June 21, 2013

“I’ll be back.” Is all what he said before he left the young boy under the tree, so young and so naïve. The young boy smiles at him innocently, understanding and acknowledging his words. The air shifts, playing along around as the distant rumble of the thunder is heard at the distant and the sky darkens.

The boy is abandoned all alone under the tree, soaked and shivering.

June 22, 2013

The clock spins.

July 4, 2020

“Sehun, are you there?” a young tanned man asks as he opened the door of the room. The room is swallowed up by darkness and brunette has to narrow his eyes to outline a figure on the corner of the room, making out a curled up form.

“Sehun, I know you’re there,” the brunette says, boredom lingering in his voice, completely not fazed at the scene. Stiff silence envelopes them, before a shattering of vase filled the stiff atmosphere, crashing and deafening.

“Go away Jongin,” a heavy thick voice answered, anger seeping out of the statement. Jongin rolls his eyes, walking in through the darkness, blending so well before halting in front of Sehun, knowing too well where to locate the man.

He stands in front of him, eyes boring to the curled man at the corner; he rolls his eyes, definitely not believing that he’s doing this.

“Get up, you slowpoke,” Jongin orders, voice firm and annoyed. Sehun didn’t spare him a glance, knowing well he wouldn’t even see the face of his friend, so why bother? He didn’t move just like he was ordered to, liking the fact that he is stubborn and won’t bow down to a mere peasant like Jongin.

And by knowing so, he knows that his stubbornness ticks Jongin off and that Jongin, in a matter of seconds now, would likely pull his arm up, dragging his jelly body and drag him outside and party cheer up plan is going to be executed. He already knows what’s going to happen since the scenario happens once a week, anyways.

Having no answer, Jongin could feel his patience burns down and that he knew this is going to happen again, the scenarios, and he refused to let that happen. He bit his lips hard as he hardens his stare at the young boy.

“Get the hell up, Sehun.”

“No.”

“No? Screw you, Oh. Get up!”

“No.”

That’s the last straw and Jongin grabbed his arm, pulling his jelly body together with it and drag his body outside of the room, the sudden light caused Sehun to block it with his hands because it’s just so bright.

Jongin hurled the dark blue-haired boy at the couch, standing in front of the younger, eyes boring at him in annoyance. Sehun rolls his eyes on him, sighing deeply after, completely not fazed by his gaze.

“What do you want, Jongin? What does your lovely presence wind up at my place that you have to drag me out of my domain. What do you want, your highness?” Sehun says sarcastically, puffing out a heavy sigh. Jongin snickers at his sarcasm, shrugging the sarcasm off like nothing. He quirks his eyebrows at the younger, lips pursed to ask a question and Sehun stared back at him, waiting for his question.

“You, Oh Sehun, is such a troublesome person,” Jongin starts and Sehun tries so hard not to frown at Jongin’s statement, “Joonmyeon hyung wants your pretty back at the office, because he’s short of staff and he needs you.”

Sehun laughs humourlessly at what Jongin said, before he snickers, “The old man wants me back? After kicking me out of the office, he wants me back? The old geezer thinks I’m a push-over or something? Pretty great for him, but no.”

Jongin snickers, “Yeah, right. Because , you’ll going be back there whether you like it or not.”

Sehun raised a challenging eyebrow on him, completely in disbelief of what he is saying.

“You sure? Because I’m not going back there, Jongin. N-O.”

Jongin puts up a tight smile.

“Not on my watch, Oh Sehun,”

July 14, 2020

“Bro’, you okay? You look so tired,” Jongdae sates to the younger, who was sitting at the lounge, arm draped over his face, breathing heavily in and out, sweat trickling down from his head across his face.

“Thanks for stating the obvious Jongdae. Thank you, really. I appreciate it,” Sehun retorts back and Jongdae smiled at him.

“You’re welcome, though.”

Sehun rolled his eyes, gritting his teeth for a bit before letting out a sigh. He looks around the grand lounge, so beautiful and majestic for others but so plain and dirty in Sehun’s eyes. Around the lounge contains a lot of past histories, pained and cruel and Sehun has to shut his eyes because it’s too painful to replay the scenes that occurs at the lounge.

“What are you thinking about?” Jongdae asks him, breaking his train of thoughts and he was glad for that. He caresses his silky hair, ruffling it a bit before he puts up a pained face.

“About our work,” he says to him, eyes circling with emotions and Jongdae stares at him.

“Our work?”

“Yeah.”

“What’s wrong with it?”

The air shifts a bit, their breathings heard in the entire lounge before Sehun spoke, eyes darkening a bit, “Nothing.”

July 30, 2020

Sehun looks out at the large glass window of his room at the headquarters, watching the rain pours down heavily on the city. The city seems to be dull and the fog covers it whole all together. He shifts his gaze at the street outside, watching the people scurries off to the nearest shelter or just simply continues their way towards to their destination.

He narrows his eyes on the road, trying to spot any familiar dark red-haired boy on the road walking or standing. But the rain pours down heavily, and his heart seems to be disappointed because there’s no luck today just like the other days.

August 10, 2020

The world seems to spin around, around and around and Sehun wonders what the world is trying to accomplish when it continues to spin, but then, he asks himself, what is the point of waiting, anyways?

He has no answers for that.

August 29, 2020

“Here,” Joonmyeon says as he hands out the short silver envelope to him. He took it from his hand, checking the files inside and scans through it. He casted Joonmyeon a raised eyebrow, eyes questioning him.

“What is this?”

He knows it’s dumb to ask that, but he feels ridiculed by the files that he just scanned. Joonmyeon gives him a wicked smile, eyes turning crescent in return and Sehun shudders.

“It’s a simple task, Sehun. Can’t do it?” Joonmyeon taunts him and Sehun felt his blood boil. The only thing he can’t handle is being taunted of being not able to do any tasks at all. And Joonmyeon taunting him of being not able to do a simple task simply irks him.

“I can do it,” he breathes out angrily. A wide smile painted Joonmyeon’s face.

“Good. Then go.”

September 12, 2020

Scarlet hue dances across the floor.

September 26, 2020

“Jongin?”

“Yeah?”

“Why are we doing this?”

Jongin looked at him, ridiculed and baffled by his question.

“Did you just seriously ask me that, Sehun?” Jongin asks him in surprise. Sehun nods his head, knowing well what he asked.

“Yeah, I did. So answer my question. Why are we doing this?”

Jongin sits beside the younger, dangling his legs on the bridge, almost touching the clear, fresh, blue water. The fishes gather around them as he throws out fish food into the water. Silence enveloping them for awhile before Jongin broke it.

“We are doing this because we need to survive in this world of ours, Sehun. We need to survive. Because the one who break down first, lose the game,” Jongin replies, humming after. Sehun nods his head, acknowledging the answer that Jongin told him.

He looks up at the sky, bright baby blue with soft streaks of clouds, he sees the expanse of sky and he frowns.

“The world is so big.”

“No, it’s not. The world is just small. We just see it as big, because we want to think it that way.”

Silence enveloped them again, before they bursts out into fits of laughter, laughing out how they doubt and questions about their life and the world.

“It’s really funny though, how the world is so cruel and dark.”

Footsteps were heard behind them and they just stared ahead, not minding it at all.

The clear water paints with red.

October 16, 2020

He’s at the lounge again, drinking his coffee with leisure and satisfaction. It’s a cool evening, enchanting and nice. The moon is up with its glow of light, lighting up the dark part of the world, but not all of it. Hidden among the darkness lies the dark secrets of all, kept hidden forever and ever.

A figure comes in the lounge, drenched in sweat and fatigue. Sehun takes note of the presence, eyeing the figure from head to toe while sipping his coffee before he settles it at the wooden table intricate with many symbols and designs.

“How is it?” he asks indirectly. Kyungsoo throws the heavy metal on the table causing a noise, but didn’t faze the younger boy. Kyungsoo sat on the couch across Sehun, regaining his breath a bit before he replies,

“Quite good. Joonmyeon gave me a lot.”

“And the prize?”

“Jewels.”

“Good catch.”

“Yeah, how about you?”

Sehun takes a sip again on his coffee, feeling the bitter taste all of a sudden.

“Just average. I requested it since I don’t want to end up like your state now.”

Kyungsoo laughs at his statement, amused at his answer.

“Prize?”

“Guns.”

October 29, 2020

“Baek, how long?”

“Not too long. Not too long.”

“Am I going to see him again?”

“Soon, if you don’t die, though.”

“I’m not going to die though, right?”

“You’re not.”

November 15, 2020

“Are you kidding me, Joonmyeon? The Parks? Really?” Jongdae throws the files to Joonmyeon, who simple closed his eyes. He pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling the migraine that is soon to come.

“You’re the only one who is capable of handling this, Jongdae,” Joonmyeon replies monotonously. Jongdae gritted his teeth, balling his fists in the matter.

“Why can’t you send Jongin or Kyungsoo instead? They’re better than me,” Jongdae grits out. Joonmyeon casted him a blank look.

“You’re my right-hand Jongdae. And I require obedience from you,” Joonmyeon retorts. Clawing his palm and feeling the familiar liquid, Jongdae takes the files that were scattered before he glares at the male in front of him.

“If I die, don’t you even dare come to my grave, Joonmyeon.”

The door slams heavily and echoes on the room. Joonmyeon sighs deeply, resting his chin on the back of his hand.

November 18, 2020

“You’re going to the Park’s, Jongdae?” Sehun and Jongin ask at the same time, surprised at the sudden news. Jongdae huffs out heavily, nodding his head in response.

“Joonmyeon told me that I’m capable of doing it by myself.”

“But the Parks…” Sehun trailed off before shuddering at the name. Park is known to be part of the Black Dragons, the most experience and elite guy on the family. They were informed that Park killed three families of elite all by himself and only scratches were his damages. So hearing that Jongdae is going up to fight Park, it shocks them to hear the news.

Jongin nodded his head, knowing well what Sehun is trying to say as his eyes focuses at the older male. Jongdae lets out a sigh, before raking his fingers through his hair.

‘You’re not going to die, right?” Jongin says worriedly.

Jongdae looks at them with tired eyes before he gives them a tight smile.

“I won’t.”

November 21, 2020

“Jongdae! Jongdae!” Sehun cries out to the older boy who was coughing out blood, blood trickling out from the side of the mouth as he painfully pressed the wounded right waist of his. Sehun cradles the older boy in his arms, eyes panicking in worry and defeat.

Jongdae coughs out more blood before his eyes scanned the younger male, memorizing the features of the young boy he trained and known for one last time.

“Se…hun…”

“Jongdae! Don’t leave, please!” Sehun begs him and Jongdae laughs for the last time, so weak, forced and pained.

“It’s okay…it’s…o-okay…I’m…o-okay…” he replies weakly to him. Sehun cries at the dying male in his arms, shaking his head multiple times, not wanting to believe him or saying that he doesn’t want the older male to die.

“Please don’t go! Please!” Sehun begs for the last time and Jongdae smiles at him.

“Be…f…re-e,” he whispers his last breath before he closes his eyes. Sehun closes his eyes in pain, tears flowing out from his eyes as he cries out to his dead hyung. Explosives were heard around, rumbling the whole mansion, but he doesn’t pay attention to it, instead he grieves for the dead.

Jongin bursts in the room, finding Sehun grieving for Jongdae. He runs to him, hurling him up, making the body lay on the floor, cold and dead while Sehun thrashes around, shouting Jongdae’s name as Jongin pulls him out of the room.

The explosives continue and the heard of gunshot were heard around as Jongin pulls Sehun with him, trying to escape the crumbling mansion. They got out safely, Jongin dragging Sehun to the hill before he takes a moment to breathe for all the running he did. Sehun ignores to breathe instead he continues to cry for Jongdae.

Jongin looks at him, pained expression filling his face. He approaches the younger, enveloping him in an embrace, rocking him and patting him at the shoulder at the same time, to comfort him as tears also spilled from his eyes as he grieves for Jongdae’s death.

November 28, 2020

The coffin is laid deep of the earth and was covered before a polished stone is set on the ground. Sehun cries on Jongin’s shoulder, crying over for Jongdae. Kyungsoo sadly looks at the grave as the crowd disperse and few stayed. Kyungsoo bit his lip, trying hard not to cry. The air shifts a bit before Kyungsoo looks at the faraway side and saw Joonmyeon looking at where they are.

He shakes his head, mumbling an apology to Jongdae before he shifts gaze back to the grave, eyeing the grave with sadness and sympathy.

“He came to see you, Jongdae, even for a glimpse. He still went. Hope you forgive him, though.”

November 30, 2020

“How are things?”

“Everything is okay. It’s all progressing according to plan,” the brunette replies to him, halting beside the wheelchair.  The red-haired boy smiled, nodding his head as he understood.

“That’s good then. How is Park? Hope he didn’t lose too much blood,” the red-haired boy states, a slight worry filling his voice and the brunette smiles.

“He’s doing fine. He informed me that he’ll be back in no time.”

The person on the wheelchair smiled, “That’s great to hear, then. I suppose he did his job?”

“Yeah, he aimed pretty good. He also told me that the tanned boy shot him in the leg pretty well,” the brunette laughs out as if what he told was funny. The latter smiled, amused at what the brunette said.

“Park is really interesting,” he says.

“The time is drawing near…” the brunette utters in a low voice, his voice dropping 3 octaves. The latter hums knowingly, smiling after.

December 8, 2020

Sehun looks out at the large glass window of his room at the headquarters, watching the rain pours down heavily on the city. The city seems to be dull and the fog covers it whole all together. He shifts his gaze at the street outside, watching the people scurries off to the nearest shelter or just simply continues their way towards to their destination.

He narrows his eyes on the road, trying to spot any familiar dark red-haired boy on the road walking or standing. But the rain pours down heavily, and his heart seems to be disappointed because there’s no luck today just like the other days.

December 10, 2020

“What the hell are you doing, Sehun?”

Sehun looks back at the photos, eyeing each of the pictures. Several papers were scattered on the large table, crumpled and straight, red markings were encircled in some, pencil and notebook marked with notes and dates, the whole place is a mess.

Jongin was going to ask Sehun out for lunch, but seeing the mess in the latter’s room, completely overrides it. The brunette approaches the latter, eyes scanning the things around him and when he saw it, he looks at the younger in surprise.

“You’re still onto this?” he asks with a raised eyebrow. Sehun eyed the pictures, humming at Jongin’s question.

“I need to. I checked everything again and some pieces were missing.”

Jongin grits his teeth, hands balling into fists before he grabbed the collar of the younger, making the younger face him with an undefined gaze.

“Stop this , Sehun. Stop it!” Jongin yells at him. Sehun stared at him knowingly, before he pushed Jongin away from him and fixed his collar.

“I’m going to find him, Jongin. He’s out there and I know it.

Jongin sees red, grabbing the collar of Sehun again and punched the younger in the face, making the latter fall to the ground, blood seeping out from the mouth from the hard punch. Sehun stared at him angrily, but Jongin’s anger overtops it.

“Stop it, Sehun! Luhan is dead! He’s dead, okay? Stop looking for someone who is dead!!” Jongin yells at him before the former leaves the room, slamming the door hard in form of his anger, causing the things near the door to shaken up.

Sehun tastes the blood on his mouth, spitting it out on the floor as he stood up. He glared at the pictures that were scattered on the table before slams his fisted hand on the table; angry at himself and the world.

December 11, 2020

“He’s out there.”

December 25, 2020

An explosion occurs at the headquarters.

December 30, 2020

“Are you okay, Jongin?” Sehun asks as he gently placed the man on the couch. Jongin groans in response, feeling the blood seeps out from his wounded stomach. Sehun quickly takes the kit from the kitchen and joins Kyungsoo who got the basin and dozens of towel.

“You idiot, what the hell did your pea brain think that jumping in the river is a great idea?” Kyungsoo scolds the wounded man and Jongin grunted. Sehun was clueless of what they are talking about because he was on the middle of business when Kyungsoo phoned him to find Jongin in Hangang River. He found Jongin bleeding and soaked in water at the dry land, weak and almost pale.

He wonders what Jongin is into and how he got wounded heavily. Jongin is a professional, a real one and the most experienced, and to suddenly know that the man is wounded, simply surprised him a little.

“How did Jongin get into this?” the younger asks shakily to Kyungsoo. The older male finishes tending to the wound, bandaging the wound is all that is left. Kyungsoo wraps the bandage around the stomach, applying small pressure to the wound before he ties it up. He turns to the waiting younger, shaking at the things that happened.

His eyes softened at the sight and he tenderly patted the younger’s thigh.

“He was on the run, the elites of the Black Dragon were chasing after him.”

“But why? I don’t remember Joonmyeon giving him any tasks…”

“Yeah, you’re right about that. Well, you see,” Kyungsoo palmed the wounded stomach, making Jongin howl in pain, causing the latter to smirk, “…this idiot here did nothing at all. But for some reason, the elites of the Black Dragon saw him and well, kind of, chasing after him for some reason and while on the run, the idiot thought of jumping to the river with a wound on the stomach is a great idea.”

Kyungsoo palmed the wound again and Jongin howls in pain again, growling at Kyungsoo after.

“ing hell? Are you trying to kill me, Kyungsoo?” Jongin grits out as he glowered down at Kyungsoo menacingly. Kyungsoo shrugs, a smile gracing his lips after.

“Maybe…”

“Why, you piece of little ! Yah! Get back here Do! Yah! Kyungsoo! If I ing see you, you’re going to hell! I swear!” Jongin shouted profanities at Kyungsoo, who left to who knows where and was left alone with Sehun.

Jongin breathes hard, in and out, before his eyes gazed over to the younger. He saw Sehun has his hands balled into fists and was shaking. He sits up carefully, ignoring the pain his stomach. He kneeled down on the floor, levelling with Sehun and held the younger’s hand.

“Hey, hey, I’m okay. Don’t worry about me, Sehun,” Jongin assures the younger, but Sehun shaked his head, tears spilling from his eyes as he body trembles more. He looks at Jongin with a tear-filled face and Jongin’s heart ache at the sight.

“I thought I’m going to lose you, Jongin. I thought I’m going to lose you…” he says mournfully to the former. Jongin enveloped him in a hug, comforting the younger with all he can, ignoring the heavy pain that he is feeling in his stomach.

“Shh, there, there. I’m okay, Sehun. I’m okay. Don’t worry about me. I’m still alive and I won’t leave you. Never.” Jongin assures him, but Sehun sobs more, and Jongin lets him because he knows it’s a trauma to the younger already. Losing someone who is so dear to him gave the young boy a trauma and he knows that letting Sehun cry is okay. Jongdae’s death affected them both heavily, for Jongdae was a great mentor and friend.

And losing someone like him broke their heart, but Jongin knows that a certain man grieves for the dead man most than them. And having his life near death makes him worry for the younger, knowing well that his life is important for Sehun and him.

“Please don’t die like Jongdae, Jongin. Please. Please.”

Jongin pats Sehun’s shoulder, comfortingly and assuring.

“I won’t. I won’t,” he promises the younger, ‘but I can’t keep it forever, Sehun.’

January 1, 2021

The clock spins.

January 5, 2021

“Here is what you’re going to do.”

Joonmyeon hands him a silver envelope. He takes the files out, scanning the contents before he puts it back.

“Okay, then,” he whispers, eye blank yet daze that seems shaken. Joonmyeon doesn’t notice, and the former smiles at him.

“Good. I expect a good performance.”

Sehun nods his head, bowing a bit to Joonmyeon before he leaves the cold room, shutting the door with a click.

January 8, 2021

A man looks at him in fear, body trembling and eyes pleading for mercy. The young male doesn’t seem to be fazed at the man’s action; instead he aims the gun right at the head. The man sputtered incoherent words, fear at the utmost as his life is one step away to death.

“Please don’t! Please don’t kill me!” the man begs for one last time, but the young male won’t hear him. Instead a mumble of ‘goodbye’ is the response and a deafening shot of a gun is heard in the empty messy room.

Scarlet hue decorates the beautiful carpet.

January 23, 2021

The world seems to spin around, around and around and Sehun wonders what the world is trying to accomplish when it continues to spin, but then, he asks himself, what is the point of waiting, anyways?

He has no answers for that.

February 15, 2021

“Jongin,” he calls out to the older male.

The tanned man hums, eyeing his gun with careful look and awe, cleaning it with a clean cloth.

“What is it?”

“Have you ever thought of living a normal life?”

Jongin’s hand stopped for a moment, a stiff silence enveloping them, before he continues cleaning the gun again.

“I have thought of it,” he replies to him. Sehun casted him a gaze, quirking his eyebrow up.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“So what have you thought about it?”

Jongin stopped cleaning his gun, checking it carefully before he aims it at the vase.

“Useless.”

A shot is heard and the vase crumbles into fragments, the water dancing around with the flowers falling graciously to the floor.

February 28, 2021

He looks at the picture of them, young and still a child. The young two boys were smiling widely, a beautiful sight to see. He smiled at the picture of them, his fingertips slightly tracing and caressing the tall boy of the two.

“The time is close, so close. Just wait for me, my love.”

---

Sehun looks at their picture, looking at the last picture they took together. A wide and innocent smile plastered on the older of the two while his was forced and pained. It was the day before that fateful day. He took one last memento of them, to have one last memory of them.

The story is still incomplete, he says to Jongin when he came back to the office. The story isn’t done yet, but it will soon. Missing pieces are scattered around, but it doesn’t matter for the important pieces are needed only.

---

“But you need the missing pieces in order to finish the story. Scattered or not, the story has to be complete with the gaping holes,” he says to no one in particular before he tore the picture into two  and leaves the torn pictures on the night stand and wheeled himself out of the room.

---

“But if the pieces are not good or memorable at all, why bother putting it back? It’s better to have an incomplete story, the important one, instead of having a pained story at all.”

Sehun places back the frame on the night stand before shifting his gaze at the balcony of the headquarters, sighting Kyungsoo and Jongin together.

The darkness swallows his room.

March 7, 2021

“Are you sure you could handle it? Jongdae couldn’t handle the task that I gave him,” Joonmyeon replies to Sehun who requested to handle the killing of Park. It was sudden and Joonmyeon was flabbergasted at the sudden request.

“Don’t you even ing dare utter his name! You don’t even have the right!” Sehun growls out to him, eyes burning in anger. Joonmyeon stared at him, eyes darkening at his tone.

“Watch your words, Sehun. Watch your ing mouth,” Joonmyeon retorts, anger seeping out from his statement. Sehun purses his lips, holding back to aim his gun at Joonmyeon’s head. Joonmyeon sighs deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Why are you requesting this?”

Silence enveloped them as the moon outside shone on the dark room, reflecting them.

“Revenge.”

March 15, 2021

Sehun had him on the corner, beaten up and spitting out of blood from the fight that they had. The room is in mess from the struggle they had. Sehun was burning in anger and he surpassed the odds when he fought. The wounded man laughs at him, laughing instead of begging for mercy.

Sehun the gun to the man’s head, straight and firm, but the man didn’t mind, instead he laughs until his last breath.

“My, my. You’ve grown Sehunnie! You’re no longer the weak man we have seen back then,” the man sarcastically says. Sehun pushes the gun harder on the man’s forehead, finger threatening to pull the trigger.

The man coughs out blood, but he still smiles.

“You shouldn’t be doing this, Sehun. He wouldn’t like it at all. Killing is no way to survive this world of ours, Oh. You could still live a normal life, not like this with the world of death and blood.”

Sehun grits his teeth at what the man is saying, “Shut your trap, Chanyeol. I don’t ing need a lecture from you.”

Chanyeol frowns at him, “Luhan doesn’t want this for you, Oh. He doesn’t want this life for you.”

Sehun growls at him, pressing the tip of the gun harder on Chanyeol’s forehead.

“He’s the cause of this . He’s the cause of why my life is like this. You ing don’t know what the hell I’ve gone through, so do-,”

“I know, Sehun. I know. I’ve watched you since the day he left you. Every day, we would watch you and we would tell him what you have done for the day. He’s always sad to know that you’ve been killing people, that you’ve been killing innocent people like him. He doesn’t want this life for you, Sehun. He doesn’t want you to have this life,” Chanyeol utters, eyes glazed with sympathy and sincerity. Sehun eyes waver as he grits his teeth and pulls the gun away before punching Chanyeol in the face causing the man to fall on the floor.

“I don’t need your crap, Chanyeol. I don’t need it. What’s done is done. And everything is his fault that my life ended up this way. He abandoned me. He left me. He never returned.”

A shot rang on both of their ears and one took his last breath and the other breaks down in pain.

March 30, 2021

“The time is drawing near…”

April 5, 2021

Jongin opened the room, darkness greeted him first but he ignored it. His eyes scanned the room before he enters; turning the switch on and finding the person he is look for at the corner of the room, curled up into a ball, shaking and probably sobbing.

He approaches the boy, watching out for fragments of vases and mirror as he makes his way to him. He kneeled down; pulling the younger’s hands and enveloping him in a hug. Sehun fisted Jongin’s shirt, sobbing at his chest, hard.

“It hurts, Jongin. It hurts…it hurts,” Sehun cries out, punching Jongin’s chest as he grits out the words. Jongin held him tighter as if he is telling that the younger that he is here for him. Sehun sobs more, whimpering and wailing at the pain that his heart is feeling.

Memories of the past rushed back to him, painful and worthless. It hurts, everything hurts. He wants to forget it all, but he can’t. He shouldn’t be living in this kind of world, but he is and it’s his entire fault.

Abandoned and all alone under the rain, why did things end up that way? How did he end up this way?

He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know. He wants the answers but at the same time he doesn’t want to. Because the past is so painful that it hurts to look back at it.

Jongin held him tighter as Sehun sobs at his chest more, soaking his shirt in the process, but he doesn’t mind.

“Shh…Shh…”

April 21, 2021

Sehun looks out at the large glass window of his room at the headquarters, watching the rain pours down heavily on the city. The city seems to be dull and the fog covers it whole all together. He shifts his gaze at the street outside, watching the people scurries off to the nearest shelter or just simply continues their way towards to their destination.

He spots a red-haired boy in the midst of the crowd. He shakes his head, turning away and leaves the room.

May 12, 2021

“Joonmyeon hyung, did you love Jongdae hyung?” Sehun asks out in the blue. Joonmyeon looks at him in surprise at what he said. How did their conversation end up this way? Joonmyeon composes himself again, eyes focused at the photo frame on the table. His eyes softened sadly, lips curving into a small smile.

“Yes, I do. I do really love Jongdae even until now, I still do,” Joonmyeon replies, a hint of happiness in his voice at the same time sadness mixes with it.

“How did you end up loving him?” the younger asks curiously, wondering how Joonmyeon loves Jongdae. Joonmyeon smiles at his question, stopping what he is doing for a moment.

“He was simple, nice and a bit quiet. He’s a bit soft-spoken but he could be really loud if he wants to. He’s thoughtful and very lovable. I…I just found myself falling in love with him and somehow things end up this way. I wasn’t able to confess me love to him because I was a coward, but after seeing his letter for me before he died, I found out that he loves me also and  that he hopes to hear my answer if he would be able to live. I...I regretted it.”

“Then why? Why did you send him to Chanyeol? Why? If you knew he is going to die soon, why did you still send him there?”

Joonmyeon held back his tears as he felt his throat constrict in pain, knowing too well why, but he doesn’t answer. Sehun waited for his answer, but he still didn’t respond. Feeling that Joonmyeon wouldn’t answer anymore, Sehun shakes his head before he leaves the room.

As he heard the door shut, he shuts his eyes as tears flows out from his eyes, a whimper of pain leaving his lips.

It hurts.

His heart hurts.

The cruel scar of pain heightens as he remembers the last time he met Jongdae.

“Forget about me.”

May 22, 2021

“Baek?” a silky, melodious voice calls out to the male. There was no response for awhile before a shuffling of noises were heard.

“Yes?” It was hoarse, broken and pained and the former flinches at the voice of Baekhyun.

“Are you still crying over Chanyeol’s death?” he asks and a sob was the answer. Baekhyun sobs at the sheet, still crying over the death of Chanyeol. They already held the ceremony for Chanyeol’s death since a few days ago, but the pain hurts a lot.

A comforting hand is place on his shoulder, and Baekhyun feels the subtle warmth. It’s not enough, but he needs it and it’s enough.

“Baekhyun…”

“I’m okay. I’m okay. I…I just need to get this out,” Baekhyun whispers out weakly. He looks at him sadly, before muttering an ‘okay’.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles, but Baekhyun hard it anyways and he shuts his eyes in pain, tears still flowing out from his eyes.

“It’s okay…it’s okay…Chanyeol wouldn’t want you to apologize. He did it for you and for us. So don’t say your apology, Luhan. It’s okay…it’s okay,” Baekhyun croaks out to him and Luhan shuts his eyes. The room is colder than ever and the darkness seems to be darker than usual.

May 25, 2021

The clock spins.

May 28, 2021

“There’s a letter for you, Sehun.”

Jongin hands him the letter and Sehun wonders that who could have send him a letter. He doesn’t remember telling anyone his address, so who could have send him a letter? He opens it unknowingly and Jongin bit his lip, balling his hands into fists as Sehun read the paper.

Sehun read the papers and the clock ticks wherein Jongin closes his eyes as the papers fall to the carpet.

---

“He wants to see me…” Sehun spoke and Jongin breathes in, “He wants to see me, Jongin. Luhan wants to see me.”

“I know,” Jongin breathes out and Sehun casts him a look.

“How did you know?”

“Baekhyun told me when he delivered the letter to me,” he replies, a subtle anger lingering in his voice. A stiff and awkward silence enveloped them as Sehun debated whether to go or not. He was torn on what to do and he can’t decide at all. He wants to see Luhan again, but at the same time he doesn’t want to.

He fisted his hair, annoyed by the fact that he can’t decide on what to do at all. He growls under his breath, his hair more, hard and painful. Jongin sat beside him, swatting his hands away from his head and held the younger’s hand.

Sehun looked at him tiredly, tired and torn and Jongin smiles at him.

“Go and see him.”

June 1, 2021

Sehun waited under the familiar tree, waiting for Luhan to come. The boy has been waiting for a few minutes, but it feels so long and Sehun feels impatient. After waiting a few more minutes, he spotted a red-haired boy from a distant and Sehun could feel his heart race at the sight.

His eyes waver when he saw Luhan on a wheelchair, a blanket draped over his legs and Sehun felt the urge to ask how it happened, but he tries to suppress it, because this is not what he had come for.

Luhan approaches him, halting in front of him as Sehun looks down at him. He smiles graciously at the younger; glad that came to see him. His tender eyes affectionately eyeing the younger male’s face, trying to memorize the details.

“You still look so beautiful, Sehun-ah,” Luhan says with affection. Sehun stares at him blankly, trying hard not to waver nor break. He looks at Luhan’s face, still the same and beautiful. Nothing has changed at all and it gives Sehun’s heart a wash of relief.

“You too, Luhan,” Sehun replies, a bit monotone and flat, but he doesn’t mind. Luhan didn’t flinch but instead he smiles at him knowingly.

“I’m sorry,” Is the first thing he says after their greeting with each other. Sehun narrows his eyes on him and Luhan sadly smiles at him.

“I’m so sorry, Sehun,” he repeats and Sehun wavers.

“Why?” he croaks out to him and Luhan looks down at his lap.

“WHY!” Sehun yells out to him, the pain evident in his voice. Luhan stares at his lap for awhile before he rested his hands on his lap.

“I did that, because…I don’t want you to end up like me. I don’t want you to love someone who kills people. I don’t want you to have a hard life, misery and grief being the core basis of life when you are with me. Because being with me…only gives you nothing but misery and pain, Sehun-ah,” Luhan calmly answers, eyes gazing softly to Sehun.

Sehun grits his teeth; sympathy and anger are his emotions. His heart pounds and everything seems to be dull and buzz. He angrily looks at the frail boy, eyes boring at him in anger as tears spill from his eyes.

“That’s the reason why you abandon me, Luhan? That’s why? ing hell, are you kidding me? I’m not buying that , Luhan. No. I’m not buying that . My life ended up this way! And it’s your entire fault. If you would have just returned that fateful day and explained to me and didn’t leave me hanging all alone, confused and torn. I would have understood. But you didn’t. And that’s your fault,” Sehun chortles humourlessly before he takes out his gun and pointed it at Luhan’s head, aim precise and clear.

“I’m going to ing kill you, Luhan. You deserve to die.”

Luhan smiles at him, before he frowns.

“It’s a shame that you didn’t take the path that I gave you. Instead you took mine,” Luhan utters to him and Sehun’s eyes lit up in flame.

“You don’t deserve my goodbye and waiting,” Sehun says for the last time before a shot is heard.

---

“Sehun!” someone from afar calls him out. He snaps his head towards the call and he finds Jongin running up to him, fear evident in his eyes and he wonders why. A lock is marked on him and he doesn’t know. Luhan calmly breathes in and out, not fazed by the gun that is threatening to pull.

“Jongin?” he mumbles under his breath unconsciously.

A shot is made and Sehun feels nothing at first, before he feels the excruciating pain in his chest and casted Luhan an undefined gaze, sighting Luhan’s sad smile and sad eyes, as if he is asking for forgiveness and he hears the mumble of ‘sorry’ and ‘I love you’ from his lips and Sehun smiles at him, pained yet forgiving.

He stumbles down the hill.

---

Sehun opens his eyes, painful and forced as he gazed at the man who cradles his weak and wounded body. He laughs weakly at him, laughing at his pain and everything.

“Jongin…” he calls out to him weakly and Jongin held him tighter as if he is afraid that he’ll slip away if he didn’t hold him tight.

“Sehun! Sehun!” Jongin yells his name and Sehun grunted. He coughs out heavily, blood seeping out from his parted lips.

“Too…noi…sy…Jongin….too…noi..sy,” Sehun complains even he is weak and almost dying, he still complains because he is Sehun. And Sehun is still Sehun until the end.

“Stop! Please! Stop talking, Sehun. Medics will be here! Kyungsoo called up already. Hang in there. They’ll be here…they’ll be here. Please stay with me, Sehun. Please!” Jongin begs for the last time, eyes pleading the dying man as tears continue to flow out from his eyes.

“I…I’m so…sorry, Jongin. I…I’m so sorry…I can’t…keep my promise…to…you…to go out…and see the…sunset…I’m…sorry…if I can’t…celebrate your…birthday…I’m so…sorry…” Sehun manages to cough out the words, inaudible and cracked but Jongin understood anyway, holding his hand tighter than ever.

“Sehun…Sehun…”Jongin mourns his name and Sehun laughs for the last time.

“I…diot,” he says and he looks at the sky above, white and clear, “Thank you…for every…thing…Jong…in. Thank…you…best…friend.”

Sehun coughs out more blood than ever, eyes closing as his body turned limp, his hand slipping away from Jongin’s hold, body turning cold and pale.

Jongin frantically calls out his name, shouting Sehun’s name as Medics came by, Kyungsoo and Joonmyeon and the others joining them. Explosives are heard, shots are the song of the day as the scarlet hue decorates the green grass, the blue sky turning pale as Jongin grieves for Sehun’s death

Jongin angrily looks at the frail man on the wheelchair, unmoving and somehow untouchable. Jongin growls under his breath, eyes flaming in anger as Luhan simply smiled at him.

“Monster,” Jongin growls, laying Sehun’s body gently together with the scarlet grass that seems to be perfectly complimented the man. The brunette stood up, hand taking his pistol from his belt as he moves toward Luhan, preparing to kill him.

He doesn’t hear Kyungsoo shouting his name; he doesn’t hear Joonmyeon telling him to stop. He doesn’t hear the sirens, the gunshots and explosives for everything is blocked off as he only focuses on the criminal who killed his best friend.

He wasn’t far away from Sehun, but simply a meter away when his body dropped on the soft grass, cold and weak. He coughs out blood, eyes moving everywhere as the world seems to spin around.

“The world is so big.”

“No, it’s not. The world is just small. We just see it as big, because we want to think it that way.”

The shot was on his chest, near his heart and Jongin feels the excruciating pain, feeling his whole body burn and suffer in pain. It hurts, he says, but it wasn’t heard. His eyes gazed softly at the boy across him. He smiles, forced and pained but happy.

“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry...if I couldn’t protect you…I wish…I could have kept…my…promise…but I…wasn’t able…to…hope you…for-give…me…though…”

“Hey Jong.”

“What?”

“What’s your wish?”

“Wish?”

“Yeah, your wish. You do have a wish for your birthday right?”

“A wish, huh?”

“Yeah, so what is it?”

Jongin smiled tenderly to him.

“I wish that I would be able to protect you no matter what.”

He watches the boy who he have grown up with, lived with and have known for. He loves the boy so much that it hurts that he sees him dead on the soft grass, so beautiful and enchanting still and Jongin laughs. He reaches out his hand, trying to reach the far boy, trying to reach out to him for one last time before his arm lies on the soft grass, caressing it ever so gently as the breeze of comfort passes by.

Jongin cries for the last time, eyes closing in pain and apology. He grits his teeth for the last time before he stops, memories rushing back like warmth and he sadly gaze at nothing, tears flowing out sadly as Jongin closes his eyes and took his last breath.

Scarlet hue dances across the red grass, mingling with it and blending perfectly as if it is made for each other.

June 2, 2020

The clock stops.

June 23

“Protect me? Why?” Sehun asks incredulously to Jongin. The cool bath of stars showering over them as they sat at the rooftop, the gentle caress of the night breeze passing by. Jongin smiles at him, putting the cake aside before he turns to the glittering expanse of sky.

“Because you’re weak. So vulnerable and frail. I want to protect you with all I can. I want to protect you with all my life,” Jongin replies softly to him and Sehun is taken aback by his sudden words.

“Woah! What has gotten to you, Jongin?” Sehun asks in awe, completely not used to the attitude of his best friend. Jongin feels his heart races as he smack Sehun’s arm playfully.

“I’m still me, you jerk,” Jongin retorts and they both laughed. Smiles were gracing their faces under the moonlight’s wonderful light, illuminating the dark world just perfectly. Their breathings were equal and in beat before Sehun spoke in a light voice.

“How will you protect me though? Will you send someone to protect me or will you set up a trap for the enemy before he or she could even kill me?”

Jongin laughs at his questions. A sad yet sincere smile graces his lips.

“Nope. I wouldn’t do those. I would rather sacrifice myself, my life for you than use those petty tactics.”

“Your life?”

“Yeah. Sacrificing my life is a better way to protect you. Risking my life would be the way.”

“But what if you wouldn’t be able to achieve that? What if I die first than you?”

Jongin clasps his hand with his, patting it as if he is assuring him.

“If that’ll happen, then I’ll follow you. My wish would be nothing but a piece of hope.”

A/N: Hope you enjoyed! ^^