*Daiki Arioka POV*

“Oi… Dai-chan!! Don’t stare at her too much… she’ll melt…”

 
Chinen whispered teasingly and then patted my shoulder twice before going to his actual seat.
By this, I just frowned at him and stared again to the girl who just entered the room.

 
There she is… Amu Kitagawa.

 
Her entrance to our room definitely gained my attention. I don’t know what’s with her but she seems to attract all the rays of sunshine bouncing through the transparent window in our room. Her dark coloured eyes were drawn by her friends but the sight of her smiling and laughing away makes me look at her even more.

 
Our classroom is one of the gloomiest places you can find at school since it is in the oldest building, but I swear the whole room lit up unexpectedly when she entered.
 

As I saw her figure becoming closer to mine, I felt a sudden sensation that made my heart beat race like I never imagined. I just heard my heart pounding and rebelling against the sound of my classmates chattering away and minding their own business.
 

Then, I saw her fix her dark coloured hair against the breeze coming from the windows which made me realise how lucky I was to just know her.
 

**

 
At this moment, I reached out for my red notebook. This is where all my feelings go. From the first time I realised I was captivated by her presence, until now, all the things I want to say to her are just locked in this small notebook which is intended to be cherished forever.

 
I just know I’m too afraid to tell her how I feel. Too afraid in fact, I don’t want to lose what we have now.
 

 
I took my pen and started to write about my thoughts. You can say this notebook is my diary. Quite girlish, right? But all this notebook contains is my hidden feelings I’m too afraid to reach her.
 
However…

 
“What are you writing?”

 
Unexpectedly, she leaned closer to see what I’m doing. I looked up and saw her face only a few inches away from mine. Without really thinking, I immediately closed the notebook and hid it below my desk and then cleared my throat, giving me time to think of an answer.
“Ahh… nothing…”
 

By this remark, I then saw her frown at me and made her way to the second seat from the back, next to the window… Yes! right next to me.
 

Taiyou ga mabushikute, mainichi ga tokimeiteta
The sun was bright, every day my heart was pounding

Kimi ga suki na kimochi dake wo kaban ni ire
I just put the feelings of liking you into my bag

kyousu no mado gawa no ushiro kara niban me no seki
The second seat from the back next to the window

kimi no tonari boku no ibasho yume no arika
Next to you, that was my place, the whereabouts of dreams
 


It’s now break time and all I can feel is my back being stuck to my chair. I can’t seem to move as I saw Amu talking to one of the coolest boys at school.
 

I actually heard a rumour that Amu had a crush on Jesse but looking at them chattering away and clearly enjoying each other’s gestures made me realise how jealous I was in this scene. I hope I can face her like that.
 

I then saw Jesse rub Amu’s cheek as if removing something from it. The smile of Amu after that movement just made my heart sink a few meters down my chest.


What is happening to me? All I want to do is grab her hand and make our way out of here. Out of this room, away from Jesse, away from the world… just the two of us.
 
*

Yet, I felt my heart skip a beat when Amu met my eyes. By this, I quickly turned away avoiding any misunderstanding. All I can do now is feel miserable and keep all my feeling tucked away in my notebook.

 
I then took a deep breath and stared at the nearest window next to me. I want all my thoughts and desires out of my chest but I know I can’t do that until I know how she feels about me. This time, I’m alone…

 
inatsuma to shinkirou mukai ai tanoshige ni yatsu to
With that guy who happily went up and faced you

oshaberi eta
You chatted with him

hageshii jerashi, kurushii koishii
Awful jealousy, harsh yearnings

mune no oku no itami douara ii?
What should I do about the pain in my heart?

sono te wo tsukami hashiri daai
I want to grab your hand and run away

koutei wo kakenuke
To run out of the school building
 

 
“Why don’t you just tell her what you feel directly?”
 
I heard Chinen say with a slight annoyed tone of voice.
By this, I just remained silent and looked at his face like I heard nothing.
 

“Oi!!! Are you listening to me?” he tried to regain my attention and pinched my left cheek quite painfully.

 
“Itaiiii… I am!!! You said that a 100 times to me already… I just can’t do it.” I replied and pushed away his hand still capturing part of my cheek.

 
“Why not? Just confess already!!!”

 
By this remark, I just sighed heavily and looked down. I know what Chinen is saying is right. I have to tell her. I need to tell her before my chest burst out of its misery. But I can’t. I just can’t… not through words and not even by mail.

 
I have about a thousand love letters written in my notebook but I just don’t have the courage to tell her.
 
“I can’t Chii… I’m too afraid.”

 
“Afraid? You know just watching her during lessons and leaving her as your friend is not enough, right?” Chinen replied and patted my back a few times like comforting me “You just have to make your move soon Dai-chan… Or else, she’ll be taken away”

 
Chinen don’t usually give advices. But when he does, it goes straight to the heart. By this, I decided to make my move…

 
kotoba jya ienai, mail jya ienai
I can’t say it in words; I can’t say it by mail

jyugyouchuu no yokogao jya tarinai
Just watching you during lessons isn’t enough

tomodachi jya mou irarenai
I can’t leave it with us as just friends

mai oritekita My Angel
you have flown down, My Angel
 

 
“Amu-chan… I- I have something to ask you…” I felt my voice trembling when I finally got the courage to ask for her time tonight.
 
“Hai… What is it?” she replied and pulled a half smile before me.
 
“Ca- can you meet—“

 
“Amu-chan, are you free later?”

 
Before even finishing my sentence, Jesse came out of nowhere and blocked my view of Amu. I know he didn’t intend to do it on purpose. Maybe he didn’t notice me talking to her. But still… I felt quite relieved yet quite disappointed by what happened. I still feel nervous to tell her but at the same time, the way Jesse blocked me made me feel useless in her sight.

 
I was about to go and let them continue conversing. However, I felt a slight pull in my right sleeve.
I then looked behind to see who was pulling it but to my surprise, it was Amu-chan.
 

“Dai-chan… where are you going? I thought you’re gonna ask me something?” she said with quite disappointing eyes still holding on to my sleeve. By this, I felt a sudden feeling that she wants me to stay.
 

I then turned my stare to Jesse who was still standing a few meters away from us.
 

“Sorry Jesse-kun… Dai-chan wants to talk to me first. I’ll talk to you later ne?” I heard Amu say to Jesse and turned again to my direction.
 
**
 

“What is it?” she asked after we realised we were alone.
 
By this, I gulped a few times before answering. I just felt my throat being so dry after seeing her dark coloured eyes half covered by her fringe looking directly at me. Then, I looked down and started speaking…

 
“Can- can you meet me later after school? I just want to tell you something important…”

 
I then waited for her to answer. I swear I heard my brain even thumping and rebelling out of my skull that I know is too scared yet too excited to know her answer.

 
“Sure… I’ll meet you here ne?”

 
Then… time stopped.
 
 
houkago ni yobi daa kousha ura machiawaseta
I asked you to meet me after school behind the school

tanoshii dake no aimai na hibi kyou de sotsugyou
Today I’ll graduate from these simply fun, ambiguous days
 
 
I’m here again; the same place where I first met her… up in the rooftop where it all started.

 
I saw her crying that night, up in this same roof top. I was too afraid to approach her at first but something inside me was pushing my body towards her figure.
I remember tapping her head and offered her my handkerchief. I’m not really good at making people feel better but for some reason, I felt my sense of importance when I offered her my comfort.

 
“Arigatou…” she smiled at me and took my white hanker-chief even though I know she’s still upset.

 
“Are you okay now?” I asked.

 
She wiped a few tears in her eyes and didn’t answer. I don’t really expect much from her that time, but I just sensed that she needed company. By then, I silently sat next to her and looked at the grey skies above us.

 
“Anou… can I ask you a favour?” she said quietly… “Can I cry on your shoulder?”

 
By this, I remained quiet. Without my approval, she immediately sobbed like a baby on my shoulder. I felt her forehead leaning against my shoulder and even though I don’t know what happened to her that day, it was the very first time someone broke their feelings to me. I felt so strong after seeing myself consoling her. Although we’re complete strangers of each other that time, she trusted me… by this; I decided to protect her… forever.
 

**
 


“Sorry to keep you waiting…” I heard someone say while panting heavily, running towards my direction… “I was being harassed by Rio-chan and the others earlier since I told them I’m meeting you… Gomen ne?”
 
Within this explanation, I just nodded my head slowly and looked at her. She still looks exactly the same like when I first met her. Nothing changed… not even my feelings.

 
I remained silent for a while, still digging through my thoughts and how to say things to her. How should I start? How will she respond? What’s going to happen after this?
 

This time, I started panicking. Silence is still lingering through the air but I felt my legs numb after all the thinking. I stared at her but I saw her cheeks slightly red.
 

seijyaku to shinzouon
Silence and the sound of my heart

mitsume ai ugokenai boku to
We started at each other and I couldn’t move

hanikamu kimi to
You were shy

 
 
“Dai-chan… why did you want to meet me here, again?” she asked and took further steps towards my direction.
 
I didn’t think properly but the next thing I know is that, I started speaking.

 
“Amu… I- I like y—“
 
 
tamashii moyashi, itoshii koishii
my soul burns, lovely yearnings

mune ni himeta omoi zenbu misetai
I want to show you all the emotions hidden in my heart

subete wo ubai dokusen ai
Want to grab it all, monopolize it

Amu goto dakishime
embrace even the future
 


 *ring *ring *ring*

 

“Ahhh… please excuse me Dai-chan.”

 
Before finishing my confession, her phone immediately rang and she took the chance to answer it. What are the chances? Even God is against this idea of me confessing. Maybe, I should give up…

 
“Moshi, moshi? Honey?”

 
I heard her say through piece...
 
Honey?
 
By this, I felt a slight ache in my heart. Who is she talking to? Jesse?

 
I continued to eavesdrop to their conversation but I couldn’t hear the voice of the person on the other end. However, Amu smiled to herself and said the most painful thing…
“Okay… I’ll see you later ne? Hai hai… I love you too…”

 
I remained silent yet furious. I’m not mad at her or anything but I’m mad at myself. Mad because I can’t forgive myself for believing I had a chance; a chance that we could be more than friends. But now, everything just came to an end.

 
“Sorry about that… What were you saying again?” I heard her say after she put back her phone in her skirt pocket.

 
I then looked down and remained silent for a good few seconds.

 
“Nothing… just forget about it!!” I replied in almost a shout and then run my way towards the door away from her presence.

 
I ran as fast as I could until I know she’s not going to catch up with me. I pulled my red notebook out of my bag and look through every pages of it. Then, I suddenly felt my tears continuously flowing through my cheeks, wetting the love letter that is scribbled in my notebook. I don’t know what to feel now. But all I want to do is be alone and hope that the world would just stop revolving.


 
hohoemi yureta, namida de nureta
my smile shook, my tears fell

kyoukasho no rakugaki no rabu rettaa
wetting the love letter that scribbled in my textbook

tomodachi ni mou modorenai
we can’t go back to being just friends

kimi no toriko sa My Angel
I’m your prisoner, My Angel
 

 
I reminisced the times we were together. The smiles that she gave me every day in class gave me reasons to continue. Her laughter even gave me inspiration to gather all my strength to confess to her. But now, all of it will be gone…

 
“Dai-chan… are you crying?” I heard someone say.
 

By this, I immediately looked up to see who it was. However, I saw the person I want to see the least at this moment… Amu.

 
Her eyes were locked into mine but then, I immediately looked towards the opposite direction.

 
“Why are you here?” I asked coldly.

 
“I- I was worried about you… That’s why I followed…” she replied and then sat next to me. She then offered me her white handkerchief and smiled in my presence like I did exactly a few years ago.
 

“Do you remember when we first met?” she continued still offering her handkerchief… “You did the same thing, right? I want to return the favour…”
 

I just don’t know how to reply to those words. I was happy she remembered but still, I thought about how foolish I was to like her all these years.

 
“You don’t have to remember all that…” I coldly replied… “It’s not important to you anyway…” I hurriedly stood up and walk away again. By this time, I know I don’t want her to see me in this state.

 
“Chotto… Are you angry?”

 
After hearing this, I just walked rapidly without my normal pace and ignored her.

 
However, I heard footsteps following me…


 
“Wait Dai-chan… you dropped this…” I suddenly felt her grab my shirt, gasping for her breath. Then, I stopped for a while and looked at her blankly.
To my surprise, she was holding my red notebook with her name and letters scribbled on it.

 
I was about to grab the notebook out of her sight but the next thing I know is that she was already reading through slowly and holding its bind firmly as I can imagine.

 
By then, I just know I can’t do anything. I forced myself to run away but my legs don’t seem to cooperate.

 
“You- you like me?” she looked unto my direction and asked.
 

I know by now, I can’t deny the truth… I left a few moments of silence then I confessed:
 “Yes… I liked you ever since. I can’t tell you in words or even in mail… I just can’t keep this pain inside my chest anymore. It’s too much. Every time I see you, I want to grab your hand and make you mine. I was about to tell you today but- but…”
 
 

hageshii jerashi, kurushii koishii
Awful jealousy, harsh yearnings

mune no oku no itami douara ii
What should I do about the pain in my heart

sono te wo tsukami hashiri daai
I want to grab your hand and run away

koutei wo kakenuke
To run out of the school building

kotoba jya ienai, mail jya ienai
I can’t say it in words; I can’t say it by mail

 
“Why didn’t you tell me then? I was waiting for what you had to say but you just turned cold at me after I finished talking with my nephew…”
 
**
 
 
“Your nephew?”
 
“Hai… His name is Honey. He said he wanted to see me tonight…”
 

Her explanation just made me more embarrassed. Not even because I thought it was her boyfriend who just called, but for the fact that I became easily jealous and acted coldly at her. Then, I just can’t help but to remain still.

 
“Baka… Don’t tell me you’re jealous?” she gave off a soft chuckle and hugged me… “I’ll have a little confession to make…” she continued and took a deep breath before starting to speak.

 
“I like you too. Not in fact, I love you ever since we met. The time you offered me comfort a few years ago, I felt protected. I just thought: who am I to love someone like Daiki Arioka? Therefore, I remained so useless for not telling you how I feel. But now, I felt so blessed… Dai-chan, please be mine…”
 

 
After hearing these words, we broke our hug and looked at each other’s eyes. I am just so happy to hear those words coming from .
 

“I’ll protect you forever my angel…” I said quite softly and felt my lips drawn to hers.
 
**
 
“Now, I don’t need to write what I feel in this tiny notebook… your presence is all I need to pour out what’s in my heart…”
 
 

jyugyouchuu no yokogao jya tarinai
Just watching you during during lessons isn’t enough

tomodachi jya mou irarenai
I can’t leave it with us as just friends

mai oritekita My Angel
you have flown down, My Angel

---

A/N: Another cheesy fic.... GAAAAAHHH!! >/////< I don't know what's wrong with me... 

Amu-chaaaaan~ FORGIVE MEEEH!!! I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART!!! 

gomen neeee~ <3

please excuse everything~ hehe... I tried my best. T^T