Broken lights flickered in the bright room. The tiles were cold to the touch and the stale green was unpleasant to the eyes, for, if you looked close enough, they seemed to have been blue some time ago. The stench of urine saturated the air to the point where a faint taste would intrude if the mouth opened. The floor was littered with tissue and a few drops on menstrual blood were seen every now and again. Only one stall had a functioning door, and the rest were either gone or just barely hanging on by the hinges. One would wonder who would even dare to enter the restroom, much less use it.

At one of the sinks at the very end, the faucet seemed to just play a constant drop. A young woman was leaning over it and stared into the broken and browned mirror. She had her hair down to her shoulders, dyed a light, almost red, brown. It was layered and stopped right at her eyebrows. Her lips were a light pink and her skin had a light flush, whether it was from the heat or her nervousness is unknown.

She pulled out a tube of mascara from her small purse and gently applied it to her eyes before putting it back and adjusting her hair. She took a deep breath and stared at her reflection. She wore a pressed white collared shirt with long sleeves, a black skirt that stopped mid-thigh, black suspenders, and black laced wedges. She sighed as she ran her fingers through her hair before turning and walking out the door.

She exited the gas station, and as she walked past the corner, some loitering teenagers yelled out to her, but she ignored them. She continued to walk forward with purpose, but as she looked down at her watch, she sped forward in urgency. She ran down to a corner and quickly turned to get in line.

She waited for about 26 minutes before her turn came up. As she waited, she saw many girls, and even a few boys, being told to go back. It made her nervous even though it shouldn’t. When she reached the front, she was met with a large burly man in black. He was obviously security, but he still made her nervous.

“Ticket.” She looked up to him with large eyes before comprehending. She quickly took her phone out and showed the man her confirmation email from the fan club. He took the phone into his hands and looked at the email for a moment before handing it back to her. He slowly moved out of the way and signaled that she may enter.

She swiftly made her way inside with a smile and a small, “Thank you.”

Once she made it inside, her heart stopped as she saw the stage at the front. She stood and just stared at the stage, which was decorated with streamers and pictures of five boys. She brought her hand to and took a step back.

“Move!” Yelled out a girl before she shoved her aside and ran towards the front. She stumbled, but quickly regained her balance. She looked around and saw many more fans coming in. She was looking back and forth between the stage and the exit, hand coming back to .

“Everyone please take your places.” The girl looked up as she heard the voice over the intercom. As she turned her head back to the exit, she accepted the resolution that she should just stay and go through with this. It was her idea to come anyway, and it was too late to back out anyway.

She looked around and decided to sit in the very back corner, almost behind the pillar, but still visible. In the front, she was too visible. By the alleyway, they could easily go through. The middle is an automatic eye lock, and she didn’t want that, so she stayed at the corner. She sat and played with the hem of her skirt while silently puffing out her cheeks. She waited anxiously and contemplated leaving once more.

“Everyone, please welcome,” she sighed and withdrew to knowing that it’s too late to turn back now, “Teen Top!”

The audience exploded into applause and screams. The girl jumped at the sheer volume of the girls surrounding her, but then fell into applause as well. She smiled as she saw the five members walk out in unison before introducing themselves and bowing.

“Thank you all for coming to our first comeback fan meet in a long time,” said the boy with the deep voice. He had his head shaved on the sides and spiked at the top. He bowed with a smile before handing the microphone to a short boy with bright blonde hair.

“I hope we live up to your expectations,” he says. He smiles before continuing. “I know we have been gone for a while, but I promise that we have worked even harder than before for our Angels.” He pumped his fist into the air before giving the microphone to another lanky boy with a distinct Adam’s apple and large teeth.

“Thank you,” he started. “Thank you for waiting for us. We will work hard to show you all a different side from us.” He passed the microphone as his eyes started to water. He wiped his eyes away with a smile as the boy with large ears and black, slicked back hair started to speak.

“It’s been so long, that I hope all our Angels will understand me when I say that I want to show my more masculine side this time.” The audience started to murmur and even a few ‘aws’ escaped their lips. He chuckled at their response before continuing. “I will still keep my lovely image, but I also want to show that I’m more than just that.” He smiled as he passed the microphone to the last member. His jaw was chiseled and his hair was dyed a dirty, dark blonde. His stature was tall and his chest puffed with confidence. He kept his eyes locked with the audience with a somber look, but it disappeared when he moved to speak.

“Hello, my Angels.” He smiled as he looked into the crowd in adoration; his eyes raking over everyone. “I love you,” he said before handing the microphone back.  The audience broke out into squeals and screams, but the girl just kept to herself and smiled at the boys.

She relaxed as the even proceeded. They performed one of their new songs, but as they proceeded, they always stayed away from their old music. It made the girl drop her head whenever they made an excuse not to. They were answering questions left and right, but always avoided questions about their past.

“Oppa, can you please sing one of your old songs?” The audience started to agree and chant different song titles. The boy at the end, the youngest with the chiseled chin and confident stature, held his hand up to quiet down the angels. He looked over to the members, who all nodded.

“Alright,” he said. The Angels broke into applause as the members came to position. The music started to play, and as it did, the girl started to smile and tear up.

Their first ever song, their debut song, was playing. And they were performing it. She tried her hardest to keep the tears in, but it was no use. She watched as the youngest and the one with big ears shared the lines. She smiled as they performed together once again after so long. She softly mouthed along as they sang, and she held the hem of her skirt as she was in their trance, but she saw the sadness in their movements. Even though she was so far, she felt like she was on stage with them. She smiled widely as she watched them, but quickly wiped the tears away.  

The song ended all too soon for her liking. She watched as the members ended in their final positions, with what seemed like an empty spot in the front. It made her feel her tears come out even more, but she steadied her breath and hushed the tears away. She saw as the girl beside her looked at her with judging eyes, but she ignored it and just focused on the members on stage.

The members walked out of their places slowly and back into their seats. They tried their hardest to smile again, for the rest of the fan meet, but that small spark that was there before was gone. Before long, they ushered everyone outside. The members were waiting behind and just stared out into the mass of Angels. The girl followed in with the others and did her best to get lost in the crowd. She was taller than many of the girls, but she wasn’t the tallest. She also wasn’t the flashiest with her bright hair either, for there were girls with blue hair as well as blonde. She kept her eyes away from everyone, but that doesn’t mean that all eyes were off her.

As she walked, a few of the girls pushed and shove, but as she stumbled, one of the few fanboys helped her up.

“Ah, careful now,” he said. She smiled in thanks to him as they walked. Even though they didn’t speak, she could feel his stare on her and feel him follow her. It was uncomfortable, so as soon as they were outside, she dashed through the crowd and away from the boy.  It wasn’t that she felt threatened, but she did not want to interact with anyone that day. She just, wanted to be alone in this crowd.

The crowd was loud as they talked and laughed, but the girl just tried her best to hide amongst them. Out here, behind this studio, was a small stage. On that stage, it had a picture of a boat. The girls chattered and wondered what it was about, until the members came out once more.

They had managed to pull themselves together again and smiled out to the crowd. Their manager came out behind them and was welcomed with a warm greeting from the Angels.

“We will be having a special event today!” He announced. The Angels screamed out in excitement. “Each of the members will pick one Angel from random to join them on a private boat ride to an island to spend the weekend with!” The crowd screamed with excitement, but the girl just hid herself even further.

‘Why am I hiding?’ She thought. ‘None of them can even see me.’ She turned her head to be able to see them. She had ended up behind a bush. She wasn’t the only one, for a couple of Angels ended up behind bushes and barrels. She sighed and let her shoulders relax. They seem to have agreed to go by age, for the one with spiked back hair went first. As he scanned the crowd, his eyes stopped at a spot not too far from the girl.

The boy that made her uncomfortable was chosen with a smile. The girls squealed in adoration and jealousy. As the boy made his way up, he spotted her and gave her a wink, making her back away even further. Some of the girls thought that it was directed towards them, so they just cheered.

The other members laughed and picked at their hyung before going forward. The girl that first pushed her was picked as well as a few other girls. It was finally down to the youngest, the maknae. He went and jumped off stage, which surprised the Angels. He walked forward, but purposefully. She watched him with wary eyes as he made his way closer to her. She looked around, hoping that he was going to choose someone else, but he just came closer. A girl stood before her as he came closer, but he motioned for her to move. He stood before her. He was shorter than him, but he looked her straight in the eye.

“You, Daniel,” he said. Almost as if her trance had been broken, she turned and ran away. The boy tried to catch her wrist, but it just slipped through his fingers. He ran after her, much to the dismay of the other Angels.

She was fast, much faster than him. She ran around the building to the front, but when she saw him still after her, she just went faster. People looked after them in confusion as they ran past.  She turned a corner and wanted to go down an alley to get rid of him, but she landed incorrectly in her heels. She fell with a twist of an ankle. She made to get back up, but the boy came and held her shoulders.

“Daniel!” He called out. She tried to pull away, but he just pulled her close. He kneeled down onto the ground and pulled her to his chest.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Changjo,” the girl tried to say.

“I know it’s you Niel!” He yelled. He held her close and let his tears fall.  “Why did you leave us?  Why did you leave me?” She, Niel, Daniel, didn’t know what to do, so he just hugged him back and cried as well. “I love you,” said Changjo. “I love you. I love you. I love you.” Niel just held him tighter.

“I know,” he said. Changjo just held him tighter and mumbled something incoherent, but Niel guessed that he was asking why he left again. “It’s because I love you too.”  The force of the embrace only increased.

“Don’t leave me again,” said Changjo. Niel didn’t answer. Changjo pulled back to look at Niel. “Please,” he pleaded. Niel shook his head.

“I can’t.” Changjo tightened his grip on his arms and looked him in the eyes, anger flaring.

“Why?” He wasn’t going to let Niel go, so Niel resigned.

“I already left. I left to protect you guys from being banned from anything once they found out we were gay.” Changjo scrunched his eyebrows together.

“There already are gay celebrities,” he argued.

“But not any gay couples.” They stared at each other, eyes locked and neither wavering. “My father is a pastor. We were idols. We were reckless. It wasn’t time yet.”

“Then I’ll run away with you.” Niel shook his head, but before he could argue, Changjo pulled him in. Their lips clashed, and even though Niel wanted to pull away, he couldn’t. He pulled Changjo closer and let his frustration out while Changjo did the same. Emotions traveled through their lips and tongues. It was just luck that that Niel tripped in the middle of a deserted alleyway, hidden from view. “I can’t be without you.” Changjo let his hands travel to Niel’s sides, and grimaced at how thin Niel has gotten. He has always been a thin boy, but this was beyond what he was before.

“I can’t come back now.” Changjo pulled back and kissed his eyes, his nose, his cheeks, his lips.

“They miss you. We all miss you. You don’t have to rejoin us on stage yet, but please come back to us.” Changjo buried his head into Niel’s neck and just stayed there. “I saw you as soon as you came in. Even if you try to hide, I’ll find you.”

Niel wrapped his arms even tighter around Changjo as he sighed in defeat. He knew that Changjo will drag him back. He could feel that his ankle has become swollen, so he couldn’t even try to run anymore. He nodded his head. Changjo held him tighter before standing up and carrying him out. Niel buried his head in his shoulder to avoid the gazes, but smiled when he was met with the familiar scent.

“I’m surprised you don’t want me to put you down,” he said. Niel didn’t answer. He didn’t want him to worry, so he just stayed silent. “Promise me something?”

“Hm?”

“Stay with me forever.” Changjo held his breath, and Niel could feel his heartbeat beating erratically, but he held off for a moment before nodding.

“Forever.”