Amber sat on the full sized bed in her room. Crowded around her on the baby blue sheets was a scrambled mess of different pictures in all types of sizes from every special moment in her life. Big ones here, small ones there, some square, others with all four sides clipped, and even ones that were cut into circles to make them look smaller. To the left of her were also three opened burgundy photo albums, her camera that took all of them, and her black laptop.

In these pictures that she was completely surrounded by were her and her other half smiling and hugging each other. Some were from holidays, others with them sharing kisses or cuddles on the red sofa in the living room or on Amber’s bed, ones with them making silly faces, and some that were just randomly taken when they hung out together. There were also some that were taken on their birthday. While they didn’t share one, they were five days a part and liked to celebrate it on the day that landed in the middle of that week after Amber’s official birthday and before Krystal’s own. Having so many of them, there were enough pictures for Amber to spend the rest of the rainy day doing nothing else but reminiscing on the memories that came along with the still images.

With all of these pictures put together, they made up five years of memories. Five years of sharing everything from their clothes to their emotions. Five long years that they had been together and believed they couldn’t live without the other. They had been friends for much longer than that, but everything changed the year they turned fifteen and the next chapter in their long story began. She remembered when they had first gotten together and the feeling that came with knowing that she belonged to someone, that they belonged to her, and that she could finally touch the person she wanted without the fear of rejection. In that moment it felt like her life couldn’t have been any better, and these pictures were proof of that, that nothing could go wrong and that they would last forever, but reality hit and that wasn’t true and was not what happened.

As her eyes scanned over the many pictures before her, Amber found the one that was taken when she had gained the courage to ask Krystal to be her girlfriend and picked it up. They were both smiling, but the blush on their faces and their attempts to hide their shy yet happy smiles could be seen when it was taken. Amber had shyly asked if she could take one since it was a joyous memory that she wanted to remember even when she forgot, but she never told Krystal that. Eventually several years passed, and what was only some pictures became a whole album until there was a total of three. With three albums she had enough memories to smile about and reminisce on and the warmth and sense of wholeness that came with them. But whenever she looked at them now, all she felt was heartbroken and the inability to hold back her tears.

Amber had constantly asked herself what she had done wrong. What was it that made Krystal leave? What was it that she said that made Krystal want to leave, or even think of ending what they had shared for so long? They had had their fair share of fights, every couple did, but they learned to get past it and grow stronger. So, how was it possible that Krystal ended up drifting away? She had tried for hours and weeks when it first happened, asking herself those questions over and over, desperately searching for the answer in hopes of setting what she did wrong right again. But no matter how many times she had tried to find the answer, she couldn’t. She could never remember picking up any signs that this would happen, but then again when you're in that state of mind everything seems good.

Shaking her head with closed eyes, Amber put the picture that started it all aside until she spotted another one of her favorites, the one where they had shared their first kiss – which almost led to their first time. She stared down at it and her mind drifted off again to that day, remembering the laughs and jokes they shared after being overcome with complete giddiness. While the relationship they had wasn’t their first, Amber had been with other girls and some guys, and Krystal with the same, everything felt like the first time to them. It was almost as if they were kids again discovering themselves and each other for the first time, despite the fact they were both in their early twenties. Every little kiss, every touch, every hug, felt like the line that was keeping them not only alive, but connected in so many different ways. Everything inside their bodies were so lit up and on high that if they hadn't stopped, they would have had . But now, Amber just felt dead inside like she had lost the reason for her to live, lost the very thing that was keeping her alive – because she had.

Whenever Amber asked herself why she even took these pictures in their respective times, as well as why she kept them after everything, was because she didn’t want to miss Krystal if she were to ever leave. She figured that if she had Krystal’s pictures, she wouldn’t have a reason to miss her because she would always be there with her, smiling that same smile that Amber fell in love with, and the same eyes that held love just for her. She thought maybe they could lift her spirits, could fill the emptiness inside of her, but they couldn’t and they didn’t. Worse was all she felt when she looked at them, and was left with a sick feeling when she realized that she couldn’t change anything, along with the fact that she could’ve been the reason this all happened but would never know for sure now.

So, here she sat, going through old captured memories instead of making new ones, left with nothing but them and the empty feeling inside. Everyone she talked to had all said that the pain would fade with time, that things would get better and that she would eventually move on, but at that time she wasn’t so sure about that. She had been caught between the want to rid herself of the memories that only made her feel like absolute , and the want to keep them because they had sentimental value and were proof that they existed, that their story actually happened. But she couldn’t continue on with this war anymore. She was tired of feeling this way and tired of wanting back something that could never be returned to her. So, she decided that there would be no more crying, no more wishing Krystal would come back, and no more asking herself what she had done wrong; it was time to move on.

Tossing in all of the pictures on the bed into the little silver trashcan on her floor, Amber lit one up and threw it in the bin, watching as the others caught fire and burned. As she watched the only memories left of her story with Krystal, she breathed in a sigh of relief at the thought of never having to see them again. While she would miss them, there was no doubt about that, she was okay with that now and no longer felt the pull to keep them around. This was the first step to healing, the first step to her being happy again and not having the weight of a past relationship holding her down. No one said it would be easy, this was a person she spent most of her life with and shared and trusted her with many things that she didn't with her family, but it wasn't the end of the world and she would find someone like that again – all she had to do was look. Now that she had a clear head, she could finally start a new album with someone else, taking pictures of them and collecting their memories together. Things would be a little different this time though because instead of staring at them alone, her new other half would be there looking at them with her.

After letting out a sigh and a smile appearing on her face after several months without one, Amber grabbed her keys and headed out of her apartment without another look back, leaving the burning memories of a lost story that she now no longer wanted or needed behind.

~*~

Oh good Goddess, I’m so sorry that this is complete crap. I’m not entirely sure if I did “break up angst” any justice. Usually I’m good with angst, but I don’t think I did a good job with this one or if it flowed well enough. I think all I need is a little more work and I’ll get better; I’m still a little rusty. H’anyway, I got my inspiration from Conor Maynard’s album ‘Contrast’, particularly the song ‘Pictures’, as I said before. Seriously though, you should listen to his album. Alright! Well, I hope you all enjoyed this little “angsty” oneshot and that you’ll keep it locked here with me for more.

Stay tuned lovelies and thanks for reading.