“You're the one who wrote this, right?” Kris’ voice! Kris’ heavenly voice! I could only nod my head—it was out of reflex. I could feel stares burnt onto us. But no one seemed to mind—we could’ve been engaged in a mere conversation, that’s all. But little did they know that I was dying with hope and anticipation here!

Kris left his luggage on the side of an empty chair and sat next to me. Luckily, I was the only one left on our table. What should I do? How should I react? What is this? Am I going to be confessing to him? Why is here? Shouldn’t he be leaving by now? And where is Seohyun? I tried to talk but I would only make a fool out of myself so I kept my focus back on my glass.

“I didn’t know.” He started again. I looked at him—probably with a weird look on my face that he had to stress out his words again. “I didn’t know that you lik—I mean, feel such way towards me.” I gasped—we were really going to have this talk! Did he halt his flight just because he wanted to talk to me? Ugh, don’t have such high hopes, dummy!

“I won’t ask how long has it been…since you stated them in this letter.” He mentioned that stupid letter again. “Anyway, I just want to—”

“Why are you here?” I cut him. I had to—it was seriously flooding my mind with curiosity. “I mean, shouldn’t you be in the airport already? I mean, Tao isn’t here. He’s your best friend.” I bit my lips—feeling totally like a stalker now. Kris let out a chuckle. His grip fell back on the handle of his luggage. I looked away from it—I don’t want to think of his departure.

Junho came towards us and I tried to shoo his away with my eyes—luckily, the song ‘Gentleman’ by Psy was being played and his friends grabbed him to dance along on the stage. My friends are such gays—I shook my head. I could see that Kris looked like he’ll be missing those dorks as well. But I’m surprised that he came to see me first.

“I just wanted to thank you.” He said in the midst of the loud music. I pretended not to hear but I could even feel him gulping. I say—this is probably his first time handling a stupid girl like me. I bet he thinks I’m stupid as well. Who am I after all—to have liked him? Maybe he and Seohyun would have already laughed at my stupid letter before coming here.

“I appreciate everything.” He continued. “I was no one and you made me realize that I could probably still be somebody.” But he’s already a ‘somebody’ in everyone’s eyes—especially in Seohyun’s. I faked myself laughing over the boys’ body gags on the stage—still shouting ‘Mother, father, gentleman’ but he could tell that I was pretending.

I gave up trying to be a but I couldn’t. “I’m not expecting anything. I just—wanted to let things out. I wanted to…express myself…before it’s all too late. I just… I don’t like regretting over stuff.” But he’s not just a plain stuff. He’s the one I like—maybe not like, as if ‘I want to make you mine’ and ‘I want to be yours’ kind of like. Just a—I admire him—that’s it.

“Anyway, good luck on your studies.” I tried to finish things off as soon as possible. The slow song came suddenly and I don’t like the way I fitted so well in this situation. Everyone was dancing and I’m trying to fight my tears. I don’t want to be seen so freaking alone for now! “Um, contact me on facebook anyway.”

Kris extended his hand for me and I stared at it like it’s some kind of a newly found creature. Does he want me to kiss his hand? Is that it? His eyes travelled back to the dance floor and then realities pushed me off Mount Everest—blame him for my weirdness now. I shook my head, and without my permission, a tear slipped off my eyes.

I was awkward. I began to laugh and looked away. I tried to hide myself as I wiped my tears with the back of my hand but who was he to be fooled? When my eyes met his again, he smiled. “Thank you for liking me.”

“Thank you for being someone I like.”

“I won’t forget you.” He said again. “Maybe it’s fate that my flight has been 3 hours delayed. Maybe it’s just fate that my girlfriend literally forced me to come all the way here. I was puzzled at what she ordered me to but it came quite well, talking about ‘us’ with you. She’d figured that you would be the one who miss me the most.”

Smart unnie. I stiffed out a laugh. “But really, thank you for liking me. I wasn’t sure how I am to be liked by someone so cute like you—” He patted my head, ruffling them even. I usually hated whenever people shuffle and mess with my hair, but with Kris oppa doing so, I really like it! Not that I’m being biased. “I watched you before. During the camp, I noticed that small girl, that small girl but with a big heart playing around, having so much fun with everyone. Don’t think that I never know you before.”

That’s weird—he’s complimenting me but I felt like crying again. I must’ve been biting my lips and looking so ugly that he looked away as well. Hints of guilt portrayed through his eyes as he slowly got up. Is that dance still offered? Oh my no—you have pride, girl! He glanced at his watch and I could see him getting even guiltier. So I waved at him, flashing my brightest smile.

“I wish the best for you.” He smiled back and held his luggage again. “I will ‘miss’ you.” I made that bunny sign when I said the word ‘miss’. Why did I do that? But really—I would miss him so much. I may have never been talking to him before but I felt so close to him right now. I wasn’t even crying so pathetically like this when my previous boyfriends broke things off with me.

“I’ll miss you too.” He said. I laughed again as I drank my almost empty drink. I just need to distract myself from holding him off. My heart did a back flip as he said those words and I could only nod. Who am I to trick? Him or myself?

“I will miss you, Kris.” I smiled bitterly. Luckily I wasn’t wearing any mascara for tonight. If I did, I’d probably look like a panda now and resembles his best friend, Tao. I laughed at my own jokes. But nothing would make me better—not even the encore performance by Junho and the others of the song ‘Gentleman’.

Kris sighed and I looked up to him. I must appear the happiest so he won’t ever forget me. I had liked him a little bit too much.

“Let’s have a nice chat when I return one day.” He said, leaning downwards to plant a small kiss on my cheek. I almost die—electrified by cupid’s arrow. He smiled and pulled away, waving over to me as he walked back to his friends—probably saying goodbye and explaining why he was there. I could only smile and watch his entire moves.

“Sorry, did I cause you to be forever alone tonight?” Baekhyun appeared by my side. Where’d his girlfriend go? I merely nod without fully understanding his question. His hand fixed my terrible hair as I was still stoned there. My eyes were still fixed on whenever Kris goes. I was totally mesmerized and I needed to wake the sense of myself. “I like him, Baek.”

Baekhyun’s eyes bulged and he looked around. He was about to ask who was it that I like when his girlfriend dragged him somewhere else again. I could care less. When Kris looked back at me before he walked out of the room, I could feel regrets all over my body. Why didn’t I dance with him earlier? Why didn’t I say thank you for the kiss? Why did I let Baekhyun touch the hair Kris had patted? Why didn’t I confess to him personally?

So I ran with my heels over to him and grabbed a small tug of his shirt. He was about to leave when I did so. Luckily everyone was still focusing on Kyuhyun’s serenade on the stage. Kris had to lean down to my level because even if I tip-toed, I would never even reach his ears.

“I like you, Kris.”

He still had that confused look, like he doesn’t know what to do. I smiled and took another deep breath. This is right—I’m not harming anyone’s relationship and it wasn’t like I’m expecting anything else for him. I want Kris to be happy for the girl he chose and I wish the best for him in whatever he does. So, I pushed him slightly and waved at him.

He smiled and walked away—walking towards his girl, and his dream in Canada. And I don’t even regret what I have done.

“You like Kris hyung?” Baekhyun sounded insulted. I was surprised with him but he was still staring at the closed door. “Why don’t you like Junho instead? Kris already had a girlfriend and he’s leaving. Girls…” He nagged. We were now walking back to our table. “Girls, huh, why won’t you ever like someone who likes you? Wouldn’t it be easier to like someone that likes you?”

“You don’t understand, Baek.”

“Try me,” He pouted. “Junho likes you. He’d be so sad hearing that you like someone else.” With a sympathy look on his face, he again patted my head, ruffling my hair like I’m some kind of a dog. And then, I fell back into myself. I let my feelings off with Kris as he walked away out of my life—romantically. I’d still ask for that promised date he had said just now.

Because I’m awesome.