ok perhaps, this story is a three-shot...

AND SHOUT OUT TO SUBSCRIBERS AND TO THOSE WHO COMMENT!!!!!!!!

YOU GUYS... ARE MY BACKBONE 

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“what do I do? What do I do?” Donghae paced back and forth in his bedroom – talking to himself.

Hyukjae’s words were ringing in his ears.

“It means..I LOVE him?”

His eyes widened. It was the first time he said it out loud.

“I LOVE Hyukjae?”

“Absurd”

“No Way!”

---

The next day, Donghae got up an hour earlier than usual and walked to school by himself. And that day, Hyukjae was late. When he ran into class, the teacher looked at him, his breath was short, his shirt untucked and his tie half undone. It was obvious that Hyukjae had been running to make it in time.

“Why didn’t you wake me up today?”

Donghae remained silent and pretended to be reading his text book.

“Hae? You had breakfast? My mom bought your fave cereal. Why didn’t you come?”

Silence again.

Hyukjae didn’t think much of it at first. And for the rest of the day, Hyukjae tailed Donghae, trying to make a conversation.

“Hae? Seriously man, what’s up with you today?” They were walking home together as usual, but the atmosphere was definitely different.

“What? Nothing’s wrong.”

“So…” Hyukjae nudged his friend, “did you tell her yet?”

“What?”

“Jessica. Did you tell her?”

“Tell her what?”

“Are you playing dumb?”

“Oh! Oh!”

“did you tell her that you like her?”

“well… I didn’t. turns out I don’t like her.”

“What?”

“I think… I may like someone else.” Donghae said, mentally noting that the word he should’ve used was ‘love’ not ‘like’.

“Oh really?”

“Yeah. But I don’t know. I want to be sure.”

“Oh come on. We’re 12! What could possibly go wrong. Just tell her.”

Him. Donghae mentally corrected Hyukjae. It’s a him.

“Well, I don’t know. Not every one is normal. And some of us have to think about things like these very carefully. It’s not always easy Hyukjae!!!!!” Donghae suddenly raised his voice, his eyes portraying a mix of fear and anger.

“Geez, Hae. No need to bite me. I’ll see you tomorrow, ok?” And with that, Hyukjae ran towards his house, escaping a frustrated Donghae.

---

Days, weeks and even months have passed. Donghae had decided to supress everything in the hope of it going away one day. But grade 6 graduation was round the corner and they will be in secondary school next year. Perhaps separated. The two boys continued to be boys: play, fight and, well, play. But something changed between them. It was indescribable. It was a slight change. Very slight that only they themselves were able to realise it. There were awkward moments between them, sometimes. There were things they couldn’t share with each other anymore. This had mainly began when Donghae tried to distance himself from Hyukjae as soon as he realised that he loved the other boy. But Hyukjae remained clueless. And sometimes, Donghae rethinks why he ever thought Hyukjae was the ‘wise’ one.

“Hae… have you applied for a secondary school yet?”

“Not sure. My mom is doing everything. What about you?”

“Yeah, same.”

“What if we don’t end up in the same school?”

There was a moment of silence. That was always a possibility.

“I don’t know Hae.”

“Hyukkie…” Donghae stopped in his track and inhaled a deep breath, “I want to tell you something.”

“What is it?” Sensing the seriousness, Hyukjae, too, stopped walking and looked Donghae in the eyes.

“I…umm… I…Umm…never mind.”

“What? Oh come on Hae. You’ve got to tell me.”

“Some other time?”

“What? You know that I’m a curious monkey. Do you want me to lose sleep?”

“Fine.”

“That’s a good fish!”

“Well… I kinda like someone.”

“Like someone?”

“Yeah.”       ‘love’ actually. Donghae said to himself.

“Jessi…”

“no”

“Who?”

“well, I can’t really tell you who…”

“Hae… I’ve been meaning to say something to you too.”

Donghae held his breath without even realising.

“What is it?”

“You’ve been keeping a lot from me lately. Did I do something wrong? I don’t know. It’s like we stopped being friends, sometimes. Did I do something wrong? Cause if I did…I’m really sorry.”

Donghae chuckled.

“You’re apologising for a mistake you don’t even know if you did?”

“I’ll apologise for anything, Hae. There’s only a few weeks left and we don’t even know if we’re going to be together anymore. I don’t want anything to come between us, Hae. We’ve been together since forever. So if I did anything, I’m just really really sorry.”

Then apologise for stealing my heart.

“No, Hyukkie. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Hyukjae smiled.

“That’s a relief. So tell me…about this person you like.”

“Well… when I’m with this person, I feel so happy. Like so happy. So so happy.”

“wow. That sounds like a whole load of happiness.”

“Yes it is. And I just feel like keeping him in my pocket, so I could always be with him.”

Hyukjae’s eyes widened.

“him?”

Donghae’s eyes widened too.

“him?” he repeated.

“him?”

Donghae waited for a reaction – perhaps any sign of disgust.

“you…you…you’re gay?”

“I’m not exactly sure, actually.”

“What…what…how…how…when…who…”

“Relax Hyukkie... I know it’s a lot to take in. I just feel really lucky to have met this guy. He fills my soul. He’s my everything, he’s my happiness, my sadness, my blessings. He’s my best friend.”

Hyukjae’s heart tore a little bit. He had always considered Donghae his best friend. But Donghae, obviously considers someone else as his.

“Hyukkie?”

“Hyukkie?”

“yeah! Yeah! I’m listening. Keep going.”

“And yeah, I’m not sure what to do. I don’t want to let him know, cus you know…he may not even like guys… and well, I don’t want him to not know. Cus… I really do want him to know!”

Hyukjae tried to process Donghae’s sentences.

“So what are you going to do?”

“That’s what I want to ask you. what should I do? What would you do?”

Hyukjae doesn’t know what overcame him. He suddenly felt like running away, hide in a small corner and let his tears flow. His sudden change in mood was confusing him.

“I don’t know Donghae, do whatever you want. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

------

It was graduation day. And Hyukjae had a speech to deliver that day.

For days, he had been busying himself with writing and practicing for his speech. For days, he had managed to distance himself from his best friend.

He was about to write another sentence when he heard a soft knock on his window. And he immediately knew who it was.

“Geez, door Donghae, use the door!”

“Well, i want to make the most of the time left.  Who knows when I’ll be too big to climb on the tree and fit through this window.”

“right…”

So what are you up to?”

“Just writing the speech.”

“oh. Only a few more hours left. You’re always leaving things to the last minute!”

“Well… I’ve been too distracted. Thanks to someone.”

Donghae didn’t think much of Hyukjae’s statement. He went straight to lie down on his best friend’s bed.

“so…”

“so…”

There was an awkward silence.

Hyukjae thought of many questions to ask Donghae, but none seemd appropriate. He was about to ask the slightly younger boy why he came, but Hyukjae realised it was a stupid question. Donghae never had a reason.

“Hyukkie… you can continue to write. I’m just going to be here. I need to think of stuff.”

“You came to think?”

“Yeah, I can think better in this room. I don’t know why. Maybe cus it’s much cleaner than my room…”

Hyukjae rolled his eyes. His room is definitely cleaner than Donghae’s pig sty.

Hyukjae sat in front of his desk and was about to resume writing when Donghae spoke up again.

“Hyukkie, I’ve decided!”

“Decide what?”

“I’m going to tell him”

“tell who, what?”

“Hyukkie…I…”

“Don’t.”

“huh?”

“Don’t tell him.”

“b…but…but why?”

“Just…” Hyukjae wasn’t even sure why he said that, “just…cus…”

“just cus…isn’t even a reason.”

“He…that guy…he might not even like you. and…well…and he may even stop talking to you. do you want that?” Hyukjae suddenly felt like a really really bad friend. He was only 12, but he knew that whatever he was doing was going to invite karma to knock on his door – soon.

“I thought about that. A lot. But…I just, I just have to tell him.”

Hyukjae was defeated. Every one knew that once Lee Donghae sets his mind on something, he will do it.

“Hyukkie…after your speech, after our graduation, could you meet me on the rooftop of Building C?”

“What? Why?”

“I’m going to be meeting him there. And I need your moral support.”

Hyukjae’s heart shattered into a million and one pieces. And he was still unsure why.

“ok.”