Zhang Yixing was always disappointed with himself.

He was always.

He hated himself. He hated that he was so useless, pathetic, worthless, weak. He was anything but useful.

Zhang Yixing hated himself.

He blamed no one that he was born this way. He didn't blame his loving parents that he had born without a sound to speak up him emotion, without the right mental to convey but he was glad that he was born to this world, that itself had made him proud.

Yixing always blamed himself. He had told himself that he would try to help, try to understand, but no matter how much he tried, he just couldn't afterall; i'm weak.

Zhang Yixing's smile was worth than anything to his parents. His smiles could place a smile both on their faces, but whenever they thought of how Yixing felt at of his 22 years without a sound and mental to speak up, they frowned and cries silently behind his back, sobbing out their heart out because; it's all my fault.

Their wishes was crushed, hope of Yixing getting better were torn to little piece of scattered paper and was blown away with the fast wind, disappearing without any trace left behind. Yixing on the other hand was never meant to wished it. He just wished that his parents would be always by his side, because to Yixing, his parents mattered the most no matter how much misfortune he has.

They tried a lot; too much in fact - or so Yixing thought. His parents had tried a lot of way so that Yixing might be cured, but Yixing, with his book and pen always by his side wrote.

You don't need to try hard. No matter what i love you.

and they would break into their hole of sadness. Crying in front of Yixing while Yixing patted them - sad smile plastered on his face.

 

But maybe, some hope could returned.

When Yixing had met you and you had became friends with him, Yixing's parents could see the glow of light in Yixing's face. He was always happy, but the current look on his face showed that he couldn't be much happier.

They had asked you to love him - but at that time, you politely refused and has asked for more time, and they had let you to know Yixing more better. They gave no further respond about your refusal.

You found out a lot about Yixing. His parents had told you a lot and you couldn't stop the felt of pity.

I don't need any pity.

Yixing had said when he realized you were looking at him with the most familiar look that people had give to Yixing. At the same day, it was the first time you and his parents had seen him letting out his anger and cries. He was a mess. He couldn't say what he wanted to say so he had use his belongings, afterall, action speak louder than words.

He had apologize by bowing for the time the next day. He kept bowing and bowing after the ugly incident happened. He couldn't looked at your eyes - he was so disappointed by himself.

A lot of ugly things might happened, you had assured him. But to no luck, he had pushed you away, punishing himself for showing the bad side of him.

"He might need time" His mom had told you and you decided to leave him alone for several days while hoping he could looked at your eyes with his beaming smile, dimples showing sweetly that made you smiled bigger than no one has made you.

 

I'm sorry

He came to your apartement several days after that. His head bow low and his book raised above his head. You smiled softly at him and asked him to entered inside.

You both then enjoyed the silent atmosphire the lonely apartement is. Though things still awkward for Yixing, he had warmed up again to you as he talked about what he wanted to say to the world and you had definitely a great time that day.

You understood him better now. You had solved yours and his problems. But not all. Not all.

The very next day, you had knocked on his house door to be opened by his dad.

"Come in!" He greeted brightly as he shoved you inside.

He had asked what was the occasion and though you wanted to kept this as a secret, the begging look of his dad made you gave up to your secrecy.

"I see! That would be a really great idea!" He had replied as you told him what you had thought to do.

Yixing was oftened bullied away from his neighbourhood. His inabilities had caused him to be looked down upon and you had barely noticed that if it wasn't for that one time you were going on a surprise visit for Yixing. It seemed like Yixing would always get bullied whenever he take his usual morning stroll around the neighbourhood. He was insulted but the smile he put on his face never loosen.

Yixing was quite surprised when you came today.

A surprise visit again? Why didn't you tell me?

"Because then it wouldn't be a surprise" you replied.

You then had dragged him away without any warning - not before saying bye to his parents.

He had struggled around your soft hold and managed to take him wrist back and looked at you with a questioning gaze.

"Just come with me Yixing" you replied as you laughed at his clueless face. He was going to refuse by the look on his face, but another look from you had made him obeyed you and followed you like a lost puppy.

Yixing was beyond confused when you stopped at the nearest park around the neighbourhood. A lot of people was there. From kids to elderly and you smiled in content because of the number of the people it has on the park.

Yixing tugged the end of your shirt as you slowly walked away from him after telling him; Stay here.

You just smiled at him and told him.

"Trust me"

You walked to the middle of the park where there were a fountain and a bench next to it. You had stand on the bench and inhaled deeply.

"I'm sorry for the ruckuss i might be making today, but today, this time, i just wanted to tell you about something important that you have to learn and respected."

You had explained for a long time about how Yixing felt about his inabilities. Yixing had burried his face with his palms at that time.

You had then continued about how many struggles and supportive Yixing has no matter how much he was bullied and discouraged. The elderly sitting there was silently pitying on Yixing.

Yixing cried when you had told him how you felt about his experience and how you had told the neighbourhood to take care of Yixing because no one knows how Yixing felt.

You finished your long speech after a loud Thank You and please take care of Yixing over there as you pointed at him.

Yixing cried a lot there in the park.

He was shy when a kid went to him and gave him a lollipop. He smiled brighly but shyly as he took it from the kid's hand and pat the kid's head.

They both came back to Yixing's house after a lot of praises and words or reassurements from the people around the park.Yixing couldn't contained his feels as he kept swirling around while walking back home. He had written;

Thank you for today

and give you a slight peck at your cheek. Blush crept up to his cheeks and you chuckled at his shyness before retuning back his peck and smile bashfully; Your welcome.

And Yixing couldn't be much happier in his life without you by his side.