A Moment of Humanity
Out of the DarknessRather than have the others wake us up when they get there, Yongguk and I pull out all the blankets and flattened pillows we have and pile them around us. I throw my boots to the side and pull off my socks.
"Somebody's going to have to do laundry soon," I mention casually. "I've only got a few pairs of socks left and there's no way I'm walking around wearing boots without them."
Yongguk chuckles. "Poor Zelo. You're going to stick him with everyone's laundry again, aren't you?"
"Hey, Junhong's got dozens of kids he can bribe into helping him," I retort with a laugh.
"You still call him Junhong… Why?"
I pause to think about it.
"Because he's very dear to me."
Apparently my reply isn't what he is looking for because it earns me a look.
"He's dear to all of us. We are to each other; that's what makes us this thrown-together version of a family."
"Don't talk like that," I snap, offended that he would say something so insensitive about our family. "We specifically decided to accept who is our family and who isn't; we are anything but thrown-together."
Yongguk raises his hands in surrender. "Okay, I –"
"And you know I have a soft spot for Zelo."
"Yeah, I do," Yongguk shrugs. "We all do. He's the baby. But he's also a lot wiser than people are willing to give him credit for, which is why I don't understand why you of all people are so –"
"What's that supposed to mean?" I round on him. "Me of all people? What, do you expect that because I'm always yelling at people that I can't want to watch out for them as well?"
"Bree, that's not what I meant!" he shouts.
"!" I move to slap his chest but he smacks my hand away.
Now he's done it.
I try again and he defends again before going after me; relatively quickly it devolves in to a slapping match, our heads turned away as we swing wildly at one another.
"Ow!"
I stop and look at him. "You okay?"
"Yeah. You poked me in the eye."
"Sorry…" I cringe. "Let me see."
"It'll be fine. Besides, now we match."
"What?" He reaches out and pokes my eyebrow. "Ow!"
"Actually, you've still got me beat for daily injuries. You hit the ladder pretty hard when you grabbed Ravi. Come here." Pushing a crate over near the lights, Yongguk sits me down and examines my face. "Yeah, you've actually split your eyebrow open. It's not that bad, so you're not going to have to go bother Himchan about stitches. You are however, going to have one hell of a black eye. I have to admit though, that was a nice save; I don't doubt that the men from VIXX appreciate that you recognized he was going to fall and acted so quickly."
I shrug. "I'm sure they would have done the same for any of us."
"That's not my point."
"Then what exactly your point is, because as far as I can tell you're just doing some verbal moonwalking."
"What?"
"Lots of talking with nothing really being said."
"Hey!"
"What?"
"Rude."
"Sorry."
"Are you?"
"Not actually, but I figured that's what you wanted to hear. I would have kept pretending I was too, but you asked so…" I reply honestly, crossing my arms over my chest.
Yongguk exhales loudly in frustration before sitting down to pull his own boots and socks off. I don't know why he's been so irritable lately, but at the same time I really don't care; what I care about is the fact that it's only me he's been so y with. I get the feeling that it's probably something he doesn't want to talk about so I don't bother asking but it doesn't stop it from bothering me. I heave a sigh of my own before yawning widely when a set of balled up overalls hit me upside the head. I'm not sure if I should be offended or laugh, but when I hear his infectious laughter I find myself joining in. It isn't often that I get the chance to stop and be human, and I'm glad for the times when it does happen. Pulling at the zipper of my own overalls, I throw them aside before crashing on the floor, sprawling across everything we had set out and enjoying the delicious softness and space that I had to myself. I curl up on myself with an oof has Yongguk flops over to join me, his head landing on my stomach.
"So what do you make of that moving tunnel?" he asks me suddenly.
"Honest answer or tough-as-nails leader answer?" I ask.
"Honest. I wouldn't ask a question if I didn't want the truth."
"True…"
I don't answer him right away. Frankly, it has me worried. I know nothing about it aside from the fact that there's at least two unknown men living in them somewhere. I don't know how the tunnel moves, I don't know anything about the inhabitants, and worst of all I know nothing of their allegiances. These men obviously know that we're up to something otherwise they wouldn't have been right outside the rabbit hole – the question is, how much do they know?
"In all honesty, it has me worried – almost scared. Whoever makes it, we know nothing about them and from experience we know that around here the unknown can kill you. What if it has something to do with the Rats? What if it's the government getting ready to come after us? If they know who we are, they can probably find some way to trace us back to every other district involved in this."
I feel Yongguk nod.
"One of us needs to go back in there."
I bolt upright.
"Are you nuts? We have no idea what any of this has to do with anything, and considering one of them was on fire and doing just fine, I think I can safely assume that he could kill me!"
"But he didn't."
I blink slowly, deliberately, and I think about this. He's right. When I went into the tunnel as a child, they could have killed me right then and there and nobody would have been the wiser. I have to admit that just this one little fact piques my curiosity about the people in there. If there are two people there, are there others elsewhere?
"Bree?"
"I'm okay – just thinking. And you're right. I have to go back in there at some point."
"Woah there, I said one of us, as in any of the seven of us; I wasn't volunteering you for anything. If you go in there and they do turn out to be hostile, everyone here is going to need you to keep on leading them."
I laugh harshly. "Me lead them? Ha!"
"Bree, did you see yourself today?" I go quiet. "You lead six outsiders through our tunnels like it was nothing when we'd recently had a government scare –"
"Says the second in command…"
I'm suddenly knocked over, tackled to the relatively soft ground and it becomes a fight again. If there's one thing Yongguk doesn't like it's being interrupted, though I know he never would hurt anyone for it. He knows from dealing with me for years that sometimes the best way to cure my sarcasm and negativity is to wake me up, something I barely am right now. I can barely keep up with him and in the end I'm on my back as he sits sideways on my stomach, his legs stretched out and his hands clasped in his lap.
"You lead six outsiders through our tunnels like it was nothing when we'd recently had a government scare. I may be the field commander, but that only puts me in charge of maybe, maybe, a dozen people when we're out on a mission. Down here, you organize hundreds of people on a daily basis while keeping track of what's going on in different districts, keeping tabs on who's who over there and down here, and taking care of newbies. Then there's the fact that you still watch out for Zelo, Jongup, and Daehyun like they're your baby brothers, as well as –"
"Okay, okay. I get it. I have a lot of things that I do for people here, now get off."
"That's not my point. Bree, you're important to a lot of people around here, and you're a good leader. What I'm trying to say is that we all want you to become one of the main leaders of this rebellion. I don't understand why you haven't stepped up to the plate with N and the guys from MBLAQ. They're some of the biggest players in all of this and they offered you a more substantial role in this whole thing a long time ago. I think it's something you'd be suited for and that you being there would do a lot of good. We all think so. And we are all willing to take on the responsibilities you'd leave behind if you were to take them up on it."
I try to shove him off. "You know I can't. I couldn't take a leader's role if you guys aren't there with me."
Another sigh and he gets off of me. "Just think about it again."
"After. Tomorrow I have to help in the Shelter to organize the move."
"Promise?" he asks as he stands up and turns down the lights.
I groan and curl up in the pile of bedding on the ground. He's just not going to let it go. "Go to sleep, Yongguk."
Yongguk lies down in front of me. "I'll move when Zelo gets here, I promise. I don't feel like getting hit in the face in the middle of the night…"
"Mm hmm…" I mumble. By the time he pulls the blankets up, I'm already drifting off.
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