Part One – Discovering the Waterfront

Things were not always like one wanted them to be. Hyukjae had already grasped that during his 26 years of living. His dream had been fulfilled; being able to stand on stage and perform his best hobby was what he had always wanted, and had always tried to find a way into. He had been through both hardships and simplicity getting to the point in life he currently was, and wanted to remain in.

Sometimes, you encounter a calm area, where the waves are barely visible and the water reflects the stout sun rising from the horizon. You sail with no hardships and your heart feels light, being able to beat with a steady pace. At other times, there are storms, when the waves rise and pull you into struggle. It is when the sky is black and the wind drifts in anger, and you find your heart pounding frantically inside of your chest.

You can never know when the storms will occur, and thus, there might lay a constant worry inside of your stomach.

Hyukjae had sailed through the seven seas, he thought.

***

A little, black fly hit Hyukjae's nasal bone as he shot his eyes opened a Tuesday afternoon and turned his head towards the right, feeling how his shoulder was being jolted back and forth. His was slightly aching and his brows were sore from too much frowning in his sleep, yet the smile meeting with his eyes and glowing towards his direction seemed to dim it. His tired glance beamed up in an instant watching his brown-haired band member shake his right shoulder with the corners of his mouth stretched into a gentle smile. His hairstyle had not changed the least since Hyukjae could last remember before he dozed off, and therefore he quickly came to the conclusion that Donghae had been awake all the while. Somehow, the other felt bad about it; he usually did not sleep in vehicles, and the younger band member could merely have nudged him to wake up and spend time with him. Hyukjae laid a wild guess that the other had found a way to be entertained.

“We’re here”, a deep, yet sweet voice uttered, and Hyukjae raised his hands into the air, stretching his clothed arms and body by arching his back. The scenery outside of the large windows on each sides of the wagon began showing off its details, indicating that the train had indeed soon stopped at its destination.

Donghae was going to visit his dear brother in Mokpo, and he had definitely not hesitated to ask Hyukjae to follow. The two considered themselves the closest among the members of Super Junior, not ever scrupling to show their affection towards each other, almost to the extent of the fellow members asking them to get a room. But they found it funny.

On that note, they were not even close to lovers. They could hug, sleep in the same bed, shower in the same room and basically follow each other everywhere, but the thought of a romantic relationship seemed to never be coherent to them, especially considering the fact that they had never brought up the subject of love or uality. Both shamelessly thought that everything would remain the way it was. But there was just a tiny bit of misunderstanding swirling between the two friends, or perhaps, it was something a lot bigger.

Hyukjae swayed his head to the right to keep his blonde bangs from falling to cover his eyes as he stumbled with a bag flung over his shoulder through the aisle of the train, joining the line of people going to exit the vehicle. The area had become rather soggy without him noticing; the things that usually disturbed him had not made him even the slightest disturbed during the trip. He did not take too long to ponder about the causes of his irregular and sudden nap, although small things often could get stuck in his mind for a longer time than usual. He could barely count how many times Donghae had practically dragged him out somewhere just to get him to stop thinking, and most of the times, the elder blonde would have remained naïve to the action and letting his ponderings continue to devour his mind until they decided to stop by themselves, and by then, he normally had forgotten about it entirely.

Hyukjae considered himself someone who wanted to live life to the fullest, but somehow encountered dead winds too often. He did not cringe, afraid, to cry and express his feelings, because that was merely the way he was. A slight idea of how vulnerable he actually was had already gotten imprinted in his mind, but he would think to himself that staying strong was the most important thing to do.

He looked over at Donghae, who was bent down, concentrating on tying his shoelaces after scooting over to a pillar with his bag almost dragged after him. There was a mixture of coldness and warmth in the area, and Hyukjae glanced around while waiting for his friend, observing what he could make out of the scenery outside of the platform and station. Mokpo was known for being a seaport, and Hyukjae had often been curious about how it would look there, since he foremost barely had seen that city. A few times when Donghae would have gone back there, he would always have brought pictures back for Hyukjae to see. He knew that an easy click on the Internet could give him the whole town of Mokpo for him, but letting Donghae take his own pictures intrigued the blonde even more. Every time Donghae would have gone back to his hometown, Hyukjae would have had schedules, and so, it had taken a good few years before the moment of going with the younger actually could become true.

“Are you done yet, slow-mo king?” Hyukjae laughed, throwing a glance at the still bent brunette who instantly cocked his head upwards. Noticing the elder observing him, he sent an assuring smirk back. What he did not know was that it also intrigued something else but a comprehension of a teasing retort within Hyukjae. Before their glances lingered long enough to be considered abnormal, Donghae looked back at his shoes, and with a final sigh, adjusted the laces. Hyukjae swung his head yet again as a harsher wind blew his bangs over his face, and tugged at the shoulder strap to bring it closer to his neck. Donghae stood up, bringing his own bag with him, and together they paced forward, the last among the little crowd that had remained at the platform after the train had puffed away.

“So, how do we get to your brother?” Hyukjae asked as they exited the station and met with a huge, seemingly parking lot or merely a walking spot, where people were heading towards different directions, and the blonde could not find the slightest remembrance of that place, never have seeing it among Donghae’s photos. Looking further to the right, a series of cars waited patiently for red light to turn green in a crossing, and people hurrying over the streets to reach the other side before the traffic lights turned green. Even more towards the side, if you followed a path along the poster-clad glass side of the actual building of the train station, it would lead you into a street with shelters in different colors highlighting the trail. Hyukjae figured that it might possibly have been a market area, which triggered his sense of looking for interesting things to buy.

Following the very same grey, dry road he had detected before towards the western direction, more cars fell visible to Hyukjae’s sight and both bigger and taller buildings seemed to gather among the roads splitting up here and there. He smiled as the clouds above slowly and securely became generous enough to let a beam of light shine through the cracks, and therefore let some of the buildings and cars reflect a pretty light, indicating a bright and jolly day.

Hyukjae was indeed interested in the city, and especially since it was his best friend’s hometown and the elder wanted to share anything and everything with Donghae.

He felt a gentle pull at his sleeve and he noticed a brown-haired male frowning at him with a tiny smile on his face,

“We are going this way. Where are you heading?” Donghae asked, and the other cocked his eyebrow, glancing around him. He had been too busy observing the surroundings that he had not noticed how they had begun walking off towards different directions. He laughed shamelessly, his mouth extending in length to the point that his gums were showing, and Donghae laughed as well, as they started walking towards the left. They were both happy, and they felt free, not jumped over by media and fans recognizing them by their eyebrows. While heading towards a bus stop the brunette later explained would take them close to where his brother, Donghwa, lived, Hyukjae skipped carefully beside his friend, glancing at every new thing he laid his eyes on, while the younger called their manager to announce that they had arrived in Mokpo and that they had yet to take the bus to his brother.

The bus stop was close enough to not even bring the slightest noise erupt from Hyukjae’s throat, although he was basically too engrossed in noting the environment of the sea port city of Mokpo, and he barely paid attention to everything he had to do, such as paying for a bus ticket and looking where he was walking inside of the vehicle. Donghae gently pulled him by his arm, as he did not even care to sit down beside the younger brunette, almost walking past the seat.

“You seem really interested in Mokpo, though”, Donghae sneered playfully, eyeing the blonde as he sat down beside the former. Hyukjae’s glance stuck itself at various items in the bus, as if he had not directly comprehended whatever sentence his friend had thrown at him, before long seconds later, he actually focused on the smirking man beside him.

“I am. But I am, really! I’m so excited, even it it’s just for a day!” Suddenly, all his focus was on the brunette and he started gesturing with his hands about how he wanted to be taken to that little market Donghae had sent a picture of, and how the national maritime museum had caught his attention with distinctiveness. The younger knew that Hyukjae’s thing for fish had triggered an interest of sea related things in general, but he just would not admit it.

Donghae leaned back in his seat entirely, listening to Hyukjae’s suggestive plans and funny ideas about how they could make the best out of every minute from arriving in Mokpo to stepping on to the train back to Seoul. The bus bumped occasionally, sometimes making him lose track and hesitate a second or two before beginning to ramble again, making it all sound like a never ending incoherent mess of ideas, although what Donghae could distinguish by summarizing his friend’s words were practically that Hyukjae wanted to go to that market and the maritime museum.

They passed grey roads of happy and depressed people, rounded corners with occasional waste or material being slumped into piles to keep order, and went through traffic jams that indicated the typical end of a workday for half of the population. The two friends’ were quiet for a while, Donghae closing his eyes and enjoying the fact that he was back in his hometown and had at least one whole day to rest and meet with his family, while Hyukjae observed every single detail appearing outside of the slightly smudged glass windows of the bus.

It was not until Donghae nudged the blonde’s shoulder and told him that they had arrived, Hyukjae took a break from his observing and flied off the seat, gripping a rail to swing himself down to the main platform of the bus and getting off, with Donghae fairly close behind his heels. The humid outside air ghosted over their faces as they met with the ground and a slight, more distasting smell swirled into their nostrils as the bus left the stop and drove away, leaving the two standing almost dumbly at the spot. Hyukjae threw a glance over at Donghae and smiled as he found him adorable looking around for the best way to reach his brother’s place.

Hyukjae could smell a hint of fumes together with newly coated wood, smelling almost like tar, the sense being fairly prickly but not to the extent of being of displease. In between, a scent of fresh laundry slipped through; and everything gave out a whole new scent for Hyukjae to associate Donghae’s neighborhood with.

The houses were situated in rows, on smaller plateaus above and behind each other, and old-fashioned themes rang inside the young blonde’s head.

They began walking towards the right, and Hyukjae excitedly ran up beside the younger,

“Where do you live?”

Donghae laughed cautiously as he stepped forward, snatching his shoulder straps, as he never took his gaze off the grey road in front of him.

“Can’t you remember? Did I never show you pictures of our residence?”

The blonde peered at the ground; trying to remember although the areas they were currently strolling through did not seem familiar enough for him to match with anything else he had seen in Donghae’s pictures. At least, they were not recognizable enough for Hyukjae’s memory. Pictures and reality could sometimes be two different things.

“I think you did…” He said, pulling his left hand through his blonde hair and then brought the strap of his bag to the other shoulder, shaking his right arm a bit at the relief of pressure loosening from that side of his body.

Much to his hap though, as the brunette straightened his index finger towards a small house with a faint red color painting the walls, Hyukjae reacted to the doorframe of the tiny building. It had a black and brown mixture to it, and right above the handle, there was a tiny name written with bleary letters, yet immense sharpness coming from the corner of every character.

Lee Donghae.

Hyukjae pointed the detail out, and remembered how he had noticed the little disobedient writing when the younger had shown him a picture of the house. An almost whole image came bursting through his walls of remembrance and he felt more or less familiar all of a sudden, although the feeling of actually being in the picture was far more different from imagining it.

They stepped up on to the very tiny porch, which creaked below their feet, and Donghae tapped harshly on the wood a few times before opening the door, peeking in through the crack and yelling: “Donghwa!”

For a brief second, nothing could be heard from inside the house, and although Hyukjae could not see anything nor hear much because of the block Donghae was making himself by standing in the crack, he still felt a bit giddy pondering if they were to be alone for a while. Nothing about that sudden weakness had to do that he in anyway was uncomfortable with his younger friend, but it leaned more towards the fact that he had never been there before. He had travelled the world with Donghae, heck; they had shared rooms’ innumerable times, yet there was a tickling feeling inside of his body.

Or merely, it had to do with the excitement of getting to Mokpo. However, he had an immensely hard time if he would ever try to deny that seeing Donghae awakened more feelings than it should have.

“Well aren’t you a disrespectful brat!” A voice with a jokey tone could be heard from inside, and Donghae chuckled slightly. He had a huge grin on his face as he pulled the door back, exposing an inner area of the house with mainly brown interior. Hyukjae swung the bag away from his shoulder and held the strap with both hands before walking into the hall with Donghae.

Donghwa met them in the hall, smiling brightly as he embraced his little brother without Hyukjae even registering what he was wearing. Bringing his chin to rest on Donghae’s shoulder, Donghwa looked over at the confused blonde between the strands of dark hair swaying before his eyes.

“Hi, Hyukjae”, he smiled, and mentioned man bowed his head lightly, smiling as well while waiting to greet the older.

“How are you?” Donghae asked as the two were about to part, and Donghwa patted his younger brother’s brown head before shuffling over to Hyukjae and stretching his arms for him to walk into.

“Hyung.” Hyukjae smiled warmly as he traced around the elder’s waist with one hand and the other made its way around his neck, both of the men pulling each other into a gentle hug.

“We are fine.” Donghwa said to his younger brother, “Mother is so excited about painting the house, it’s almost as if she has changed career.”

The dark-haired male chuckled lightly as he gave Hyukjae a gentle pat on his back before pulling back and turning his head once again towards his younger brother.

“But then again, we both know she has always had something for painting. She just hasn’t shown it.”

The brunette smiled as he reached for his bag.

“Is my room still a guestroom?” he asked, swinging his head and making some hair fly along the air to reach the left side of his head. Hyukjae had been fascinated about how his younger friend did not have long hair and yet managed to do those hair flips. The action triggered a little sense inside of the oldest that snapped his head up, his eyes widening in a bit of realization, and he waved towards the two performers,

“Ah, it is, so I freshened it up for you.”

They began walking forward, reaching a living room with a dark red couch and a turned off TV close to the wall, reflecting the light from the big windows on the other side of the room. Hyukjae eyed the interior, which was dominated by red, brown and white colors as he followed Donghae and his brother towards the right, passing the TV and a stand of damp clothes and eventually ending up in a newly cleaned room. The blonde watched Donghae throw his blue bag on to a closed basket, and then his glance wandered over the room and the furniture, which actually was not that much. There was a rectangular bed in the middle of the room with green covers, a mirror on the right wall and two closet doors beside it. Hyukjae laid his bag in front of his feet and looked at the other half of the room. It consisted of a window with dark red curtains, as well as a chest of drawers with a few ornaments here and there, taking away a bit of the emptiness that could be experienced while standing inside. Hyukjae looked at the right corner of the bureau and noticed a light brown item poke out from behind it.

“I was thinking of blowing up a mattress for Hyukjae to put in here, but then, uh, I realized that our mother’s room is empty so if you want, you could take that room Donghae”, the tallest male said, pushing some hair back and eyeing the two with narrow eyes and a little smile on his face. “We could just change the bedclothes.”

Hyukjae observed his younger band member’s thinking face, the former having a somewhat hopeful expression on his face. The room fell silent for two seconds, and then Donghae nodded slightly,

“Whatever suits you, brother” He said, shrugging but keeping a positive face, while Hyukjae’s world turned darker.

He did not want to admit the blankness of sleeping without his friend in the same room. It was as if something felt wrong, somehow. Not hearing his amusing arguments against why they should keep quiet in their room, talking until they almost passed out in exhaustion and throwing pillows at each other when they were bored at night concluded something boring, simply saying. But he swallowed it down, acknowledging that he still had two days to spend with his best friend in a city he had long wanted to visit.

Hyukjae was normally straightforward, especially in his actions. He pointed out things whether it was of use or not, and always hesitated to walk past someone who seemed down, as well as a pain inside of him never slipped unacknowledged by others. He always had a hard time keeping emotions inside of him, but there was one thing he could barely express himself in words with, and that was love.

Usually, the feeling of not being together with Donghae often was awkward enough, but after two months of constant jittery sensations and secret gazing, the feeling of loss had turned stronger at every occasion.

Somehow, he managed to direct his attention towards the brown, wooden thing poking out from the corner of the bureau, and even though he barely bothered to go there himself, not wanting to just touch things, his gaze remained fallen on to the item. He could soon see in the corner of his eyes how the two brothers were going to head out of the room, but Donghae stopped as soon as his glance fixed itself upon Hyukjae, and the brunette turned his head to look at whatever it might have been that his friend was observing.

He seemed to catch the item quickly, and Hyukjae could hear a faint laugh erupting from the other’s throat.

“It’s a guitar, Hyuk.”

The blonde turned his head abruptly to face the brunette, and narrowed his eyes in a playful way as he tilted his head.

“Are you reading my thoughts or…?”

Donghae grabbed the edge of his jeans pocket and blew some air quickly through his nose, laughing while walking off and telling his friend that he was always obvious when he was wondering about something. Hyukjae had to mentally slap his forehead, because not even he could deny how he often got caught with his gaze. They went out of the guestroom, Hyukjae following with both an eye for the house and for Donghae, and the latter chuckled yet again.

“We could play if you want to.”

The rest of the afternoon passed with the trio going out and walking the most of the way towards the place where Hyukjae had noticed all those colored tents. The clouds had covered the sun to their unlucky, but at least it was not too cold, and all of them could walk outside with their long sleeves. The spring had come, and that meant that it was not long until summer. The seasons consisted to the biggest extent of winter and summer, while autumn and spring were even shorter episodes of the year, not lasting long until bringing either the cold or the warmth like a rocket over the country.

Mokpo was a bit damper than Seoul, though, and that, Hyukjae had noticed the moment they had stepped out of the train station earlier the same day. The moisture of the air had not changed the least as they wandered at that same big parking lot once again, the blonde taking excited steps towards the path of the colored shelters, noticing many people strolling around there, occasionally stopping or talking to each other. Donghwa was asking questions about how the other Super Junior members were doing and how they were feeling with the current situation of album recordings and choreography learning, and Donghae casually answered the questions, sometimes with a little sigh and at other times a bright smile on his face. Hyukjae had involved himself in the conversation earlier but felt that it was time to explore the area he had just stepped on to.

It was the same little street, and all the green, red, white and other colored shelters finally fell detailed to Hyukjae’s eyes. He immediately strolled over to one of them, finding how it was indeed a food stand. The blonde’s stomach clenched slightly. He was beginning to feel hungry and the time was seven pm. They had planned to go to a restaurant to eat after they had gone around in the small market, and already at the beginning of his adventure among the colored shelters, Hyukjae sensed that he was honestly longing for that restaurant.

“Donghae! Aren’t you hungry?” Hyukjae pouted slightly as he tried to catch his brown-headed friend’s gaze among the mass of people that had all of a sudden decided to appear. Donghwa laughed as he pushed Donghae towards the blonde’s direction, squeezing through the crowd before they all had passed and trying to reach Hyukjae within seconds. A few people stopped abruptly in the shock of someone trying to get past them in the last blink before an impact, their narrow eyes narrowing even more, or some simply smiling at the luck of not stepping into each other, and the two brothers finally reached the impatient blonde.

“Should we go then?” Donghwa suggested and peeked at his watch, saying that the time was just before eight, “Even my stomach is starting to growl.”

Donghwa explained that the restaurant lay closer to the midtown and that they would either have to walk for at least 15 minutes or take the buss for five minutes to. After a brief minute of browsing while they exited the path of stands closing down, tired sellers finishing up for the evening, the elder came to the conclusion that the bus would go from the stop six minutes later. Feeling his insides grumble and his mind scream for food, Hyukjae naively insisted on taking the bus.

The dark had not yet approached Mokpo fully, but there was still a grey and dark blue mixture painting the sky and weakening the shadows on the ground. The trio stepped on to the bus just as the lampposts had gone on; they were flashing carefully before letting the white light illuminate the streets even more, and Hyukjae dropped down on to the first seat he could find, interested in how the area they were going to enter was going to look in reality. The rush of people outside had barely calmed down, as the night meant further exploits, and no less for they youths. Walking on the floodlit streets was group after group of people, either with their head hung low or eager smiles, but Hyukjae could barely see the former.

Hyukjae had the time to examine a few decorations hanging above the roads; they had small, white scrolls and other different shapes in a symmetrical pattern between right and left, lightening the area. It seemed to be a joy spreader, for Donghwa explained that it was a project that would clarify Mokpo as a “City of light”, and a little sign of delight instantly crept its way upon Hyukjae’s lips, making them curve up slightly.

He already loved the city; the scenery with its classic yet modern details, the blended small and large streets and the mini markets that seemed to be popular around spring and summer seasons all had him on the edge of his mental seat, prepared to run wild.  Donghae was merely glad to be back into the atmosphere of his hometown, being able to breathe out for a while and spend time with his family member and friend. Donghwa was happy to get some company, and did not hesitate to listen attentively to what the younger men wanted to do.

Hyukjae was the first one to exit the bus – mostly because Donghae wanted to keep track of where his elder band member was constantly, considering how much of a haze the blonde resided in at that moment. All three men met with the ground, and they looked around to meet with a friendly town area, not containing any of those uplighter decorations but being rather illuminated by the lights of cars, windows and signs.

The restaurant was not less lit up than the street; yet it really caught Hyukjae’s taste. It was rather simple, and had both couches as well as chairs to sit on, walls painted in bright, pale colors and a little bar further inside where you could order to your table or merely sit down at one of the stools. The canvas of the dark tables held a green color, and there were a little, glass-covered candle on every one of them.

Donghae sped up and chose a seat a bit closer to the corner, along the windows and rounded the black table to sit down on a chair close to the window. The two others willingly followed, and Donghwa took a seat on the other side while Hyukjae plopped down beside him. Menus lay piled beside a candle, and the youngest grabbed a hold of the first one, bringing his two hands to each side of the file and opening it with his thumbs. He smiled contentedly, almost having an expression of overjoy as his glance flickered over the supposed texts of meals and drinks.

“Is it like you remembered it to be?” Donghwa asked, a smile spreading across his face. The young brunette peeked out from behind the material and nodded,

“Just like it has always been.”

Hyukjae frowned at the shared words between the two brothers, his lack of knowledge hitting his curiosity to rise.

“What?” he asked, glance changing from one man to another while their attention was directed towards the blonde.

“I used to go here a lot when I was younger”, Donghae said, throwing a few looks around in the area before pulling a hand through his hair. “It was my favorite place.”

“Really?” The blonde smiled, “So what are you battling with? Nostalgia?”

A careful chuckle erupted from the oldest man’s throat and both Super Junior members took notice of it, bringing their gazes to Donghwa.

“Nostalgia is probably the least you could call it”, he smiled, and Donghae nodded, concurring, before once again skimming over the contents of his menu. The others did the same, and soon they were waiting patiently – or impatiently – for their food to arrive at their table. Hyukjae leaned back on the chair and intertwined his fingers on his belly, observing his brown-haired friend who was talking to his brother. Donghae remained unwary about that he was being watched, and in which way, and Hyukjae had an inner war, wondering if that was the way he wanted it to be.

Hyukjae had never hoped for his feelings to spiral, but he could not change it, especially when they were creeping upon him every time he laid his gaze on his best friend. Hyukjae was nearly 100% sure that nothing good could come out of what he wanted to do, but nevertheless, his overflowing trust in Donghae kept him on his path. Saying that he was anxious was an understatement; whatever held his mind up seemed to be entirely wrecked to the point that his nerves could occasionally constrict. It felt unfamiliar to him; his usual straightforward personality took a turn whenever he thought about his affection for his younger friend. Needless to say, confessing to his best friend that he was gay for him would certainly be a strained proof of courage.

“So how are things going back there? Mr. Simple is still really kicking the charts”, Donghwa said as the three began digging into the plates of food placed before them on the table. Donghae threw his head back and smiled contentedly while raising his hand and bringing the piece of food closer to his mouth.

“Yeah, all is working out fine. I still really enjoy performing that song.”

Hyukjae filled in with a slight laugh mixed with his words.

“I love performing Mr. Simple! And also, we won an award for the best kpop video too recently!”

“I noticed.” Donghwa looked down at his food and laughed, “I stalk the fan pages when I cannot reach you myself.”

He looked up at his little brother, who instantly strained his mouth to almost suppress a laugh. Although it spread and the three men shared a short laugh and the oldest brought a glass of coke to his mouth before continuing,

“But other than that? They aren’t putting too much pressure on you, right?”

Hyukjae tilted his head to the side as he glanced at Donghwa who gulped down the liquid a few times.

“I don’t think they are… Or at least, we’re used to it.” He smiled, thinking at all the new choreographies they had been learning during the past months for all the songs they were preparing. A new album was going to be released in July, and it had been confirmed that Kangin would be joining the comeback, which both soothed members’ and the fandom’s hearts.

“I’m really excited about the new album we’re recording for”, Donghae said, tapping the edge of the table with his fingers, “And that Kangin is joining.”

“He is coming back in a week or so”, Hyukjae filled in, loving the fact that their beloved band member would finally reunite with Super Junior after two years of mandatory military service.

“It will be so much fun!” he continued. The countdown had already started and it was hard to see that all the members would be able to release an album during many, many years onwards. Yet the ones leaving for service felt proud that they were helping their country and the departures were partly signs of that they were strong and courageous men, ready to stand of for their kind.

“I’ve been missing him!” Donghwa said, smiling as he seemed to be reminiscing his days visiting the members. The air around them smelled like food and they gladly and calmly continued their conversations about people, work and occasionally random things. Hyukjae gladly watched Donghae flicker his glance between the two people in front of him as they were all engulfed into their conversations, not minding the clock ticking its way towards later hours. When they finally realized that the restaurant was closing and Donghwa acknowledged that he indeed had to work in the mornings, they decided to head home and get sleep.

During the way home, Hyukjae had an unpleasant feeling creeping on his insides. He was getting impatient in every way and he found himself actually wanting to run into a wall as he decided that something needed to be done. His vigorous feelings needed to burst out of him and he needed to tell Donghae everything he considered the brunette to be.

Although his world was black and his eyes were shut tightly, there was a glim settled on to the lids, and in the middle of the light, was a moving shadow. Donghae breathed out harshly, gaining consciousness as the shade turned bigger and a hand suddenly attached itself to his shoulder. Followed by an energetic tone of a voice, the brunette comprehended that it was indeed his elder friend who had come into his room.

“Donghae-ya… Donghae-ya!” A certain blonde sang as he grabbed a hold of his friend’s shoulder and shook him carefully. He reluctantly opened his eyes to meet with a happy Hyukjae peering down at him.

Donghae smiled warm-heartedly from where he lay on his back, and pulled the cover off his shoulders to sit up and face the blonde. Hyukjae’s heart took an extra jump at the action and he suddenly struggled to remember what he had been waking up Donghae for. His mind span, and Donghae stretched out his arms to pull the almost fully clothed man into a hug. He did not say anything, mostly because he felt that it was comfortable to not speak when one had just woken up. Hyukjae willingly reacted to the other’s moving body and leaned into his embrace, mumbling a supposed-to-be excited “Good morning”, before landing on the edge of the bed.

“Did Donghwa leave already?” the brunette asked, his hand reaching up to ruffle his own hair a bit as he glanced around in the room, supposedly to find his bag of clothes. Hyukjae nodded and jumped off the bed as his younger friend came right after, dragging the light colored cover off him and moving his legs over the edge. He slightly rubbed his lids, and Hyukjae smiled cautiously, finding the other adorable.

There was so much he wanted to tell the brunette, and he had promised himself, that mission would be accomplished that same evening.

After sharing a few more words about how their day was going to look – they were going to the national maritime museum – Hyukjae left the younger alone to let him finish his business, while he completed his.

It was rare that Hyukjae would actually feel nervous being around Donghae alone; they were after all best friends. Perhaps since two months ago, nervousness could have occurred in certain circumstances as doing fan service on stage or walking in on each other while undressing or other things that could be considered intimate – Hyukjae knew after all that he was ridiculously attracted to the brunette, and that he barely could see if he took something to a bigger extent since they were supposed to be able to do anything to each other, regardless. Constant worries however, clutched on to his nerves, and he was afraid of getting too close, thinking that Donghae would catch a hint and perhaps avoid Hyukjae in suspicions.

The blonde had an inner war; one side telling him to release his feelings and be honest to his best friend, and the other side told Hyukjae that he would be putting their friendship on stake. By confessing, it might put Donghae out for confusion, and not any less if he was not even close to gay. Even though Hyukjae felt like his friend sometimes could act like those stereotypical homouals one sees on TV, he often mentally slapped himself for allowing such delusion into his mind.

Best friends should be able to tell each other anything, regardless of what the subject was. Hyukjae trusted the brunette enough, he convinced himself.

The day went on very smoothly though, and they had a lot of fun. Hyukjae was especially excited with the national maritime museum, and fortunately for them, the weather was cooperative enough to let them wander calmly to watch the outside monuments of old ships and tools leaving a mark of history to the area. Donghae considered the elder’s devotion for fish a mere excuse for a genuine interest in the sea and history of it. Necessarily telling the story of why they should have gone to the museum only in small bits only proved it truer. Donghae could almost see through his blonde friend, and found it funny how the other remained naïve to the characteristics.

They had decided to sit down and watch a movie with an evening snack as Donghwa had come home from work. Much to their mishap though, the elder was very tired and began dozing off already ten minutes into it. Donghae shook his head and blew air out of his nose as he woke his tired brother up to urge him to go to sleep.

“I’m sorry, guys”, the dark-haired male said with one hand rubbing his own cheek as he stood up. “I promise to follow you guys to the station tomorrow…”

Donghae followed his brother into his room while Hyukjae paused the movie, turning more nervous by each second as he knew that his confession was close to happening, and all that had been hidden within him was going to be exposed.

It could have been a silly crush, he had admitted to himself, but a lot of things seemed to speak against him; like the fact that he normally had no interest in guys, yet had developed feelings for his best friend. Also, there was something telling him that he wanted to be in love with Donghae; not that it just happened to be that way, but that despite what would happen, he would still be content that he had fallen in love with such a sweet soul.

Hyukjae was confused when it came to everything, and he would climb and pull on the others to get them explain things for him, as he usually was lost in his ponderings by the time things were being explained. He could not say that he was really aware of his often-occurring confusion, as he was too puzzled to acknowledge much of it. To him, Donghae was more accepting than the other members, and he usually let Hyukjae throw out his frustrations and ponderings in front of the other. Hyukjae felt blissed to have gotten close to the brunette, and he wanted to forever remain that way.

Donghae re-appeared in the living room, and that was when things started to move slowly. Hyukjae’s courage to do anything disappeared within the moment their gazes connected, and although Donghae’s reassuring smile soothed his nerves, he still found it hard to get anything out between his lips or even move, as the brunette jumped on to the couch, making their legs slightly touch before shifting and finding a spot he enjoyed. While Hyukjae sat straight on the couch with his back against it, Donghae had found a lying position and was pretty much with his head on the other edge of the couch, his cheek resting in the crease of his right arm and his glance attached to the stilled picture of the TV.

It took a few seconds before the blonde realized that Donghae waited for the movie to start, and he enthusiastically pressed the play-button with his thumb, setting the film into motion.

“Have you seen this one before?” Donghae asked, his gaze never moving from the TV as if he was intrigued, but his voice sounding awfully distracted somehow. Hyukjae brought his lips between his teeth before shaking his head. He did not count with the fact that the younger was not looking, and so, when Donghae could not catch an answer from the blonde, he turned his head with his eyes widening in the progress.

“Has something happened?” He asked, eyeing the blonde who just as instantly opened his mind in a confused state.

“What?” He breathed back, glance glued to the other’s lake-blue, captivating eyeballs. The movie was rolling, but Hyukjae could merely hear the words of the younger echo in his head before Donghae spoke yet again.

“You never answered me”, he stated, tilting his lifted head before pulling some hair off his forehead, and Hyukjae inwardly sighed in relief. Donghae was not supposed to see through him at that point. He wanted to reach the subject himself.

“I did”, he smiled and mimicked Donghae’s movements, “But you didn’t see me. No, I haven’t seen this movie.”

The brunette chuckled gently, but could not seem to tear his gaze away from the other’s; somehow, Hyukjae both felt delighted and utterly scared by the longer staying exchange of looks, and he soon wondered what would happen if they continued to watch each other or if he would turn his head.

But Donghae was ahead at that point; he laid his head back on to his arm and directed his attention towards the screen that already showed completely different scenery than the one previously being played. It was an animated film, something that was supposed to entice Hyukjae’s attention – he openly loved most cartoons and animated movies – but his brain could barely process what was going on at the TV screen. All he could think of was the brown-headed man lying just beside him and the feet brushing against his thigh. Tension was one thing, and human contact only made it worse.

They did not share any words for a good ten minutes, and during that time, Donghae remained still with his glance glued to the screen and Hyukjae flickered with his gaze, looking towards every possible direction and trying to calm himself. The air had turned unusually hotter – if it wasn’t merely a hallucination from the blonde’s side – and he felt the urge to fan himself, although that would definitely have attracted attention from the younger man from beside.

Hyukjae needed courage, and he wanted to be able to spit his feelings out and be ready for anything coming back towards him. The nervousness pressured him to the point that he almost wanted to cry; he could only feel how his walls were starting to shake, and how the clock ticked put even more pressure to those that were already threatening to fall.

But there are always moments and opportunities that have to be used to the fullest, and just like that, Hyukjae knew he had to speak up before Donghae would magically turn tired and want to go to bed, or the movie would end and there would be no time to talk it through. And back in Seoul, back in the real life and schedules, there was barely time to be alone for a longer while.

“Donghae-ya…”

He felt stupid. He felt helpless, foolish and drained with mere stupidity. But there was no turning back; he had taken his leap over the edge. What were left were the wings that were to catch him before he would hit the ground below.

Mentioned brunette hummed, not taking his eyes off the television but Hyukjae could sense that he was listening.

“I gotta tell you something…”

He fell deeper down. Donghae turned his head – finally adverted his gaze although that action made the blonde even more insecure – and observed his friend looking at his own knees. Two tiny figures were having a chat in the movie, but that chat was not even close to what was likely going to come.

“What is it, Hyuk?”

Although he could barely breathe normally, Hyukjae at least tried to get to the point.

“I’ve been…”

It pained him that his words did not seem to roll off his tongue as they used to do. It was as if his personality took a 180-degree turn whenever thoughts about love crossed his mind.

Hyukjae took another breath; he could feel the younger’s gaze pierce his head, however, it seemed to be more out of curiosity than simple impatience.

“I like you”, Hyukjae forced out of himself, feeling how his body heat grew to the point of his cheeks almost flushing red, but he had a quite vague idea of how to act further. “As in, like you, as more than a-a friend.”

No response could be heard from the brunette during the first long, agonizing four seconds. It was as if the time had stopped and Hyukjae suddenly wondered if it really had been worth it. Had he put their friendship on a line of silk because of his own, probably temporary feelings, he wondered. Shuffling could be heard from the side but the blonde did not dare to look.

“You do?”

Donghae’s voice was a mixture between shock and mere curiosity. Hyukjae took it for what it was, and nodded, desperate to find out how the rest of his life would play out after his cards had been played.

“Why didn’t… Or wait, no.”

Hyukjae persuasively threw a glance towards Donghae; finally meeting with those lake-blue orbs that he absolutely adored to see, and wondered.

“What?” the blonde asked, referring to the earlier, awkward sounding, loud pondering exiting Donghae’s mouth merely a few seconds earlier. It was one thing that Hyukjae had to wait for the silence to break and there was another thing to find the other unknowing of what to answer.

The TV became a sort of rescuer, as Donghae was the last object of sight the blonde was able to focus on. Something, however, told him that the other was seeking his glance. He was debating whether to throw a glance towards the right when the brunette began shifting from beside, making Hyukjae stiffen all the more.

“Nothing”, Donghae said, and the other could feel how his voice suddenly sounded a bit more directed towards him. It made him slowly turn his head, to just fairly show to the brunette that he existed and that he was paying attention to him – mostly because he honestly had to. The initiated conversation was not flowing as smoothly as he would have hoped for, although he had not expected anything in particular either.

Donghae had sat up entirely and was sitting with his front directed towards the elder. That was when Hyukjae was sure that he was going to be rejected. A “comforting” hand would make its way to his shoulder and Donghae would say that he did not think about the blonde that way, but that they should stay friends. Like what they all would say. Hyukjae had no intention of denying that he was prepared for it, but neither had he a plan of shutting out the fear that was overwhelming him. He was not prepared enough to be able to shoo away the nervousness, not even the slightest.

But their glances searched for each other, and they were found. Donghae locked his gaze with the blonde and the latter could barely breathe normally.

“Are you serious?” the younger asked, his eyes not seeming offended at all and it gave Hyukjae hope that at least they would stay friends. Perhaps just as close as earlier; because that was how much the blonde trusted his friend.

Despite Donghae’s casual gaze, the elder could not help but to feel intruded by the words. They came as waves falling over his head just as he had caught his breath.

Incapable of talking, Hyukjae nodded. The younger flickered below height of heads with his look, it being thrown at several random objects in the room. Hyukjae examined him; his brown, short hair falling casually against his sides and forehead, his broad shoulders that were covered by the white T-shirt he wore, and his bent legs, hiding inside the fabric of a pair of light blue jeans. Donghae’s eyes seemed to glimmer; yet Hyukjae was not able to read the face of those lake-blue eyes.

“Then this is kinda funny…” the brunette half-mumbled, his glance taking another change of direction and exposing themselves enough for Hyukjae to examine those dreamingly beautiful irises.

“Because I happen to lo- to have feelings for you as well.”

Hyukjae’s heart took innumerable extra jumps as those words entered his ears slowly and his body as well as his mind heated up immediately. It felt as if a hot fog was embracing him, creeping its way inside of his clothes and making his body weary of sweat alone.

“Really?” Hyukjae asked, wanting to make sure that he was not hallucinating in some way. He gulped down silently, staring at his own knees for a second before looking back up and noticing Donghae with a tiny, genuine smile on his face. It felt too real to be true, Hyukjae thought, and he nervously brought his lower lip between his teeth, letting his glance wander over things in the room before he could hear Donghae’s voice ring in his ears.

The words, “I’m serious” sounded like a sweet melody to the blonde’s ears, and he momentarily became soothed. It was quite unbelievable to have that one special person liking him back, in spite of all the circumstances, as mostly in the probability of the younger having a thing for men as well. Hyukjae drowned in daydreams about how his dreams and prayers had been answered and how blissful he felt, making his cheeks flush even redder than they were planning to from the start.

Not until he realized that he was wondering what in the actual world they were supposed to do after all that, he stayed calm.

Donghae was looking at him, his eyes full of sincerity and his lips still curved into that small smile, and the blonde pressed his lips together, not knowing at all what to do. He once again felt helpless, and on top of that, quite awkward.

His stiffness went to the higher degree when the brunette suddenly shifted closer, his upper body beginning to lean forward and Hyukjae did not dare to move as the younger propped himself on to his hands on each side of the blonde. Donghae looked up at the elder, eyes serious yet somehow hopeful, and Hyukjae felt himself getting hotter by each second. The closeness between the two made him want to scream out loud, but of course, he remained silent.

“Do you want us to be together?” Donghae asked, his glance moving around Hyukjae’s face, examining his features, his mouth, nose and eyes again. The blonde smiled and gave out a nervous, breathy huff as he looked at the arm on the left side of his body before forcing himself to glance into the orbs of the younger.

Hyukjae bit his lips before confessing yet again.

“Can we be together?”

His new blush urged the younger to smile bigger than earlier. Somehow, the movie was about to be forgotten about. Hyukjae could barely focus on anything else than his crush admitting his feelings back, that close to the blonde and he could barely imagine what possibilities there were in the future; whether it would have been in the next few seconds or a week later.

Donghae’s face shone up anew, and he began shifting even more, succeeding in sitting on his knees. Hyukjae observed him; an incited expression playing out. The brunette leaned closer and brought his hand to Hyukjae’s back, letting his hand slide along it until it squeezed itself between Hyukjae and the couch. He began trying to suppress his loud breathing as Donghae’s face came closer and closer to his own, and as he could both feel and see how the other’s lips began brushing against his own, breathing seemed nothing coherent anymore.

Hyukjae’s mind began swirling as the other pair of sweet lips attached themselves to his own, and his hand automatically searched for Donghae’s collar as the blonde had already closed his eyes, them being too engulfed in the happening already. The younger had managed to slightly tower over him, and he was unsure of what to do. As he decided that grasping the other’s T-shirt was a bad idea, his hand travelled upwards to meet with Donghae’s shoulder and neck. There, Hyukjae rested his hand while the attachment of lips grew into seeming more like one of those scenes he had seen in movies, yet only experienced once before. The brunette carefully on the other’s upper lip, and Hyukjae did the same to the other’s lower one, before they after something that seemed like four seconds afterwards released the grips.

For not being used to kissing, Hyukjae felt like he could accustom himself rather quickly. After all, it felt right. Donghae’s being inches close to his own and hands resting on each other’s bodies was everything and a little more to Hyukjae. They opened their eyes, foreheads pressing together, and their mouths curved up. The blonde felt like melting under the gentle touch of the other, and the hand on his back made him feel protected; not necessarily calm considering all the emotions flowing through his mind, but at least soothed. He found some silky hair in the back of Donghae’s neck and started carefully pulling his fingers through the little strands. The younger shivered – Hyukjae could feel it on his hand – and leaned in to let the two’s lips meet once again.

The blonde’s extreme happiness made his body tired, and so, he automatically relaxed bit by bit, leaning even more comfortably against the back of the sofa, while Donghae willingly shifted to keep their position alive. They pecked gently, nibbled on each other’s lips while moving around their hands on their places, both being careful enough to not rush things to wherever they were going to head.

The tingling sensation in Hyukjae’s stomach remained, reminding him of how real the situation was, how much enamored and blissed he was.

Donghae’s body moved closer to the blonde’s and pressed them together, somehow urging Hyukjae to slide towards the side, his upper body lowering towards the far edge of the couch, as the younger followed, never breaking the kiss as they lowered themselves and ended up laying down. Donghae pulled back his head, and the elder opened his eyes, glancing into the lake-blue orbs of the one he badly cared about. Their legs were entangled further away, and the brunette had propped himself on the outer part of his left arm. He had never left Hyukjae’s back with the other one, as well as he had never pulled his hand away from the other’s neck. They locked gazes for a few seconds, before Donghae suddenly gave out a breathy laugh.

“What?” Hyukjae smiled as the younger rested his giggling face in the crook of the other’s neck.

“I can’t believe I’m finally having you”, the brunette answered, exhaling his hot breath on to Hyukjae’s neck and making him giggle as well, before Donghae planted an innocent peck at the spot. Hyukjae had no idea what the other would have meant by that, since he usually never was straightforward and open about things; if things would have been normal, Hyukjae would have been the one uttering those lines. He guessed that the sudden situation had brought something different out of both of them.

Donghae had soon dropped down beside the blonde and they were lying in front of each other, looking into each other’s eyes and saying little, when a familiar tune rang from further away.

The movie had come to an end, and although that was their last concern, it still alarmed them somehow. Or to put it even more accurately, it took them to realization. All the while they could have watched a movie, said nothing; they had confessed love and affection, shared hugs and kisses and grasped how blessed and happy they really were.

Despite Hyukjae’s undying affection for cartoons, he came to an immediate conclusion that his way of handling the hour had been a million times better. He sat up and Donghae watched him; another one of his charming smiles visible on his face, and Hyukjae melted yet again. He scratched his neck and searched for something to tell him what the time was; he glanced around in the room, squinting and turning his head towards each direction to find a clock on any of the walls. He did not want their moment to end, but neither did he want to be too tired when they would arrive back in Seoul the next day. Their lives would go back to normal after a well-deserved rest.

“It’s about eleven thirty”, Donghae interrupted his searching, and Hyukjae flashed him a thankful smile, feeling giddy by merely looking into those eyes. He still felt nervous, somehow, yet most of the awkward feelings had disappeared, as the joy of having each other meant too much to let gawkiness interrupt their moment. The ending credits were still moving upwards along with a catchy tune, when Donghae shifted, leaned over the edge of the couch and pressed the button of a black remote laying on the floor. Hyukjae laughed silently as Donghae drew back, placing himself on his back and gently bringing a hand to the crease of Hyukjae’s arm. The latter almost shivered at the contact, and he absolutely loved the attention; he felt wanted and cared about. That Donghae would be called his after all that had happened during the last hour, added immensely to the feeling of being wished for. It felt special.

Donghae let his hand slide along the blonde’s arm – Hyukjae watched – until it reached the hand. He pulled the hand carefully, bringing it past his head and thus, making Hyukjae lean down. The action sent more tickles to his stomach, and he smiled as Donghae intertwined their fingers before he pulled their hands even further away. Hyukjae surrendered entirely, pressing his mouth against the other and closing his eyes dreamingly. It felt unreal somehow, perhaps too good to be true.

The peck lasted for two seconds, and Hyukjae experienced it being perfect like that.

“We probably need to sleep”, Donghae said, at first glancing away and slightly frowning, before giving the other an encouraging smile. The blonde sat up, and Donghae followed. It was entirely quiet in the area; not even a shuffle or a snore could be heard from where Donghwa resided and it triggered new tingling sensations within Hyukjae, making him even more tired as they came and went occasionally.

He had been dreaming about a moment like that for months, knowing how unlikely it probably would have been and waiting to make the feeling shake itself off. Some times, feelings for another could fade, and that was what he had been trying to wait for. Admitting feelings to his best friend could have caused stonewashing friendship, or if even worse circumstances, a scandal. He had been afraid and insecure. But experiencing how his feelings had only grown stronger with time, he had realized that nothing would satisfy him unless he actually confessed.

His heart found no stable rhythm, for the inner hardships he had gone through accomplishing the deed, had paid off, and Donghae was smiling at him.

The two raised their bodies and stood up on the floor, their socks hindering their feet from getting cold, and Donghae pulled a hand through his hair as the blonde stretched his body, before they went together to a bathroom to brush their teeth. Hyukjae heated up as he felt the brunette’s hand slide over his back when he stood in front of the mirror, putting the toothpaste on his brush.

They both felt a tad awkward just standing there. But nothing could have been better.

Hyukjae leaned against the wall, holding his own hands as he watched Donghae crouch and turn off the DVD player. There were mere seconds left before they would say goodnight and go to sleep, but Hyukjae refused to be alone now that Donghae finally was his.

The younger stepped towards Hyukjae and as they were close enough to hear each other’s heartbeats, Donghae cupped the other’s cheeks, letting their gazes meet closely, and tenderly. Hyukjae let his hands sneak around the other’s back and grasp on to his shirt, bringing their bodies together all the more, before he surrendered to Donghae’s loving look and they pressed their lips together. It felt exactly like earlier, and to Hyukjae, it could not have been more perfect. Bringing the memories further backwards, merely thinking about how the younger had crawled towards him and leaned in, made the blonde jittery. He could not help but to relive it, to re-feel it and reminisce it. Not even as they parted – their lips falling off each other carefully – he had let go of the wonderful thought thrilling his mind.

“Goodnight”, Donghae said, a tad hesitation visible in his expression as he backed away, pulling his hand through his hair before turning to his right, going to head towards the stairway. Hyukjae inwardly shook his head as he caught the younger’s arm, making him stop in his movement, and the blonde looked pleadingly at him.

“Don’t leave me now”, he droned, pursing his lips slightly. He did not quite enjoy sleeping alone; in fact, it was one of the things he dreaded.

Donghae waited for a few seconds, seeming like minutes for Hyukjae, letting him eye the younger form head to toe and silently admiring his everything; all that Hyukjae could call his. Donghae began smiling and stepped back to the pouting blonde, letting his hand slip around Hyukjae’s waist and pulling him close to his side before walking off with him, towards the guest room.

Despite that he had slept alone the night before, the longing for Donghae sleeping in the same area had been strengthened, especially that night. The blonde felt his cheeks redden at the thought of Donghae accepting his small, demanding request, and he wandered with a silly smile glued to his face, back to the room where he – they – were going to spend the night.

Hyukjae felt a bit more uncomfortable with undressing than Donghae – now that they had another kind of relationship in the picture – and he almost blushed as he realized that the brunette indeed was watching him step out of his pants beside the bed.
“You’re too fast”, Hyukjae whined and plopped down on to the bed, pulling off his socks and throwing them close to the pants, leaving him in only underwear and a T-shirt he inwardly insisted on keeping. Donghae chuckled from beside, his chest rising and falling in the process, as he turned his head to look in front of him. His hands were intertwined behind his head and he was waiting patiently for a rather shy Hyukjae to lie down beside him. They had indeed slept in the same bed before – hugging, laughing, looking into each other’s eyes – however it suddenly felt a lot different, and Hyukjae found himself almost wondering what to do as he eyed the body lying down quietly.

“Lay down then”, Donghae urged, drawing away one hand from behind his head to pull on the blonde’s shirt. He obeyed, awkwardly putting his head on another pillow and dropping the blanket in the process of pulling it over him. The brunette laughed once again while Hyukjae could only press his lips together.

Not a word was shed, and they both lay on each side, either looking at random objects or each other, but not doing anything else. Donghae rested on his side, his arm bending before his face and he was using one eye to peer at his newly claimed boyfriend. The latter flickered with his glance, feeling comfortable but not enough to be able to sleep faster. Everything had happened so quickly, he thought, and he still needed time to comprehend it all. He fiddled with his own fingers, observing them, and breathing as silently as he could. He did not realize that the grinning brunette beside him wanted to pull him in.

“Hyukkie”, he said, shifting closer and making the elder look at him, his heartbeats increasing all the more when he realized what Donghae was doing.

“Come here”, Donghae begged, his soft and drowsy voice making Hyukjae shiver. He felt himself being embraced as the brunette drew closer, his breath ghosting over Hyukjae’s neck as Donghae made him turn towards the other direction. He remained tense during the few seconds the movements lasted, but gradually relaxed feeling Donghae’s body against his own, as the younger had brought his arm around Hyukjae and was hugging him from behind. A smile crept upon his lips, and pressure behind his eyeballs appeared, giving him a sudden urge to cry.

He was happy.

But time stayed being itself, and so the clock ticked on, fast-forwarding time and leaving the two in-love men standing in front of their dorm door and long oblivious about the forgotten planned moment of guitar-playing.

Their hearts were lustrous, but they pushed it away.

Donghwa had awakened just in time to see Donghae sneak out of the wrong room, and he had with a smile on his face asked if they had finally gotten to be together.

Hyukjae had breathed out, hearing that the eldest of them were proud and happy that they had found each other.

The blonde peeked at the one he liked, who shot back an assuring smile, before they both entered the hall, their bags dragging behind their feet.

He was quite reluctant towards telling the members immediately; he wanted to – not because it was necessary – test the waters; let everything sink into his mind before he could gain the courage to speak up about their relationship. Because indeed they had begun to sink into a hole of love, and Hyukjae was minute-by-minute preparing to fall even deeper. He was 100 percent sure.

Shindong, a happy member with a light brown pot hairstyle peeked out from a room as the two newly arrived men proceeded in pulling their bags with them along the beige aisle. Hyukjae smiled feverishly as he noticed his older friend and waved excitedly, his gums showing as he grinned to show the happiness of seeing Shindong after three days. He had been out on late schedule the day before Hyukjae and Donghae went to Mokpo, and therefore, they had not been able to meet.

“How was the trip?” Shindong asked, one of his eyebrows furrowing as the other got raised, and he flashed a curious smile. Hyukjae went closer to the elder and threw his head to the side.

“It was fine, hyung. I had a blast over there! I’m so happy I finally got to go there.” He said, a grin visible on his face and he shot a look back at Donghae, who was currently barging through their bedroom door a few steps away, seemingly impatient to get everything settled and back to normal before they had to get back to schedules and everything else they needed to do as celebrities.

Shindong shook his head jokingly as he observed the young brunette vanish behind the corner of the doorpost.

“Is that how you greet your elders?” He asked, raising his voice, and both men awaited the youngest to reply. A rustle was heard from inside Hyukjae and Donghae’s room, and soon the latter ran out of the room with a hoodie lazily thrown over his shoulders only to approach Shindong with his lip between his teeth, blurting an apology and smiling like a silly head. The oldest put his hands to the sides as he laughed at Donghae’s miserable state of mind before another curious head peeked out from a corner. A black-haired, smiling Sungmin peered at the two newly arrived band members and waved at them.

“Did you have fun?” His soft voice asked happily.

Hyukjae clapped his hands together in contentedness, clearly showing to his close-aged friend how happy he was. The bright hallway lights served them no lies to that fact either.

“It was awesome”, he said, making Sungmin nod and wave his thumb in the air.

Donghae frowned at the black-haired male.

“Is Kyuhyun there?”

Sungmin pouted slightly, shaking his head in a wondering manner, but shrugging it off before walking out from the room, a book in his grip and his evening slippers shuffling on the floor. He proceeded in walking towards the direction of the kitchen further away as he spoke.

“I think he’s out on schedules.”

Shindong nodded, agreeing, before his being disappeared around the corner of the room he was currently in. It had been Heechul’s alone before he had enlisted to the army, and since Shindong had been left alone after Kangin had enlisted even earlier, the former camped around on the two floors.

“I wonder if Leeteuk hyung is here”, Hyukjae said, pursing his lips as he stomped into the dark room where the brunette was sitting on the bed, pulling out cloths after items and settling them in different piles when the elder plopped down on the floor.

“We can go check if you want to?” Donghae asked, and as the blonde looked up at the other, he was given a sincere, toothless smile. The brunette stopped his movements to merely focus on Hyukjae on the floor, and they shared a silence caused by the exchange of glances that was a few seconds long. To Hyukjae however, everything he had done together with Donghae since the previous night had seemed prolonged. Each single glance felt like eternities all over again, and the slightest touch was like a heavenly caress to his skin.

Hyukjae nodded however, before his eyes became even moister than they already were, and tilted his head to the side.

“When do your schedules start?” He asked, his lower lip and looking at Donghae wonderingly, wanting to find a moment where they could be together. After all, the need of having the brunette by his side had only strengthened since the night before.

Donghae stared back, his mouth closed and eyebrows raised, as he eyed the blonde who seemed oblivious to the action.

“Don’t you remember that we’re going to practice until 1?”

Hyukjae gazed at the brunette. At that point, both their stares were obvious.

“Or that we’re having that photo shoot afterwards with Sungmin and Leeteuk hyung?”

A short snort of the blonde echoed through the unlit room, and soon they were both laughing at the lack of remembrance lying within Hyukjae’s head.

Everything was back to normal, but not in their hearts. There was something new creeping around in their minds, a feeling that was not supposed to be mistaken as a thing bringing them down. It was not necessarily bad only because it could give them stomachaches; the small clench on his insides Hyukjae would feel every time the younger brunette was close to him, time after time convinced him that he was strongly in love with Donghae.

No one could have known what would happen within a week. Hyukjae and Donghae enjoyed each other’s company through the days; to when they met alone finally jump into each other’s embraces. Hyukjae fell in love anew; the first few days were like a blur, containing almost constant jittery feelings, and while forgetting things was not out of his agenda either. Just by meeting with Donghae’s glance, it felt as if everything disappeared out of his mind. His body would heat up and a smile would immediately sneak on to his face, as well as Donghae would not be able to hide his teeth the moment Hyukjae gave in to his bubbling feelings. When they shared intern jokes and laughed together as the members scratched their heads, it felt just a tad more special. It was not that Hyukjae treasured the time they were merely best friends – it was the opposite – but the feeling of being newly enamored almost beat every peak of happiness there could befall. To him, a few days reached the experience of them being long like the weeks, and Donghae did not have any plans of showing the contrary.

Shared bliss grew in their hearts, but there was also a tint of guilt lying inside. Hyukjae knew that he wanted to tell the other members about the newly blooming relationship; they could not live on in secret forever. In a comedic aspect, Donghae and Hyukjae’s friendship had always been rather extreme – often to the member’s taste – and jokes would some times have been spread about the two getting a room because of their budding affection towards each other. However, it somehow gave Hyukjae hope that hopefully things would be easier to cope with. An already great friendship’s reputation could not possibly be ruined by the change of their hearts that caused the affection to grow.

Hyukjae was looking towards the dark green wall of his dorm room, his mind flying in an entire different world when two hands made their way around his waist from behind.  A black cloud exploded in his head and he flinched, almost hitting the person behind in the progress, and soon shivered as he recognized the warmth of the one he cared about embrace his tense body. He smiled and leaned his head back, meeting with a shoulder and turned his head to meet with the glance of Donghae, looking lovingly into the other’s eyes. A rocket of happiness fired within his body as the brunette mumbled a vague “Hi”, and he closed his eyes firmly as Donghae’s breath ghosted on his face, sending all possible waves through him.

“Did you finish your food already?” Hyukjae asked; his gaze flickering nowhere but between the younger’s facial feature. All over again, he could not help but to think this is too good to be true. Hesitation to touch what was his never crossed his mind, and so before Donghae could answer, his head was being pulled down and their lips were carefully attached. Nothing in the world could replace the brunette’s soft skin against his own, nothing.

The elder trapped Donghae’s lower lip entirely between his own, staying that way, remaining, wanting it to be like that forever. Hyukjae’s hand still held down the brown head with barely any force, and Donghae’s grip around the other’s waist tightened as his on the blonde’s upper lip strengthened. It was as if the world was theirs for a moment, before the brunette let go slowly and Hyukjae opened his eyes.

“You should care more about the fact that you haven’t even eaten yet”, Donghae protested, pecking the blonde’s temple and making him laugh.

“I told you I wasn’t even close to hungry”, Hyukjae pouted, his eyes widening slightly. If it was a trick to make Donghae give in, it was a battle already won.

“Is something bothering you?”

The brunette tilted his head even more to notice a possible glimpse of worry in the other’s eyes. Hyukjae pressed his lips together, his thoughts beginning to swirl of insecurity. It did not pass Donghae’s eyes with ease, and he soon loosened his grip and stepped around the blonde to stand face to face with him. Kangin would be coming back the next day; every single Super Junior member had kept a good mood the whole day, and therefore Donghae felt uneasy seeing Hyukjae that way after a whole day of smiles and jolly conversations.

The blonde smiled faintly as he encircled the other’s neck with his hands and stared down at their chests for a second. Donghae gave the other a gentle push with his own body and made the elder look up.

“I was thinking that…” He gave out a vague laugh, as if finding himself silly. The brunette was surprised to see Hyukjae in that state of mind, it was not like him to be insecure and hesitate about speaking up. Hyukjae would be able to say almost everything and ask for anything because of his straightforward personality.

“You can tell me anything and everything, just like you could before”, Donghae said, stretching out his lips into another smile. The blonde nodded carefully.

“Do you want to tell them…?” He asked, rather silently, but could barely keep looking into the younger’s eyes.

“Now? You mean, about us?”

His eyes were about to widen when he noticed a hint shame lingering in Hyukjae’s gaze, which changed his mind. There was definitely nothing wrong with wanting to be honest to their friends, and their newly awakened, strong feelings for each other could be a stout hand to help them marsh through anything. However, Donghae admitted to himself that a minor shock did not always have to be a bad thing.

Hyukjae nodded, and the brunette brought the other further into his embrace, leaning his head on to the blonde’s shoulder and tightening the embrace as he momentarily closed his eyes.

“Are you sure you want to do it?”

Hyukjae waited a few seconds, inhaling the scent of his new boyfriend’s shirt and neck close to his nose, and squeezed his eyes shut. He wanted it.

As soon as Donghae felt the nod against his shoulder, he pulled back slightly and brought his hand up to cup a hot Hyukjae’s cheek, and raised his chin.

“Now?”

The blonde pressed his lips together, and gave a few more seconds to calm his mind down. He had felt a slight guilt for not telling the others already after a day, although he knew that the relationship might have needed a chance to sink into their own minds before they took everything to another level. But being with Donghae was already something he was honestly passionate about, and the last thing he would have wanted was to keep it a secret to the rest of his closer friends.

His voice was weak and careful as he spoke.

“I figured that everyone would be here tonight… So I was thinking about tonight, yeah.”

Hyukjae’s nerves were already anxiously trembling and unpleasant grasps in his stomach had told him clearly since the day begun that nervousness was something unavoidable. That the time was ticking itself closer to nine in the evening made nothing different, if it was not for the worse.

He had realized by himself that his personality took an entire turn when it came to love, but he found no strength in changing it.

Donghae pecked the elder’s plump lips and clarified that they were going to speak to the other members the very same night.