Song : The Real Reason Why We Broke Up

Artist : Younha

I had a bad dream that I fell for you who came back to me once again

***

"Let's break up," Heeyoung said, right after she took a deep breath.

"What?!" Yongguk hissed. "You aren't joking, right? Don't play around," Yongguk smiled bitterly. His expression like he was begging to Heeyoung to take back everything that she said. 

Heeyoung took another deep breath and stared into Yongguk's eyes, "Let's break up." She simply said and took her belongings, leaving Yongguk fume in anger. Alone, in the cafe where they had their very first date. She was just simply scared that if Yongguk begged even more, she would eventually give up and take back everything that she said.

As Heeyoung made her way out from the cafe, tears started to fall. It wasn't the way she wanted her relation with Yongguk to be. She had thought Yongguk was her eternal love, he would be the one who would be with her until the death of her. However, she was just wrong.

Step by step, Heeyoung went further away from the cafe. Her tears started to fell from her eyes. It was just the pain that's unbearable. She didn't know the break up would be this hurt. When she was with Yongguk, her heart wasn't fluttering anymore. The way he made her heart fluttering - oh how she missed it.

Tears started blurring her eyes and she started to sob loudly. She didn't really care if people were looking at her like she's weird, she just couldn't bear the pain. Her heart - it was stinging even though she was the one who wanted to break up. It felt like her heart had been pinched.

***

Heeyoung entered her apartment, really tired. Her eyes were red and puffy, swollen and looked so restless. She threw her heels away, didn't care if they would be scratched or broken. She didn't really care anymore.

She walked toward her couch, just throwing herself onto it. Restlessly, she looked up at the white ceiling, staring it. Her hand, unconsciously, was raised. Her palm was opened, but then closed like she was going to grab something that's not real.

And once again, she broke into another round of tears.

She didn't know how long she would be like this. She too, she's really tired. She wanted to cry as long as she could and then stopped, not going to cry anymore. However, she just couldn't.

She slowly stopped crying. Even though she's sobbing softly, at least she thought she's more ready than before. She slowly took her phone from her pocket, unlocked it and went to the gallery. She saw a folder that was filled with her photos and Yongguk. Biting her lower lip, she opened it.

Her hands were shaking, lips were trembling as she tried as hard as she could to not break into another tears. She looked at each photo carefully, before deleting it one by one. She knew that she would never forget those memories that she made together with Yongguk, but deleting his photos would help her to lessen her pain.

Yongguk likes ramen. Yongguk likes to compose music, especially hip hop. Yongguk is smart. Yongguk is nice. Yongguk is patient. Yongguk is - it's just too many. As Heeyoung realized, the more she knew about Yongguk, the further he went away from her. From her heart, from her grasp. Until the second that she realized that Yongguk wasn't in front of her again.

And the second when Heeyoung realized Yongguk was out from her heart, for months, she tried really hard to grasp Yongguk again. She tried really hard to make a place on her heart only for Yongguk. However, it seemed like her heart already denied Yongguk. She didn't know why, maybe because there's no love between them. Not anymore. Their relationship became tiring and boring, eventhough maybe both never realized it.

The last photo. The picture was taken together with Yongguk's friends. They were all looked very happy, with Yongguk's hand around Heeyoung's waist. It's taken around one or two years ago. Heeyoung wanted to save it, but she only smiled bitterly. She slowly brought her index finger closer to the trash icon, going to delete the photo even though she didn't want to.

Just merely one more milimeter, she's just close to deleting the photo. However, it seemed like fate wanted to say another thing.

Her phone suddenly rang. Someone just called her. To her dismay, it's Yongguk, her Yongguk. No, he's not hers anymore.

Battling for seconds, whether to answer him or not, she decided to just answer. Afterall, she wanted to know if Yongguk cared about the reason why they broke up.

"Heeyoung, you're just joking, right? Tell me you love me, tell me..." Yongguk begged on the other line. Heeyoung bit her lower lip. A tear fell from her eyes, more tears were following up. Her lips were trembling once more time and she sniffed.

"Do you know why we broke up? I wonder if you know, even though you don't care."

"Heeyoung, what-"

Heeyoung took a sharp breath, trying to sound normal. However, it's just an epic fail. "We're different, if you didn't realize it, but now I tell you - we're different. I always dream of an eternal love, loving you forever - you on the other hand, always dream of a new love."

"I'm sorry then, Heeyoung..."

"You never loved me, it's clear now."

"No, I-"

"Cut it, Yongguk. Don't come back and beg me to take back what I've said before. I'm just scared that I'll just accept you again, you who come back whenever you want," Heeyoung ended the call.

The screen came back to the last photo of her and Yongguk, together with his friends. Without any second, she deleted the photo and the folder became empty. Just like their relationship that they went through - it's just empty, no love was there. And she threw her phone on her carpet, just like how she threw all of those photos.

***