Baekhyun had just finished sipping his tenth milkshake for the day when suddenly, a maniac with frizzy orange hair appeared.

 

‘Hello! I am Cnyol, the milkshake god!’ Chanyeol said.

Baekhyun was mildly creeped out, but then his dad had bought him a giant rubber duck shaped tub for his sixteenth birthday, so he was very prepared.

‘Sorry, I didn’t quite get that.’

‘CH-AN-YE-OL.’ Chanyeol shouted.

‘OK, Chanyeol I didn’t think there was a milkshake fairy.’ Baekhyun said whilst Chanyeol hopped on one leg, hyper.

‘Well there is!’ Chanyeol took Baekhyun’s cheeks in both hands and pulled them ‘SO! For some random reason since you drink the most milkshake of anyone in the world, I can make you my apprentice’

‘But I don’t wanna be your app-owww…’ Baekhyun rubbed his cheek where Chanyeol pinched it too hard.

‘Not optional… unless… you… STOP? Being the most drinky milkshake person itw.’

‘itw? Oh in the world... I didn’t think I drank that much’

‘It’s only 7.15... thirty minutes after you got up. I must say, most people who drink that much don’t live to their sixteenth.’

‘I’m also a track runner.’

‘Oooh…’

‘…’

Baekhyun and Chanyeol stood in awkwardness.

‘I’ll be off then,  and remember, every time you drink a milkshake, you’re one step closer to being my apprentice!’ Chanyeol took the lid off Baekhyun’s milkshake and jumped in, leaving Baekhyun to quizzically look at the huge presence of before-Chanyeol, then down at his small milkshake cup.

He shrugged and continued sipping.

 

 

 

The next day he went cold turkey. It had been a whole 24 hours since he’d had a milkshake and he was desperate. The elevator packed in full and he opened his manbag. Baekhyun took out a small packet of milkshake and poured some drops into his mouth, in pleasure.

The people round him looked especially freaked out.

‘Psst. Psst.’ Baekhyun tried to look round but there was too little space to see anyone.

Then he looked up.

Chanyeol was on the ceiling using the pressure of his long limbs pressing the inside of the lift to keep himself upright.

‘ you Baekhyun!’ Chanyeol grinned in pain and Baekhyun could see the veins popping from his arms.

‘Why are you here?’

‘Shh. People can’t hear or see me but they can you.’

‘Well, then why do you have to be up there?’

Chanyeol looked at Baekhyun like he was mad ‘The lift is full. I can’t go through people.’

‘So you can make yourself invisible but not be a ghost? I thought you were a god?’

Chanyeol mumbled angrily ‘Damn that Zeus and his a god too minor you doesn’t need all the amazing power. Milkshakes are important dangit.’

Baekhyun didn’t care if he sounded crazy. Everyone there already thought he was anyway. He could hear one frantically jabbing the next floor key to get out. ‘So why now?’

‘Since you’re my apprentice my body assumes something blah di blah all complicated, cant be bothered to explain it. Basically whenever you drink, I come.’

Baekhyun gave into his tempatation and took out his emergency milkshake ration from the lining of his blazer.

‘Can’t you go again?’

‘There’s some time limit I think.’

He saw Chanyeol’s hands beginning to tremble and this time Chanyeol was actually frowning.

The elevator made a bing noise and the whole carriage save Baekhyun rushed out (even though most of their stops were ground floor).

Chanyeol dropped, body missing Baekhyun’s by a bit but arm catching Baekhyun on the head causing Baekhyun to careen forward and lose balance.

Chanyeol laughed hysterically as Baekhyun rubbed his head and pouted.

‘I like you. Not in a romatic way, I just… think you’d make a good friend.’ Baekhyun said it so suddenly even Chanyeol’s head didn’t have time to catch up.

‘What why?’ This was the first time Chanyeol had used his surprised puppy dog eyes and Baekhyun really wanted to cuddle him. But he didn’t.

‘Just because. Can’t really explain, and it makes no sense.’

‘THEN YOU’RE PURRRFECT FOR ME!’ Chanyeol shouted. Baekhyun wondered what the cat-pun had any relevance. They were not talking about cats.

 

 

 

But then again, he was speaking to Chanyeol, god of milkshakes.

 

 

Baekhyun really DIDN’T want to be god of milkshakes. For starters, what would Chanyeol become? Secondly, it sounded like work, and Baekhyun was impossibly lazy.

 

He was at his coaching session now, practising the 1500m. He was lazy, but he had a talent for running.

 

Actually, he ran very fast because he thought the faster he ran, the longer he could sit. Getting a boring job was a hassle, he would have to spend a long time at work, and he would have to waste an awful lot of energy pretending to work. The good thing was, he was rewarded by his coach a milkshake for every good run (which was most). The bad thing was, he COULDN’T DRINK IT. It was driving him crazy.

 

In a break, he took a sneaky sip of it and then sneaked a peek around to see if Chanyeol was there.

He felt a chin on his shoulder a few moments later.

‘Nearly didn’t see that you little ninja!’ Chanyeol was surprisingly calm for… Chanyeol.

‘Guess what? You only need a STUNNING 100ml more to be forced to become my apprentice!’

‘What happens to you.’

‘I am still god. We just bring joy to more people by being two gods.’

‘Doesn’t make sense.’

‘Well, there would only be two of us because literally, no-one else has lived past sixteen with drinking the required amount of milkshake to show true dedication.’

‘How much?’

‘Roughly 15,450 gallons. Assuming you drink 15 500ml milkshake drinks a day from the very start of your life.’

‘Wow. I drink a lot.’

 

 

 

Chanyeol grinned happily ‘Not that much!’

 

 

‘What’s that… Chanyeol….’ Chanyeol had a suspicious arm behind his back.

 

He brought it the cup up and while Bakehyun’s mouth was half open inbetween saying the next sentence he poured the milkshake down Baekhyun’s throat.

 

Baekhyun gulped automatically. Then gulped in anticipation.

‘How much was that?’ A drop of sweat trickled down his forehead.

 

‘Precisely 100ml!’ Chanyeol grinned and then rubbed Baekhyun’s head

‘YOU ARE NOW A GOD!’ he screamed.

 

The coach looked back.

 

Chanyeol quickly ducked ‘Whoops forgot to conceal and mute myself heh heh. Zeus is going to be mad, what with me having this conversation within other human earshot.’

 

‘Why did you do that?!’ Baekhyun angrily stood up and stormed off.

‘It’s because I get lonely.’ Chanyeol’s quiet whisper was so out of character Baekhyun could hear it plain as daylight. ‘Besides… you can still appear visible sometimes so your family won’t be sad.’

Seeing Chanyeol near to crying makes Baekhyun feel like he overreacted and just screamed at a little boy.

 

‘There, there.’ Baekhyun says whilst hugging Chanyeol. ‘I don’t mind. I kind of liked you anyway.’

 

‘In a friend way?’ Baekhyun can almost see an imaginary flower drooping on Chanyeol’s head.

 

‘Not entirely.’ Chanyeol’s imaginary dog ears (Baekhyun likes to change his imaginary metaphor now and then) prick up.

 

‘YAY!’ Baekhyun’s bowled over by Chanyeol’s lanky frame. It also effectively ruins any sort of romatic moment they may have had.

 

‘Should I tell you a secret?’ Chanyeol shout-whispers it in Baekhyun’s ear.

Baekhyun nods.

 

‘You’re actually the second most milkshake drinker in the world. I just really like you. You won’t tell anyone right?’

 

Baekhyun shakes his head and hugs Chanyeol nearer.

 

 

 

The coach shakes his head at his top 1500m runner miming hugging air quite effectively. Since the start he’d known that there had been something wrong with that Baekhyun, but he’d hoped that he would turn loony after the national 1500m competition. He looks peeks back round to find no-one there. The coach throws the towel in for the day and takes sick leave.