The first day of school already ended for me, I got to see my friends from middle school and meet more people. I said bye to my friends and started walking out of the gate. I have basketball, so I can leave early right after fourth period.  The sun was shining bright, the sky was clear, and the clouds were floating across the sky. It was a steep hill, I was panting when I was halfway up the hill and a guy passed me. He was around 5’7, he had black hair, and slanty eyes. (A/N Slanty eyes hahaha. Now back to the story)

We reached the top of the hill and stopped because we both had to cross the street. He pushed the button and we waited. Sweat rolled down my neck, I wiped it away quickly. I noticed that no one was there, only the guy and I. The light turned green so I stepped down from the sidewalk onto the paved road. I passed him, he seemed tired, zoned out. But once I walked past him, I heard his footsteps, close behind me. Before I got to the other side of the street, he already passed me.  

Every Tuesday and Thursday, I look forward to walking home. I get to see— him. I knew he wasn’t a freshman like me, I had a feeling he was in his third year of high school. Every time I see him, I always wanted to talk to him, but I never had the courage to introduce myself. Since he was an upperclassman, I thought he wouldn’t want to talk to someone younger, especially a freshman.  

I slowly started to get more attracted to him day by day. Occasionally, he would walk to school in the morning. He was a quiet kid, not the type that likes attention. He would be with his friends during lunch, or listening to music, or sometimes both. I eat with my friends and keep quiet.

I was eating lunch and looked behind me. He was there, smiling and laughing. It was cute seeing him smile, his smile reminded me of someone else’s smile which I kind of missed. Back when I was in 6^th grade, I started developing feelings for this one guy. He was an outgoing guy, funny, and nice. I thought of him as a classmate at first but when he introduced himself to me, he changed me. From being that quiet kid, to a girl who can talk to anyone. We would hang out and eventually got closer. I got the courage and confessed to him one day. He rejected me kindly, still treated me the same as if I never confessed and I was really thankful for that.

One night, my friend came over for a sleep over and I let her use my phone. She told me she would be playing games but I found out later she was texting him, Lee Howon. I figured out it was her who ruined it when I went to school the next day. Hoya wouldn’t look at me, he ignored me and glared. I didn’t know why he was like that at first, so I assumed it was part of an act.

“Hey… You okay?” I asked, concerned. He looked at me and scoffed.

“Shut the up.”  He growled, I took it as a joke and lightly hit his arm. “Don’t touch me, you fat .” I pulled my hand away and looked at him, shocked to hear him say that.

“You okay?” I laughed worriedly.

“No. You’re here.” He said, and left. I knew something happened but I didn’t know what I exactly did. I looked through the notes we passed, nothing was wrong there. I checked my messages to see if anything was said and I found it. It started with—

                                                                                                                        To: Lee Howon

                                                                                                            -You’re en annoying

                                                                                    -You at dancing, you can’t dance for life

From: Lee Howon

-What are you talking about? Haha

                                                                                                                        To: Lee Howon

                                                                                                                                    -STFU

From: Lee Howon

-You texted me first…

                                                                                                                        To: Lee Howon

                                                            -Do I care?  Oh, hey… Did you know that you’re gay?

From: Lee Howon

-So funny lol

                                                                                                                        To: Lee Howon

                                                                                                -Do you not understand? I don’t like you

From: Lee Howon

-You’re starting to piss me off now

                                                                                                                        To: Lee Howon

                                                                                                            -That was my intention, Hoya

From: Lee Howon

-Why?

                                                                                                                        To: Lee Howon

                              -I hate you

From: Lee Howon

-You told me you liked me. Low

                                                                                                                                    To: Lee Howon

                                                                                   -Who said I ever liked you? Don’t make things up

From: Lee Howon

-You told me yourself, .

Stop texting me. I don’t even know why I’m replying to you. Shut up man guy

                                                                                                                                  To: Lee Howon

                                                                                                          -I will annoy the great Howon!

                                                                                                                                                -Hoya

                                                                                                                                                -Hoya

                                                                                                                                           -HOWON

                                                                                                                                        -HOWONN

I looked up and wanted to look for Hoya. I know why he was like that in a sense. I understand why he would be like that. I got up from my seat and started looking around. I went outside and saw him leaning against the tree, listening to music. I got closer and crouched down, trying to make eye contact with him.

“Hoya… Can I talk to you?” He got up and glared at me but turned around to say one thing.

“Sure… off.” He muttered and left me standing there, looking stupid as ever. I decided not to like anyone after that day. I didn’t want to feel that way again but I found myself falling for a guy again. I also decided not to be outgoing anymore, I was once again the quiet, wallflower.

I went home that night, and went on Facebook to try to find ‘him’. Through mutual friends, I found him. There he was, Park Jun. I thought about sending him a friend request or not, until I sent it to him, unconsciously. I got nervous and honestly didn’t know what to do at that time so I left it alone. I was too nervous about him accepting my friend request or not, so I put my phone down on the bed side table and fell asleep. The next morning, I checked Facebook, I received a notification.

Park Jun accepted your friend request. Write on Jun’s timeline.

I started to smile. I was— happy. He accepted my friend request. I giggled to myself, I hurried and texted my close friend, RiHyuk, whom I always go to her for advices.

                                                                                                                        To: Lee RiHyuk

                                                                        “DUDE!! HE ACCEPTED MY FRIEND REQUEST!”

From: Lee RiHyuk

“Who…?”

                                                                                                                        To: Lee RiHyuk

                                                “You know! That senior guy ;) Should I send a message to the guy… you know. The guy ;)”

From: Lee RiHyuk

“YES. Go for it!”

                                                                                                                        To: Lee RiHyuk

                                    “Okay~ Imma do that right now. I’ll text you later and tell you if he replies.” 

I opened up the Facebook app and looked through my messages. I inhaled and exhaled deeply, clicking on Jun’s name to send him a message. ‘Hi’It was a simple message. I sent it and looked at it, reading the word ‘hi’ over and over again.

I left the house, and was on my way to school. When I saw him again, we made quick eye contact and started walking down the hill. I was almost going to tap his shoulder but decided not to and walked behind him quietly. I was about 10 feet behind him when he tripped on beans. He slid on the beans from the tree that stood above him and fell down. He caught himself with his arms.  I was in shock, I was about to help him but he stood up on his own, falling again close to the bush. I giggled. It was funny, but it was cute too. I found his clumsiness adorable. I was on my way to help him but he got up swiftly and pretended he never fell. I had a feeling he was embarrassed, but I wish he let me help him. I wanted a chance to talk to him but I never took a chance. I got home that day and got a reply. After that reply, we talked to each other through Facebook a couple times and that was about it.   

I never physically talked to him and the end of the year was approaching. There was this one time where I saw Jun at Town Center. I was hanging out with RiHyuk, and we were walking in the parking lot. A white car pulled up, parking next to us. I looked in to see who it was, it’s just natural to see who pulls up near you right?  To my surprise, it was Jun and his friend, Rasa, who was in my math class. I stared at Jun, shocked and he was too. His mouth was hanging open, obviously surprised to see me here. I looked over to Rasa, and he was looking at me too. I gave them both a meek smile before walking away quickly.

I felt my cheeks get red and looked at RiHyuk. “Dude, that was him. It was Jun.. and the other guy, Rasa, he is in my math class. Ahh~” I squealed.

“Okay~ You’re making it obvious.” She giggled. “Calm down.” She chuckled, “Look, you’re blushing!” I shook my head.

“N-no, I’m not” I looked over to where the car was.

“You want to see him again, huh?” She smirked. I nodded sheepishly. “Well, that’s too bad!” I pouted.

“You’re not being nice to me~” I whined.

“If you go back there, he’s gonna think you’re a creep.” She mentioned. I nodded.

“True, true but still.” The two guys started walking toward us, we were standing in front of the door of the ice cream shop.

“Excuse us.” Rasa said, looking at me. I bowed, since he is older.

“Sorry.” I looked over at Jun and he pursed his lips together.

“Thanks.” Rasa said. They entered the shop. We were standing in front of it looking confused.

“Do you wanna get ice cream? We kinda look stupid.. because of SOMEONE!” RiHyuk teased. I nodded and giggled.

“My bad, my bad. I’ll pay, okay?” I offered. She nodded eagerly.

“I want Java Chip!” I chuckled. I stood in line behind them, looking at Jun for a second and back at RiHyuk. I waved my hand for her to come.

“You have to stand in line with  me.” I whispered. Rasa and Jun ordered and got their sweet treats. They sat down nearby. “Hi, ermm.. Can I get two java chips please?” I ordered.

“Sure, that will be— $4.57.”  I handed her the money and took the ice cream. I thanked her and handed RiHyuk one of the ice cream that were in my hand.

“Pick a place to sit.” I said. “Okay, wait never mind. Let’s go outside and eat.” I felt awkward if I was in the same place as Jun. We left the shop, walking to the park that was nearby. Time flies by so fast. Next week is the last week of school. “Hey, RiHyuk…. You know Jun, the guy we saw earlier?” I asked.

“Yeah… What about him?” She asked.

“Should… I ask him to sign my yearbook next week? Or would it be weird to.”

“GO FOR IT!” She screamed. “Dude, you do not want to regret anything. He is a senior and it’s his last year. He won’t be here next year so you gotta ask him.”

“Okay… I. I’ll do it. I’ll ask him” I giggled.

The week went by so fast, today was Wednesday, I got my yearbook after school. I looked through the yearbook while I was waiting for my ride and I saw Jun’s picture. He had a nice smile, it looked like Lay’s smile. If you cover the eyes and nose and leave the mouth, it look like Yixing’s smile. His senior quote was different too.

Park JunYoung

“I’m alright.”

I flipped through the page and looked at other pictures but eventually went back to his. “I’m alright.” It was something I said a lot too but never realized it until I thought about it. I decided, tomorrow during lunch, I will go up to him and ask him to sign my yearbook. Thursday will be the last day to see him because the seniors don’t have finals and since they start on Friday, Thursday is the only day I can ask.

During lunch, I was extremely nervous. I was so nervous, that my food didn’t taste good anymore. I wasn’t able to concentrate during class for math, all I was doing was thinking about it. *What if he doesn’t want to sign it? What if I stutter in front of him?* All these questions popped up in my head. I sat down with my friends and looked over to where he sat. He’s not there yet. I looked around and saw him walking with Rasa. I pursed my lips together and started eating.

The food wasn’t good anymore. I looked at the food and closed the container. I took a deep breath in and breathed out. I got my yearbook in my hand and felt the pen that was in my pocket. I patted my because there was dead grass stuck to my pants. I took one step foreword, heading in his direction. I thought of sitting back down but I didn’t want to regret it. So I bravely walked to him, in front of his friends. He was talking to Rasa, I stood there for a moment and tapped his arm.

“Hey… Umm. Can you sign my yearbook?” I asked, holding out my yearbook.

“Oh, hey. Sure.” He replied. He looked around, “Do you have a pen?” he asked. I reached down my pocket to get the pen and gave it to him. “Thanks.” He said. He took the yearbook and tried opening the pen cap. It took him a while, he was flustered by it. Once he finally got it to open, he crouched down starting to write in my yearbook. It took him a couple minutes to write it, he got back up and smiled. “Here.” He handed me the yearbook and gave me back my pen.

“Thanks.” I smiled at him and walked back away quickly, smiling. *I did it!* I thought. I was thankful once I got back to my friends, so I don’t have to be all nervous anymore. His voice was deep and low, his hands were soft. I looked behind me, back to where he eats but he wasn’t there anymore. *He must’ve gotten a ride* I thought. I smiled, satisfied. I looked in my yearbook where he signed it.

His handwriting was sloppy like a first graders’ writing but it was cute. I giggled to myself.

So we met on Facebook, but we didn’t end up talking much anyways. But good luck to you though.

My freshman year was something that happened 15 years ago. I found myself a husband in the years since. I’m happy. My husband, YongGuk, is a good guy, we met in college. We met in the library, and he caught my eyes. I didn’t want to lose the opportunity like I did with Jun so I went up to him. We talked more and became friends. From there we got in a relationship and before I knew it, we were married. 

I drove past the girl and went to work. If I see her again, I might just tell her to listen to a song.

I regret not talking to him when I had the chance to. But I’m glad I met YongGuk. If anything, you need to remember that you only have once chance. When you have a chance, take that opportunity to turn it into something great. I wonder how Jun’s doing now. Is he doing well? Is he eating well? How is he? Is he alright? I am… I’m alright.

Jun, I’m alright. I hope you are too.

Watch the video!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-RvjDIyNG0

An English remix of the good song called “One Shot” by B.A.P  I’m sure most of you guys know this song but listen to the English remix by Chad Future! 

How was it?? I know it's not interesting and all but this is something that happened. I regret not talking to him so when you guys have the chance you guys gotta go for it. 

oh... and the reason why Jun was the main guy is because they have the same first name xDD I hope you guys liked "I'm Alright" Thank you for the subscribers! I was so surprised seeing that many subbies. Thank you! Comment if you wish.