[[ Edited Version ]]

“MIRA !!” someone shouts my name from down stair the exact time I just lay my back on my old bed, It’s been a while, I need to clean my mind, an hour is enough right ? but I guess they won’t let me do that, I slowly get up and looks around my room before I get down and kneel on the floor while trying to take out a box that I hide under the bed.

“what are you doing ?” I heard my sister’s voice when she steps in my room without even knocking, She’s 6 year older than me, and she’s happily married with her husband. I dare to say that my family isn’t the happiest family out there, my family never been a happy family to begin with. My father and my mother always fight with each other. And they’re never there when I need them, because they need to work, to earn money for me and my sister. Yep, you guessed right.  The two of them goes to work. I still remember when I was kindergarten I only watched my classmate eat their home made lunch, while I keep my palm clenched on the money, looking filled with jealousy at all my classmates.

“Can you leave me alone for just today? I really need it” I request at her and she only nodded her head at me signaling she understand, before she closed my door and leave me alone inside the room. I didn’t tend to sound so cold to her. I don’t understand myself too, I don’t hate her, but I’m not close to her too. Maybe because of the between us? When I was elementary, she started her teenage life as a junior high school student, so the age distance naturally separate us, well, I always blame them for my lonely life but if it’s not because of them I won’t be here as who I am right now. Yesterday I just turned 24 years old and tomorrow, someone will come to propose to me, and I’ll start my life as a normal person. You must be wondering what I mean with normal people right ? Don’t worry, I born with complete parts, no abnormal thin around my body. But I will never be like how normal teenager be. Never went out to a club, never be rebel, and never done anything else like most of the teenager usually do. Because I am a kpop addict and I’m not gonna lie to all of you. I’ve been in a lot of fandom before. Start with elf, Super junior fans, to Cassiopeia as TVXQ fans, since 2006. But after tvxq have hiatus because of that huge conflict that end up with separating (Whoever Cassiopeia that read it understand right ? )I never stand for in another fandom for long time, I was beauty – beast fandom until inspirit. And here is an My last fandom and I proud to be Exo fans . I take out a box that I hid and open it.

I trace my finger around Exo 1st album Wolf & Beauty, I have the urge to play it because all it has one song that reminds me of my life. They’re My Peterpan and I am their Wendy that choose to face the future than being with him eternally in neverland .

I can only smile looking at of my fav kpop boyband inside. Only Exo album . yes… only exo album. I never bought the other boyband album before exo and after exo. But don’t ever doubt my passion to kpop. I always keep in touch with a lot of website like soompi, allkpop, exo fandom and the other, cheering like a crazy girl.

Now, If I think back… it sound so stupid but even if I have Tao Oppa power, I won’t turn back the time nor I freeze the time. Because that’s part of life lesson, if the things didn’t happen, I won’t be ever strong like this.

It’s so crazy, I even ship their otp, pfft ., I don’t regret it, they look cute together. In the past, I always believe if they date each other, I don’t want to share them with the other female. Being gay is okay right? I always dream on about having romance in fanfic, where they can be together and all society accept them. But now I learn something, I experience it, I fall in love with someone that will never be mine, you know why? Because he’s gay. I tried to make him change and love me, but life isn’t as easy as those in the fanfiction.

I suddenly felt a strong arms wrap around my body and bring me closer to his. Yes his. I perfectly know who embraced me. He’s my love, my fiancé, my future husband. He know all about my life, I met him when im still in junior high school. He became my friend in senior high school even we’re no longer in the same school. And I met him once again before I graduated. That’s the time when he decide to propose to me, because he think, its fate .

“If it’s so hard, I won’t force you to let them go, we still can be together even with your obsessions, I just want you to know, I accept you with all your perfectness and all your weakness” he breath into my ears and kiss my head softly.

“ I know you’ll accept it, but I want to focus with you and only you, because you’re my future”

“Thank you for trusting your future to me, let’s go! I want to bring you somewhere” he dragged me up and hand me my jacket, for me to wear it.

“be more  specific, with –somewhere- please” I pouted a little and he only pecks my forehead to make me shut up, I can see he don’t want me to question it any further

We enjoy the silent that surrounds us in the car, I don’t mind actually, because I know it’s the last night for both of us as single, we both need some time to think and this silent is more than enough for us, I glanced a little to examines him, I don’t how to thank god for giving him to me, before he propose to me, my ideal guy is just EXO oppas but now, he’s the only guy that can make my heart beat so fast just with simple action, He’s handsome ? Of course, he’s handsome, because I love him. I love him too much to fall in love with his handsome heart.

He’s not y as baekhyun oppa.

He’s not handsome as kris oppa

He cant dance like Kai oppa

He’s not as adorable as Lay Oppa

His voice not high like chen oppa

His voice not deep enough to beat chanyeol oppa

He’s not as wise as suho oppa

He isn’t cool like ice prince sehun oppa

He’s not as cute as Tao oppa

His eyes isn’t as big as D.O oppa eyes

His cheek isn’t pinch able as Baozi Xiumin oppa

And He’s  not as gentle as Luhan oppa

But he understands me the most, he can stand beside me when I need him the most, he always waits for me to open up. He never complain to me because of my weakness

I love him as the way he is now

“we’re here” he announced and help me to unbuckle my seat belt before helping me to get out from the car, I know this place. This is Incheon airport. What the hell are we doing in here, Before I can even ask my question he place his finger in my lips to prevent me from asking.

“we’re here” he announced and help me to unbuckle my seat belt before helping me to get out from the car, I know this place. This is Incheon airport. What the hell are we doing in here, Before I can even ask my question he place his finger in my lips to prevent me from asking.

“T-thank you.. You don’t know how big this is for me” I hug him tight and cry in his embrace. I don’t care if I look so silly now. I don’t care if everyone looks at us. Because I love him. And I want him to know. I want everyone to know. This is My love. And im lucky to have him

He points at the door where exo waiting their VIP fans first. “I’ll wait in here ok?”

“hmnn” I only nodded at him, since I can’t express it with words.

“Annyeonghaseyo. My name is Hyun kyun, Im exo manager and I’ll guide you here since you have a VIP Pass, so can I help you into anything?”

“Can they sing 1 song for me ? I only need that. They don’t need to do anything else such as signing or acting being friendly to me. Just 1 song”

“Arraso. Any specific song?”

“Peter pan, from the 1st album”

“Do you want to wait in this room or sit with the other audience in front of the stage ?”

“I’ll wait here” It’s enough for me, Oppa… I can see you.. I can see you this close. Just a few steps and I can reach you. You who always be my dream, but I choose to stay here. Because I need to wake up soon. there’s someone special for me waiting outside.

It give me warm feeling as they prepare to sing my request. It makes me chuckle a little to look at them confused. Maybe they never met a fan like me? someone that never show up in front of them . You don’t need to know oppa… Even you don’t know that I’m here, In my heart I always support you since you debut until now. Im sorry to choose of leaving you

One day. I’m gonna proudly tell my daughter about my hero that come from EXO planet

老去的日记在墙角被遗忘 (An old diary was forgotten in a corner )

翻开被灰尘覆盖掉的过往 (Flip open the past that has been overwritten by dust)

在那一页 你还那么耀眼 依然留在里面 ( On that page, you still shine as before, still inside there)

过去的画面渐渐都醒过来 (Each of those scenes from the past reawakens bit by bit )

心跳也好像那天一样澎湃 (My heartbeat is also surging like it did on that day )

可惜时间却不能随心所欲的倒退 (Unfortunately, time can’t go turn back according to what the heart wants )

你的彼得 离开你有一点孤单 (Your Peter Pan, after leaving you he was a bit lonely )

回到我们的Never Land ( Come back to our Never Land )

回忆都还在 我们彼此凝望微笑都还在 (All the memories are still there, our smiles as we stared at each other are still here )

我永远是你彼得 我还留在时间里期盼 (I’ll forever be your Peter Pan, I’m still here in time looking forward to it )

穿越云彩 飞过记忆的海 去看无可替代的爱 (Travel through the clouds, fly over the sea of memories, go to see your irreplaceable love )

Oh~Woo~oh Oh~Woo~Oh Oh Oh

欺负你的人都被我打败赶跑 (Those who bullied you were all defeated by me and chased away)

那一段记忆在心里清晰完好 (That memory is still clear and intact in my heart )

I don’t think im strong enough to wait for the song to end, so I decide to leave now, To Him.. who waited for me, For the other who know about peter pan story always said that he’s the best for wendy

But That’s wrong, there’s someone.. who remains unknown by world. Remain nameless … someone that successfully open wendy heart.

A heart that beating only for peter pan that time.....

And the heart that cold as ice because that heart that betray peter pan and choose at leaving him alone in neveland

那天你把心 交给了我保存 附上你的亲 (That day you gave me your heart to keep, attaching your kisses )

在你的身边 心就像飞上云彩 (When I’m next to you, my heart feels like it’s flying through the clouds )

我唯一的公主你比温迪更可爱 (You, my one and only princess, are even cuter than Wendy )

“Why so fast ?” he look at me with his confused face. And I really find it cute

“because someone’s waiting alone in here, Do you know why wendi choose to leave peter pan when she love him so much ?” I ask him

“How should I know. Im not the writer. If you’re finish lets go home now. We have big day tomorrow” He pokes my forehead.

“Meanieee~” I whined because he always like that.

“Well, whatever the reason. Wendy is happy with her life after she left neverland. And peter pan is happy because he keep being himself, maybe he find his own happiness like how wendy find hers” He open the car door and signaling me to enter it

“Peter pan is the best isn’t he?”

“Yes He’s”

心跳不已都只是因为你 双眼看到你才有了光彩 (My heart only beats for you, my eyes only glow after I see you )

你的彼得 离开你有一点孤单 (Your Peter Pan, after leaving you he was a bit lonely)

回到我们的Never Land (Come back to our Never Land )

回忆都还在 我们彼此凝望微笑都还在 (All the memories are still there, our smiles as we stared at each other are still here )

我永远是你彼得 我还留在时间里期盼 (I’ll forever be your Peter Pan, I’m still here in time looking forward to it)

“I take you to be my partner for life, I promise above all else to live in truth with you , And to communicate fully and fearlessly, I give you my hand and my heart , As a sanctuary of warmth and peace And pledge my love, devotion, faith and honor As I join my life to yours. I can’t promise you happily ever after, but I promise to try and make you smile and protect you as your husband. Please accept me to prove it to you”

“I can’t give you eternity. But I’ll give you all my time. Because I know you’re the one for me. I’ll be your wife, I’ll be the mother of your child and I’ll grow old together with you and die in your arms”

“Now I announce you two as a husband and wife. You can kiss your wife now.” That the last thing I heard from the priest before I feel a lips covering mine and a hand that wrap around my waist that bring me closer to him and deepen the kiss

穿越云彩 飞过记忆的海 去看无可替代的爱 (Travel through the clouds, fly over the sea of memories, go to see your irreplaceable love )

粉红色在脸上停驻 感觉似乎云端漫步(Pink is stuck on your face, it seems just like strolling atop a cloud)

Baby Boo 我心跳过速 像画中走出一样的YOU (Baby Boo my heart is speeding, the you who seems like you just stepped out of a painting)

那时你双目 像微笑对我打招呼 (Back then your eyes were like a smile waving at me )

现在也还为你心里开一扇窗一直都等着你飞到 (Even now I still leave open a window in my heart waiting for you to come through )

装在我童话里的你 飞在我天空 Sweety Girl (The you who is built into my fairytale, fly into my sky Sweety girl)

“Umma !!” I can feel a little tug in my dress before I look down and see my beautiful angel with her cute pout in her face. Before I bend down and scoop her in my arms.

“Yes baby girl ?”

“Are we gonna pick up oppa now?”

“Yes, we’re. your brother class end now and we gonna walk like always. That’s okay right?” She nodded her head so fast

“So, tell me about your days at kindergarten today”

“Today. I made a friend with someone named Zhang Zhouri. He’s cute ! he can dance so well umma !! you need to look at him dance one day and not only that ! I heard his father used to be a singer and dancer . something like hmnn.. doll !!!”

“Not doll, bby. Idol”

“What is idol umma ?”

“a singer that can do everything, dance, sing, acting . idol is a perfection. And it only exist in umma time.”

“Oh.. Okay . His father name is Zhang Yixing, he was ex member of EXO” 

“……………………..”

“Umma ?”

“well, Show him to umma tomorrow okay ? Don’t tell appa about it. Promise ?”

“Promise”

"Is there any chance you've a friend with Kim, Do, Byun or park sure name ?" 

"Ummmaaaa~ /whines/ Oppa & Appa waiting/" She whines at me and i just pouted a little before answering her

"Arraassooo baby girl"

我的心还在悸动跳动 这孤独岛屿没有了你 (My heart is still throbbing, this lonely island doesn’t have you anymore )

刻在我记忆里的你 永远抹不去Pretty Girl (The you who is engraved into my memories, you can never be erased Pretty girl )

我的心还在悸动跳动 这里没有你 (My heart is still throbbing, this place has no you)

翻过有你最后一段 (I flipped to the last bit about you)

虽然会有一点遗憾 (Although I’ll feel a bit of regret)

把悲伤解散 用希望的语言去修改替代 (I’m going to dissolve the sadness, and use the language of hope to fix and substitute )

让时间的发快转 (Let time fast forward )

我们的故事还有一半 (We still have half of our story left)

-The END-

The last lyric of Peter Pan : 某个转弯 命运还在等待 一定会有美丽安排 (At some turn, fate is still waiting, they definitely have a beautiful plan for us )

  Time Flies so fast, and Im no longer a kid without responbility
                      Now, I've a life where i need to always kook forward without looking back

My past was Gradually forgotten, But ..... I know Deep in my heart I still have a room where
                          "I am the little wendy who always miss her Peter Pan"
                   

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