Kyungsoo grips tightly to his leather bag straps as the car stops at the front of his new school. It's the beginning of a new semester as Kyungsoo has a lot to catch up as a new transferred student.

"Kyungsoo, make many friends okay?"

"Keep your head up and stand up straight, okay? Don't hunch your shoulder like that too"

"Nobody wants to be friends with quiet person like you, so from today onwards, start voicing out your opinions, okay?"

Kyungsoo noted all his parents's supportive yet hurtful words and recalls with succumbed morose. As he walks in entering the hallway, he can hear animated whispers of his arrival and how comments are brutally thrown at him despite their lack of confidence to come straight and talk to him. Kyungsoo walks still with his chin faced forward and shoulders pulled backward because nobody wants to be friends with a person who lacks on confidence.

I can hide this insecurities inside. I can bury it, and no one will see. I will make friends and everything is going to be okay. Kyungsoo feels the need to cry because he never feels this pathetic and desperate to change so he can live up to his parents's expectation. But Kyungsoo's hope falters when a bunch of upper-classmens approach him. He tries to be as polite as possible, but it takes someone to stand up for him so he can be saved.

I can't stand up for myself, I'm useless.

His hero named Kim Jongin becomes his friend. He is not his only friend, he still have Chanyeol, Yoona, Baekhyun, and Yixing, but Kai is the only person he can only deeply attached too. Chanyeol and Yoona is like a gumball of sunshine. They possess such a vibrant aura that instantly makes you feel that your existence is not a waste. They make your life a little bit better than yesterday. Both try to absorb Kyungsoo's void in their embrace full of light, but none can fill Kyungsoo's empty, hollow core. As for Yixing, he's plain broken. No, beautifully broken for Kyungsoo's heartfelt and poetic heart to accept. Yixing is special. He is a part of the jocks in their class, but he's broken. Deeply inside, he is a rotten rose. Beautifully flawed, he still manages a perfectly well-sculpted shell to protect himself from anyone.

As for Kai, he is decent. He is neither broken or perfect, but he manages to live just fine. One day though, Kai tells Kyungsoo a secret that changes the shades of Kai in his eyes. Kai seems a little more fragile than himself and he feels the need to protect this younger brother of his.

We are just a circle of life with broken edges and two gumballs of life that supplies our existence.

Day by day, Kyungsoo becomes more and more broken. He stops using short-sleeves t-shirt and begin to wear jackets more often. Yoona notice, but she doesn't want to touch Kyungsoo's wounds and graze her nails across the burnt. Kai sees that something's gone off on Kyungsoo and he has tried to talk, but Kyungsoo is just too persistent.

"Hyung, is there something wrong?"

"No, no. Parents are just being mean for some quite of time"

"But hyung, you know that's for your own good, right?"

"You will not understand, Kai. It's complicated"

Kai will never understand. I'm the one who is going through this, nobody will understand.

Yoona knows that Kyungsoo do etch his pain in his skin with a long graze of blade. Yoona tries to share her light with him but butterflies don't last long and they die early. Beautiful things don't last long, and Yoona's plan backfires to herself because Kyungsoo knows Yoona is as depressed as he is behind those vivid facade. He knows Yoona has a tattoo on the left side of her back in a shape of archangel's left wing. Yoona doesn't want Chanyeol or Kai to know that, and Kyungsoo doesn't want any of them know about his secret either.

"He is so precious to me, I don't want him to know how deeply flawed I am. I'm sorry Kyungsoo, I still can save you. And please"

"Yoona, I'm trying. But please, Yoona. Don't do anything reckless"A hug Kyungsoo gives may not engulf Yoona in light as she supposes to be, but it is able to give her warmth as she stands motionless, arms around Kyungsoo's broad shoulders.

"I just want you to live, Kyungsoo"

", Yoona. Why are you doing this, damn it! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you so ing much I told you not to do this, and you still do it"it's the first time Jongin hear his hyung spitting profanities in such frustration but who won't when such a beautiful existence is vanishing.

It was a good day for five of them until Yoona fell to the ground. A police was about to shoot an outlaw, but instead missed his target and hit Yoona instead. It was a shot in the chest. It was supposed to hit Kyungsoo but Yoona instead jumped infront of him.

"Yoona, please. Stay with us, the ambulance is about to arrive. Please, please stay with us"Chanyeol chants in a thick voice as droplets of agony brims in his sockets.

Yixing, is trying hard to stop the blood by using the handkerchief he carried around and presses it to her wound to stop the bleeding.

"No. Please let me go"she manages a beautiful smile with twitching eyes afraid to be closed.

Kai can only watch because he doesn't know how to face dying people. Not even his friend. The least he can do is to give Chanyeol his time to talk to her, after all he is the closest to her.

"What do you mean? Don't mess with me, Yoona. I can hate you forever for this"he chokes on his tears as he holds Yoona's face, facing his.

"Please. I'm bad. I have been keeping a secret all this time"

Chanyeol's teary eyes round and Yoona touches her back. Then turning to Kyungsoo, shaking, she places her cold hands on his/ cheek.

"I saved you, Kyungsoo"and she smiled, again.

Then Kai is surprised to see Yoona still smiling up to him."Keep Kyungsoo safe, Jongin. Replace me"

Holding Yixing's hand still trying to stop the blood, she shakes her head. "Goodbye, Yixing. Let me go"

None of them let her go, but she goes all alone by herself. She's such a beautiful soul but she got to die alone all by herself. It's heart-wrenching but Kyungsoo can no longer feel a rush of energy as he brushes through Yoona's brown tresses.

"From today onwards, I will write for you. I will write everything for you. I will write for you today, and I will write for you tomorrow and the day after that, until the day I die. Because I love you with all my heart, I love you from the deepest part of my hollow soul, and I love you with every bits of existence of you that is left for me to keep. I love you as a friend who cannot be forgotten and I still wish you would have left a bit late, because I have missed you."Yoona's wish to be written on Kyungsoo's future books has been granted. Not.

"Chanyeol, the thing Yoona is trying to talk to you about, at that day......she has-had a tattoo"

"What do you mean by a tattoo, she wou-

"Yoona touched her back because the tattoo is on her back. It's on the left; in the shape of archangel's wings"

Chanyeol in spite Kyungsoo's truthful confession, finds himself difficult to trust that. But he remains silent, redeeming about Yoona and all of her shades that he had known for the longest time. He didn't know her at all.

"But she is protecting you from the truth. She built such a beautiful world for you two to live in that she wanted to keep you from the dark. She knew if you know this, that world will be shattered and the only thing keeping her here will be tarnished. She doesn't want you to be like her"

But by the end of Yoona's salvation for Kyungsoo, her death triggers Kyungsoo so much. It triggers him so ing much that Kyungsoo thinks Yoona should not have save him.

"I'm sorry I'm not perfect" Kyungsoo can't protect Kai forever because his forever is limited by pressures and razor blades. And his strength has found its limit. Everybody has that certain amount of time when they just decided "This is it. I have enough of this life and I'm ready to let all of this go".

Kyungsoo's existence falters when he decides to fall gracefully from the top of his school building, out of all reckless decisions he has to make. Because this is it. This is Kyungsoo's last show as a human being that exists but barely living.

"My story ends here. Goodbye Xing, Yeol and especially you, Jongin. My hearts goes on for you. And Yoona. I'm sorry that you can't save me this time. I'm not perfect, and I can't keep my promise"