Everyone always thought that it was Sungjong who had the easiest time. But actually, it was Sungjong who had the hardest time.

In the living system, Sungjong's time was the easiest, yes. He would escape, usually, to visit his relatives. He would watch movies and eat whatever he liked, and nobody could say anything to stop him. He was the precious Sungjong-ah, after all.

So Sungjong escaped, and it worked. When the leader got mad, when Sungyeol got eagerly annoying or when Myungsoo got stupidly arrogant and strange, he would escape, and then everything would be okay. Because he was Sungjong, and they didn't care.

That was why his time was the hardest time. Because Infinite made him feel that way. It made him feel pointless, like Sungyeol thought he was, it made him feel stupid, like Myungsoo thought he was, and it made him feel irrelevant and so, so minimal, like he was.

It was the one little thing for the others. Simple loss of confidence, confusing stupidity, amusing puerility, the ways or the use of violence and bluntness. Those little things, little things that didn't really matter anymore, were so damn bothering for them. But for Sungjong – the one who was so pure and innocent and trouble-free – it was everything. He was everything, he was all of it, he had all the flaws existing and he wasn't pure and innocent. Myungsoo was pure and innocent, Sungyeol was pure and flawless and Howon was almost trouble-free – he just liked to play the criminal.

When the others were too busy with their own troubles and so-called flaws, no one bothered looking twice at Sungjong.

There's too many flaws to look at, he would think, and he would think it so hard that it would get stained to his mind like the blood in the piece of paper he once used to get some attention from the others. (But only Sungyeol was bored enough to give some.)

Maybe that was why Sungjong liked Sungyeol the least. He was bored, so he gave a fake smile and helped. It was stupid. He was stupid.

But Sungjong wasn't the one to judge.

He had the flaws of seven, after all.

-

Sungjong hated stars. He hated them so bad, because they reminded him of Sungyeol's eyes, which obviously reminded him of Sungyeol and his lively personality shining in the pack of the seven boys. Sungyeol was always cheerful, but there was the mean drop of jealousy, hurt and maturity in his eyes. That was why Sungjong knew that Sungyeol was playing them, that Sungyeol wasn't real, maybe. And that was why Sungjong disliked Sungyeol the most. (He would've been lying by saying that he really liked any of them.)

Everyone – including Sungyeol – thought that Sungjong was stupid. It was usually Myungsoo who was stupid in the eyes of an Inspirit, or in the eyes of anyone, possibly. Myungsoo looked naive and gullible, and he was that way, sometimes. He didn't see things, he didn't understand things. Sungjong did. And that proved that everyone was wrong – Sungjong wasn't stupid. He was pretty clever, actually.

Everyone from Infinite were quite different, but still the same. They were all stupid, somehow. Sunggyu was too stubborn to see the truth, and too arrogant and too bossy to actually see anything in the right way. (What was the right way?)

Dongwoo seemed very wise, actually, but he was just playing everyone with caring. Caring wasn't maturity in any level. Even little kids cared for their parents and for their friends – maybe they would get over them, but it was caring in its weakest point.

Woohyun was like Sunggyu. Maybe because he respected him so much. Sungjong also found some similarities between himself and Woohyun. Show a smile, hide the pain. He could see through Woohyun's failed actions, clearly.

Sungjong wan't exactly sure what it was that made Howon stupid. Maybe it was because he respected Howon the most – he was the hyung who would pat his head and buy him food, and say sorry for the others. But he didn't understand, because he was too cocky to feel Sungjong. It was probably his bluntness that made him stupid. His bluntness seemed to win over his heart, and he was almost as gullible and naive as Myungsoo. (No one got it, though.)

Lee Sungyeol was the favorite name of Sungjong, because he wasn't stupid at all, and that was what made him so damn stupid. It didn't make sense to Sungjong himself, but he just knew that Sungyeol was stupid, just like everyone else. (Or maybe, just maybe, he wanted some kind of an excuse for naming his wisest hyung stupid.)

Myungsoo, then again, was pretty clear. He was stupid. The regular stupid you probably meet everyday, they are passing by and usually you can look at their eyes and see the stupidity glowing in them.

But Sungjong was stupid himself. He was stupid for naming his other members stupid in the first place. (Why was he, anyway?)

It probably took him a night or two to list all the different forms of the word stupid, and he only listed them in his mind, so no one would know.

He listed them while watching stars.

Basically, Sungjong hated stars, because stars were stupid. They were so, so stupid and Sungjong hated everything stupid. Sungjong hated everything, and it was easier that way.

-

It was a regular afternoon, the sun wasn't shining, the rain was almost dropping from the heavy sky, and Sungjong was ready to run outside to catch a fever. Just then, Sungyeol knocked to a wall. Sungjong found it amusing, but he kept a straight face. (He never acted to Sungyeol. Sungyeol was too wise, so he just played an angry child so he would go away.)

Sungyeol probably thought that Sungjong hated him, and it was great that way.

Sungjong was sitting in the living room, which was a lot bigger in their new apartment, but Sungjong hated it. He had no idea why they moved, to improve their money or to get more rooms. We had enough rooms, he said, but no one listened. Because he was stupid, and stupid people said stupid things that didn't matter.

Sungyeol's knock to the wall wasn't loud, but Sungjong catched it from the silence. The house was empty. (Yes, empty, because Sungyeol and Sungjong were nothing.)

”Hello there, maknae-nim,” Sungyeol said, and it didn't fit to his mouth. It was Dongwoo's thing to say, not Sungyeol's. So Sungjong just rolled his eyes and ignored the heavy presence of his least favorite member in the same room as he – in the empty house.
 

”I was thinking here earlier, and I have a request,” Sungyeol said, and Sungjong found it amusing again. Everything was so amusing, because nothing mattered.

”Tell me.” Sungjong's voice was as empty as his eyes were, and of course, Sungyeol thought it was about him. Yes, he was that shallow.

Sungyeol sat next to him to the couch, which was red and ugly. ”We're always at home alone, so maybe we could start getting closer, you know.” Sungjong wasn't exactly surprised, but maybe it was because he had learned the expressionless expression from Myungsoo.

”Why?” he asked, and it was all he wanted to ask. Because he didn't care. Sungyeol didn't understand, he didn't even try to understand like Howon, or think that he understood like Myungsoo. He knew that he didn't understand, because he wasn't (that) stupid, but he didn't care. And that was, of course, because he didn't want to understand. (Sungjong had a lot of reasons not to like Lee Sungyeol.)

”I knew you'd say no,” Sungyeol answered, a smirk in his eyes, and then he stood up and offered his hand. Sungjong was confused, but he didn't let it show. He didn't say no. Heck, he didn't say anything but why, which was a question, and it didn't exactly deserve an answer like that. But Sungjong was Sungjong, and he learned from the flaws of the other six, and he looked up at Sungyeol with an arrogant expression on his face – it was from Howon, who was the best hyung he had.

”What do you want, Sungyeol-hyung.” It wasn't a question, and Sungjong didn't need an answer. He knew that Sungyeol's answers were lacking, and it made him angry.

”I said that we could get closer. That's what I want,” he answered, and it was so lacking that Sungjong wanted to punch his face.

”We are close,” Sungjong answered, and it was fragile, it was silent. It made Sungyeol angry, as expected.

”Why are you so damn stubborn!” Sungyeol yelled as he got up in a flash and disappeared like nothing never happened. It was then when Sungjong got honestly surprised. It wasn't a question either, and it didn't need an answer.

The answer would've been lacking, because Sungjong's answers were always lacking.

He had the flaws of seven, after all.

-

It was only a few days later when Sungjong found himself from the living room, once again. The ugly couch was comfortable, and when nobody was around, he spent his time there, ignoring the fact that he was always screaming to the others about the house. It was stupid, it was modern, it was too rich and it really seemed like they were improving their money. But the couch was too comfortable not to sit on, and Sungjong couldn't really resist. He had his pride, though, so it was a secret. (Sungyeol caught him, though, because he was always home.)

Sungjong liked to watch the stars from the view of the couch, although he hated stars. They were stupid, and he was stupid, and everything was so stupid. Maybe it was meant to be.

Someone knocked to the wall again, but unlike Sungyeol's soft yet powerful knock, it was more nervous and tough.

Sungjong was sure it was Myungsoo, and he was right. It didn't exactly take long for Myungsoo to sit next to Sungjong, sighing. It was exactly like with Sungyeol, and it was scaring him a little.

”Hello,” Myungsoo said, and luckily the words weren't the same anymore. Sungjong sighed, and decided not to answer. Maybe he would go away, and they would not argue like with Sungyeol. ”You don't have schedule either?”

Sungjong wanted to punch Myungsoo (like Howon would had), because he was stupid and naive and probably gullible too. That was how people usually portrayed him, right?

”Isn't it obvious?” Sungjong answered, though he didn't really want to. Slightly, he turned his head to look at his youngest hyung. He saw him smile a little, but it looked kind of forced.

”Funny. Anyways, everyone else has schedule for the rest of the night. I wonder why we don't,” Myungsoo continued, like it was the most normal thing to talk about.

It wasn't. They never talked about schedules. Everyone hated schedules.

”I never have them,” Sungjong said, and it was as dry and lifeless as it was meant to be. He never had schedules, only with the Infinite members, and once in a year, maybe, he was invited to a stupid program where people would laugh at him and make him do girly things. ”Sungyeol doesn't really have them either.”

Myungsoo seemed strange, and Sungjong wanted to escape again. Maybe, he could've visited his relatives, watch a horror movie and act like he was the happy lemon candy kid everyone thought he was. ”Sungyeol does, actually.” Myungsoo's voice was a quiet one, and it didn't fit him. ”He goes at nights, if you didn't know.”

Sungjong was honestly surprised.

Sungyeol has schedules alone, but I don't?

”I think he grew some popularity around Destiny.” Sungjong could hear the smile in his voice, and it was gross. ”Sungyeol is really tired, but his personality shows it off. It's pretty cool, actually, how he can be damn tired but happy at the same time. I wonder if he ever feels sad.”

Myungsoo is stupid, Sungjong thought. He was stupid, because it was stupid to ask questions like that. Sungyeol was happy, of course he was. What reason did he have not to be, anyway?

But Sungjong decided to go with Sungyeol ways, because Sungyeol's answers were lacking, and a lacking answer was an answer with a question, or simply, an answer which didn't show a reaction to the previous sentence. Sungjong hated it, but he thought it was pretty much cool and easy way to make people around you frustrated and confused.

(Myungsoo just happened to be gullible enough to think that everything was done out of good intentions.)

”Shouldn't you know, though? Aren't you guys best friends or whatever?”

Myungsoo stared. ”No, no. I don't think so. Sungyeol seems to be more comfortable with Woohyun and Sunggyu, anyways.” He seemed dazed, and Sungjong wondered why.

How more stupid can a person be, Sungjong asked himself, almost smiling.

”It's because he respects them.”

Myungsoo's daze was still there. He turned to look at Sungjong, eyes deep and colourful, like he understood something with fear. It was strange again, but Sungjong didn't have an excuse to go this time. ”Doesn't he respect me, then? What is there in me not to respect?”

Sungjong could see the sadness in Myungsoo's eyes, and he almost felt bad for him. Almost.

”I think you should talk to Sungyeol-hyung about this, hyung. Sungyeol-hyung is the one who knows his doings, not me.”

Myungsoo stared again, and Sungjong felt almost uncomfortable. He was shifting in his seat and trying to ignore the other's presence by looking at the stupid stars again, although they made him feel even more cruel that he already did.

I'm even more stupid than Myungsoo. Why can't I just listen to him? Why can't I help him?

”You're right, you're right.”

Sungjong nodded quietly.

”But Sungjong.”

”Hm?”

”If you ever feel the urge to talk, you can talk to me. You know that, right?”

Sungjong smiled. ”Now I know.”

And before Myungsoo left with a faint smile and a pat (which was Howon's thing), Sungjong wanted to say something.

”Hey, Myungsoo-hyung. You need to get over other people, and try to live on your own.”

Probably, it was stupid thing to say, but honestly, it didn't really cause any kind of harm. Myungsoo's false smile was enough to make Sungjong know that he was clinging onto Sungyeol, and he was doing it real bad.

(Again, Sungjong had a lot of reasons not to like Lee Sungyeol.)

-

Sungjong was lucky. Just like Sungyeol, Myungsoo decided to take his distance from Sungjong for a while. He was lucky, because he was tired of people playing with him. Sungyeol just came to him to argue and Myungsoo came to cry about Sungyeol (and Sungjong was damn done with Sungyeol). The only one Sungjong really wanted deal with at that time was Howon. Howon was a pretty clever guy who usually had nice intentions. He was awkward and blunt and careless, but he was kind and he never meant any harm for Sungjong.

Howon started visiting Sungjong's room at nights.

The first night, he knocked and it sounded so sure – not like the doubtful one of Myungsoo, at least. Sungjong knew that it was someone else that night, and he was glad he was right. When Howon opened the door with a small smile, Sungjong felt a smile grow to his lips as well.

”Hoya-hyung?” Sungjong said, acting a bit sleepy, because he was supposed to be sleeping. Stars just seemed to be more interesting.

”You weren't sleeping, right?” Howon asked, and Sungjong was about to shake his head and say that of course not, I was watching the damn stars which are stupid like Sungyeol-hyung. But of course, he couldn't do that.

”Yeah, I was, actually,” he answered, but Howon probably noticed the lie. Sungjong never was good at lying about small things. He usually got caught easily.

Howon just smirked, and walked to Sungjong's bed. He sat next to him, and turned his head to the window. ”Were you watching the stars?”

Of course he got caught. ”Yes.”

Howon laughed, and patted Sungjong's head. Sungjong closed his eyes. It felt good.

”Why do you like to watch the stars so much?”

Sungjong stopped to think about it for a moment, because no, he didn't. He hated stars, he hated how ugly and stupid they were. They reminded him of Sungyeol, and they reminded him of Myungsoo, because Sungyeol reminded him of Myungsoo. In the end, they reminded him of Infinite, because everything seemed to be linked with Lee Sungyeol.

”I don't like watching them,” Sungjong answered, and he was being honest this time.

”Really?” Howon asked, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. ”If you don't, why do you watch them so much?”

Sungjong paused again, and decided to say something wise.

”Because unwanted things are the most interesting ones.”

The words left his mouth with the image of Lee Sungyeol stained in his dark mind.

-

Howon was doing it every night, and every night he knew something that he shouldn't. Sungjong forgot who he was talking to, but at the same time, Howon had always been his favorite hyung to tell things.

It was funny, though, because Howon never talked.

Sungjong was used to the routine. Howon would come and Howon would go, and in the morning everything would be normal, everything would be okay.

It was a regular night like that again, and Sungjong was watching the stars. They almost didn't remind him of Sungyeol anymore. Sungyeol was almost vanished with his star-like eyes, but of course, when everything was about to be okay, it needed to get destroyed again. Life just happened to work that way.

Sungjong was waiting for Howon to knock the door, and it was just a couple minutes late from the usual timing when he finally heard a knock. Sadly, the knock wasn't Howon's. It wasn't tough and sure and confident and Howon, but it wasn't hesitant and weak and pointless like Myungsoo's either. Sungjong would've been happy if he didn't recognize the knock. But he did, and he knew that it belonged to his least favorite hyung.

”What do you want, Sungyeol-hyung?”

Sungyeol opened the door, and looked at Sungjong. ”Were you waiting for someone?” he asked, and Sungjong knew that he had reasons. It seemed like everything Sungyeol did was because of certain reasons, and he never did things out of thought, like everyone thought he did.

”No, why would I wait for someone?”

Sungyeol shrugged, and silently closed the door. His steps were almost hesitant, but he walked to Sungjong with a small shy smile on his lips. Sungjong thought it was cute, because Sungyeol never wore that kind of smile. He sat next to him, but didn't look at the stars like Howon did. He looked at Sungjong, and his eyes were kind but stupid, like stars.

”Hoya-hyung told me things. That you meet here, talk here and stuff. It's pretty cool,” Sungyeol said, and Sungjong got almost angry. Not because of Howon, but because of Sungyeol.

He could've told anyone else in this house.

”Awesome,” Sungjong said, voice dry and emotionless, because that was how he felt.

Sungyeol sighed.

”You know, Sungjong. I know I'm not a good friend, hyung, group member or anything, exactly, to you. But I'm not just gonna sit here and watch how you destroy yourself.”

Sungjong's head turned to Sungyeol in a flash. ”What do you mean?”

”Do you only see your flaws? Are you trying to change them, or what? What are you doing to yourself, Sungjong?”

Sungjong glared, and only glared. He was sick with people trying to mess with his life. It was his life for God's sake.

”Sungjong-ah,” Sungyeol said. ”I'm really sorry for everything. You know me, Sungjong. You know me, and I do and say stupid things out of control. I don't mean what I say, and I have a temper.” Sungyeol chuckled, but it was forced and awkward, just like his current expression. ”I'm sorry if I ever hurt you.”

Sungjong stopped the glaring, but he still stared.

”Whatever it is that you want me to do, I'll do it.”

Sungjong considered. ”What if I'd ask you to kiss me?”

Sungyeol's expression was enough to see. ”W-what?”

”I said, what if I'd asked you to kiss me.”

”S-Sungjong-ah.” Sungyeol's eyes were probably bigger than Dongwoo's mouth.

”Would you do it, then? Would you kiss me if I asked you to?” Sungjong challenged, enjoying every second of it.

”I-I d-don't know.”
 

Sungjong snorted.

”S-Sungjo–”

Sungyeol's words were cut short, when Sungjong crashed his lips against Sungyeol's in a flash, not even hesitating before doing it. Sungjong tasted Sungyeol's breath, and it tasted so damn good, like he always imagined.

Sungyeol wasn't as confident as Sungjong was, but he didn't pull off. He didn't stop Sungjong from kissing him, and that was already enough for Sungjong to continue. Sungyeol felt Sungjong's tongue on his lips, but he was afraid.

The girly Sungjong he knew would never do that.

Sungyeol didn't even know what he was doing, but he opened his mouth just a little, and Sungjong took the chance faster than they thought.

It was weird, strange, new, and bizarre and outlandish and everything but normal.

Suddenly, Sungjong didn't feel so confident, but it didn't matter anymore.

He had already done it.

They didn't stop the kissing until they felt faint, short of breath and in pain (of pleasure), and Sungyeol pulled off, looking at Sungjong with large eyes. But this time, they weren't only large. There was something else, something powerful and sentimental, but Sungjong didn't know what it was.

It was stupid, and Sungjong knew it. It was stupid and they were stupid and everything was stupid, just like the stars in the night sky.

It was new and it was unwanted, somehow, at least to other people living in the same house with them, but damn, it felt good.

And they both knew how stupid it was for them to do, but this time it was Sungyeol who captured Sungjong's lips to his.

It was more familiar, better, more amazing and even more pleasuring than the last one, because it was no longer too strange for them to handle.

It was wrong, because Myungsoo. It was wrong, because Howon.

But most of all, it was stupid.

It just felt so damn good.

Stupid things are unwanted, and unwanted things are the most interesting ones.

-

”Thank you, Hoya-hyung.”

Howon smiled, but it was fake and false and created and forced like everything else at that moment. ”No problem, Sungjongie.”

Howon was gone then, and Sungjong sighed. Sungyeol kissed his cheek, and it was stupid.

(Yes, they got caught, but only because Sungyeol was stupid.)

Sungyeol was stupid, Howon was stupid, Myungsoo was stupid and the others were stupid too. But most of all, Sungjong was stupid, because he had all the flaws from his hyungs. Of course he had, because he was learning everyday, and s were the ones to teach him.

He didn't escape to watch movies with his relatives anymore, and if he wanted to talk, he would go to Howon, because Sungyeol was too cocky to understand at times. At least Howon tried.

But Sungjong, Sungjong was cocky too. He was cocky because Sunggyu was cocky, and because Sungyeol was almost as arrogant as their leader was. He was blunt and awkward because Howon was, and he was careless and fun-going and all too childish because Dongwoo was. He was greasy and idiotic because Woohyun was. He was gullible and naive at times, because Myungsoo was, and he was too aware of his flaws, because Sungyeol was.

Lee Sungjong was stupid, because Infinite was.

Lee Sungjong was learning, and he was growing up. Everyone just happened to have flaws, no matter what.

His just happened to be the flaws of seven, because he had his own flaw as well.

Everyone always thought that it was Sungjong who had the easiest time. But actually, it was Sungjong who had the hardest time.

And that was his flaw.

Pretentious, in its highest point.

It was the opposite of Sungyeol's flaw, which wasn't only the ways and arrogant words slipping from his careless mouth. He was dismissive, and he would always find a way to make things related to him feel smaller, like they didn't even matter.

Sungjong, in the other hand, would always make things bigger. Whether it was because he was trouble-free or the completely opposite, he would get the best out of it.

Lee Sungjong wasn't the little lemon candy kid everyone thought he was. No, he was more, because everyone had secrets, and everyone had something in them that other people didn't know about.

Lee Sungjong was pretentious, and Lee Sungyeol was dismissive. It fitted, and they fitted. That was why it didn't feel so wrong and unfair to kiss here and there, and to make Sungjong's favorite hyung (or second) to keep a cruel secret from everyone.

And that was why Sungyeol was the one to visit Sungjong's room at nights.

a/n: i told you it's rubbish. //jenn if you ever happen to read this again SCREW YOU FOR NOT COMMENTING.