I walked into my class and as per usual i was the first to arrive. I decided to catch up on my sleep as i really need it. My eyes shot open when loud laughter filled my ears. Those boys again. I wonder what's the commotion this time. J-hope. Great, a person i don't intend to talk to or look at right now. I couldn't help but to feel a deep pang on my heart. He once was my boyfriend for about a year. He abandoned me for another girl. From that day onwards my terms with J-hope and his group called BTS are no longer anything to me. Jongkook,the maknae of the group came to approach me. The only thing i wanted to do was run out of the class. Tears are welling up in my eyes, To my surprise Jin took my hand and dragged me out before Jungkook could even utter a word out. From the corners of my eyes i could see J-hope smirking. I hate to look like I'm so fragile, weak and vulnerable in front of him. On the day J-hope broke up with me was the day i started slashing myself. Jin halted and my body fell into his arms. It's been a long time since I hugged Jin.

*Flashback*

3 Years Ago

I received a text. It was a really long one and i wasn't feeling so good either on that day. I decided to sit at a park nearby. It's one of my favourite spots. I received a call and it was from J-hope. At that point of time i was wondering why would someone like J-hope call me? I picked up and i nearly dropped my phone. He was crying begging for help. The J-hope i know is cold-hearted,mean and selfish why would he call me, the girl he hates, when he is in that kind of state? I rushed my way to the place that he told me. It was quite and the environment totally didn't help either. It was close to 8 pm and there's only one street lamp litted. The alley seemed pretty dark and god knows what is hidden in the long deep path. I decided to turn around thinking why should i help that jerk . I felt a strong grip on my hand and i shrieked. To my surprise it was J-hope.

"Ya! You can hate me after i have to say this..I....I...I really like you Kim Nana."

"Bwo?! You're crazy aren't you..... ya! get a grip of yourself..."

Before i could continue he kissed my forehead and boy that did shut me up. He likes me. J-hope likes me. The jerk that deserves the tittle "First Love in my heart" and without thinking i said yes.

I got back hope grinning like a mad girl. Thinking about how awesome my life would be. Ignoring the amount of text messages I received I immediately called Jin. My bestfriend.

"Jin! Guess what?!"

"What? You're treating me tomorrow?"

"Ani. J-Hope asked me to be his girlfriend!! Finally!"

"Ya! DID YOU SAY YES?! KIM NANA You know that...he is nothing but a jerk. Out of all the guys in our class you chose him?! Kim Nana are you out of your mind?!"

I chose to hang up. Why can't he be happy for me?

Little did I know the text that I ignored...It was from Jin.

 

From: Jin

4:50pm

Kim Nana , the girl that throws her books at me when she's mad, the girl that will kick my chair here and then just to annoy me. She would debate with me on any topic. The girl that will follow me around when she's left alone. The girl that takes hours to just reply my text. The girl who is scared every time she hears the sound of thunder and a motor speeding,The girl that snores when she sleeps in class. The girl that seats right behind me in class. The girl that always stumble a lot when riding the bus. The girl that complains like an ahjumma talking about how tiring her day was. The girl that will keep on smiling even when her world is tumbling down at the same time the girl that will come rushing to me crying every time when something goes wrong. The girl that will never reply my text after sending "goodnight". The girl that calls me mean 24/7 yet ironically she was the one who kept on pranking me. Kim Nana, I would be the most stupidest person on earth to not acknowledge you. Kim Nana will you be mine?

I could never forgive myself for hurting Jin. I protected a jerk, no, I loved a jerk. Love. It was my greatest regret ever. My relationship wasn't fruitful with J-hope, knowing that it was a set-up, a dare. We kept going on. It was all an act.

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*present*

"Hey, everything's gonna be alright. Kim Nana i know that you're stronger than this. You don't need a guy, no, a jerk like J-hope."

"Oppa..I...It's hard to fight this stupid feeling...I told myself it's over...but i just seem to..."

"shh Kim Nana would you like to go out with me? Allow me to get rid of the unwanted feeling you've been getting...mhm?"

"Oppa I.."

"Just say yes"

"Okay"

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I couldn't help but to be thankful to have Jin by myside. He was my first love but i somehow ended up with J-hope. He was a player and he sure knows how to steal this heart of mine. For a second i thought about Jin..maybe if he had feelings for me back then before J-hope starts messing with my life just maybe my life wouldn't have turned out as badly as it is now. I dressed myself up a bit today wanting to look good even if i am mentally not in the mood. I looked at my watch, perfect 7pm sharp. I could hear my doorbell ringed. I could feel my own heart beating so fast as i can somehow predict the words his going to say and that is...to tell me that he is sorry and to tell me that he moved on and found a new girl.

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I've moved on. The girl that i liked with all my heart once left me. I tried to stay but it was too painful for me to watch

That girl never once changed. She'll always be here for you. Just like what you did back to those days when she was in need of help. I had my chance and i blew it.