a/n: blame this set of ing gifs :( idk how this turn out...baeksoo

cravings.

cravings can come in all sorts of form but for kyungsoo, its the craving for affection. baekhyun's affection. its what kyungsoo always crave for because he can never get enough of it, and when he gets it, he wants more, he always wanted more. he's addicted to it. addicted to baekhyun's touch. addicted to his affectionate gaze. addicted to his voice which makes his body tingles at wrong places. 

kyungsoo doesnt know if this addiction is right or wrong, so he just decorate the word addiction with craving. it sounds nicer, prettier, and fancier. not as dirty and dark as the word addiction. 

the one horrible thing about craving is the person who feeds your craving. baekhyun knows about kyungsoo's craving, so he feeds him little by little, one teaspoon at a time, not too little not too much, just enough for kyungsoo to come back to him for more. and when kyungsoo comes back, baekhyun will increase the dosage, it works exactly like drugs. 

while kyungsoo crave for baekhyun's affection, baekhyun crave for fame.

fame in which he builds on kyungsoo's desire for him. the more affectionate he gets with kyungsoo, the more fame he gets, because that is exactly what the public wants, what the fans want, what the company wants. baekhyun has already learned it the hard way ever since he debuted. passion? its bull, what the entertainment industry wants is money, money, and more money. nobody cares about the passion you have for singing or dancing. you do what the public wants you to do, you look how the public wants you to look like, you fit in the damn description, everyone likes you, everyone gives you their money willingly, and you get the fame in return.

its a sad yet harsh truth.

so when kyungsoo steals glances at baekhyun during one fansign (because he couldnt deny how good looking baekhyun was) baekhyun decides its time to feed his little kyungsoo some sugar. kyungsoo was playing with his marker pen, turning and flipping it while waiting for another fan to come up to him, he felt a warm hand on his.

baekhyun, god damn it.

that made the crowd went insane, fangirls were squealing and screaming at the top of their voices the moment baekhyun holds onto kyungsoo's  hand.

kyungsoo could feel his heart beating fast, could feel it thumping hard against his chest, so loud that all he could make out was the deafening lub dub sound coming from his chest. he chewed on his lips hard, not daring himself to look at baekhyun right in the eye because he knows thats where he falls, in baekhyun's deep and soulful eyes. 

sensing no response from kyungsoo, baekhyun gave kyungsoo's hand a little squeeze with a faint hint of wanting kyungsoo's attention. he needs kyungsoo's attention and he knows kyungsoo will give it to him with no doubt.

and he was right.

kyungsoo turns around to look at him with those huge eyes, twinkling with happiness. sometimes baekhyun feels sad for kyungsoo, doesnt he know that all these were for show? does he really believe that i did this for him? but baekhyun never tells kyungsoo, because he feels that there is no need to ruin this perfect show that is going on. when the puzzle pieces fit, you dont mess it up, you leave it as how it is.

kyungsoo's eyes are leaking with his yearning for baekhyun's affection. baekhyun does what he always do. he smiles at kyungsoo, flashing his pearly white teeth. smile. its a veil he puts on to get the public affection.

no matter how many times kyungsoo has seen baekhyun's smile, he could never get over it. today is just another day where kyungsoo gets hit by a wave of emotions as he looks at baekhyun's smiley face. a smile that does not reach his eyes. this is what they said about addiction. no matter how terribly wrong is that deed, you still do it. kyungsoo knows that it was all for show but he still falls for it, fall into the deep abyss in which he has no hopes of climbing back up. 

but kyungsoo couldnt care less, all he wanted was baekhyun, baekhyun and only baekhyun. so he laces his fingers with baekhyun, intertwining them before clasping onto it tightly. he know this hand would let go of him once all cameras are down. kyungsoo knows, but he still grabs onto it as if his life is depending on it. baekhyun was delighted at the reaction and attention he is getting so he leans in closer to kyungsoo, so close that he knows how kyungsoo will shy away from his hot breath but he stops just before kyungsoo has the chance to lean away. 

"dont move."

baekhyun leans in closer, invading kyungsoo's personal space. kyungsoo could feel a shiver of pleasure running down his spine as he squeezes his eyes shut, anticipating for what comes next.

baekhyun's hot breath was lingering at his earlobe. 

so close yet so far. far away from kyungsoo's reach.

and then baekhyun is gone. 

the sounds of the screamings are back, but kyungsoo doesnt know which one is louder, the screamings in his head or the screaming fangirls. he turned to look at baekhyun, unable to recover from the shock. there is a smirk playing on his face. and thats when kyungsoo feels the world is falling apart. he has fallen for it again, despite knowing the aftermath. 

everything went by in a blur. they signed another waht feels like a million copies before standing up and waved to the crowd with plastic smiles on their faces.

the cameras are gone, the lights are off, the curtains are closed. 

the show is done.

and what comes next is the withdrawal. the craving for what is lacking in his life, the emptiness in his heart which he desperately wants baekhyun to fill it with affection....or love. 

kyungsoo would always hang on to the hope that there will be next time. the next time baekhyun turns his head to him, the next time baekhyun opens his heart for kyungsoo and kyungsoo could always wait, he could deal with the pain in the mean time. 

but not for today, baekhyun has gone way overboard, baekhyun has crossed that one fine line which snaps the last straw in kyungsoo. kyungsoo couldnt wait for the next time anymore, so he tugs onto baekhyun's wrist when they were all finally back in their room. his skin so fair, so milky, so smooth kyungsoo felt like he is tainting baekhyun. 

a push and a pull.

kyungsoo finds himself lying flat on the bed with baekhyun hovering on top of him. pinning both his hands to his side. baekhyun's grip was so tight kyungsoo was sure that it will leave fingerprints on it. 

kyungsoo looked into baekhyun's eyes, searching for the one thing that he has been yearning for so long.

love.

but there is none. 

all he could see was lust.

and kyungsoo knows, he has been used. he is just another tool for baekhyun to vent his frustrations. 

but kyungsoo still wants baekhyun, he still wants him no matter how badly he is treated. he still hands out his heart to baekhyun even though he knows that baekhyun would only shatter it into million pieces but he knows that he could aways patch it up later. as long as he is given enough of time, he could mend it and be in a good state in no time.

so he lets baekhyun overtake his senses. he lets baekhyun conquer his body.

kyungsoo holds on tightly to his heart, not wanting it to break so soon, even if its only 1 second, because the heart is what is holding him together, once its gone, he will be gone too. 

baekhyun's fingers ghost over his skin, shutting down all his senses. 

"why do you want to do this when you know i dont love you at all?"

because its you that i want.

kyungsoo doesnt let that slip out of his mouth instead he closes whats left between them and crushed his lips onto baekhyun.

thats when everything feels right. despite how wrong are his actions, this moment feels so right when their mouths fit each other. no words are needed, because the actions are enough to tell.

i need you and i want you.

baekhyun taste like heaven. if thats how heaven taste like. sliding his tongue in and out of baekhyun's mouth, he tastes every inch of baekhyun, and onto it a little too hard to show how much he wants baekhyun. 

baekhyun pulled his head behind so he could go in deeper. in he goes, deeper and deeper until kyungsoo was deduced to a mess. thats what he wanted, the sense of satisfaction when he knows he's the one who gives more satisfaction. this way, kyungsoo will come back to him, he wont be the one that comes crawling back like a pathetic little .

yes pathetic, thats what kyungsoo's made of. 

baekhyun feeds onto his lust, creeping onto every inch of kyungsoo as his knuckles dig deeper and deeper, earning himself sounds of pleasure from kyungsoo. kyungsoo could feel his heart wrenched little by little as baekhyun digs in deeper into his body. 

his heart was gone by the time baekhyun inserts himself into his body. as if drilling a hole into his heart, kyungsoo could do nothing except thrashing under baekhyun helplessly as the guy on top pounds into him mercilessly, ignoring the excruciating pain on kyungsoo's face. baekhyun doesnt care how the others feel, he only care how he feels right now. 

and kyungsoo knows, that is why kyungsoo shuts down his heart and stop feeling. 

no matter how full to the brim he is filled, kyungsoo still feels empty in his heart because all baekhyun want is his body, not his heart.

baekhyun gave out a loud groan as he empties himself into kyungsoo. 

he got up and left. no cuddle no snuggle, there is no love at all. it wasnt making love, it was .

kyungsoo was left alone again. he felt extraordinarily cold, because whats left of him is just an empty shell. he curled into a fetus position, a position where human being takes whenever they felt insecure. he curls around himself so tightly because he could already feel himself falling apart, bit by bit. kyungsoo is just trying his best to hold  it together, he doesnt want to break into too many pieces because it would take too long to heal and he wouldnt want to wait for such a long period of time. he needs to feed on it constantly, there is no way of breaking the habit.

just then, a soft hand caress his face. a touch so light and tender that it ignites the dying flame in kyungsoo's heart. 

i want you.

baekhyun pulls the blanket and place it on kyungsoo's small body, sheltering him from the cold that was chilling him to the bones.

a kiss on kyungsoo's forehead, a reminder for him to come back.

"Till next time."

and kyungsoo falls, he falls ever so deeply he couldnt remember how was it like to fall on hard grounds. 

all he knows is that baekhyun will always be there, offering him the rope, allowing him to to come back to him until he decides to cut snap the rope and lets kyungsoo falls again.

till then, kyungsoo shall wait. 

im sorry if it turns out ty but baeksoo is just :(