I walk into my house with a long sigh. Is it just me or is getting over my father’s death getting harder and harder every day? I guess that’s how it’s supposed to be though, because the rest of my family looked like they were taking it hard, my mom looking the worst. It’s been three months since his death and I just can’t comprehend that he is actually gone, or maybe I just don’t want to. I would hate to lose the one I love; I couldn’t imagine losing Yoseob, which leads me to the question; why haven’t I heard from him lately? I lost connection with him last month, he changed his phone number. I guess some fans found out what his original number was and they wouldn’t leave him alone. He still hasn’t tried to call me with his new number, so I have no way to communicate with him. Maybe that’s why I have been having such a hard time with my dad’s death lately; because Yoseob isn’t here for me. I miss him so much, and things were going okay after I left South Korea two years ago.

I had just exited the plane in America. I looked around until I saw a familiar mop of jet black curly hair. “BUBBY!” I screamed as I ran towards my brother I haven’t seen for months. He turned around with a giant smile as he opened his arms and screamed the rudest thing someone could have said to someone they missed;

“WELCOME HOME YOU STUPID IDJIT THAT I DIDN’T REALLY MISS!!!”

I stopped short in my running, I was only about a foot away from him. I narrowed my eyes and poked his chest with my pointer finger as I replied to him, “Okay for that you won’t get a hug and when we get home I get to kick your as-“ He stopped me short as he pulled me in for a tight hug. “Oh, shut up. You know I missed you sissy.” I smiled up at him as we both pulled away from the hug. He grabbed my luggage and we began walking to his car. “So…..how’s dad and mom?” I hesitantly asked as I looked at him through my peripheral vision. I saw his smile slightly fade before he replaced it with another bright fake smile. Uh-oh. “They’re doing okay. They have been better but now that you’re here it’s all good.” He said as he glanced at me and smiled.  I nodded my head in understanding ‘I don’t want to talk about how dad’s dying and there is nothing anyone can do either’ I thought to myself. We soon got to his car and drove home, where I settled in and got into a routine of helping with my dad, going to school, working a job, and then sleeping. It was a lot of work but I got through it for a year and nine months because Yoseob was always ready to listen to me and to cheer me up. But I started to notice that I would call him less and less, especially when my dad had died. He was lucky if I talked to him once a week. It was a really hard time for the both of us.

When my dad died I became a hermit, never leaving my room except for lunch and dinner, (I never woke up early enough for breakfast, and I don’t think anyone did.) I didn’t answer any calls, not from Yoseob, beast, or Candi. I slept most of the day and night but when I wasn’t asleep I was sobbing uncontrollably. I regretted not being here when they found out he had cancer. ‘You were out having fun; you didn’t care about your father. You only cared about yourself, you self-centered poor excuse for a daughter.’ I would always here that voice in my mind saying things like that, and strangely enough, the voice was that of my deceased father; which only made me feel worse inside. No matter how much I cried and screamed that it wasn’t true, that I DID care, and I WASN’T a horrible daughter, the voice wouldn’t go away. I was dying from the inside and I was slowly breaking apart.

I wouldn’t call Yoseob even when I heard his worried voice messages.  I would tell myself ‘he doesn’t really care; he only calls so he won’t feel guilty.’ But in reality I was just insecure and didn’t think I deserved his love, so I didn’t call. I didn’t answer him either; I didn’t answer his calls or texts. I just ignored him like I did with everyone else in my life. I just didn’t care anymore. I didn’t care if everyone was worried for me, because I wanted someone to worry so much that they confronted me about it instead of looking at me like I was a sick and hurt puppy. I didn’t care if everyone started ignoring me when I wanted to start talking to them again, I would deserve it for not informing them of how I was doing when my dad died. I didn’t care if everyone just walked away from me and didn’t look back, because then I could crumble and break into pieces in peace. I just simply didn’t care.

Soon Yoseob didn’t try to call as often, I assume he was getting ready for his comeback. I prayed that he was healthy and doing well, maybe he even found someone new, worthy of his love; someone who answered his calls and told him how they were doing. That person was who I use to be, but now I’m not that person; I’m a dead soul that just walked around wishing they were dead. After about three weeks Yoseob just stopped calling altogether. That was when I decided that enough was enough; I needed to get back to life, because when someone dies you can’t just stop living your life. It wasn’t just me who lost a loved one; my whole family did. But the difference between my family and me is that; my family kept living, but I didn’t.

That day I tried calling Yoseob, but the operator said that the phone number had been cancelled. I was completely crushed. I thought I had lost the love of my life. I thought he was just gone; tired of being the only one trying with our relationship and not getting any responses. I felt angry, ‘Did he not love me anymore? I thought I meant something to him but I guess I didn’t. He’s a LIAR!’ I would think to myself. I was completely done with life, but I couldn’t just leave my mom and brother alone. I needed to stay for them, so I did. I stayed for the people that have put up with me the most. The people who finally got me back into the game of life. This is where I got the power to live again, if not for myself then for my mom and my brother; for my dad!

That was a month ago and now I had a job; working at a flower shop, and I am slowly trying to get better. I moved out of my old house because it kept reminding me of my dad; I kept going back into that hermit state. I was relieved to be away from all the memories of fights and what not. I still visit my mom there and what not but I don’t have to sleep in the same room that my dad always tucked me in at when I was five.

I headed into the kitchen and heated up some leftovers from when I had dinner at my mom’s last night. After reheating the lasagna I walked over to the red couch in front of the TV and took a seat. As I grabbed the remote I thought I heard someone yell “Yoseob, you have to put the tie UNDER the collar!” but I just shook it off until I found my desired show; Who’s Line Is It Anyways? This was one of the funniest shows I have ever seen. It’s an improvisational show, where everything is made up at the top of the comedians’ heads. They were just starting the ‘scenes in a hat’ segment; my favorite. I was laughing at their funny ideas and I was genuinely smiling. I use to watch this show with my dad ALL the time, and it brought back good memories. I heard a knock at my door and went to go check it but no one was there. ‘Hmmm, I must be going crazy. I keep hearing things.’ I thought to myself as I glanced downwards. I saw a note card that said ‘Prince charming is waiting for you at a secret destination. Solve this upcoming puzzle for the first destination.’ I looked at the puzzle and it seemed easy. Prince charming? Who could that be? I decided to not ponder it too much and went to get dressed. I wore a soft pink sleeveless dress with a leather brown belt around my waist. I wore brown sandals and my hair was braided into a nice side braid. I could look nice for this unknown Prince Charming; couldn’t I? I walked towards the door as I looked at the puzzle again. It was a riddle. It said;

The person that you miss so dearly,

Who can’t return anymore,

Wishes you to be happy,

When you’re standing at their memorial.

Since you won’t see them

At Sunday school anymore,

Look to their resting home

To see what’s in store.’ I read over it a few more times before trying to decipher it. The person I miss that can’t come back. They want me to be happy even though they have passed; my dad. Since I can’t see him at church I need to go to his resting home to see what else I have to do to see what I have to do to meet Prince Charming; my dad’s grave site. So the riddle was saying that I need to go to my dad’s grave site to get the next clue. Well then, let’s get to this.

I walked out of the house and headed towards the local cemetery. I walked through the gate as I nodded towards the security man and continued towards the grave I knew all too well. I walked up the hill that not three months ago we, my family and I, carried a casket up with us. It took all my power to breathe properly when the marble stone came into view. I walked up it and bent down as I wiped some dirt off of it. “Hey daddy, I miss you. Are you watching over me? Can you see how much I miss you? Do you know where this little adventure will lead me? Who’s the prince, daddy?” I said as I tried to blink away the few tears that started to gather in my eyes. I looked around and saw another card taped to my dad’s grave. Classy. I grabbed it and read the lines on the front; ‘You miss him don’t you? You say it’s okay, that you’re fine. But your prince knows a different story. Solve the riddle on the back to find out your next location.’ I flipped over the card and saw a number; 413, a symbol; it looked like a figure eight and a picture of a swan……The swan ice rink on 413 south boulevard! This was one of the best memories I had with my family; we all were going to try and learn to ice skate so we went to the swan ice rink, as it is entitled by the city. My dad had the hardest time keeping his balance so he decided to just scoot around on his instead. It was a really happy time.

I exited the cemetery and turned left walking towards the ice rink when these two high school boys came up to me with some roses and chocolates. “From the prince himself.” One of them said before handing me the stuff and running off. Wow, whoever this prince was sure knows how to plan an adventure! I continued walking to the ice rink and I saw the doorway. I walked up and put my hand on the door, thinking about the time we came here. I probably look like someone straight out of a drama…. I entered the main building as the lady looked up from her phone. “Uhm, are you Keui?” She asked me. I nodded as she reached for something, I soon found out it was another card. I thanked her as I headed out of the building before looking at the card. It read; ‘Wow, you skate? The prince is impressed. Maybe you two can go skating later but for now, find out who he is by going to your next location.’ I turned it over and saw a question; ‘Where are most of your memories with your father at?’ I immediately knew where they were talking about; home. I ran to my mom’s house and banged on the door until my brother opened up the door with a bright smile……that soon faded. “Oh, it’s just you.” He said with a bored tone. I pushed him out of the way and ran to my room looking all around for that white note card. My brother walked into my room with a very disapproving look on his face. “You don’t need to push me. That was just plain rude.” He said as I cheered. He gave me a questioning look before I quickly replied with a, “What? Oh, sorry. You were in the way and I need to find my prince.” I quickly ran out of my room, down the stairs, and out of the house before I looked at the card. ‘This is the fourth card of the day. So go back to 2004 in May. Where were you when your dad had found you broken hearted? Look in the place to lead you to the prince.’ Hmm. I was upset because I had lost my best friend so I went to our favorite place….the swing set at my old elementary school! I ran down the street and took a left careful not to drop the roses or chocolates. I ran to the swing set and saw a teddy bear. I lifted it up to reveal the card. ‘You have been through a lot, the prince does know. He is here to save the day and he is standing by the lake.’ The lake? That was a mile away. I started walking towards the lake until I saw a pink bike with a basket attached to it. There was another note (What’s with him and notes?) it said; ‘here is a bike for you princess. See you soon.’ I quickly put the gifts in the basket and rode it towards the lake, eager to see who this prince was. I was genuinely smiling again. I saw the lake gazebo all lit up. I saw a very familiar looking backside of a man standing there looking at the lake. I quickly jumped off the bike, forgetting about the gifts as I called out to him, “Y-Y-Yoseob?” the man turned around at the sound of his name and flashed me the brightest smile I have ever seen. I ran to him and jumped into his arms as he hugged me tightly, neither one of us wanting to let go. Finally he released me and I looked him up and down before staring into his eyes. “I thought…..you……I thought you had grown tired of me. I thought you had stopped loving me and found someone new. I thought I lost you.” I said as tears streamed down my face. Yoseob just smiled as he wiped away my tears before pulling me in for a passionate kiss. I smiled into the kiss. I missed the feeling of his lips on mine. I missed the feeling of his arms around my waist, and mine around his neck. I missed the feeling of him. “No baby. You couldn’t lose me even if you wanted to. I had to change my number and I lost all my contacts. I would never stop loving you. You’re my reason to live, to sing, and to work hard; you’re my everything.” He whispered before pulling me in for another kiss. “I’m always here for you, okay?” He stated before looking into my eyes. I nodded as I smiled again. I needed him.

~8 years later~

A lot has changed since Yoseob’s little adventure. I’m happily married to him with two twin boys; Jae Kyung and Jae Hyun. We live in Korea but we get to visit my family all the time, which means I get to watch over my mom. We all are doing better now. My mom is smiling more; I think she even has a secret admirer. My brother is married also; I haven’t got to meet the unlucky lady just yet. And I started to talking to all my friends again; beast and Candi. Everything is perfect.

“MOM! AUNTIE CANDI AND UNCLE KWANGIE ARE HERE!!” Jae Hyun yelled. I walked into the living room and gave my ‘sister’ a big hug. Oh, yeah did I mention Candi ended up marrying Kikwang. Who knew? We all sat down at the table getting ready to eat when Yoseob came in with Jae Kyung. “Alright mister, eat all your ramen. Or your daddy will eat it for you.” Yoseob said in a stern voice, except for the last part; he whispered that instead. “Yang Yoseob, you will not eat his ramen!” I exclaimed as my husband sat down next to me. He turned to with a sly grin and I knew what was coming. “Yoseob put the water balloon down right this instant!” I said trying to be stern. He chuckled before he whispered “I do what I want.” And threw the water balloon at me and ran away. And that is how I ended up chasing Yoseob around the living room while he let out girly, i mean "manly" screams. 

Hey Guys! I hope you enjoyed this oneshot. i know the ending is bad, but it's hard writing endings! Please comment and subscribe. also, please check out my daehyun oneshots. thank you guys!