He is gay, homoual… maybe bi, but whatever. Well, from my observations. I've known him since he was in third grade and I was in fourth. Back then, I was in this group of people who happened to be friendly with everyone. We befriended him right after he walked out classroom on their recess time on his first day. And yes, he transferred in the middle of the school year. Looking back, you can really tell that he’s not straight. He treated boys more delicately than what a guy normally would. It’s even more evident now. He shows too much affection on this dirty blonde guy who happens to be his roommate and it’s suffocating for me. It’s not that I hate PDA but because… uhh—reasons?

“Please. I swear! This is the last time I’ll ask for a favor!” Kyungho—my Lit classmate who keeps bugging me just so I would proofread his seven-page-long research—pleaded. I answered back with a “You’ve been asking me for days. Why don’t you ask others?” He looked at me with puppy eyes and I’m weak with any kind of puppy eyes from whomever so I looked away. “Whatever.” I left Kyungho in our room with a loud bang from the door I aggressively closed. He could ask another classmate! What’s wrong with him?  

Back to the topic, I should know what his uality is. He's my best friend. I should know everything about him. But the fear of knowing that he’s actually in love with this dirty blonde guy is holding me back. Yes, I love him. I know, I know. Falling in love with best friends is so cliché but it’s not anymore once you’ve experienced it. Therefore, I should know if this love would be reciprocated one day or not. I need to know this now or never, not absolutely ‘never’ because I have all the time in the world to learn about it.

The mission should be starting right now. I rushed and used all of my energy and stamina to run as fast as I could. I’m not really the “runner” type despite my long legs so it was hard, especially with the beating of my heart butting in. Before reaching the cafeteria’s door, I broke down and fell on my knees. I stood straight up, muttering excuses like “He pushed me!” and fixed my appearance. I don’t want Chanyeol to see me all sweaty and yucky.

“Noona!” His deep voice rang through my ears beautifully right after I walked in. He stated it cheerfully and it was too much to take. His voice is breathtaking… just his existence itself is, to be honest.

“Sorry if I'm late. Kyungho’s the reason.” My happiness just went an inverted pyramid in a matter of nanoseconds. The dirty blonde guy I was just talking about earlier is sitting next to him and is obviously flirting with him. I put down my things right in front of them violently, trying to show them that I'm pissed off. Well, that totally worked since I saw them at the corner of eyes, shocked from what I just did. I got my food and sat back at our table like nothing happened, quite surprised that they're still in shock.

“Period?” He asked me as if it was pretty normal to talk to a girl like that in public. I glared at him, trying not to show my disapproval at the presence of the guy because he is the ‘guy’.

“How many times do I have to tell you that that’s not proper?” I mumbled under my breath and the guy laughed at him. I felt the urge to slap the guy because he was interfering with my moment with my best friend but I was too kind to do it. I was in front of the love of my life, after all. I don't want him to look at me badly because I slapped his friend.

“By the way, you know Baekhyun, right?” He asked me and jealousy was eating me up. He introduced the guy to me as if they were in a relationship or something and it crushed my heart into pulp.

“Babe, let's go. I hate this creep here.” I invited Baekhyun, praying that he would play along with me. Luckily, he did. I couldn’t help it! There was something inside of me that’s telling me to do it to piss Chanyeol off because he pissed me off.

“Bye Yeol! I have to do something with my lady.” Baekhyun offered his hand to me. We pretended to leave the table and giggled softly. “I thought I was the boyfriend here.” He spoke disappointedly. I honestly thought it was me at first and it unexpectedly made my heart thump but I then saw Baekhyun.

“Boyfriend? Of who?” Sehun, one of my best friends, arrived at our table out of the blue. I hugged him and kissed him on his cheek. It was our habit since we became close. No malice.

“Get a room, please!” Baekhyun suddenly blurted. He obviously didn’t know that I treat Sehun as my son but it was still funny. Thankfully, it did ease the tension created by the one and only, Chanyeol.

“Are you playing with me or is this just on purpose?” Chanyeol said firmly and a tad bit mad. I nudged Baekhyun. He glared at me in response but he couldn't control it so he laughed. That guy is really something. I know that I was furious with him a while ago, but he wasn't the 'guy' I thought he is.

“I'm talking to you, Sooyoung.” I was too dazed by his statement so it took time for me to respond. Who wouldn’t be in this stage? “Me? I thought you and Baekhyun are an item.” I was still dazed so I just replied with what I was thinking.

“You’re kidding me, right?” His answer was like a black hole. It me up and entranced me into another dimension. I was in bliss. My happiness was so immense it could possibly defy the laws of physics.

“You’re not gay?” Oh Sehun possibly read my mind and verbalized what I was thinking in another part of my brain. “Yeah, I honestly thought you were gay with him.” I continued my son’s question and pointed at Baekhyun at the last part of my statement.

“This one? He’s just a strip of Bacon following me around because he doesn’t have a frying pan to live on.” Chanyeol explained which pretty much solved the puzzle I was trying to answer all this time. “You don’t have to state it that way!” Baekhyun pouted. I feel so bad thinking about how I treated 'Bacon'. Now I know the reason why Chanyeol's sticking with him all the time. Drawing within the small time we’ve been together right now, he is quite fun to hang out with.

“You are my best friend. We aren’t anything.” I didn’t actually want to retort that way but I want to clarify everything. There was no courting or dating. How could we be a couple of some sort? I didn’t even know that the feeling was mutual.

“You don’t like me? I honestly thought you do.” I laughed and laughed. I even got the three of them laughing with me. “You’re just my best friend. And I’m in love with Yoona.” I spoke softly so that rumors wouldn’t roam around the student body. I’m quite surprised myself that that is the excuse faulty brain came up with. Maybe, it’s because of the fact that I used to like her or I thought so.  

The next thing I knew is that I was by the lockers with Chanyeol and Baekhyun. They were still surprised with my confession. Sehun actually knew that, so he brushed it off like it was nothing. It was in fact, nothing. I was young and stupid. I didn’t know the fine line between liking someone and admiring someone as a role model.