purple : present

grey : past

omo, sorry for mistakes ahah I will correct that, enjoy it (:

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"Thanks again, Mr. Kim." I smile at him before answer: "You’re welcome, Jongdae. See you the next week." The teenager bows to say goodbye and closes the office door behind him, leaving me alone in this room now too familiar. How long had I been here ... Although ten years, I think. I sit on my chair, write  few notes about this last session, put my things and finally leave the office. On leaving the building, I head to my car, which is only a few meters, so I can keep an eye on it when I'm in my office. Once inside, I put the ignition and start my daily walk of night. The same landscapes unfold before me, since all this time, but I'm not tired by them. All this nature made ​​me relive at each breath of air, unlike the city where I suffocate. I was born in the countryside, and even if I've lived for a long time in the city than in my field, I still do not get used.

It took me a good half hour drive before arriving at destination. I park the car on the porch, I assure me of having closed it - this car is a gift, reason of my vigilance - and then I make my way to the entrance of the house, with a haste that I was not looking for hide.

Inside, I walk on tiptoe through the rooms embedded in darkness and silence. I go through the bathroom to wash up and put on a short night before entering the bedroom. I try not to crack the floor behind me, and this is with success I climb on the bed already welcoming a person. Delicately, I raise the cool sheets to slip below and this is without wait that I encircle my arms around your belly, enjoying fully to recover your body close to mine. You sleep soundly, yet you turn around, facing me, your face buried in my neck. Your breath caresses my chest, your hands slide over my hips. I smile stupidly feeling your warmth envelop me, always with this endorphin effect. I observe you while Morpheus keeps you in your sweet dreams. My fingers draw every feature of your face; your skin is so clear and soft. Reflections of the Moon illuminate your body that I knew so well, my lips are deposited on your forehead, then your nose to slip on your plump lips. I love your kisses and would like to have more of these, but you look so peaceful in your sleep that it is impossible for me to wake you up. So I close my eyes, burying my face in your dark hair and wandering in our memories.

That night, I relived our meeting. I remembered it as if it was yesterday, yet eighteen years had passed since...

Mom and I had just moved to Seoul, for health reasons. We had already unpacked our boxes and just starting to develop this small apartment. Mom was a very sweet and charming woman. She did not hesitate to leave her job to take care of me. But this idea did not appeal to me, even though I loved most of all spend time with her, the work was much more important, so I made ​​sure to quickly become independent. I was seven years old, and I knew already preparing my dinner and my toilet, which was a lot.

While I was putting my comics in my new room -those of Spiderman- the doorbell of the house had sounded. My curiosity had led me to walk to the entrance and see with who mom discussed.

There was a small, elegant lady, not older than mom or she hid it well, which was holding a homemade dish. Then I had guessed that it was a welcome present.

"Thank you, Mrs. Do, it is very kind. And I apologize in advance if we do some noise for a few days. It will take a week I think." The woman had nodded, smiling. "Do not worry, we understand. If you need help with anything, our door is right in front of yours."

She was really nice, I liked her already without knowing her. Being within eyesight of the lady, she had spotted me.

"Here's a cute little boy." I had blushed slightly at the remark and I was advanced to them when mom made ​​me a sign to come.

"Jongin, is Mrs. Do, our neighbor." I had stepped back and bowed to greet before smiling politely. She had returned me the gesture and a person was added to the presentations.

The lady had smiled and the boy's hair standing in front of us. I had looked him carefully, admiring his features. He had ebony hair, cut short, which contrasted with his ​​pale skin, and he was about my size. His eyes were wide and sparkling, and his thick eyebrows gave him a worried look. His nose was small and cute and his full lips slightly sulky. He made ​​me think a lot about a cartoon character -I liked comics-.

"It seems the school is already finished. Here is my son, Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo, they are our new neighbors, Mrs. Kim and her son, Jongin." The boy had chewed his lip while his mother explained to him, and his eyes looked larger than before, which amused me.

"Hello, Mrs. Kim, hello Jongin-ssi, it's a pleasure to meet you." He had bowed in a perfect right angle. I could not help but ashamed to face his good manners. His voice was soft and soothing for a child his age, I had deduced his advanced maturity. I had bowed for a second time to respond him.

"You are not very talkative." He had said, smiling softly. I had looked down in shame before meet mom's gaze. She had looked at me with a sad smile, and then turned towards our neighbors. "He cannot speak ..."

"Oh, he has a sore throat? I have some good remedies at home..." The lady made ​​me laugh, she was really kind. "Jongin is reached of aphasia." It turned out that Mrs. Do was a nurse, when she had asked what type of aphasia it was, mom had replied "Broca" at advanced stage, that was to say the mutism. I still did not fully understand this "pathology" as doctors said so, it was too complicated.

I had looked the boy's face and he had lost some of his brightness at the sound of these words. He had approached me and took my hands in his. "I'm really sorry, Jongin-ssi, I did not know! Do not blame me, please, I want to be your friend..."

The countdown was launched and our history had begun.

This small thoughtful boy, I could still see him today. You were always the same, you had not changed, I loved you for it after all.

You know, it was hard to believe these words that day. I felt so bad because I did not see the point for you to be friends with someone who does not speak. A person you will never hear his voice. I was used to be rejected, I understood others. If I had not been silent, I would like talking and laughing with my friends. But nature was done like that, is not it? I honestly thought to be alone all my life. Then you had arrived. You were there at my side. You felt no discomfort to my disability, you left me time to write my notes to answer your questions when we were not playing video games. My favorite part was when you were reading my comics out loud - you do not have them at your house, your mother did not want - taking different tones that made ​​me laugh. What I loved your voice. It resembled well with your small frame. I envy you so much, it was not jealousy, but simply admiration, you were my role model. Without you, I would never have discovered all these pleasures of life, these feelings.

You could cook meals for me when I was sick and mom participated in important events, which happened quite often. Do you remember? These moments I cherished as much as I could. Our visits to town after your college days, dance party held in your high school. All the films we saw at this cinema, at the end of the street, or all of these cafés where we set foot, so you like these drinks that I was almost jealous. Did you know?

But the day of your confession will remain forever the most beautiful memory you have offered me during my life. Because our birthdays were only two days apart, we made ​​them a habit to celebrate together. That day, you were nineteen years officially, but we had thought you always had eighteen while I was about to have. I often laughed at the thought that you were the oldest of us, when you were first to act like a child for have something, and in addition to that, you were a head shorter than me. It was hilarious. However, I liked it, I liked that feeling. I wanted to be the one to succumb to your whims, who will protect you of the world, who will grow old beside you, who would thank you for everything.

Here's how I saw my future, and no other. The day of our anniversary, I had brought you to the zoo. It was the first time you went there and you were excited as a chip. We had spent all day and arrived in the evening, we were back home, my home specifically. Mom was gone, she left us places. You had cooked as your usual a chocolate cake, my favorite, and it was with recrimination on the "stupid bet" that I had launched at the output - and of course I won - you had fed me. I could only laugh silently against your face sullen yet blushed.

Finally, we had gone to my room to watch a movie. You had naturally snuggled against me while I was looking for your hand with mine. There was the contact that I could use to prove how much I wanted to you, it replaced the words. But I had so wanted to tell you.

The movie ended, we were about to sleep when you had insisted on going on the balcony, saying that you had something to check. I had sighed but followed you, taking a coat. It was cold outside, and you were shaking like a leaf. What an idiot. I had covered your little body of the thick clothing and you had asked me to sit on one of these chairs. Intrigued, I had obeyed, and against all odds you'd put you to make gestures with your little hands frozen. The beatings of my heart had accelerated. Gestures that I knew only too well. My brain had deciphered every movement of your fingers, hands, every shape, every facial expression. Words, meanings, sentences. A heavy feeling had invaded my whole being and I could not hold back my tears on signs: "For six years I'm trying to learn your language, six years I discovered your difficulties but also the wonders of this language. I do not know if it's perfect, but I'm training hard. I want to communicate with you by all means, I want to be closer to you. I hope that this gift will pleases you... Happy Birthday, Jongin. I love you."

You had approached me and sat up on my knees, I was entwined with all your strength. You were trying somehow to calm my shaking while I did not always believe it. You had learned my language and said you loved me.

You had departed from me and forced me to dip my eyes in yours. They were so bright and full of love. I had never seen you so beautiful...

"... gin ..." Why is it happened then? When everything had become perfect, why?

"What's going on? He does not even recognize me! I am a stranger, in his eyes! "

If you had listened to me, you never listened to me. What an idiot...

"Calm down Mr. Kim, in a few days he will recognize you. It takes time. He will need you, things will disturb him, he managed to remember much of his past, but... "

"... Jongin ..."

I open my eyes at the sound of your voice. The sun blind me, I turn my head to avoid it and falling on your angelic face. You laugh softly at my expression, my heart racing at the same time, then you get back your face up to mine and just peck my lips tenderly. "Happy birthday, my love."

"... the rest will be completely forgotten." ... If only you remembered.