they started dating. He smiled at how beautiful she looked in the sun, and how happy she seemed. Even though Yongguk had experienced two relationships that ended with bad memories, he knew in his heart that this one wouldn’t, and to his upmost relief, it didn’t. They were now married, and hopefully preparing for their first born.

Their first born - A small human that would resemble him. He continued to smile at his earlier thoughts, and imagined his future days with the child. He imagined taking him or her on daily walks, and showing him/her off to his friends. He imagined carrying the baby and softly singing it to sleep. It was a life he yearned for.

But what if he was a bad father? The thought worried Yongguk the most. Growing up, he rarely saw his parents because they worked every day, and instead, spent more time with his own grandparents. He didn’t want that for his child, but, what about his life as an idol? B.A.P had become popular throughout the years in Korea and internationally, so his life as an idol was at its highest peak. Would the fans be okay with him taking breaks and coming back less often because of his child? Or would they be ultimately against the thought, and aim towards other groups? He didn’t know what to think—but for one, both his BABYs and his actually baby were important to him. He was Bang Yong Guk. Of course, he would find a way to keep both happy.

His thoughts became positive again. He imagined the days as a family, watching movies when the baby grew older, taking his wife and child out to the ocean, or even for a simple walk. He imagined spending every single day with the both of them, and truthfully smiled into the distance.

His thoughts were suddenly stopped when he noticed the doctor come out of the room, where his wife was in. He quickly jumped up and walked to the doctor, a smile and excited look on his face. The doctor looked up from the clipboard in his hands, his own heart tensed. Yongguk noticed the saddening look on the doctor’s face, and his heart imidiately sunk.

Words, and more words came out of the doctor’s mouth, Yongguk’s world slowly graying away. The thoughts and dreams he was once imagining were suddenly clouding, his mind slowly taking in what was being told to him. He quickly walked past the doctor, and walked into the room where his wife was slowly wiping away small tears rolling down her face. Yongguk quickly walked to her and sat next to her, holding her hand, her tears falling more and more as his own began to drop towards the cold ground.

Miscarriage; a sad reality where his dreams were only short lived.